Chapter 2: What Should Have Been
A/N Wow thanks everyone for all the awesome reviews, favorites and story alerts, it totally made my morning. So I am not sure where the story is going. I have a vague outline but I honestly wasn't expecting so many people to review and not only like it but ask for more. So chapter 2 is going to be taking place in the first half of Better off Alone part 2.I will finish the episode in chapter three if you guys like this chapter. I did take the Clare and Eli scenes from this episode. And while I used the dialogue from their four scenes together (pretty much word for word sometimes that is how big of a nerd I am lol) I did because they still fit my story.
Disclaimer: Once again I own nothing.
Eli and Clare stumbled into their math class a few minutes later laughing hysterically. Her stomach was hurting and tears sliding down her cheeks but it felt so good to laugh. It had started when they had tried to walk through the door way side by side. Needless to say they got stuck again. Unwillingly he removed his arm from around her shoulder just long enough for them to make it into the classroom separately. However when she was making her way to her seat she felt his strong hand resting on the small of her back, but he wasn't guiding her. It felt more like he didn't trust her yet to walk on her own. As her laugher died down, she came to the conclusion he may have been right. She was feeling light headed and a bit dizzy, though she had no intention of telling him. She didn't need to see that ' I was right' smirk of his so early in the morning.
As he took his seat in the desk next to her, she felt her cheeks heat up once more. Clare didn't know how long he would continue to have this effect on her but she hoped it wouldn't be to long. She hated not having full control over herself. Their eyes locked and she could have sworn he knew exactly what kind of effect he was having on her, blush or no blush. She didn't know how long their staring contest could have gone, because at that moment the teacher came in.
50 minutes later the notebook where her notes were suppose to be, had been filled with random doodles. The teacher was going over the same thing for the 10th time and her mind was wandering. Now she was watching Eli as she tried and failed to not think about her parents. He was spinning his pen in his hand like a drummer. The movement seemed to put him in an almost hypnotic state. Then every once and a while he would feel her staring and look up, letting his long bangs fall in front of his hazel eyes. She would give him a half hearted smile, trying to conceal what she was really thinking about. He would give her a skeptical look and go back to what he was doing. By the fifth time she knew she wasn't fooling him.
When the bell rang a short while later Clare bolted from class and Eli not knowing any other way to avoid the questions he would ask or her reaction to them. But he was too good and caught up to her as she was passing an empty art classroom.
Pushing her inside he closed the door and blocked it with his own body. " Ok Clare what is going on? You looked like someone just handed you your first F. Are things getting worse with your parents?" His eyes were soft but held her gaze with a strength that took her breath away.
"Yes…. No….. I don't know!" She almost screamed, her hands weaved into her short wavy hair as she looked down in utter frustration.
She heard Eli take a deep breath before he spoke in a tone that seemed calm but she could hear the worry under it all. " Ok. Breath Clare. Now stop, rewind and play."
Removing her hands from her hair she walked a few feet over to a desk and sat on top of it. Swinging her legs out she watched as they created a V then swung back. Her voice was almost back to normal when she spoke again. "According to my mom everything is fine between her and my dad but anyone can see that it's not. And I hate that she thinks she can just lie to me when I can see what is going on every time I walk into the house. "
Still unsure if she would run, he kept his position by the door as he asked " Is it really that bad? Do you think they are getting divorced?"
Her light blue eyes widened in pure shock and terror. That wasn't an option was it? Her parents wouldn't need to go that far right? With as much conviction as she could muster she replied "Divorced, my parents would never get divorced. My moms just sad cause my dad is always in a bad mood".
Feeling that Clare wasn't going to try and escape any longer, Eli walked over to where she was. Not paying attention to personal space but rather just the need to comfort her ( however odd that thought might seem) he stopped only when his body was in between her swinging legs. Placing his hands on her shoulders he locked eyes with her once more and asked "Well have you told them how you feel?"
Her breath hitched in her throat. How was it that just that simple touch could contain so much comfort for her. " I have tried, I mean I really have. But they don't want to talk and I don't know how many more times I can ask them too."
He hated seeing Clare in such a vulnerable position. She was strong but this issue was weighting way to much on her. All the sadness, hurt and confusion in her eyes made him see she needed to vent once and for all. Letting a smile cross his face he couldn't believe he didn't think of it sooner. "You could write how you feel in that letter for English class. Kill two birds with one stone."
