Another chapter, and again it's *long*. The problem with this story is that it feels like writing about a crazy roller coaster ride in some fantasy theme park (with fireworks) and it's difficult to find a decent opportunity to stop. I seldom know in advance, what the characters are going to do, but this time they're just - doing something different each time I get back to them. Aargh! *Somebody please tie Sebastian to his chair and gag him!* :)

The quotation, Sebastian uses to answer the bogeyman, is one of Mephisto's lines from Goethe (Faust, Part 1). Mephisto rules! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Sebastian, Ciel, Grell and/or any other characters of the series. I hold no rights whatsoever to Kuroshitsuji/"Black Butler", and I do not make money from this.


+++Chapter 2: Controlling the Crazies (or: "You know, she's a fairy? One of the thirteenth kind?")

'May Rin! What are you doing here?' Ciel rose to his feet, watching the basilisks move up beside the maid. Their eyes were blindfolded, but they were still an alarming sight. Ciel felt Sebastian brush past. The demon's hand briefly touched his shoulder, telling him to stay out of trouble.

May-Rin squinted and shied away from the dark shape in front of her. Sebastian put one ram horn of his staff under her chin and raised her head.

'How did you get here?' he whispered.

May-Rin made a small, whimpering sound. 'I was looking for Sebastian.'

'She bumped right into us,' said one of the basilisks. 'It's extraordinary, mylord. She's the first human in more than twelve centuries to withstand our petrifying gaze.'

'I guess that's because she's so extraordinarily far-sighted.' Sebastian turned away. 'Aleister. Keep her somewhere safe. I'll deal with her later.'

The viscount scratched his head. 'Safe? But - '

'Do I have to repeat myself?' asked Sebastian crossly.

'No, no. But - '

'Mylord? A word with you?' The voice that addressed Sebastian on his way back to Ciel felt like fog condensing on the inside of the listerner's skull. All of a sudden, Ciel found that he wanted nothing more than a blanket to pull over his head and a bed to curl up in. He wanted to cover his ears with his hands and squeeze his eyes shut. And maybe, very, very softly whisper for his butler to come and bring a light and stay by his side.

But Ciel had no blanket at his disposal, and no bed to hide in, so he stared at the roughly man-sized wisp of darkness at the foot of the steps.

Sebastian reached the throne and sat down, only now facing this new challenge.

'Mylord? Your court is wondering what fate you have designed for the humans in your company.'

'My court?,' Sebastian asked sardonically. 'Should I consider my court a waft of coal dust, lately?'

Someone chuckled. Some faces cracked smiles. But Ciel saw a lot of scepticism, mostly in the faces of magical creatures, and he sensed danger. He cast Sebastian a surreptitious glance and knew the demon well enough to tell that he was on the alert, too.

'It is not seemly for the Hawthorn Lord to surround himself with mortals,' the shapeless creature went on. It reached out tendrils of darkness, circling Ciel's face. 'So young...so easy to scare...his fear so tasty...'

'You're the bogeyman, who hid under Earl Phantomhive's bed only a few days ago,' said Sebastian coldly. 'The butler asked you to leave. What part of "Get lost or get lighted?" didn't you understand?'

There was something puzzled about the man-sized darkness's floating. The humming voice took on a note of 'How would you know?'

Sebastian put on a face of superiority. 'Omniscient I am not, yet much is known to me,' he recited.

'Oh, come on,' mumbled the bogeyman. 'You're not Mephistopheles.'

'I should hope so,' said Sebastian off-handedly. 'I'm not really good at producing doggerels.'

A gust of wind kindled the stack of wood that had been collected for the purpose of lighting a bonfire. It went up in an explosion of light, illuminating the clearing as if a shooting star had crashed in the midst of the gathering. Attendants, wordly and magical, looked up, looked at the sky, then decided that the lighting of the bonfire marked the beginning of the less official part of the festivities. The human maid was forgotten instantly, even by those watching and listening at the foot of the dais. Let the Hawthorn Lord amuse himself with a dozen of mortals, if the time for food and drink and music had come for his followers!

The bogeyman's scream of terror was lost among the cheers, as his form of wavering shadow dispelled in the sudden light.

