I'd tell you just what you mean to me,

Tell you these simple truths,

Desperate Pleas

"Susan, dear, you have a letter." Her father handed her the cream colored envelope.

"Thank you, Dad!" Susan eagerly ripped open the letter from her brother, Peter. She ran up the stairs and flopped down on her bed to read it.

Susan,

Did you get my previous letter? I haven't heard from you in quite a while. Is everything alright? You've always been here for me and sometimes I forget to tell you how much you mean to me. You're very special. Aslan was right when he called you the Gentle Queen.

Susan kept reading. She was battling the urge to tear up the letter even though it was from Peter. Narnia was a hole in her heart. She just wanted to bury her memories of it and pretend it didn't exist so she wouldn't have to fight the fact that she could never go back. It was too painful. Susan turned back to the letter.

Have Lucy and Edmund written much to you? They say they are getting along fine with Eustace. He must have changed. He was such a little beast when we met him.

Susan smiled. Peter was right. Eustace always was a nasty little boy. Somewhat like Edmund…except Edmund had changed. Aslan and Narnia had done wonderful things for him. Susan silently chided herself. There I go about Narnia again. I must be careful what I am thinking. She rose to her feet and moved over to the table, carrying the letter with her. She picked up her pen and began to write back.

Dear Peter,

Sorry I have not written. Mum and Dad are fine. I'm doing pretty well. Peter, I have to tell you something important. It's about Narnia. I try but it's so hard to believe that Aslan and Narnia exist. Sometimes I just can't see what you and Lucy and Edmund see. I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm too old to just believe every childish story I'm told. I'm not even sure if faith and trust exist in this world. Help, Peter! I'm lost! I don't know where to turn, what to believe. Every way I turn someone tries to tell me something different. I don't want to let you down but it seems the more I try the harder it gets. Everything around me is changing; the world, my friends, even my family. It makes it harder to believe, harder to know that Narnia is real, harder to understand why I believe in an unheard of world full of talking animals, ruled by a talking Lion. I know Aslan is good and only wants the best for us but I can't help but wonder if I should have stayed behind. I can't forget about our time there but sometimes I think it would be easier. Every time you write, every time I talk to you, every time I dream, Narnia is always there no matter how hard I try not to think about it.

"Oh, Susan," Peter whispered to himself. "You have to keep believing." Peter rummaged through his drawer trying to find an unused sheet of paper. He picked up his pen and began writing a response.

Dear Susan,

I

The bell rang. Peter scrambled to his feet, sighed and hurried off to another class. As he rushed down the hall, Susan's desperate plea echoed in his head.

"Help, Peter! I'm lost!"


"Edmund," Lucy scolded. "You're supposed to be helping me with dinner."

"What?" Edmund looked up from the blank sheet of paper in front of him. "Sorry, Lu," he apologized. "I-I just don't know what to say to Susan."

"Tell her how much we miss her," Lucy suggested.

"Or," Eustace grinned cheekily. "Tell her to quit going out with strangers." Edmund glared at his cousin.

"Like I haven't already thought of that," he mumbled. He hated knowing that his sister, HIS SISTER, was being escorted all over the place by other boys other than himself or Peter.

"Seriously though, it's not funny," Lucy turned back to the stove. "Oh I wish she'd just hurry up and come home!" The young girl stomped her foot impatiently. Edmund looked down at the piece of paper again.

Dear Su,

He began writing.

We miss you a lot. Can't you come home any sooner? Lucy and Eustace say hello.

Impatiently waiting,

K. Ed

Susan laughed at the closing to her brother's letter. Edmund had a good but quiet sense of humor. She folded the letter and lay down on her bed. Within moments she was asleep.

"Aslan?" Lucy whispered. "It's Aslan! It's Aslan, over there!" she exclaimed, turning towards us. They looked towards where she was pointing but there was nothing.

"Don't you see?" she turned back around. "He's right-" Her face fell. "-there."

"Do you see him now?" asked Trumpkin.

"I'm not crazy," Lucy said seriously. "He was there. He wanted us to follow him."

"Look," Trumpkin interjected. "I'm not about to jump off a cliff after someone who doesn't exist."

Edmund finally spoke his thoughts. "The last time I didn't believe Lucy, I ended up looking pretty stupid," he admitted. The dream faded and new one took its place.

"Lucy? Are you awake?" whispered Susan.

"Hmm?" Lucy answered sleepily. Susan rolled over towards her.

"Why do you think I didn't see Aslan?" she asked.

"You believe me?" Lucy asked astonished.

"Well, we got across the gorge," Susan admitted.

"I don't know," Lucy sat up. "Maybe you…didn't really want to?"

"You always knew we would be coming back didn't you?" Susan asked.

"I hoped so," Lucy nodded. Susan sighed and lay back down. She stared up at the stars.

"I finally just got used to the idea of being in England."

"But you have to be here…aren't you?" Lucy questioned. Susan didn't say anything for a moment.

"While it last," she finally whispered.

Susan stared up at the ceiling. "While it last," she whispered to herself. It hadn't lasted long. A week or so and then they were back. Back to the dreary world of school and ordinary children who have never fought battles or dreamed of seeing Aslan. They had never gazed on his face. Or known his boundless love. Susan sighed. Tomorrow she would write to Peter again.