Journal Entry Two

I'm plagued by dreams. I wake up every night either in a cold sweat or shaking. They're mostly about those first few days after Mom got sick. And always end when we take her back home and end up dead. There's always a different way she gets killed. Sometimes she kills herself, sometimes Dad kills her, and sometimes it's just the disease that takes her. And sometimes it's me. With her lying in bed, begging me to end it. I always hesitate then find some weapon in my hand a half second later. And I always go through with it. What happens to me afterwards in those dreams? I never sleep long enough to find out.

Those dreams always make me think about KE and our sister. They never make an appearance in my dreams. Why? I don't know. Maybe because they're no longer with me? But that doesn't make any sense. I've been plagued by these dreams for years. I find myself thinking of reasons why they're not there. Because it's just about me. How I'm dealing with things. Still doesn't explain everything, but that's the only thoughts I get.

I had another dream last night. This time it was me and that bear in the forest. I stayed hidden in the tent and the bear just moved on. Then that group had shown up. They were after the bear. I don't know why. Then they noticed me. No questions, like always. They just shot. Woke up panting and rolled off the bed. Forgot I was sleeping in an actual bed. Hadn't done that in a LONG time.

Ennis looked up from his writing when he heard something outside. Apparently this town wasn't as empty as he thought. Unless it was just the wind. He was hoping beyond hope that it was just the wind. He put his pen down, turned off the light then crept over to the window of his hotel room. He pulled back the curtain just slightly and looked outside.

A large group of people were there, crowded around someone. She was curled up on the ground, her clothes torn. The group standing around her were the same people he had seen in the woods. They were all dressed alike. Some type of uniform? He didn't move as he watched the group beat and throw the woman around. He knew he should do something, but going out there was suicide. He couldn't fight against them. He didn't have a weapon. And they would notice him long before he got close. The woman was on her own.

He stepped away from the window, feeling guilty now. He wasn't the type of person to just abandon someone. KE had taught him that. But, of course, KE never talked about saving a complete stranger. He couldn't do anything for that woman out there and he shouldn't. He would only get himself killed. He paced back and forth, trying to convince himself not to do something stupid.

But, he shoved everything back in his backpack, slipped it onto his back and left the room. He headed down the stairs, slowing his pace as he walked out into the lobby. He stepped outside, staying out of sight. He rounded the corner, staying hidden, and saw the group leaving. The direction they were going was out of town and none of them looked back. He waited a moment then looked toward the area they had been. He would have thought she was dead if he hadn't heard her crying in the sudden silence of the town.

Constantly thinking to himself that this was a bad idea, Ennis crept out of hiding and slowly made his way over to the woman. She had her arms over her head and there was blood everywhere. He knelt down and gently laid a hand on her arm. She screamed, crawling away as fast as she could. Afraid that she would bring the group back, Ennis held her down, clamping a hand over her mouth. She struggled, but he didn't let go.

"I'm not gonna hurt you," he said. He had grown up in Wyoming, but he had a rough Texan accent, thanks to his parents. "If you keep screamin', you will get hurt 'cause those guys are gonna be back." Understanding seemed to dawn on her and she nodded. Slowly, he let go of her and moved back. She sat up slowly, taking stock of her injuries and wincing in pain with every movement.

"How come they didn't kill you?" Ennis asked, sitting down there on the pavement. It was a rather rude question, but an obvious one. He hadn't come across anyone that would leave survivors.

"I really don't care," she said then looked at him. "Can we go inside? They might come back." There was no tough exterior on her. She was scared and trembling.

Ennis got to his feet then helped her up and led her back to the hotel and into his room. He locked the door and turned on a light. She was sitting on one of the beds. He went into the bathroom and got a wet washcloth then came back and handed it out to her. She took it and started cleaning herself up. The beatings hadn't been that bad. She would be fine by tonight. Which made him wonder even more as to why they left her. He certainly wouldn't be getting an answer from her. She was just grateful they had left her alone without finishing the job.

"You're staring," she said, breaking the silence after a few minutes. "But I should be used to it."

"Why?"

"I'm sick," she said, looking at him. "And contagious." She didn't say anything when he backed off a few steps. She just looked away and went back to cleaning herself. "Maybe."

Ennis shifted his weight from one foot to the other, uncomfortable. There was no way they would be traveling together whether or not she was contagious. "How do you know you're sick?" he asked.

