Some things to consider...
-Still slash. Don't like? Don't read. I think it's cute.
-Sirius wasn't modeled after our 'good friend' Jax, I swear. Think….think Gojyo from Saiyuki. With black hair. Without the scythe and chain thing. Because Sirius with a scythe is enough to give us all nightmares.
-Remus' love of Astronomy is modeled after my Astronomy teacher who, though happily married and happily sixty, would still enjoy this. Well, maybe just Remus' musings. I'm fairly sure he's not yet hit raving-slashy-fangirl-status.
-Madame Rosmerta's young at this point, so she's Miss Rosmerta.
-Notice how (canon) Rosmerta talks about James, Sirius, and Peter, but not Remus? Hence, no Remmy-poo at the Three Broomsticks.
-That blue haze that Sirius acquires? No resemblance whatsoever to an overdose of Viagra, I swear.
-I know I stole the "Kill Sooner Rather Than Later" list from someone. I just have no idea who.
-Still don't own it. Who'da thunk?
Today of all days, The Three Broomsticks was positively clogged with students who were wet, cold, and horribly sick of the English weather. The Marauders, however, were well used to the hustle and bustle of Hogsmeade, and six years of practice elbowing their way through crowds in The Three Broomsticks assured they would always have their prime table.
It also didn't hurt that Sirius and James had spent the last three years flirting with Miss Rosmerta, the voluptuous young daughter of the owner.
Located some ten yards from the bar, 'their' table was secluded while still in full view, allowing both a soundproof place to plan pranks and a perfect alibi should one such prank ever go amiss. Remus never joined them here, especially near the full moon. He always said that the close proximity of so many people made him jumpy, and the mere smell of alcohol gave him a headache.
"I still say we need to drag Moony in here once in a while," said James, gesturing with a mug of Butterbeer. "It's not good for him to always be alone in that bookshop without us."
Peter raised an eyebrow at him, eyeing the rain outside with bitter dislike. "We could always join him…."
Sirius waved to Miss Rosmerta, signaling her for another round of drinks. "Peter, how many times do I have to tell you? If Moony can be allergic to people, I can be allergic to books. I'm not going in there unless some sort of dire emergency occurs. Like, you know, a dragon and a swarm of dementors attacking the rest of Hogsmeade." He looked thoughtful. "And it'd have to be a really large swarm of dementors. Maybe with a few giants. Then I'd consider it." James didn't think this was strictly true – the entire debacle had come around in second year when Remus had refused to come into the Three Broomsticks with them, and Sirius, in childish retaliation, had refused to accompany Remus into his most-frequented shop. So by now it wasn't a matter of actual dislike so much as an upholding of tradition.
Peter muttered something that sounded like, "Hopeless…" as Miss Rosmerta made her way over to their table.
James noted with a certain amount of approval that she'd changed into a much shorter skirt and a much lower top since they'd arrived. He smirked, reaching into his bag. "Hey Siri, I think it's your turn to earn our keep."
Sirius nodded, undid another button on his shirt, flicked at a few stray bangs, and slapped a rougish grin on his face. "I'm on it, mate," he whispered, sliding out from the side of his chair.
As Sirius confidently strode up to Miss Rosmerta and positively insisted that he carry the tray of drinks for such a lovely lady, James pulled the small potion bottle out of his bag. He exchanged a wide grin with Peter, whacking the bottle against the table to remove the cork as Sirius' back was turned.
Sirius levitated the tray of drinks to their table with his wand, ignoring the glasses as soon as they hit the wooden surface. Miss Rosmerta started to head off towards the bar again, blushing about whatever Sirius had last said, before Padfoot leapt across the distance between them, grabbing her waist and pulling her close to him.
"Now, now, Miss. You know you're not allowed to leave ol' Sirius standing here without a hug, a kiss, or," the remaining two Marauders rolled their eyes in tandem as they saw Sirius come dangerously close to her ear with his open mouth, "numerous sexual favors, don't you?" He grinned as she giggled and protested weakly. "And since you so rudely tried to run away from me just now," he sighed dramatically and paused, "I suppose I'll just have to pick which one it'll be."
Seizing his chance as Sirius was distracted, James grabbed his friend's mug and dumped the potion straight in. Grabbing Peter's straw ("Hey!"), he quickly stirred it to dispel the purple cloud that had bloomed when the liquids mixed. Thanks to the wonders of magical potions, the Butterbeer quickly turned back to its original color.
Sirius returned, taking in the stifled looks on his friends' faces. James was tight-lipped from stifling laughter, and Peter was having problems hiding his smile behind his hand. Misinterpreting them, he rolled his eyes. "Come on now, guys, she knows it's all in good fun. I don't grope her in a public setting, she doesn't drag me into the back room, and everyone stays happy."
Surprisingly, Peter gained control of himself first. "Padfoot, I think perhaps we need to have you look up the true definition of 'grope' in the dictionary. Because what you did there most definitely qualifies," commented Peter. Smoothly, he added, "But whatever. Let's just finish our drinks and find Moony, alright?"
James looked at his watch with a gleam in his eye. "Weren't we supposed to catch up with him somewhere around ten minutes ago?"
