A/N: Re-uploaded to my backup account. (originally posted on my other account, -Moon'sRain-)

Endlessly Dreaming:

Chapter 2: Possibilities

I try to put on a face
And cover my heart
But I'm needing it now
So bad
I don't know
How I feel
Maybe I'm mad
Or maybe I'm proud
Can't find the truth
Can't speak my mind
Don't know what I'll say
I'm just thinking out loud

Thinking Out Loud – Lesley Roy

The day after I arrived, Blake insisted that he take me shopping despite the fact that I had informed him that the clothes in my closet fit me just fine. Earlier that morning when I had journeyed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I heard him chatting on the phone with someone. Now, phones were yet another thing I don't touch. The second I picked up the receiver and held it to my ear, every previous conversation that had taken place on it found their way directly through the ear piece and right into my head. Which tended to give me a headache as well as inform me of things that I really did not want to hear.

As Blake talked, I realized he was asking someone over to accompany us on our trip to the mall. The old me would have been jubilantly jumping up and down in absolute enthrallment, but now I merely cringed at the thought of a mall or shopping in general. Malls meant people, and people meant clustered, noisy thoughts that would surely deafen me for good. I was not looking forward this trip one bit.

After he hung up, I ventured downstairs, still donning my pj's, and joined my uncle at the table. "So, Forks actually has a mall?" I asked curiously, despite myself.

Blake set down his coffee mug and smirked. "Ah, no. We're going to Port Angeles. Forks doesn't have the pleasantry of shopping malls." He grinned at me and I pulled a gallon of milk out of the fridge. As I poured myself a cup and popped two pieces of bread into the toaster, I waited for him to tell me about our company.

His mind revolved around a pretty red headed lady with a soft smile and a kind heart. The memory Blake had of her was one of her in hospital scrubs, tending to children. She was a pediatrician, I realized. So this is Hannah. I knew I was right. The woman Blake mentioned to me yesterday … the mother with the daughter that had given me the clothes …

The Hannah in Blake's mind glanced at him with dark green eyes and smiled tenderly, filling him with delight. On instant, I realized that he had deep feelings for her and I directly backtracked out of his thoughts, blushing. I always felt bad when I intruded on someone's personal and very private thoughts, especially when they had no idea what I was doing.

"So, Ashlynn, I hope you don't mind but the friend I told you about yesterday will be joining us on our little trip, along with her daughter, is that alright? She's the one with the girl that gave you the clothes…? I figured it would be a good idea since I have next to no idea about clothes and … girl things." He turned to glance at me when I didn't answer and I sipped my milk, thinking to myself. He hoped that I would agree so that he could spend more time with Hannah, and I could go off with her daughter, who was about my age. I was beginning to think badly of my uncle for coveting a woman with a daughter when I realized that Hannah was long divorced, and then my condescendence dissolved.

"Sounds like fun," I allowed behind my milk glass. My smile was wry.

He exhaled softly in relief. "Great. They should be here soon." He placed his mug down on a coaster and regarded my outfit. "You should get ready, hon."

I nodded, forcing a smile. I tried to look excited and pleased as I headed back upstairs. His thoughts told me that he believed my façade. Even though he noticed that I wasn't particularly happy, he believed that I was looking forward to this. After all, how excited can a girl get after she just lost her family?

Ouch. I cringed to myself and shot out of his head, placing my hand on my bedroom wall to relive my father's teenage days instead as I changed into a comfortable outfit. I pulled on my white shoes, a pair of slims, and a simple black T-shirt. I glanced in the mirror and wondered if I should apply any makeup to liven my eyes up some, but then I decided against it. I didn't particularly like to have makeup on when I was too distraught with emotions. It tended to get smeared on days like this. Maybe I should invest in some waterproof makeup…

The low doorbell chime sounded throughout the house and I heard the chair Blake had been sitting in scrape roughly across the wood flooring as he headed excitedly toward the door. "I'll get it!" He called out and I couldn't help but smile to myself.

Even though I was upstairs, I could distinctly hear the heavy downpour of rain echoing through the now open door. This helped my sour mood quite a bit. I was also suddenly elated that I didn't bother with makeup. Rain, although messy and bone-chilling at times, especially here, had its benefits. The thoughts of others were somewhat muddled and seemingly dampened by the water. It was harder to get a person's "signal" in rain, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Along with rain, I heard laughter and indistinct chatter. Sighing softly, I exited my room and headed downstairs to meet out newcomers. I heard an eminent sigh of relief and the lady that I recognized as Hannah came into view. She looked around and her eyes fell on me. She smiled, walking toward me. She was alight with joy and content thoughts, as well as eagerness to meet me.