"I've got a few symptoms," she said. She stared down at the bloody, dirty rag. "Been tryin' to make myself believe it's just allergies." She shook her head. "I know better."

"You can hide out here," Ennis said, backing toward the door slowly. "They won't find you. There's enough supplies for a few days." Again, he would have to leave the food he had found around here earlier this morning, but he needed to get away from her as soon as possible.

She got up quickly, a frantic look in her eyes. "You're leaving me?" she asked, her tone whining. "Those men..." She gestured toward the window then stared down at her hands.

Ennis was torn between leaving and staying. "I ain't sick," he said. "So you should understand that I'm a bit wary right now." He wouldn't usually be so honest, but something in him had changed over the last four years.

"But you came for me."

"I didn't know-"

"You can't leave me."

And for some odd reason, Ennis felt that he really shouldn't. But he didn't want to stick around her. He knew he was going to end up staying anyway, so he told her he would stay and she relaxed, sitting back down on the bed. He didn't put his backpack down though. He would keep his valuables as close as possible. To keep her out of it and to run as soon as the opportunity presented itself.

"What's your name?" she asked after she had calmed down a bit more.

"Ennis," he replied, cautiously walking over and sitting down on the other bed. He felt highly uncomfortable and wondered when he would start regretting going out there to see if she was okay.

"My name's Alma."

"Nice to meet you," Ennis said, though didn't really mean it. She didn't catch it. She just smiled at him, laid down and closed her eyes. Ennis sighed quietly, wondering what he was going to do now.


Ennis fell asleep later that night, curled up on top of the covers on his side, still wearing his backpack. He woke up to the sound of movement, hearing the bathroom door open and close then footsteps. He opened his eyes, but it was too dark to see. He didn't move when he heard his backpack unzip then Alma started rummaging through his pack. It had to be Alma. No one else knew he was here. After a moment she zipped it back up, obviously not finding anything she wanted. He didn't move or say anything, wondering if she would just end up leaving. That was a hopeful thought.

He closed his eyes when the lights came on. He panicked inside, wanting to strangle her for giving away his position if anyone could see the light from outside. He still wasn't sure if there were people still in town and decided he wasn't going to stay another day to find out. He needed to get moving again and he needed to get away from Alma.

He opened his eyes once more when he heard the sound of a gun being loaded. He sat up quickly and turned just as Alma was aiming the gun at her. Her eyes widened in surprise when she saw that he was awake and fired the gun at him, but he was already moving so she missed, destroying the pillow on the bed. He snatched the gun out of her hand before she could fire again and she backed up against the wall, away from him.

"You're gonna get us both killed," Ennis said, lifting the gun. He looked at it, thinking that it might come in handy sometime. He looked back at her. "Where the hell did you get this?" There was no way she had been hiding it this whole time.

"I found it," Alma said. "I went exploring around town."

Ennis' gut was telling him that this was bad. He shut off the light then walked over to the window and looked out. He didn't see anything, but that didn't mean someone wasn't in the hotel right now. If there were people here, someone had followed Alma back here. He wasn't leaving town easily.

"I'm sorry," Alma said, breaking the silence.

Ennis turned away from the window. "You tried to kill me," he said. "Save the apologies." He stuffed the gun into his belt then headed over to the door, stopping when he heard her following. "You ain't comin'."

"You can't just leave me here!"

Ennis couldn't be guilted into letting her come along this time. She had tried to kill him only because she could. She would just be a burden to have around. "You're on your own," he said then opened the door and stepped out into the dark hallway.

He didn't hear anything, but he headed down the hall cautiously. He looked behind him, but didn't see Alma. He started down the stairs at a slow pace, keeping himself from making too much noise. Alone or not, he wasn't going to bring attention to himself. He headed across the lobby and out of the hotel, pausing when he heard screaming.

He hurried around the corner and looked up, seeing Alma screaming for help at one of the windows. His room. He looked away at the sound of a gunshot and silence from Alma. He hadn't run into anyone on the stairs, so someone had already been on that floor when he had left. Someone had waited around. Which meant they would be coming after him soon.

Ennis ran over to a car, sliding into the front seat. He hotwired it, knowing that brought immediate attention to himself. He shoved the car into drive then took off down the street, heading out of town. If he was lucky, he'd be long gone before anyone knew where he had went.

His life was getting a little more stressful.


To Be Continued...