'Never cross a butler with a penchant for pyrotechnics,' muttered Sebastian, absently petting the black cat that had made itself at home on his lap. He looked down. 'Oh.'

Ciel sighed, as the demon's eyes glazed over. The red-haired woman, Hesrabe's adversary, stood right at the foot of the dais. She was gazing intently at the cat and circling her forefinger in the air. The cat turned on Sebastian's lap, purring.

'You're a beauty,' whispered Sebastian. 'Your mistress has not forgotten how to repay me...'

'Are you saying that you turned Hesrabe out, because you knew, you'd get to cuddle a cat?'

But the cat had started to rub its head against Sebastian's face, and he was beyond words. Ciel snorted impatiently. 'I think I'll help the Viscount Druitt find a place for May-Rin.'

Obviously, there was no communication channel open between down-to-earth matters and cloud nine, so Ciel didn't even wait for a response. He felt, he'd gotten the hang of the rules of this game. Those creatures thrived on the fear of human beings. Maybe, some of them wouldn't refuse a small nibble of their victim's body or soul. But they would definitely savour the thrill of the hunt first. Ciel was not easily scared and he would refuse giving in to fear, and with that in mind and Sebastian around, it was safe for him to move around on his own.

The Viscount Druitt, on the other hand, had not moved very far. May-Rin was talking to him excitedly, telling him over and over again the story of her nightly adventure.

'If you're still trying to think of "somewhere safe" to take her,' said Ciel without introduction, 'the hell hound might be a good idea.'

Aleister looked at him in surprise. 'The hell hound?'

'Young master, is that you?' asked May-Rin. 'If you are, I don't recognise you with that mask on...'

'I am the Hawthorn Lord's ward,' said Ciel. 'No one's going to hurt you. Come on, now.'

He headed in the direction, where he'd last seen Pluto's white fur shining in the gloom. On the way, May-Rin filled him in on her story, too: After Ciel had told her to got back to work, she had watched Sebastian leave the premises. She had tailed him at safe distance, making use of her far-sighted eyes. Sometimes, he seemed to hear or sense her. But she had always seen the tiny movement that indicated that he was about to turn, and she had managed to evade detection. Then he'd entered the woods, and she got herself lost almost at the instant she followed him in. She had groped around, trying to find her way, when she hit on something that looked like big rock.

'But it wasn't a rock,' she explained to Ciel. 'It was some – kind of person, and another person, too, and they said, they'd take me to their lord, and this is where I am now, and – is that you, Pluto?,' she asked, sensing something large and white and four-legged in front of her.

Pluto happily licked her face, dousing her in reeking dog spittle.

'Stay with him,' Ciel said. 'He'll guard you.'

The werewolves gathered around May-Rin, sniffing.

'Nice doggies.' Timidly, she patted the large, heavy heads and toothy muzzles.

'You will not hurt her, understood?,' said Ciel. 'The demon wants her alive.'

One of the beasts bared its teeth. Its muzzle flattened and shrunk, forming hairy lips.

'You seem to think we're retarded,' it said. 'Boy, I am fluent in eight languages. Doctored in English literature at Oxford. Yes, I have another, two-legged life, and believe me, I know how to interpret the Hawthrone Lord's order to "keep off ".'

The pack laughed soundlessly at Ciel's baffled face. But May-Rin seemed at ease, surrounded by soft, furry bodies that invited her to lean back and rest for a while. A small werewolf, who seemed only a puppy, nibbled her ear. She smiled and patted its head.

'Take care of here.' Trying to regain as much dignity as possible, Ciel turned and left. The Viscount Druitt trudged beside him. In the youth's eyes was the feverish light of someone desperately trying to make some sense of what he'd seen and heard.

'The maid's story,' he finally said. 'Do you think, there is a connection between Earl Phantomhive's butler and our lord?'

Ciel laughed a little strained. 'Our lord? A butler? Don't let him hear that!'

'I don't think, he'll pay much attention.' Aleister stopped and pointed with his thumb. 'I've seen that look on a man's face before – albeit not when regarding a cat.'