Sirius' drink was gone in ten seconds flat. James and Peter exchanged a smile as they put on their coats to head out into the downpour of rain outside.
As he stared into the whirring expanse of the wizard-created exploitation of the unknown, Remus sighed. He could pick out the names of any number of the pinpricks of light before him on the three dimensional panels, and they all came with a story – real, imagined, he didn't really care. Lycanthropy hadn't stopped a love of astronomy from flourishing in him as a kid – the stars had always been terribly interesting to him, and this was one of the nicest displays he'd seen in Borgin and Burkes for quite some time. The whirling colors and interactive patterns were making him rather introspective.
Remus thought it was horribly cliché to think about Sirius while looking at Astronomy sets, and he tended to avoid it.
Sometimes, though, he just couldn't resist.
He had always wondered whether it was pure, unadulterated fate or an overwhelming subconscious psychology that Sirius, the man, was named after Sirius, the star, and turned into a large, shaggy black dog once a month. He remembered that, as a first year, Sirius had been convinced that someone had named the star after him, not the other way around. It had been Remus' first big research project, trying to convince the young Gryffindor that the star was not only far older, but probably named well before he'd been born. The research had quite gone to waste, though, as Sirius had completely refused to believe it and only a strong clout to the head, courtesy of Remus' textbook, convinced him otherwise. No one had been more grateful than Professor Sinistra, who'd promptly given Remus his first 50 House points.
Nevertheless, when all the musings switched around to his own name, he often wondered whether his parents had been absolutely intent on tempting fate or incredibly stupid. It was no longer an issue of psychology affecting his lifestyle, as he certainly hadn't wished to be bitten as a child, nor put himself in that position. Lupin, though all too close to 'lupine' as his last name, was an inevitable heritage, and he recognized that. But to drag his first name from the myth of Remus and Romulus, the twins who built Rome after being fiercely guarded by a giant wolf….
What had his parents been thinking? Even the man that had bitten him as a child – Fenrir Greyback – was doomed to the same pitiless namesake. This time a Norse myth, Fenrir was a giant wolf demon tricked into a set of chains by the gods. It was a cruel joke that almost made him believe in fate every time he thought about the matter.
Normally, Remus wasn't a person who would ever consider fate into the equation of his life. Schedules, books, order – he understood these things unfailingly. The thought of his life being controlled so satirically by the cold hands of the divine, however, sent a cold shiver to the base of his spine.
He suddenly began to wish fervently for his friends to return with their usual whirlwind of activity. This was one of the many reasons he was so fond of them – they always created such a blur of noise, destruction, and general good-natured chaos around him that it left him no time, no room to brood about things so silly as namesakes.
His wish was granted in a rather painful manner as he felt some invisible spell whack into his left shoulder – James' pre-arranged signal to Remus that the rest of the Marauders were outside. The fact that the shop had been magically expanded combined with Remus' tendency to lose himself in a good book made it rather hard to find a person within the shelves. Especially when Sirius refused to set foot in the store.
"Moony! Hey, Moony, you still in here?" That was James – and he sounded as though he were in a frighteningly good mood about something.
"I'll be right out, James!" he yelled towards what he thought was the front of the shop – he wasn't particularly sure, as his sense of direction always became mangled in this part of the building. Looking fondly at the astronomy set, he promised quietly, "I'll be back for you next week. I just have to beat James at a few card games, and you'll be mine."
He grabbed his coat off the chair, turned around, and –
And there was Sirius. Sirius, in one of the few places he had sworn he would never, ever venture into. Sirius, looking positively ravishable after the rain had gotten through his hair. Sirius, who was staring at him with a trace of an unidentifiable something in his eyes. Like that time he'd smashed into the castle while racing James on those new brooms and gotten concussed, Remus thought. Sirius, who was wearing those tight Muggle pants that were very clearly not designed to take on water, but still very much alright with Remus. Sirius, who very clearly wasn't supposed to be there.
"Padfoot? What the hell?"
Five minutes earlier, Sirius had stood restlessly underneath the awning of Borgin and Burkes, trying in vain to keep the rain from soaking him further. James and Peter were inside, looking for Moony, and had left him at the front door as per usual. He'd made good on the oath to never set foot in the store, and fully intended to keep it until his dying day. He had a similar oath regarding Madame Puddifoot's shop, but for entirely different reasons.
I wonder if he's alright. Last time it took them this long to find him, Moony'd been trapped underneath a literal avalanche of books. To his credit, the werewolf hadn't actually started the wreckage of literature – it had been some kid on the other side crawling up the bookcase to get to some enormous tome up top. Sirius clearly remembered that both Remus' and the child's first concern had been whether or not all of the books had survived the fall intact, despite the fact that both of the boys had been bleeding in various, uncomfortable-looking places. He'd never seen two people that close to hyperventilation at the same time in his entire life, especially when they'd realized that some of the blood coming out of their wounds was getting on the pages of the nearby books. Sirius smiled fondly. It was like meeting a little Moony-clone. He frowned. Well, I hope he wasn't that crazy as a kid. That stupid. That – where the hell is he, anyway?