"You must be Ashlynn." She extended her hand toward me, beaming like a flashlight. Despite her calm demeanor, I didn't dare touch her hand. I stared at it like it was a snake that would bite me. Soon, she dropped her hand, seeming to dismiss this without too much drama. "I've heard so much about you and it's good to finally meet you."

I nodded politely and she turned. A girl about my age came into view, walking forward slowly. She offered a tentative smile, but didn't appear to be as eager as her mother. She had short, straight, jet-black hair with dark eyes and a tall figure. Her T-shirt said, 'Go Spartans!' in red and grey.

Wow, I can't believe this girl survived that plane crash. She doesn't seem like anything special; does she even know that she's been on the news for the past week? I wonder how she did it … she doesn't even look banged up! Oh, wait until Kayla hears about this. The entire school's been buzzing about this since we heard the rumor about her coming to school with us. She lost her family though .. how sad… I'm sure glad I'm not her.

I cleared my throat, trying to keep my grin plastered on my face. The corner of my mouth twitched.

Hannah pulled the girl forward and draped her arm over her shoulder. "Ashlynn, this is my daughter Amber. You two should get along great." Amber waved once, discreetly looking me up and down.

"Hi," I said tentatively. My voice sounded stuck. Blake gave me an odd look but remained silent.

She smiled in return, seemingly oblivious to the change of my voice. "So, you're going to be going to Forks High, huh?" Amber desperately wanted to have some facts to prove the rumors she'd been hearing –and starting-.

I gulped. Amber was almost exactly like how I used to be. Smart, ignorant, self-centered, curious …

"Yep," I said, nodding slowly as I pursed my lips thoughtfully, taking a tentative peek further in her thoughts.

In her head, she was squealing with exuberant joy. Apparently, she regarded me as some kind of celebrity and wanted me on her arm to show off when we went to school. 'Look! I'm friends with the girl on the news! See?' is what she wanted to say to her schoolmates. Overall, Amber wasn't a bad person… She just had a different way of thinking than a normal person. She was a cheerleader and captain of the volleyball team. She liked showing off her catches.

Most of my friends back in California were just like her. I was just like her. But that was the past now. It's a wonder how much death can affect your personality.

Blake's bright eyes sparkled like freshly polished diamonds. He was happy to see anyone he knew, but there was something different about this woman. She held a special place in his heart and would be forever loyal to her no matter what. I realized that when Blake cared for something, he gave it his entire, undivided heart to it. He never half-assed anything, which was a characteristic I adored about my uncle. I just hoped that it wouldn't get him hurt one day.

I knew in my heart that I wasn't doing this for myself, or for these two strangers. I was doing this for my uncle. His affection for this Hannah person was enough to make anyone melt like butter, and who was I to deny any time he got to spend with her? Even if I have to spend a day with Amber, I would do it. Just because I didn't want Blake, who had welcomed me into his home with open arms, no questions asked, to feel any kind of pain or loneliness. Feeling it for myself on a daily basis was enough, I didn't need my uncle to feel it as well. Besides, I'd have to hear it every day as well through his thoughts.

Moments later, we all piled into Hannah's car –Blake had offered that we take his car, but Hannah wasn't having it- and were heading off to Port Angeles. Blake and Hannah chatted in the front seat and Amber and I sat next to each other awkwardly in he back.

I wonder if she has a boyfriend … as pretty as she is, I bet she does. Why wouldn't she? I would if I were her…

Crap. I tried harder to block out all thoughts and ended up giving myself a migraine. I wanted to be out of this car and into the rain so that I could have at least a moment or two of unperturbed silence to myself.

To hide the frustrated look on my face, I turned to stare out the window. The rush of green steadily lessened and the flow of traffic became greater. As we hit the city, I groaned internally. The more thoughts there were, the harder it was for me to block them out. Even with the help of the rain. Outside, people milled about the streets, into shops and cars and the like. Unable to help it, I slipped into most of their minds and captured thoughts of theirs.

Cringing, I clamped my eyes shut and held my breath, waiting for everything to dull down. My head pounded and I resisted the urge to cover my ears.

Suddenly, Amber tapped my leg and for a split second I was drawn into her head. I saw myself through her eyes and realized that my eyes were dark and sunken in. Definitely not a very pretty sight. Her image of me was tinged with a sudden rush of guilt and empathy.

I drew out, feeling breathless, like I always did when I fully entered someone's brain. My head swam.

"Hey, tell me what Cali was like?" She seemed just as eager for a subject change as I was for a distraction.

"It's not really all it lives up to be, but it has it benefits. Sandy beaches, hot boys, parties every day of the week… packed streets, busy everything. Mostly … it's just noisy … which is why I like it here." I offered a smile.

Amber's eyes had lit up the moment I had said hot boys and suddenly I felt like a gossiping girl again, only I had nothing to gossip about. Not anymore, anyway.