Ciel found Sebastian surrounded by cats: big cats, small cats, kittens, with stripes and spots, short and long silken fur, in all shades of black, red, yellow, white blue and brown. They teemed and purred, besieging the throne and inviting its inhabitant to pet and stroke and cuddle to his heart's content. Everyone endowed with a feline familiar seemed to be sending it in, in order to please the Hawthorn Lord and subsequently profit from his generous mood.

'I wonder, I wonder,' murmured Ciel, 'if it's possible for a demon to develop a hangover from over-exposure to feline beauty?'

And if that was going to be the consequence of tonight's excesses, what would help alleviate the symptoms? Cat food? The thought of Sebastian spooning up smelly meat chunks and jelly brought a rare, thin smile on Ciel's lips.

'He could have all the ladies, those magical, bewitching ladies,' muttered Aleister. 'Yet, he settles for their pets.'

'The ladies? So that's what you're actually here for?'

'I have heard ... certain stories about this kind of ceremony,' Aleister admitted. 'I decided that I wanted to be at the heart of one. But - '

'But you weren't prepared for what you found lurking there,' Ciel completed the viscount's sentence.

'You're his ward. Who - what is he?'

'He's my - ' Ciel stopped and shrugged his shoulders. 'Sometimes he's my tutor.'

'I once met a private tutor at a party,' Aleister said thoughtfully. 'He was clad in black and there was definitely something strange about him. But his ward was the most delightful young lady, I ever met!'

'Oh no,' moaned Ciel, but the Viscount Druitt finally felt that he was back on familiar territory.

'She was like a little robin, shy and delicate, but her hair was pure silk and the grace of her moves stole my heart, as she danced like a nymph.' Aleister recited his praise with closed eyes and theatrical gestures, one hand on his heart, the other arm moving expansively. 'Her eyes shone like gems, deep like the ocean, blue like - '

'You didn't see her eyes,' muttered Ciel, who kept walking briskly. 'You saw only one eye. The other one nearly got you killed, when I called Sebastian through our contract.'

The viscount realised that he was about to be left behind and he hurried to catch up. Walking beside Ciel, he tried to catch a glimpse of the earl's face. 'You're about her size, no, maybe you're a trifle smaller, but – have you ever thought about wearing a corset?'

'Why would I do that?,' snapped Ciel.

'Or a dress, maybe? How could I have missed it, this wonderful resemblance? This night's confusion has veiled my eyes, but now I step through the haze: You might be my little lost robin's look-alike.' He resumed his passionate declamation. 'Imagine a chaste hue on thy cheek and long tresses, spun from gold and opal...'

Ciel marched on, hoping to slip away.

'Gruffy, mylord?,' asked the ashen haired girl, whose bramble whip had drawn Sebastian's blood.

Ciel looked up. 'Wha- ?'

She curtsied and tilted her head in the direction of the viscount. 'He's a scream. I wonder how he landed the honorable job of being the Hawthorn Lord's lackey.'

'Pulled some strings, I guess,' mumbled Ciel. 'His name is known in certain circles.'

'My name is Lidia.'

Ciel stared at her, trying to figure out her true intentions. 'Mine is a secret.'

'Do you want me to teach Aleister a lesson, Asecret?' Her sparkling grey eyes proved that she hadn't really misunderstood but was merely playing along.

'No, I - ' Ciel saw that the viscount had ended his recital and looked around for his company.

'Come on.' Lidia winked her eye at Ciel. 'Don't deny that you wouldn't object to seeing him a little flustered.'

Ciel sorted out the double negative. He was running out of time, the viscount had spotted him and was approaching. 'Well, no, I don't - '

'Agreed then.' With one swift movement, Lidia rearranged her hair and checked the fit of her dress.

'Wait. You're not going to hurt him?'

But Lidia was already strolling towards the viscount, touching her hair and, no doubt, smiling enchantingly. The viscount looked like a flock of robins had settled before him, arranging their red chests in the figure of a big heart.

'You know she's a fairy? One of the thirteenth kind?' said a voice beside Ciel. It belonged to a crimson shape.

'Grell Sutcliff!' Ciel whipped around. 'What are you doing here?'