He looked worriedly into the shop, the glass panes making it seem as though the whole room was underwater. He turned away in a huff, facing across the street and looking out towards the shops across the way. He told himself very firmly that he wasn't impatient, he wasn't worried, and he most certainly was not going into that store. But...
Maybe I should go in after him. I mean, he could be hurt or –
Wait. Whoa. Hold up. Sirius shook his head, spraying droplets of water onto the already soaking cobblestone. What am I thinking? I'm not going in there! I have principles!
Well, not really, but that hasn't stopped me before!
His head swam for a split second, the rain making the scenery almost indistinguishable. He blinked as suddenly his entire line of previous thought was nullified by an overwhelming sense of wrongness. A barrage of almost hysterical thoughts overcame him. I have to rescue him! He could be in danger! He could be dead, or dying, or being eaten by a monstrous plant! Only I, the great Sirius Black, can rescue him from such a cruel fate! Evil will rue the day that it decided to take hold of someone so important to me!
His head swam again, and the building across the street came back into focus, though there seemed to be a blue haze around the edges of his vision. Well, that's new, he thought. Aw, what the hell. I've got nothing else to do.
And he strode through the door, bells ringing merrily. He pushed past James, who looked rather surprised at his appearance, following a tugging pull that seemed connected to the center of his chest.
Also new. What the hell is going on here?
But Sirius, always one to act on impulse rather than forethought, merely followed the persistent tugging that he simply knew would lead him to Remus. Past the bookshelves stocked with glittering titles – he spotted at least ten on his way through that he knew Moony would love – past the section of quills and study materials, past the potion ingredients that sparkled out at him through menacingly colored bottles, and straight to the astronomy section.
Well, alright, I could have seen that coming, he thought, half to the pull at his chest and half to the world in general. He saw the brown-haired boy in question kneeling next to a glass box filled with thousands of different pinpricks of light. This section of the shop was well lit, and painted in blue and silver that, in Sirius' mind, clashed horribly with the wooden floor. Display boxes littered the ground, pamphlets and posters everywhere, encouraging people to "Buy Now!" Remus patted the top of the box, and it lit up where his hand touched.
Interactive, thought Sirius. He really only picks the best, doesn't he?
"…I'll be back for you next week. I just have to beat James at a few card games, and you'll be mine."
Maybe I should buy it for him. Wouldn't that be nice?
Remus reached for the coat he had placed on a nearby chair – gray and rather ragged, but still of obviously good quality – still smiling at the kit.
He might smile at me like that…
"Padfoot? What the hell?" Remus' eyes had widened when he saw the other boy. Sirius stared. His eyes – like amber, like honey, like –
Alright, what the hell is wrong with me? Sirius blinked, wondering why the world was so fuzzy.
"I'm here to rescue you," popped out of his cheerfully traitorous mouth, and he found himself scooping Remus into his arms – he certainly hadn't told his arms to make that movement, but then, his mind rationalized, he'd done weirder things when not under the influence of Miss Rosmerta's Butterbeer. Again, he felt himself consciously overriding the more balanced part of his brain in favor of whatever these new thoughts were after, and simply not caring that he had just done so.
In his arms, the werewolf he held stiffened, and Sirius felt his legs brushing against Remus' dangling feet, but Sirius just kept walking towards what he thought must be the exit, but on second glance turned out to be the back rooms.
Major déjà vu, thought Sirius. Where have I heard this before?
He thought. And thought.
And then the cogs inside his overworked, underpaid brain clicked into place. Bloody hell, I'm replaying Moony's smut book!
And before his mind went to the Very, Very Bad Place of Things That Were Decidedly Not Good for All in Question, Sirius inadvertently dropped Moony onto the hard, dusty floor. The werewolf landed with a startled "Oomph!" that indicated he had obviously not had the reflexes to break his fall properly. Sirius noted with some amount of panic that Remus' golden-brown locks were getting covered in dust from all of the nearby books.
"Sirius, what's your problem?" yelled Remus, rubbing at one of his wrists. "If you wanted me to get out of here faster, you could have just asked me, you moron!"
The black haired boy tried to rapidly gain control of his world. "I – sorry, Rem. I got distracted." He pointed vaguely to a corner of the room. "Shiny things over there, you know?"
Remus humored him, glancing quickly into the offending corner before his features became icy. "Pads, that's a display of pickled toads. They are decidedly not shiny." He looked extremely frustrated with his friend, and ready to hit something. "I ask you again, what is wrong with you?"
Sirius took the route that always seemed to work when dealing with the angry side of Remus. Laugh, smile, brush it off. A simple, three-step process. "Nevermind – let's just go back, alright? James and Peter are waiting for us, I'm sure."
This seemed to be a verifiable day of firsts, as Remus' metaphorical hackles rose while his eyes narrowed. Sirius' brain thought this to be horribly unfair, and a rather unnecessary show of hostility to boot, but the werewolf continued on. "James and Peter can wait. You need to tell me what's wrong right now." Sirius had the overwhelming idea that Moony sounded all of four years old. "Why did you come in here, Pads? You never come in here. You swore to me that you'd rather face a herd of rampaging hinkypunks than set foot in this shop. Then you scoop me up like I'm your fucking bride before you drop me on the floor!" He crossed his arms and did his obvious best to look intimidating in comparison to his usual mild-mannered appearance. "Now you are going to stand there – or sit on the floor, I'm not particularly demanding on that point – and tell me what you're trying to pull!"