" Do you really think that is a good idea Eli. I mean, this is my life we are talking about. How am I suppose to just write that down and share it with the class?" Her voice started to shake again at the thought of her whole English class seeing something so close to her heart.
Letting his hands move they went around her waist and he pulled her close, " You can do it and you'll feel great after you get it all out."
Realizing he probably did have a point, all Clare could do was nod her head. Looping her hands around his neck she played with his hair at the back of his neck. Smiling she slowly pulled his face down to meet hers. Instinctively he pulled her body to his lifting her up so their lips would meet in the middle. Closing her eyes in anticipation Clare was rudely pulled out of the moment when the bell rang signaling the end of the passing period. Hating the bell more then ever at that moment Eli pulled Clare off the desk.
" Clare… how about we ditch next period. You have a free period after that anyway." His eyebrows went up as his lopsided smirk appeared on his face.
Clare could feel his thumbs drawing little circles of encouragement on her hips. Unhooking her fingers from around his neck she gives his right upper arm a quick playful hit. " Eli we may be late for class already but I am not skipping again, especially for no reason."
" Ouch, that hurt." He pouted with a fake whine. "Fine, fine. I just get you to do it another time." Once again the smirk was on his face as he pulled back from her. " Come on I guess we better go to class before I do something to delay us even more." Laughing she interlaced her fingers with his and they made their way to their classes.
Sitting in front of her laptop once again Clare couldn't help but smile. It had taken most of her free period, a lot of deleting and some tears but she had done it. The letter to her parents about their fighting was done,… and ended up being some of her best writing if she did say so herself. Though she wasn't sure if she could completely trust her own opinion. Was it more personal and emotional, yes. In the end she would have to see what Eli and Ms. Dawes thought. Printing it off Clare shut down her computer and headed back to her locker. She had 10 minutes until English class and was so ready to see Eli again but she had to grab the rest of her stuff first.
Approaching her locker she saw Alli sitting in front of her own. She had her face in her hands. When Clare got closer she could hear Alli was crying. Sitting down next to her best friend Clare spoke in a quiet voice so she wouldn't scare her, " Alli… Alli what's wrong."
Allis head slowly lifted and her tearful eyes found Clares'." Oh hey Clare. Nothings wrong. I just have a lot on my mind nothing for you to worry about."Clare thought she heard Alli add something at the end the sounded like "Not that you would ever care" but Allis voice had dropped so quiet by the end of her sentence Clare couldn't be sure. She wiped away the last of her tears then continued with a bit of an angry edge, " So why aren't you with Eli. Shouldn't you be off somewhere making out, writing or listening to puck rock with him in his hearse?"
Clare was so taken aback by not only what Alli had said but her attitude, that she didn't answer right away. When she finally got her mind wrapped around it, Clare was mad at what Alli was insinuating….. Actually she wasn't just mad she was down right pissed off. "What is wrong with you? What is that even suppose to mean? Just because he is my boyfriend doesn't mean that I have to around him all the time. Unlike some people I don't drop everything and everyone for a boy." Getting up Clare went to open her locker. She was so mad that it took her two times to enter the combo correctly. When she finally did open it Alli spoke once more.
" Oh right you could never be that kind of girl." Alli spat out sarcastically. " God forbid the great Clare Edwards ever have a weakness or one bad behavior. Come on Clare admit it you have been ignoring me ever since you started even just crushing on that emo- hearse driving freak!"
Clare started seeing red as she got the things she needed from her locker. Slamming it shut when she was done she noticed Alli was standing almost toe to toe with her now.
" One, I have NOT been ignoring you. If I can recall you started spending less time with me as soon as you laid eyes on just because I cant spend ever waking minute on your pity problems with a guy who isn't even your boyfriend you get all mad. Two I have a life outside of you and your guy drama that includes school and yes my ACTUAL boyfriend. A man that has been there for me when I needed someone. Some to help me with REAL problems." With that Clare went on her way to English leaving Alli half shell shocked from the outburst, and completely livid.
When Clare finally got to her English class, she had been able to calm down but the fight had taken a lot out of her. She knew she probably should not have gone off on Alli that much, but Clare figured she had to stand up to her friend at sometime why couldn't it be now. With that thought she almost wanted to laugh. Maybe hanging around Eli was having a positive effect on her. Sitting on her desk she pulled out the letter and looked it over once more while she waited for him.