Grell pushed up his glasses, trying to look dignified. 'I'd love to say I was here for the show and the party. But I'm on duty.'

'Duty?'

'This ceremony is always attended by one of the shinigami.' Grell looked in the direction of the dais, where Sebastian sat with three cats on his lap and another on his head and was dreamily hearing another case. 'Sebas-chan. Isn't he gorgeous?'

'You've seen through our masquerade?'

'But of course, little earl,' said Grell. 'And it's not easy to keep the knowledge to myself. When all I want to do is sing my Sebas-chan's praise.' He produced his death scythes – two rather small scissors – and moved them like castanets. 'Yes! I am the troubadour at the steps of his throne.'

'More like his jester,' muttered Ciel. He was interrupted by a loud, croaking scream. Aleister! He'd forgotten about the viscount!

The youth was gone. Lidia pulled up a strap of her dress and carried a frog in her other hand. She returned to Ciel, with the dazed amphibian on her palm.

'Mylord, the target has been adequately flustered' she said, smiling mischivously.

The frog croaked and seemed shocked by its own voice.

Grell recoiled. 'Yeech! Get that slimy toad away!'

The frog croaked as if in protest. Its long tongue shot out, and it stared at it cross-eyed, then seemed to have trouble getting the lengthy appendage back into its mouth.

Ciel swallowed. 'Is that the Viscou- Aleister?'

'A fairy kiss made him, a maiden's kiss will re-make him.' Lidia thrust the frog at him more vigourously. 'Here. He's yours now.'

'What will I do with a frog? Return him to his real shape!'

'I can't. You'll have to find a maiden, who's willing to kiss him.'

'Don't look at me,' said Grell quickly. 'I'm not even a girl.'

'Oh, really?, asked Ciel. 'Then how about giving a sample of your excellent dramatic talent and pretend you were?'

Lidia frowned. 'You agreed on teaching him a lesson, now you take him.'

The transformed viscount threw a croaking fit.

'I didn't agree on anything.'

'Yes, you did. How else could I've worked the magic? It takes a mortal's wish to cast the spell.' She smiled. 'It's a shame, the power you mortals have over our kind and arts. Almost nothing can be done without at least one of you wishing, and incantating, and sacrificing, and signing of your own, free will.'

'But I didn't – oh, never mind! This travesty has to end!' Dropping the amphibian viscount to the ground, Ciel stormed off. He pushed through the crowd, trying not to think of how much he hated to be touched by other people. He kept his head down and shoved with his elbows, focussing on his anger and the things he was going to tell Sebastian, once he reached the dais. He didn't like the Viscount Druitt, who was a criminal. But he was an aristocratic criminal, nevertheless, and you didn't just go around and turn members of Britain's high society into frogs!

Message for the demon section – get your crazies under control. Now!

Ciel snapped out of it, when something landed in front of his feet and rolled towards him.

It was a head.

One of the dandies, Ciel had seen earlier, flaunting a stylish hair-cut, painted blue eyes and marble skin. Only the nasty hiss, he gave on coming to stop at Ciel's feet, destroyed the picture. He had needle-shaped fangs, better for puncturing than for tearing and ripping. But his life was fading quickly. The hissing stopped and the eyes dulled.

Ciel looked up and saw Sebastian with a sword at the foot of the dais. The blade was dripping blood. He handed it back to a man, who looked like a samurai from ancient Japan. Then, the demon stooped and lifted another severed head by its hair. He turned it, so it faced in the direction of the head at Ciel's feet. 'There, zombie. Does that solve your issue, who of you is the true undead?'

'I – I guess so,' stuttered the head, who was missing one eye and whose nose was coming apart with rot. 'Thank you, mylord.'

'My pleasure. Fire bugs - burn the vampire.' Sebastian dropped the zombie's head back on the body. The zombie's hand grappled for it. The head looked utterly unhappy, when it realised that the solution of one issue had created another.

A number of small red insects swarmed over the head at Ciel's feet and started to carry it off.

'Sprinkle some blood on the ashes.' Sebastian winked over his shoulder at the zombie. 'We'd want to give the vampire a chance for bringing his own species' advantages to bear, right? Of course, he'll revive with his head attached.'