Sirius glared back at him as his entire mind, body and soul screamed out that he needed to comfort Remus, give him chocolate and flowers and perhaps a nice hug. "Just drop it, alright? It's nothing. Can we go now?"
"No."
"Remus, come on."
"I said no. Now tell me what kind of asinine spell you're trying to put on me so I can go down to the breakfast table tomorrow without looking like a complete and utter idiot."
He thinks I'm trying to prank him? Well, that explained it. Remus always got especially tetchy about pranks when the full moon was coming. James thought it was something about Moony being afraid that pranks would blow his cover during the full moon. Peter had maintained some sort of gibberish about Remus' inner prefect always trying to balance out the inner chaos of the wolf, and so it went on overtime to compensate. Sirius merely stuck with the tried and true hypothesis of werewolf PMS.
But now was the not the time to voice such an opinion. "Rem, it's not like that, I swear. I'm just thinking about…about stuff, you know?"
Remus' eyes hardened imperceptibly, and Sirius caught it. "Stuff. Right, well, I see," he said coldly. "Let's go then, shall we?" He waved a hand towards the hallway indicating that Sirius should go ahead. He doesn't even want me to walk behind him, Sirius realized, feeling a little hurt.
They walked in silence to where James and Peter were waiting, Sirius feeling Remus' eyes fixated on his back all the way there. The other two looked taken aback as they saw the solemn looks on the faces of their friends, but wisely refrained from commenting.
The silence finally got to Sirius. This is stupid, he thought, and pulled Remus up to walk next to him, as a sort of truce – he took it as a good sign that the werewolf actually let himself be pulled along – without breaking the silence. James and Peter followed in a similarly solemn fashion, though they were obviously questioning the series of events. The four of them passed wordlessly through the door into the chilling rain.
Sirius looked over to Remus, who shivered a little bit against the wind. The ragged gray material of his coat looked insufficient to fight off any sort of cold, and he briefly wondered how Remus could stand it. He sighed as the fuzzy feeling came through his head again, and reached for the silver buttons of his own wool coat. He draped it over the werewolf's shoulders, where it promptly made him look three times his natural size, but three times warmer as well.
As the thick black fabric stopped Remus' shivering, the fuzzy feeling dissipated from his head, and Sirius began to get a horrible, wonderful idea. Remus gave him an apologetic smile, restoring some amount of ease to the entire group. Sirius had always admired him for that – being able to make people feel at ease with naught but a single glance. He smiled back, and found himself hoping that the same smile made Remus feel just as at peace with himself.
Yes, he thought. Definitely an idea. Something big, something flamboyant, and, most importantly, something suitable of his exhibitionary nature.
James and Peter exchanged a gleeful smirk. Wrapped up in their own little world, neither the werewolf nor the dog-animagus noticed a thing.
Insert one pack of nightfall, mix with sunrise, and bake at 350 degrees for 9 hours. Serve Day Three fresh out of the oven.
Trying to tie a tie while running down a moving staircase was not the most acrobatically inclined maneuver Remus had ever attempted. However, it seemed as though he was having a bit of an off morning thanks to the impending full moon, and his coordination completely abandoned him as the local trick staircase caught him off guard and sent him sprawling down a full flight of stairs.
Well, bugger, he thought, almost in slow motion as the vertigo of unintentional flight overtook him, I'm going to get my head smashed in. Won't the papers have a field day with that one? 'Werewolf Dies of Nasty Turn With Gravity, details on page 6'.
The corners of what seemed like every neutrally colored black stair hit him as he rolled in a defensive sort of position that was now automatic. The Marauders, as a generalized rule, got themselves into scrapes that involved falling off of things, falling into things, and the inevitable case falling off of things and into things, so his father had enrolled him in a Muggle defense class the summer after his first year at Hogwarts. However, it seemed as though all those perfectly good lessons would go to waste simply because he'd never learned basic walking procedure. He closed his eyes tightly, anticipating the pain as he hit the bottom step as his mind came up with gruesome color-copied photos of his death.
And here I was going to apologize for being such a prat to Sirius, too. Pity, that. I had a decent speech worked up.
The pain came – he quite clearly felt a hand crunch under the weight of his opposing knee – but not quite what he had come to consider as the pain of death. Something comparatively soft had broken the twenty-step fall, and Remus rolled to a stop at the bottom of the landing, still entangled with whatever had been so soft and giving. He was positively overjoyed to have escaped death by such a seemingly narrow margin, and lay still as he thanked every deity he'd ever been taught of.
Until, of course, his soft-and-giving barrier started verbally protesting his existence.
"Get off of me, you little half-breed shit!" His impromptu landing pad seemed to not only have a mind of its own, but a fairly peeved one at that. Remus jumped up as fast as his bruised body would allow, recognizing the hissing voice to be none other than the irascible Severus Snape.
