Chapter One: Tears for Dean

I sat about ten feet away from the whole Sam was digging, my knees drawn up to my chin, my arms forming a protective shield around myself. My eyes stared straight ahead, unblinking, and I didn't even flinch as he dropped the shovel beside me.

"Will you help me with his…" he trailed off, his voice hitching.

I stood up beside him, although we were twins you couldn't tell by the height difference as I only came up to his chest, and where he was a brunette I was blonde. I guess I had gotten those genes from my mother.

Nodding slightly I walked over to the sheet covered body that had once contained my brother's soul, but now it rested in hell, and only god knows what's happening to him down there.

I bent down and grabbed his legs while Sam took his arms and we lowered him down slowly into the hole where he could finally rest his weary head.

The two of us stood there at the edge of the grave and out of the corner of my eye I saw that Sam's knuckles had turned white from the harshness of the grip he had on the shovel and I reached my own over and placed it atop of his. Judging by his reaction the deed had been reassuring and he started to push the clumps of dirt back into the hole and over the body. I stepped backwards and started to turn around to head back to the car and as I studied it the events of tonight all came back in a rush causing me to stop dead in my tracks.

I was scared, to put it simply. Dad was dead, Dean was gone and now it was just Sammy and I, and what were we supposed to do now? Fight off everything demonic by ourselves, because I'm not sure if we can do this by ourselves, Dad or Dean were always there to help us, to guide us…to protect us, now it was just us two and we have to look out for each other. How can we do this by ourselves, we're the freaks, we're the reason our lives have been dedicated to destroying anything supernatural.

"Oh god," I muttered, my hands covering my face and from behind me I heard weeping. I turned my head to listen better and the sound of sobbing mixed with moans reached my ears and this time I turned around fully. Sam stood there hunched over the shovel and from where I stood I could see that his shoulders were shaking as he tried to keep his grief contained.

So that I couldn't hear.

I walked back over, trying not to scare him and once in range of his body I placed a hand on his back and the shaking paused for a moment and then they wouldn't stop. His chest heaved up and down as he hyperventilated and I walked around to face him, pushing the shovel to the ground.

I had never seen something so painful than Sam's face at that second, he looked like something was tearing him from the inside, so confused and unsure that the tears broke the restraint I had on them and started to spill across my cheeks.

"Oh Sammy," I whispered as my hands held his face, my thumbs rubbing the streaks away. His hands gripped mine and then they fell to my shoulders before he crushed my body to his and at that moment I could feel every emotion that he was feeling. The bond that we had allowed this to happen for the both of us at physical contact, and only if the emotions were powerful, and the ones we were both feeling were. The pain, the anger and the confusion were compressed into this hard ball that we shared between us, and the vulnerability only broke us down even more.

Together we cried, and we held each other. We mourned as one over the loss we both have just suffered, we wept for our lives, our family but most of all…

We cried for Dean.


Two months later we sat at Bobby's going over some lore on some kind of creature that he had gotten a lead on. I leaned over Bobby's shoulder as we muttered about the spirit, on ways to kill it and what was its business in the small town. I looked up and Sam was sitting on the couch, looking out a window as the sun slowly dipped behind the horizon.

I glanced to my side and Bobby and I shared a look as I called out to my brother, "Sam, what do you think?"

His head turned to face the two of us and he appeared as though his mind had been on a completely different subject, but nowadays his mind was permanently on another subject and I was starting to loose patients with him.

"Think about what?"

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes, "The Banshee Bobby and I have been talking about for the past hour and a half. Hello? Earth to Sam, wake up!"

"Oh, right right…The Banshee sounds…"

"Sounds what, Sam?" I interrupted him, "you weren't even listening were you?"

He gave me a sheepish look, "Uh…no, not really."

I growled and threw my hands up to the ceiling, "Of course not, you never listen to anything anymore. You've got too much going on up there," I snapped, tapping my own head hard, "that you never pay attention to anything outside of the walls of your head."

He glared at me and opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to the chase, "Now if you had of been listening, you would have heard my opinion on this matter."

"Oh yeah? And what would that be?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"I think that it might be good for us if we go hunt this thing down…"

"Well we can't," Sam snapped, "in case you've forgotten we have something else on the go."

I sighed and walked around Bobby's desk, "All I'm saying is that if we take this job, maybe it will help get this…one off of our minds and then maybe we might run into something that could help us, or find another means of help that we could try."

Sam was silent for a while, and the length of the pause was giving me hope that maybe he was contemplating the job, and then my hopes were shot down like a bird from the sky, "No."

I faltered, "What do you mean "no"?"

"I don't want to do this job," he said, standing up, "I don't want to get sidetracked, I'm going to find a way to bring him back Dani, and I'm not giving up until I do."

"Come on Sammy; just think about this for a moment. What if when we're hunting we come across someone who can help us, or a new séance, or what if we find another summoning spell, huh?"

"What ifs. They're all what ifs, Dani," he said tiredly, standing and hoisting his bag onto this shoulder.

I growled and took a few threatening steps forward, I could feel another one of our fights coming, "Sam. It's been two months, two months of nothing. We've had no leads, no clues, and no help. Nothing has worked, so why are you still so determined?"

"There has to be something out there."

"There's nothing out there, we've searched through everything, we've tried all we know that summons or brings back spirits, Sam. It's time to give up and move on."

He gave me a look and shrugged a shoulder, "you can give up if you want, because that's just typical Danielle, always the one to give up first, weren't you? Do whatever you want, I'm going to continue looking, and I'll just know that you never cared."

I stared at his back and then quickly dismissing his insults as hidden anger I tried to convince him to give up one last time, "Dean's gone Sam, he's dead and he's not coming back."

Sam stopped dead in his tracks and then wheeled around to stomp forwards in my direction, he then stood inches from me, "he may be dead but he won't be for long because I'm going to bring him back…if it's the last thing I do."

Becoming angry, I glared at him and as I spoke my voice rose bit by bit, "We've tried everything Sam. We've tried making deals, finding holes in his contract, hunting down Lilith. NOTHING HAS WORKED SAM, nothing. He's dead, Sam. DEAN'S DEAD, he's GONE and he's NEVER COMING BACK. So just give up on your determination to bring him back, give up and get over-."

I never got a chance to finish because my head snapped to the side and I stumbled a little, I didn't even notice the tears through the stinging pain in my cheek. All was silent as I turned my head slowly to look back at Sam, my hand rubbing my cheek.

I sniffed before I spoke and a tear fell down my cheek and across my fingers, "Okay, you can continue searching or doing what ever it is that you are planning to do, but from now on you're doing it on your own," I spoke as I looked into Sam's all to familiar wounded puppy look and as I brushed his arm while passing him I heard his voice whisper my name but I was already at the door.

"I can't do this anymore."

And I was gone.

Author's Note: Alright, so I was pretty sure that I wasn't going to get any reviews on the Prologue...I mean it is the Prologue right, not the actual story. So now that the real plot has been set into motion, I`m REALLY hoping I get a few reviews, it helps me alot in writing and it gives me motivation to continue.

Thanks, xoxo

LoveIsAlways