The bystanders laughed. The zombie's head screamed with rage. His decapitated body rose as if drawn by strings and flew at the demon. Sebastian rested his weight on his left foot, pivoted and kicked the undead square in the chest. Cats scuttled off in every direction, scared by the sudden movement. People dove out of way of the hideous projectile. Ciel's eyes widened. The next moment, he felt grabbed and lifted. By the time the zombie's headless corpse crashed, Ciel was on the steps of the dais, cradled safely to the demon's chest.

It was too close for comfort, but it certainly beat the alternative. Craning his neck, Ciel saw the zombie's body trash and struggle to get up, right in the spot where he'd been a moment before.

Sebastian seemed put out. 'Burn the zombie, too,' he commanded. 'Mix the ashes. Let's see, how they sort this one out.' He walked to the throne and put Ciel down on the armrest. There was genuine concern in his eyes. 'I trust you are unharmed, young master?'

'I'm okay. Are you?'

'Why do you ask?'

'Ordering them to mix the ashes. That was perfidious.'

'It would be perfidious to have the ashes scattered,' argued the demon. 'It would also be a gross sight, which I wouldn't want to have creeping around in our woods. There is a chance that your aunt will be back for another hunting trip.'

'Somehow it sounds different, when you're wearing a tailsuit.' Ciel felt his irritation calm down and sighed. 'When you explained to me your role in this – game, you referred to honour and responsibility. You forgot to mention the law of the jungle. That′s the true reason, why the seat of honour is always taken by a demon, isn′t it? No one can rival your strength.'

'Now, that is probably one of the few things around here that make sense.' Sebastian had retrieved his chalice.

'I haven't failed to notice the madness of the rest,' said Ciel. 'People are getting turned into – things by creatures that shouldn't even exist by law of nature and logic. Others are accused for crimes that were not even committed. A demon, passing verdicts? Darkness Incarnate, supposed to welcome the sun? Come on. This court is a travesty and your function - ' He stopped, seeing the demon's eyes widen and his body tensing. He almost dropped his chalice. 'That smell!'

'Smell?' Ciel followed his staring gaze and became aware of a commotion in the crowd. Two figures pushed through the throng and came to stand in front of the Hawthorn Lord′s throne. One of them wore a large straw hat, the other one a white chef′s outfit.

'Sebastian!' called Bard, waving his hand wildly. 'So that′s where you′ve been!'

'Is that you, mylord?' yelled Finny, jumping up and down. 'Ciel? Hey, Ciel!'

Ciel was too flabbergasted to reply. He turned to the demon, hoping for advice.

But Darkness Incarnate had put its left hand to its head, suggesting that, right now, the only thing lurking in its heart was the exasperated wish to cry, cry, and maybe rip off some random heads.

For the first time tonight Ciel almost took his point.

But he still had enough presence of mind to call the servants up to the dais, before they shouted out their story for everyone to hear.


Finny and Bard had troubling news to share: Phantomhive manor had been 'under attack', as Bard put it.

'Invaded by strange, hairy things with long spears,' was Finny's description.

'They went on about being hungry and needing meat,' said Bard. 'We tried to man the windows, but there were too few of us.'

'You were three,' Ciel reasoned. 'Three, trying to man about onehundred-and-twenty windows.'

'Onehundred-and forty-eight,' said Sebastian, who stopped downing his strange drink just long enough to be specific about this detail. The Viscount Druitt wasn't available for refills, but Lidia had readily taken up the slack for him.

Bard looked confused. 'But how would you know, if you're not Sebastian?'

Ciel cast the demon a mean look, 'Omniscient am I not...,' he quoted.

'No need to resort to magic,' snarled the demon fiercely, 'All it takes to figure out the number of those damned windows is the ability to count!'

'And a certain obsessive determination of taking stock of things,' muttered Ciel. 'But since things are threatening to get out of hands - please feel free to contribute some determination and ideas.'

Sebastian straigthened up some. 'Firstly, Bard, Finny - you two join May-Rin in Pluto's custody. Lidia, you show them the way.'

'Yes, mylord,' said Lidia.