A few minutes later, she was still looking over the letter when a pair of hands with black nails hovered above it. Smiling she looked up, and was shocked when Eli's face was mere inches from hers. She didn't get much time to react though, his hands cupped her chin and he gave her one of the sweetest, slowest, most passionate kisses she had ever experience. After he pulled away she was totally speechless. So she said the only thing she could think of "Wow."
Eli once again had his arrogant half smirk in place laughing he asked "Did I really just silence the great Clare Edwards."
Smiling back she felt the need to defend herself laughing she replied " Silenced. More like caught me off guard. Your going to spoil me with all this attention." With that she handed him her letter.
Looking down his eyes grew and he looked back at her. " Wow you actually finished it?"
" Yep. I did. Tell me what you think." Her voice waiver with nerve.
The next few minutes were the longest of Clares life. Her eyes never left Elis face as he read the letter. She tried to decipher what he thoughts from his face but his expression never gave anyway a thing. Finally after what seemed like hours he spoke, ""Wow how did it feel to write this?"
Clare was slightly confused by the question but answered with the first thing that came to mind "Good, really good. Its everything I wanted to say. Thanks for making me to do this."
Eli was just about to reply when their teacher walked into the room, so he handed the page back to Clare and they both took their seats.
Clare saw the teachers eyes lock onto her and Eli before she said, "Miss. Edwards, Mr. Goldworthy. Its nice of you to join us today. Actually I'm excited to hear your excuses for skipping last class. Let me guess violent food poisoning. "
Without missing a beat Clare replied, " Actually, we were both working on our assignments ." Eli turned in his seat and smiled at her and she could tell he knew he was becoming a "bad" influence on her.
"Original, but its not going to save you from detention. Now I would like to hear those assignments. Miss. Edwards why don't you go first." Ms. Dawes continued.
Clare didn't even have time to be mad at the fact they both had detention. She was only panicking at the fact that she had to read the letter out loud. To a room full of her peers. So taking a deep breath she stood up and walked to the front of her class.
" We need to talk, is a line that every kid dreads. But you know what's worse?Waiting for it. Every minute. Of every hour. Of every day. Because I know it's coming. The reason why you're fighting all the time. And I know I won't like the answer. But whatever you tell me cant be worse then the waiting. So please don't make me wait any longer…" I had to stop reading as the lump in my throat became to big to go on. " There's more."
"No that's say you Eli" Ms. Dawes lets me stop and she was so grateful, then Eli answered her question.
"I think it deserves a larger audience. Like at the student show case tomorrow." He had this look on his face like he wanted Clare to fight back. However she didn't get a chance because Ms. Dawes replied first,
"That's a fantastic idea. Clare?" Well she may have been asking, but Clare knew she really couldn't say no so instead she asked,
"Well its kind of personal, isn't it. I mean is that something that should be shared with so many strangers."
" Yea but all great art is, personal. And this is head and shoulders above your last work. I am signing you up after class." Her teacher shot back so fast she almost wanted to laugh.
When she passed Elis chair she hissed "My moms going to be at the showcase."
As Clare sat down he rotated in his chair to face her, ""Which means she will be forced to listen to you. Isn't this what you wanted?"
She was still mad at him but maybe he right. Yea it was personal but maybe in a bigger setting she could get through the letter without feeling bad or stopping because of her mom is staring at her. She was still nervous but she could atleast try, right?
Soon class was over and unlike earlier that day when she had bolted from the room to get away from Elis questions she waited for him. Together they walked out of class and to her locker.
As they walked Eli pulled out a stack of from his bag. Smiling he handed them over to Clare.
"What are these for?" Clare asked
Smiling Eli replied as he pulled her into his side by her waist, " These are the 30 Seconds to Mars as well as some other bands I thought you would like. Remember you said you would listen to them last night."
Last night? Oh last night when they were hanging out on the hood of his car, right. Had that only been less then 24 hours ago. It seemed like months. A huge smile spread across Clares face as she was reminded of the night before.
When they got to Clares locker Alli was already at hers. The smile that Clare had had disappeared in a second. Ignoring the girl next to her Clare opened her locker and slide in the .
Noticing the fact that Clare wasn't paying any attention to Alli, Eli had to ask, " Clare, did you and Alli have a fight or something? I mean this morning you are best friends and giggling and now you two wont even look at each other."
For the first time Clare shot a look over to Alli. She was finishing up at her locker and Clare waited until Alli had left before answering, " It isn't anything big Eli. We had a fight, she was being a brat and I told her off and now she is pissed."