Snape. This is just not my morning, is it? "I'm sorry, are you alright?" Remus gritted his teeth and reached out with his uninjured hand to help the Slytherin up. He got the expected response – his hand was quickly slapped away by the greasy boy. It always took a toll on Remus to have any sort of interaction with Severus – Snape had never shown him anything but animosity, and Remus simply could not stand people that hated him for no definable reason. He was learning to bear it with a smile, though, and it helped to know that Severus couldn't really do anything to him that would be permanently damaging, thanks to an oath from Snape to Dumbledore. It only applied under Hogwarts roof, technically, but it was good enough for Remus.
Snape stood up, dusted himself off in a way that simply screamed pureblooded authority, and picked up his bag. "Just stay out of my way, got it? I want nothing to do with you or your kind, Lupin."
And with that, he strode away, carefully taking the time to sneer disdainfully at the mess that Remus had left as his schoolbooks tumbled out of his bag during the fall. His books splayed everywhere, Remus gave an unhappy sigh and began to Accio them from odd corners around the school – some had had the indecency to fall off the railing and onto the ground below, and he'd never have found them otherwise. As he picked up the last one, Remus momentarily froze as he felt an odd sensation at the back of his neck, and knew, with an incredibly foreboding feeling, exactly what it was.
Unexplainable, unparalleled, and not-quite-unfounded panic.
It was that tingling that he'd gotten the first time he'd met the Marauders on the train, and each of them was holding a box of new Filibuster Fireworks. It was that numbness he'd felt when Sirius had decided to make a twenty foot high tribute to Wendyln the Weird out of Muggle beer cans – and insisted that Remus help him drink his was through them all. It was the awareness he'd received the night Sirius had decided that it would be funny to tell Severus exactly where Remus went during the full moon.
It was a plan of Sirius Black's about to go very, very wrong.
With some trepidation he stepped into the Great Hall, debating whether or not to use his bookbag for a shield.
All hell broke loose.
It was somewhat akin to the day the Marauders had celebrated his birthday last year – after, of course, he had expressedly forbade them from doing so. It had somehow turned into a weeklong festival, with every morning starting off with some sort of dancing animal (the idea had appalled him at first, but he'd rather come to love the dancing kangaroo routine and now kept a wizarding picture of it in his nightstand for those days when the whole world seemed to spite him) accompanied with the suits of armor spraying confetti on him everywhere he went (keeping him in a constant haze of brightly colored paper that tended to explode when it came in contact with Slytherins), large banana trees decorating the whole castle (Remus had never really understood this, but he believed it had something to do with the Potter Family Vacation being in Bali that year), and each and every table, chair, wall, ceiling, and floor had sported at least one encryption of "Happy Birthday, Moony!" (that sang when poked with any sort of human flesh).
The kangaroos were back. One was spitting in Snape's goblet as he tried to keep it from tasting the bacon off his plate, and they seemed to have acquired necklaces and tutus somewhere along the line.
The suits of armor were back. Three were already moving towards him, no doubt intending to assault him with the never-ending streams of paper that always got caught in his nose.
The banana trees were most certainly back. Each one seemed to be sporting a pair of doves.
But the writing – the writing was completely different. Bright pink lettering laced with golden sparkles battered his eyes as the words "Sirius loves Remus!" "Sirius loves Remus!" "SIRIUS LOVES REMUS!" reverberated throughout the hall again and again and again, creating a sickening, high-pitched chorus.
My God, thought Remus as he peered numbly at what should have been the infamous Hogwarts' morning-sky-replicate, he even managed to get it on the ceiling.
What's going on?
Sirius caught sight of Remus at the doors and immediately jumped in a smooth motion from his bench to the top of the table, neatly avoiding a plate of sausages and a goblet of pumpkin juice. Normally, this would not have been cause for excitement – the students of Hogwarts were by now well used to Sirius Black's blatant misuse of furniture. However, the rest of the impressive scenery seemed to have garnered their attention, and the Great Hall was quiet within seconds.
When Sirius Black wanted attention, by Merlin, he got it. Standing with his arms in the air like some glorified stage performer, he shouted, "My friends, I have an extremely important announcement for you that requires your utmost attention. On yesterday's Hogsmeade trip, I grievously injured someone very dear to me, and would like to take the time to formally apologize to him. I, Sirius Black, protector of all things Gryffindor, would like to introduce you to my one true love, Remus Jonathon Lupin!"
Oh, dear, thought Remus. I really hadn't planned my morning to start out with public humiliation.
It was a mark of just how desensitized the students and staff of Hogwarts had become that as roses burst forth from every goblet in the Great Hall, there was only a spattering of applause. Even Professor McGonagall had, at the urgings of a bemused Dumbledore, learned to just let everything play out and enjoy the show, as the mess could usually be cleaned up afterwards. Sirius minced his way between breakfast plates to the far end of the table – simply walking on the ground had apparently never occurred to him – and he jumped nimbly from the wooden surface, cloak billowing as he hit the ground. He extended in such a perfectly exhibitionary manner that Remus heard a few of the Ravenclaw girls emit squeaks of poorly concealed joy.
"Remus, would you be mine? Forever and ever and ever?"