"What did you do at your school? Were you involved in anything? Band, sports, what?" I had to hand it to her; she was remaining very calm compared to her soaring blend of emotions.

I cringed, wishing we would have avoided that subject. "Well … I was a cheerleader I guess. It was fun… while it lasted," I allowed.

Amber stayed quiet, seeming to swallow my words. "You could join again, you know. I'm on the team, and so is my friend Kayla. It'll be fun! We'll teach you the drills…"

I scowled tightly, turning toward the window once again. "Id… rather not join. It's not the same for me anymore," I whispered and turned away from her.

Nothing more was said between us and we reached the mall within fifteen minutes and exited the car. Surprisingly, it wasn't raining here, which effectively disappointed me and darkened my mood once again. I spotted dark clouds overhead, but they appeared to be clearing up. Turning back, I noticed that everyone was walking ahead and I jogged to catch up, my hair swishing behind me. Amber grinned at me over her shoulder, hurrying me up.

"Come on!" She shouted between giggles and I couldn't help but smile back at her. As we headed toward the entrance, I realized that all of us looked like a family. Blake and Hannah actually did look like a couple and I guess Amber and I could pass as … sisters. Maybe long lost sisters, but sisters nonetheless. I wasn't sure I wanted another "sister".

The automatic doors hissed open and I recoiled at the booming, echoing noises of voices, footsteps, and finally, racing, incoherent thoughts. We stepped over the threshold and my eyebrows furrowed in concentration to keep my mind silent. Luckily enough, Amber was distracting me by pointing excitedly to several stores and boutiques, filling me in on the fashions and styles, as well as what the cliques at Forks High wore. She informed me that most of the popular Barbie-like girls were clueless on their sense of fashion, but everyone followed their example. Except Amber and her friend Kayla of course.

The more she talked, the more I gradually started to like Amber. She had a selfish personality, but through her thoughts I could tell she cared for others. In this case, through her current thoughts, she could see the loneliness in my eyes and she wanted to distract me from my pain through gossip about clothing, boys, music; girl things. I tried to stay out of her head. Even though I was a clairvoyant, I had no right peeping around in there. Even if she was thinking about me.

It was hard to sustain giggling while with her. She held up pairs of shirts, shorts, pants, and accessories to my body, constantly muttering little things here and there like I was here own personal Barbie doll. After hanging several pairs of clothing that I had agreed to try on over her arm, she looked around the area on her tiptoes. Looking satisfied that no one was around, she leaned toward me.

"Hey your uncle's got a thing for my mom. You know what that means, right?"

I could hear it loud and clear in her head, but I decided to play along with a wide smile that wasn't entirely fake. The teen hidden deep inside me yearned to chat about this very subject with someone and now I finally had my chance. "No. What?"

She grinned diabolically. "If they get married, we become … cousins?" Or something like that? Wouldn't that be cool?"

I smiled softly at her, fingering the lining of a lacy pair of pants. "That would be cool I guess. You think she likes him like he does her?" I whispered, raising a questioning eyebrow. I knew that I was able to tell for myself, but I didn't have the guts to creep around Hannah's head yet. I didn't want to be disappointed or hurt for Blake if she didn't feel the same way.

She pressed her finger contemplatively to her bottom lip. "It depends. My mom doesn't really like to jump into things but she's known Blake for quite a while now. They've been working together for almost a year."

I had a sudden thought. "How old is Ha—your mom?"

Amber's eyes sparkled mischievously. "She had me when she was sixteen so … that makes her thirty-two I guess."

My eyebrows shot up at this revelation. "That's a nine year age difference … Blake's only twenty-three."

Amber giggled, eyeing a price tag on a pair of leather pants. "Well, my mom always did have a thing for younger men." She glanced at me out of the corner of her eyes and we both broke into fits of raucous laughter.

I ended up with four bags of clothing and two boxes of shoes. One pair for school, and the other for formal occasions, which I was positive would be few. I was pretty content with the new clothes, but I was worried about my closet. The rail was going to bust under the weight of all this new stuff.

"It was so nice to meet you Ashlynn," Hannah told me with a warm smile as I exited her car.

"You too," I told her with a wave. The back window of her car rolled down and Amber waved exuberantly at me. "Bye Ash! See you at school, ok?"

I smiled. I was relieved that Amber no longer saw me as a trophy, but as a friend. I waved at her as her car drove off.

"Come on, let's get out of this rain," Blake said to me on his way toward the door. I bit my bottom lip, feeling an unfamiliar ache in my cheeks from smiling so much. I looked up at the sky and closed my eyes, hoping that my parents were looking down on me proudly.

Nodding to myself, I followed Blake back inside the warmth of his house –no, our house.

~ x