" Well are you two going to make up?" He asked running his fingers up and down her back as some kind of comfort. He didn't want Clare to lose Alli, he hadn't known either girl that long but he knew they were close and he didn't want Clare to be sad.
Sighing Clare closed her locker and looked back at Eli. She saw how worried he really was and it made her heart melt, she wondered why he only showed her his soft side. " I don't know. Maybe but I guess time well tell. Hey I gotta go but I'll see you in detention." Clare finished with a frown on her face.
" Ok I'll see you then." Eli gave her a quick kiss before leaving for his next class.
Detention. There was one place Clare never thought she would end up. The rules were simple no eating, drinking, talking, or having any fun of any kind. The first 10 minutes were enough to drive her crazy. It was only her, Eli and two others in detention that day. Clare had never felt more out of her element in her life. Then the teacher ( Mr. Tryon) watching over them left to "go make a few calls" and all bets were off. The second the door closed behind him the room changed.
" Clare… Clare." Eli called from the desk next to her.
" What Eli. We aren't suppose to be talking. I don't want to get into anymore trouble." Clare whispered for fear of the teacher coming back in and hearing her.
" Relax. Mr. Tryon isn't coming back until five minutes before detention is over." Eli tried to comfort her.
" What are you talking about Eli?" Clare answered trying to keep her voice low even with the growing curiosity she was feeling.
" Every detention he stays long enough so that if Principle Simpson comes in to check he is here, he is. Then he leaves and goes to the teachers lounge to watch T.V. He comes back when there is about five minutes left to dismiss us." Eli explained
After a moment of shock Clares' jaw dropped, "WHAT!" she almost screamed.
The one sided smirk was back on Elis' face and he laughed at Clares reaction. " Yep. This will be the easiest hour and a hour of your life." Then he reached into his back pack and grabbed a soda and his itouch.
For whatever reason, Clare smiled and started laughing. Here she thought that detention was going to be a living hell and now she was going to get to spend an entire hour with Eli. Getting up Clare stepped across the isle and sat on Elis desk and smiled down at him.
"Wow feeling daring are we?" He asked as he watched a blush creep onto her cheeks as she realized what she had just done. Trying to jump off Clare was stopped arm one of Elis arms pushed against her lap. When she gave him a question look, he held up the itouch and said " If you sit there we can both lean into the headphones and not have to stretch."The rest of detention was spent listening to Elis itouch on shuffle and talking. Clare even found some songs she loved.
An hour and a half later the two were making their way over to Elis hearse to go home.
" What so what was that last song we were listening to?" Clare asked as she slide into the passenger seat.
" Drive from Incumbus. I put their c.d in the stack I gave you so you can listen to more of their stuff when you get home." He said as he started the car and drove out of the parking lot.
"Thanks." Clare replied slightly distracted as she stared at the cell phone.
Noticing the sudden change in Clare personality, Eli looked over at her before asking " Clare, what are you looking at?"
" Nothing, just hoping I missed a call." Her voice was quiet.
" Oh don't give me that. You thought Alli would call didn't you." He stated, he know Clare couldn't give up on Alli, they had been through a lot and Clare was just to caring.
" No. I mean I may have hoped but this fight was bigger then anything before. Besides Alli is the one who needs to apologize. I just finally said things I had been holding in." Clare defeated herself, letting her voice raise.
" Ok ok.." Eli tried to calm her down, as he parked in front of Clares house, " I won't try and tell you, you should or shouldn't be friends. I just don't want you dealing with anymore stress right now."
Smiling over at him, she reached out and grabbed his left hand in hers. " I know you mean well, and I don't want to be fighting with her but she is such a drama queen. But thanks." She leaned over and gave him a kiss goodbye. As she tried to pull away his hands came up and held her face to his. Her hands went up and covered his as the kiss intensified. It was a slow kiss the same kind he used when he was trying to comfort her. Falling into his body more Clare felt like her whole body was on fire. Reluctantly she pulled away needing to breath. With a goofy smile on her face she whispered a good bye and tried not to laugh when she saw his eyes seemed glazed over. It was good to know she had a big effect on him too. Getting out of the car she headed for her front door when Eli called for her throw the open passager window.
" I'll pick you up tomorrow morning." His smirk was back.
" Ok. Sure." Clare smiled back. Turning back around she didn't thing anything could ruin her good mood. That was until she walked into her home and could hear her parents fighting again. Wanting to scream Clare ran up to her room and slammed her door shut. Rummaging around her backpack she found the Eli had lent her and smile atleast she drown them out on.