He's joking he's joking he's joking he's joking. Truly dumbfounded and trying not to question why the kangaroo still intent on attacking Snape's breakfast wanted bacon, of all things, when he knew for a fact that kangaroos were of an herbivore species, he was having trouble sorting the world out. "I – what? Is this what you were planning yesterday, Pads?" His mind whirled, trying to make sense of it all as the students of Hogwarts peered interestedly at them, and he started to ramble. "And it's much too early for all this nonsense – couldn't you at least have waited until lunchtime when we're all properly awake? A simple 'I'm sorry' would have done the trick just fine, really. Dropping me on the ground doesn't need this much of an apology, Pads."
What kind of a sick, twisted apology is this, anyway?
Sirius (who was clearly only half-following anything that came out of Remus' mouth) looked appalled and shoved a conjured bouquet of roses at Remus (who caught them only by sheer luck) as he cast himself into a truly spectacular twirl that any drama queen would have been quite proud of. "I could not have possibly allowed your very soul to remain injured for such an inordinate amount of time! Do you think me so barbaric as to hide my true feelings from the world?"
Remus felt a twitch above his left eye beginning to form, and forced himself to remember that Sirius was merely bored, and was obviously doing this all for show in a very joking manner. "No, but a little tact wouldn't hurt any of us," he muttered.
A now-bored spectator (who Remus swore he would add to his "Kill Sooner Rather Than Later" list) yelled out from the student body, "Kiss him!"
A whistle.
A catcall.
By Merlin, they're chanting!
Sirius turned with a smile back to the crowd, making a cutting motion with his arm that brought immediate order back to the mob. McGonagall, Remus noted, looked duly impressed.
"A kiss, then, to prove my undying love and devotion!" he declared.
Remus felt his eyebrows shoot up and his bookbag drop to the floor. "Sirius, you're joking."
Clearly, he wasn't, for in three short strides Sirius had spanned the distance between them and completely covered Remus' mouth with his own. Stunned and shocked, Remus couldn't so much as move as he was slammed against the nearest wall of the Great Hall, though he felt his face grow an amazing shade of red that the Marauders tended to compare with an astonishing array of red fruit whenever he became flustered. His mind, still clogged by sleep, was down to one-word repetitions of badbadbadbadbad! as he felt Sirius' hand slide behind his head, and really, weren't people supposed to need air at some point during these sorts of encounters, and bloody hell, was Sirius possessed, because that could really only be his tongue pressing against Remus' lips and –?
And the bell rang, causing the verifiable stampede of students to flood through the doors out of the Great Hall and into their classes. It was over as soon as it had begun, and Remus felt no less confused than when the scene had begun.
Sirius, apparently unaffected by any part of his display, broke away from Remus, summoned his bag from the nearby table, and proclaimed loudly, "Onto the next quest of valor and honor, my friends!" as he strode through the door.
No one took notice as Remus slumped against the wall, sliding to the floor and feeling his hands shaking, too weak to even call after Sirius. What in the world just happened? he finally asked himself. That was over the top – even for Sirius. There has to be some sort of explanation. Something. Anything.
He sat there for less than a minute, as he was severely lacking in both answers and ideas, before his natural demeanor of order and control began to take over. He found his dropped bookbag, swung it over his shoulder, and began the trek to Ancient Ruins – a class that, thankfully, he did not share with any of the Marauders. Then, looking pensively up the stairways, he saw two things that immediately concerned him.
The first was James and Peter moving, without care or inhibition, along to their next class two floor. They exchanged a gleeful high-five, trading what could only be described as maniacal grins.
They didn't...Please tell me they didn't put him up to this...
The second was, though somewhat less puzzling, of a more pressing nature. It was none other than Miss Lily Evans, standing at the foot of the stairs; hand on her hip, motioning for him to follow. Her face was mixed with pity and what could only be described as knowledge.
Well, bugger, thought Remus. Bugger, bugger, bugger.
"Hey, Remus. Let's talk."
Bugger.
Lily led him straight to the prefects meeting room, against his heavy protestations. "Will you shut up, Remus? Professor Vector gave us a pass." As soon as they were inside the obviously ancient room, decorated solely by the armaments of the Founders and an exceedingly large amount of desks, she slammed the door and ordered him to take a seat. Remus had always hated those chairs – they only faced one direction, and were crowded closely enough that he always felt caged in when he was here. Not to mention the damn things were probably as old as the school – and hence about as comfortable as sitting on rotting log.
He had no time to pay attention to his personal comfort, though, since Lily took the initiative and swung another desk around to face him. "Alright Remus, spill. What was all that at breakfast about?"
Remus winced. "Really, Lily, we should be going to class."
She waved it off just like the four previous times. "No, Remus. Now tell me. I'm getting really sick of all the secrets you and your little friends keep hiding from me."
Remus unconsciously tensed, and had to force himself to relax. "Lily, really, there's nothing to tell. Sirius has been getting bored lately – have you noticed James has been cutting down on the pranks so he can impress you? – and I'm sure he just needed some sort of ...distraction. That, and I rather snapped at him earlier yesterday – I think he believed he owed me an apology."
She smiled, managing to make a face at the same time. "I suppose I have you to thank for the lack of Potter-induced chaos, don't I?"
Remus tried his best to look sheepish. "Well, yes – but he went along with it, you'll notice, and you have to give him credit for trying."