'No,' said Ciel quickly.

'Yes,' said Sebastian. 'I want to have a word with my young ma- with my ward. Alone.'


The werewolves wondered, whether their lord's warning applied to those humans as well. They sat on their hind legs and conferred in their own snarling language. May-Rin, Finny and Bard discussed in theirs.

'We left them behind, Finny,' said Bard, stroking Pluto's neck. 'We left Tanaka and Sebastian behind.'

'Sebastian -,' said May-Rin, but Finny interrupted her, saying, 'Sebastian is so clever. I'm sure, he'll be okay.'

'No, he won't', insisted Bard. 'You've seen those things. And we haven't seen Sebastian since the assault.'

'We haven't seen him for some time before the assault, either.'

'Yes. That's because, I - '

Bard got up. 'I've made my decision. I'll go back to Phantomhive. I'll save Sebastian or die trying.'

'No, Bard.' Finny was scared.

Bard made an important face, 'It's what I have to do.'

'No,' said May-Rin. 'Will you listen to me? It's only Tanaka, who - '

'Wish me luck!' said Bard, jumping onto Pluto's back and kicking him with his heels. 'Off we go, Pluto.'

Pluto sat down and scratched his ear.

'A-a-all right,' agreed Bard, hanging on with both hands. 'Needs must if the devil drives. Are you done? Good. Now, move.'

Pluto yawned and lay down.


As soon as the servant had left, Sebastian let his gaze wander over the assembly. People had settled down at the camp fires. They were talking and singing. Some were telling fortunes, using cards or dice or tiny bones. Others were performing more complex rituals and discussing secrets of the occult arts. Some couples were looking for a little privacy in the undergrowth. The night was taking its course.

But not for the Hawthorn Lord.

'Are you leaving?' asked Ciel, when the demon got up and stretched.

'If the hog-goblins have taken over Phantomhive, I′ll have to go and show them the door.' Sebastian turned to Ciel, red eyes gleaming. 'Young master? This ceremony must not be disturbed. May I ask you to take my place, while I′m gone?'

Ciel's jaw actually dropped a little. 'Are you crazy? Who′s going to confuse us?'

'I can create the illusion. Make them think they see me, when they look at you.'

'So you can sneak off and get Tanaka? And save my house?'

'That′s the idea, yes.' Sebastian whispered urgently. 'Young master, you have watched me all evening. And there are only a few trials left, if any. No one expects justice or even fairness. Don′t hesitate to break some bones. They expect nothing less of a demon. The celebration is about to start. People usually know how to party. Sit back and enjoy.'

Ciel thought about his mansion being devastated by a wild horde of hog-goblins. 'Considering the alternative, I think I can manage.'

'I know you can, young master. Now, sit on my lap.'

'What?'

'We don′t want them to watch me leave, do we?' Sliding back on his seat, Sebastian reached out and pulled Ciel onto his lap.

Now, this was way too close for comfort. Ciel sat like frozen, staring ahead and not daring to move. The demon's soft laughter sounded in his ear. 'This might take some time. I highly recommend you continue breathing, young master.'

'I highly recommend that you get on with business,' Ciel grated. He felt Sebastian lean back, still shaking with suppressed laughter. People were looking at them. Obviously, they found it quite normal that the demon's ward should sit on his master's lap. Ciel kept his eyes on the crowd, trying to spot the perfect moment when no one was watching. But of course, it was the demon, who reacted first, when the unlikely conincidence finally occurred. The gentle pressure of his clasped hands around Ciel's midriff vanished first. Then, Ciel felt wood beneath his thighs and wood behind his back, and he realised that he was alone on the chair. The Hawthorn Lord's staff slipped. Ciel grabbed it, before it clattered to the ground.

A pair of young witches, who strolled past, became attentive to his sudden move. Unable to think of something else to do, Ciel waved at them. They waved back and giggled and hurried off.

It seemed to work. He could fool them -

Fifty meters away, Pluto suddenly got up, sniffed the air and set off in long, powerful leaps. He was followed by Finny and May-Rin, but not very far.

Bard clung to his fur, screaming.

+++End of Chapter 2+++