A/N: This chapter is definitely more in depth and descriptive. Yes, I fixed the centre problem on chapter one. That even bugged me. D:
So, pretty much, watch out for language in this chapter. Nothing worse than "bastard" - and we can probably all guess who calls who such.
For anyone who hasn't noticed, this is my take on how Ziva's recovery with Tony should be, rather than what the episodes portray it as. It also starts after Power Down, but then again, Child's Play in in two days. Can't say I'm too excited for that episode, after the disappointment that Power Down was!
Anyway, I don't own Michael Rivkin, Ziva, Tony, or NCIS but I do own my arms.
Writing this has made me neglect Stained Glass, Limitations, and my famous one-shots. :( Anyway, you want to read... so read away, but then you must review for me!
Sunlight streamed through the open window and fell on the sleeping pair. The young agent pressed up against her friend, and, professionally, superior - his arms wrapped around her waist with a contented smile on his face. Quite suddenly, Ziva stirred, and opened her eyes to the world. Almost immediately she knew something was wrong. The breathing, hot on her ears, coming from behind her. The hand on her waist. She knew both all too well. Had they--?
"I'm sorry, Michael," her voice cracked. How could she be laying beside the man who so easily killed the love of her life? But, how could she be sure Michael Rivkin had been everything for her anyway? His betrayal left scars, yes; the knowledge that he had played her hurt. But beside it all, she loved him so much - too much. That was one obstacle she'd have to get over to rebuild ties with her obviously caring partner.
It was hard, not only being the proclaimed newbie, but trying to force herself to smile for them. Sure, the cases were exhilarating and she loved every moment, but how could she speak to Tony so easily? And why was he sleeping so comfortably behind her?
Tony sniffled and opened his eyes when Ziva's body moved a little bit and he put a small smile on his face, surprised that she hadn't broken his bones while he slept. For moments, he just breathed in the smell of her hair, before whispering, "Morning, Zeee-vah. How're-"
He didn't get to finish his sentence. Suddenly, she was on her feet, fire in her eyes. "You killed him! You… you bastard! You killed him and then you rescued me to make you look good. You idiot! You jealous bastard!"
The sudden rage startled him, and Tony barely had any time to react as she broke down in front of him, succumbing to the rage that had been bubbling within. Her left foot aimed for his head, but he rolled just in time, catching her around the waist and pulling her to him. Ziva's fists hit his chest with full force and he tried his best not to cringe with each new blow. His strong arms did not leave her even as she finally stopped attacking him.
"Ziva, look at me," he spoke quietly. "Ziva, look at me! Michael Rivkin was the past. You're safe now. You're in DC, with me, in your new apartment. Mine's flooded, that's why I'm here. You're not in Tel Aviv, trying to shoot me again, and you're not with Salim. That's all over."
She startled at his words. This was the kind of Tony DiNozzo she knew when they talked carefully about Jeanne. Had she not been the jealous lover back then? He had so many chances… but he had only taken the bait when she had moved on. Now her life was still ruined, whether she was an agent who wore a fake smile for her partner every day.
"No, it is not," she spat through clenched teeth. "Tony, you killed him! I may have forgotten who I could trust. I can trust you, I know that now, but I doubt I can forgive you. Can you not agree with such logic?"
"You're right. You shouldn't forgive me," he said simply. "But you are coming with me. Duck said you might have some PTSD, but I don't think that's it. Come on, sweet cheeks, out of bed!"
With one smooth gesture, he flipped her onto her feet on the ground. She tottered unsteadily but he held on firmly, careful not to let go. Ziva… Ziva, of all people. His crazy assassin, his beloved ninja. She'd just screamed at him and, in simple terms. broken down. Again.
"I can't cook," he offered, rummaging through her fridge. "I can try, but you might not want burned eggs á la DiNozzo!"
Ziva rolled her eyes, trying to catch her breath and focus on the present. Michael was a thing of the past, he was right. Tony was now. They had so much potential. A young man, obviously caring, and her former best friend. Yet, she could not shake off the rage.
"If you go on like this you will not have eggs of any kind," she said, smiling pleasantly. "I'm not hungry."
"You have to eat, Ziva, you just spent-"
"No!" she cried out. "No, Tony, I am capable of caring for myself."
"Fine, you're right, you're a big girl. But we really need to talk before Gibbs makes us. You know him - throw us to the wolves and then watch us fight our way out. But in this case, I'm not sure if I'd be the wolf or the person. Probably both."
"Say what you want to say," Ziva prompted, but gave him no more words.
"Look, I know you're angry over Michael. I killed him… but I can't say I'm sorry, Ziva. I'm sorry for what this did to you. I'm sorry about Salim. I'm sorry Gibbs picked me over you. But I can't be sorry that that man is dead," his voice was so dead serious that it took quite a while for her to register what he'd just said.
"You-" her eyes flashed and she drew her gun from her belt. It hardly took her any time to prepare to shoot him. Then it hit her. This was Tony. He was right. She had to accept defeat. "-you're right. But you could at least be sorry! Jesus, Tony, what kind of man are you? You shoot someone because you're a jealous man with a wayward love. I could hardly believe Ducky when he described that of me, but I can see it in you! You're still jealous, of every man I go near! Even Dunham!"
Tony stood there, staring at her as she rambled on. It was hard to choose over kissing her angrily, just to get her to quiet, or standing there and taking it. His ninja was definitely not the same girl he knew less than a year ago. Finally, she made the decision for him, closing the gap between them and just falling against him.
She couldn't cry.
She was Mossad.
And yet, she wasn't hitting the man she had hated so much. She was biting back her angry tears, as she had always done and had been trained to. The last time she'd been like this, she'd cried, yes. For Gibbs.
"Tony…" her voice was muffled by his shirt and she withdrew her face to look up at him. It was evident how much her words had hurt, his eyes alternating between care, worry and visible hurt. She closed her own eyes to avoid looking into the face of the mans he once trusted so much.
Did she still trust him?
Of course. They were partners, and Salim had let her know that she should never doubt Tony again. Not purposely, of course, for he had no knowledge.
She was unsure of what prompted the next movement. Her eyes opened again and she stared into his brilliant, but sad, green eyes; he in return carefully watched her chocolate brown ones. And slowly, he bent his head to kiss her on the cheek, carefully noting the salty taste of tears. Tony let his lips linger for a few seconds, pulling her closer if possible.
Desperately, she yearned to move away, afraid of hurting Michael's memory, but at the same time she was compelled to stay there. Her eyes dropped to his shoulders and she relished the gentle, reassuring kiss he so easily had given her. "Ziva, look at me."
It was hard not to, but she managed, avoiding his gaze as his lips left her soft skin. "Ziva, please, before I Gibbs-smack you."
These words brought a smile to her face. She rolled her eyes at him and looked directly into his eyes, waiting for him to do something. But he didn't. Not for a while.
But there it was, suddenly. He leaned forward again, and she anticipated the gentle kiss on the cheek, but he seemed to have a different course. He slowly placed his lips on hers and her eyes grew wide. She tore out of his grip before her partner could realize what was happening.
"Tony, no! We cannot do this! I loved Michael, and months with Salim does not change the fact that you killed him!"