She huffed at him. "I most certainly do not! And no changing the subject, Remus. I know there's something going on, and I'd like you to tell me before I'm forced to tell you what I know." She smiled at him. "You're really the only guy friend I have, moron."
Much to the dismay of James, Lily and Remus had started up a steadfast friendship when they became the prefects for Gryffindor House together. Remus liked to listen to Lily talk – she was an undeniably intelligent human being, and gave him a break from the outright stupidity of some of his dorm-mates – and Lily... Well, he wasn't particularly sure why Lily hung around him, but he'd always thought it was for generally the same reasons he'd hung around with her. The fact that they would never quite come to terms over the function of the Marauders usually kept them out of their conversations, as neither was quite rationale about it, and they knew that.
But he hadn't told her everything. In fact, he hadn't told her anything, really. Nor was he about to start, if he could help it. "I'm sorry, Lily, but you've got to believe me when I say there's nothing to tell."
She sighed, chewing her lip and contorted her pretty face into a mask of frustration. "Alright, fine. We'll reverse this. I know two things about you, Remus; can you guess what they are?"
He glared rather coldly at her. "I'm sure I can't, Lils. And as a matter of fact, I resent this sort of questioning completely."
He could see that she barely refrained from rolling her eyes at him. However, as was her trademark for every class he'd ever had the joy of competing against her in, completely on task, delivering her facts with an almost startling disregard for fluffed conversation. "One," she began, counting off on her fingers, "I know about your 'furry little problem'."
Shit! Remus' mind quickly tried to take that in and mask his facial features in one fell swoop as a coursing panic overtook him. "I – I'm sorry, my what?"
"Your lycanthropy, Remus, how many fur-related problems do you have? I – what are you doing? Remus, that hurts!"
Remus had grabbed both of her hands in what he hoped wasn't a literal bone-crushing grip and gotten down on his knees in front of her. It was humiliating and it hurt and the wolf screamed out to not submit to such a weak human, but he had to, he absolutely had to get her to listen to him.
This was what he had always feared – that someone had found out about his secret, without his prior knowledge. She could have done anything – told someone, planned his imminent demise, or any number of gruesome scenarios that, while unlikely in reference to Lily, weren't unfounded fears. Humans had not been kind to werewolves, on the whole, and his mind was working on overload at the moment, making for a panicked state of affairs.
He stared directly into her eyes, hoping for a pleading face but knowing that he was only acquiring a look of unconditional panic. "Lily – Lily, you have to listen to me. You can't tell anyone, do you hear me? No one can find out, or I'm dead. Literally, positively dead. They'll have an executioner out here by tomorrow, afraid that I've bitten someone, Lily, and I just can't let that happen. Do you understand me? Please say you understand. You're free to hate me, I'll do anything you want – hell, I'll convince James to stay away from you if that's what it takes, but please, please don't tell anyone. I know you're from a Muggle family, and you might not understand the seriousness of the situation, but – why are you laughing?"
His panic only increased as he spotted the tears of laughter streaming from Lily's eyes – and Remus wasn't sure how to interpret them. "Rem, do you honestly think I'd be here if I was planning on telling anyone else? I've known for years – your dear friends really aren't all that discreet, did you know that?" Lily looked back at him and he could see the honesty in her eyes. "Rem, I promise I'd never tell anyone without your permission. Ever. And I'm not enough of a bigot to assume that just because someone isn't just like me, they're automatically evil."
Remus stood and slid slowly back into his seat, hands still shaking from the rush of adrenaline. "I know, Lils, really I do. This just isn't a subject I can quite keep my head about, you know? It's," he took a deep, shuddering breath, "terrifying. Positively terrifying. And – it's just – you're really alright with this?"
"I swear," she said, trying to lighten the mood as she stuck out a pinky finger.
Amused by the childish display, Remus hooked his longer digit around her own. He felt relieved just from her complete calm. "Thanks, Lils. You really are an amazing person."
"No, don't be thanking me yet, Lupin. I'm not through with you." She smiled wryly. "I am going to phrase this as painlessly as I can. What is there between you and Black?"
Oh, for... "In terms of what, Lils?" he asked cautiously, hoping she wouldn't be blunt enough to put the obvious subject into words.
Lily was having none of that, and he should have seen it coming. "In terms of the question, 'Are you shagging or just snogging?'"
Had Remus been trying to drink anything at that moment in time, he would have choked. As it was, he still got the feeling of ridiculous hysteria that sent him into laughing fit. "You're kidding me, Lily. You've got to be joking."
"How often do I joke about this sort of thing?"
"Never," was out of his mouth before he could stop it, but it really was the truth. He'd never seen Lily more serious than when she was dealing, in her take-charge way, with relationships of other students.
He'd always thought she'd make a great psychologist...
"Remus – earth to Remus!"
He snapped out of his reverie concerning Lily in a white lab coat with a clipboard, soothingly telling each and every student within Hogwarts to simply lie back and tell her how it all made them feel. He sighed. "Let me be the first to assure you that there is absolutely nothing happening between Sirius and I."
She looked at him shrewdly, a certain tone creeping into her voice that only girls seemed to be able to acquire. "But you want there to be?"
