I reread the last novel over and over and I say that all of Near's team could see Ryuk when Light came in the door, and because of it, they feared death even knowing their backs were covered by the fake, real fake notebook. Just my own opinion, feel free to hate this just as much as the first one-shot in this two-parter.
Games!
Here she was again, tied up in a game of chance between two little boys who should never have been given the power they attempted to control.
Stupid Shinigami!
Stupid Genii!
She closed her eyes. Mental screams vibrated through her statuesque demeanor, reverberating throughout her mind but finding no outlet, no verbalization. The situation called for immediate silence, and patience; and the goddamn games this boy played with their lives! There really were no words; the timer was already set in motion.
Forty seconds and counting…
Pardon me for the evil I have done this day.
The supplication came unbidden to her. They were dredging the depths of Hell for this boy, but no prayer goes unanswered, no one was too far gone for cries of mercy. Or at least, that's what he had assured her. He would know, now wouldn't he? Kira had not shown him any.
She shocked even herself with the bitterness, hatefulness of that thought.
Mello! Fuck! What was the rest? He would have wanted her to remember; he had of course, taught her this stupid last ditch exercise in calm. If she even could fake it at this point.
Twenty-five seconds and counting…
She didn't want to die. She really, really didn't want to die.
And if I have done any good, deign to accept it. Watch over me while I take my rest (fucking nineteen seconds) and deliver me from danger. And everyone else here, she tacked on optimistically so… she wasn't willing to give up anyone else to this false god dictating her life, their lives. Leading them to willingly be pawned for a sick, twisted ideal of justice.
Fuck! What was the rest? Mello…
Ten seconds… the final countdown.
Oh Mello! She couldn't help her distress. Sweat beads pooled on her forehead, irrationality encroaching upon the pretense calm, it demanded she finish out the prayer. As if she could actually provide protection to herself and those around her with its completion.
May Thy grace be always with me!
Who was she calling out to? A fool of a boy who couldn't even keep his head games limited to bringing about justice?! He had to go and play god himself! Sacrificing himself, his friends, anything that would allow him to win.
Fuck him! The words echoed in the void of her mind, remembering another time when she had been on the receiving end of those words, even as she realized she was still standing. They were all still alive and Near had begun the final act.
Breathe. Just breathe.
Too many lives, directly connected to hers deleted for the sake of the cause and here she was again, faced with the cold reality of these little boys' games. War games of a sort, heads of state had fallen in their wake. Not that that had mattered either. She would stand here, she would participate, calmly face danger like she was expendable.
She could not wait for the day when she walked out of headquarters, free to be… just be.
When had it become a crime to believe in the goodness of humanity? What was so wrong with cherishing life? Kira's cold, threatening sword of justice sliced through every hope, every dream of a good life, a better world.
Her voice, joined with Near's gave Mello his final moment in the spotlight. He had indeed surpassed his beloved mentor, even if only because his absence would be mourned by those still living. She would light a candle for him when, if they made it out of this yellow box of doom alive. And the odds were definitely looking good, if the confessions flowing freely from Yagami's mouth were any indication.
So she was a little smug as they walked out of the warehouse.
The intensity of surprise, everyone else evidently still felt in finding out what a fucking child Kira had turned out to be, had not fazed her. She was used to dealing with little boys and their tantrums. The only other person, as glib as she was being, was Near, and well she couldn't be certain that was good for her psyche. Her runt of a boss was a stoic, unfeeling bastard when all was said and done and his lack of concern for his team most definitely deserved earmarking for later scrutiny.
Near had not said a word and Rester and Gevanni had stared when she refused to get in the car.
"No, I'll meet you back at headquarters."
"But how?" Gevanni, always the gentleman, asked, concerned that she indeed had lost a bit of her sanity during the raid.
"I've got my own ride," she answered, knowing that Near knew she had another of Mello's bikes and had not stopped walking even when his men had. "Go on. Near's waiting."
They had walked over to where Near stood by the car, twirling his hair round and round his index finger. Gevanni still argued she shouldn't be left on her own, forgetting she had commandeered much of the actual physical fight against Kira.
"She'll be fine. Shut-it Stephen and get in the car," Rester forced out through gritted teeth, his weariness showing through his usual steely visage.