It finally hit home where she was taking this, and he wasn't going to take it lying down. He put a touch of anger into his voice to dispel her. "I do not, Lily! Give it up already, would you?" He stood from his chair and efficiently swung his bag over his shoulder for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning.
Lily, however, had other plans and moved to intercept his pathway. "I will not! Remus, half the school can see it, even if you can't! You want to know why that display this morning got no reaction whatsoever? Hm? It's because most everyone had already accepted it as truth, you imbecile!"
What? The frustration was building – this was just too much stress for one morning. He felt the anger rise as he tried to make her understand. "Will you listen to what you're saying, Lily?"
"What do you mean?"
He exploded at her, rage and frustration completely taking over. "Put the pieces together, if you're so smart! You can see where my life is going, can't you? I'm off to survive in a world that hates me for my very existence, and now you want me to admit to another handicap? Does it even register in your mind what the wizarding world makes of my kind? Now let's add the title of 'Nancy Boy' to that – you've got to be kidding." He continued bitterly. "Can you even comprehend the shame our society puts in a gay werewolf? Not just a homosexual wizard, Lily, but a werewolf as well! I might as well be dead, Lily! Dead to both sides of this impending war, or at least living with a deathwish, just because I'm not pureblood, and I'm in no way traditional. I'm a walking heretic!" He clenched his fists against the wood of a desk, his arms shaking. "Nothing I do can really help me, Lils, but I'm not about to make it worse."
She looked at him sadly. "You're going to sacrifice love for what other people think of you? I thought better of you, Remus, I really did."
He found himself dumbfounded, then chuckled, seeing that he still hadn't gotten his point across. "Love? Don't go saying things without support, Lily, that's the first rule of Magical Theory Class – which I believe you currently hold the top score for. We don't know that I love Sirius, and he certainly doesn't love me. This could turn out to be a giant mistake. Lily, this is my entire future we're talking about. Whether I like it or not, how society views me is important to my very survival. I don't think you understand that."
She whipped out his finger and pointed accusingly at his nose, making him go a little cross-eyed in the effort to stare at it. "I don't think you understand, Remus. This isn't about your future. You're thinking way too far ahead. Try living in the present for once, will you?" She eyed him, apparently unfazed by anything he'd said so far. "Now the question is very simple, Remus – do you like Sirius?"
"Well, maybe, but –"
She shook her head, cutting him off. "No buts! Do you like him?"
He looked at the floor, the embarrassment of the situation finally getting to him. "Yes. Yes, I suppose I do."
She smiled triumphantly, clapping him on the back and making him flinch. "Well, it's a shame to lose a fine specimen such as yourself to the other team, Mister Lupin, but I think the female population will survive. However, since I assume we're still allowed to ogle you, I do believe I'll help you out." She flashed a smile at him. "What's your gameplan?"
"My what?"
She rolled her eyes at him. "Try not to be an idiot, Remus. How are you planning on moving the bane of my existence, Sirius Black, Marauder Extraordinaire to Sirius Black, Late Night Lover?"
"Lily!" Remus felt a blush rising to his face, which only increased when Lily noticed it.
"What, I'm not supposed to think about these things? I know you're thinking about these things, Remus Lupin, you've already admitted to it."
When did she become such a ballbuster? He sighed, seeing that he wasn't about to get out of this. "I don't have a plan, Lils. I just came to grips with it myself." Thinking of what he'd seen before he spied Lily, he added waspishly, "And you know what? Your little boyfriend isn't helping any, either. I think he and Peter had something to do with this."
Now she looked intrigued – intrigued enough to not retaliate on James' status as her boyfriend. "Really? Why do you say that?"
He wrinkled his brow, trying to find the right words. "Call it Marauder intuition."
She gave him a purely patronizing look. "Oh, that's reliable." She straightened up, gathering her own books, but looking thoughtful all the same. "Well, either way, we're well overdue in Ancient Ruins, and I'd rather not miss the rest of Vector's lecture, if I can help it. You're the person I always count on for notes, so we're in hot water if the rest of the class decided to slack off."
He nodded and followed suit, visibly glad that the interrogation was over. "Right. Let's get going, then." He was silent for a few minutes of their walk before he thought he'd take another crack at what James had firmly instilled in him as sacred Marauder duty. "Lily, remember what you said about how incredibly accepting you are? Why don't you try and apply that theory to James?"
She whipped out her wand faster than he could react, red hair flaring. "Do you really want to continue that train of thought, Lupin? Because I have a few new charms that are just itching to be tried out on the first person that pisses me off."
He grinned cheekily. "Just thought I'd try," he said, opening the classroom door for her.
I seem to have forgotten how incredibly addictive reviews are. I'm trying to make it a habit to respond to reviews directly before a new post, because it was incredibly effective when someone else did it. I'm thinking CathyBloom1, but I could be wrong.
Updates should be on a regular once-a-week Friday or Saturday night basis (depending on how much Chemistry has killed me that week). Hope you enjoy!
We've still got a long ways to go, my friends. We're talking a seven-and-a-half page outline here, plus the ideas for sequels and odd add-ins that are ravaging my brain. We've made it through one of those pages, officially.
JewelValentine