Gevanni opened the car door and slid into the back seat, beckoning Near to follow him. Near ignored the gesture, and instead shut the door before Gevanni could question him.
"No," he said.
His finger stilled with hair still twined about it, but his face didn't match the childish pose. "Halle, if you would not mind, I would like to ride with you," he requested.
"No, I…," she hesitated, unwilling to reveal she had not planned on going directly back to the headquarters. Her plans involved a burnt-to-the-ground church, a candle and another prayer, this time without the "fuck you" attached to it. She owed Mello that at least. This victory had not been just theirs.
"I was right to pair you with him. He needed you," Near quietly said. "You owe me this."
She wanted to argue, especially when Near had worded his request as a boast, but Rester effectively cut off anything she would have said by his quick assent and nod in her direction. A non-verbal command that she obey or else.
The else seemed preferable when Halle realized Near would have to ride shotgun on the motorcycle. She couldn't risk the slight boy falling off and he most certainly would, the way she planned on recklessly abandoning herself to the ride.
"Get on," she said hatefully. "No, in front," she explained when surprised grey eyes questioned her directions. "You'll fall off without me to shield you."
Near left her alone, even when she was insufferably rude and roughly pushed his back into the bars to make room for herself on the bike. She disliked feeling his small frame curl instinctually against her and how he knew to wrap his arms around her waist without being told.
The thought that Mello had held him this way before on a bike briefly flitted through her brain before she dismissed it as demented. Those two boys might have enjoyed warring mentally, but they had never touched each other in the way it would have mattered.
"I rode with him this way once." Near's confession shocked her.
So much for feminine instincts.
"And?" she asked, letting her surprise get the better of her.
"You know well enough how persuasive Mello can be." The mocking explanation was deliberately spoken to shut them both off from each other again, but she wasn't done goading him just yet.
"It cannot be comfortable for you; you cannot see anything this way," she taunted. "Your back's to everything. You have to rely on the driver for protection."
"How is that different than anything else in my life?" Near responded testily. "And I always see where I am going."
"I want to see the church," Near continued as she revved up the engine in disgust over his verbal tenacity. He certainly had no problem chatting it up when he needed to.
They both ignored each other in favor of their thoughts, but she did catch him scrutinizing her out of the corner of her eye just as they rolled into the charred lot. He quickly looked away and around, and like her, with an openly pained expression.
"This… this is all that's left?" he asked, bewildered as if he had not believed the pictures of the crime scene. Or he had chosen not to think about it until afterwards, until success was certain. Like she had. Her heart realized his was just as hurt, when a small hand slipped into hers and guided them both to the center of the destruction.
They stood in silence, hand-in-hand, while the wind chilled them to their bones. Forever linked as two spectators, unafraid to relive the crimes against humanity witnessed on this hallowed ground and seeking redemption for their friend who had died here.
"I brought a candle." Near broke the silence as he pulled the candle from his pocket. His intuitive nature was too freaky sometimes, and she gave him a look that let him know exactly what she had been thinking.
He shrugged and held the candle up for her to light. They sheltered the flames with their hands, still standing side-by-side, and whispered the same prayer.
"So he taught you it too," Near said, interrupting her.
She looked down at his irritated expression and smiled. He was jealous.
"Was my expertise not what you desired?" she mockingly questioned.
He hesitated; she could see he was torn between the need to arrogantly reveal how forward thinking he was and his evident displeasure in having to think about what she and Mello actually did when together. She wasn't above leering down at him when he finally met her gaze.
He had the good grace to blush, and she felt herself pitying him.
"He deserved better," she said kindly, letting him off the hook and herself. This conversation wasn't healthy for either of them.
"You deserved better," he said quietly, the closest to an apology Near was ever going to get.
She nearly buckled under the shock, but instead blew out her candle. He did the same. They stood again in anguished silence, neither knowing what to say to comfort each other. As the darkness slipped over them, canvassing them in shadows, she found herself repeating the prayer over and over.
"Halle," Near's whine threw her off the maniac track the prayer had taken, "He'll be fine, wherever he is." He tugged on her arm, heading back towards the bike.
The time for goodbye was over. Near was right, but as she turned to follow him, she couldn't help but hear Mello's sarcastic voice in her head.
Fucking know-it-all!
