.::The Meltdown::.

Ten steps;

"Where are you looking?"

He would ask this every time my eyes wandered away; during long car rides, while watching television, when playing games outside... any time.

"There."

I would always reply simply and continue to ignore him. He was naive and easily frightened, and he always had been. I used to find it fun tormenting him, but it soon grew old and I was no longer interested in the sport. He became awfully boring after that. At least, until that one day we were secretly staying up and coloring underneath the covers with a flashlight.

"Where are you looking?" He questioned, leaning his head on my shoulder and taking his crayon off the page. I tried shaking him off, but he stayed put.

"There," I responded, as usual, continuing to scribble yellow on the paper.

"No, you're not."

It was the first time he had ever replied to me during this type of exchange. I stopped.

"What do you mean?" I said, "That makes no sense, I have to be looking somewhere."

"But you're not looking there," He muttered. I looked down at him, blinking, confused and wondering what the heck he was talking about. I had no certain 'there' in mind, I had always meant that I was looking somewhere.

Suddenly, I was aware of the beating in my chest. There was no way, Pat never paid much attention to anything other than coloring books. There was no way.

"Look at this," He grumbled, pointing to the book spread out in front of us. I did as I was told. "I colored her bow so perfectly, and you just went over it. You're doing it all bad, it doesn't even look like you're trying to stay in the lines, Rey." I stared at it. He was right, I had been randomly running my hands around and I completely messed up the baby. Relief spread through me.

"Sorry," was all that I managed to say. Pat nodded and changed the angle of the light a bit.

As soon as he started coloring again, the voices downstairs came back and I froze.

"Where are you looking?" Pat immediately repeated, and my head whipped over to stare at his small face. This time, however, his head wasn't tilted in that wondering manner. It was straight up and staring. His seven-year-old brown eyes were full of something my seven-year-old mind couldn't read.

"Th-"

"You're not looking there," He stated, "You're not looking anywhere."

And then he flicked off the flashlight.

It was the first time that I saw the actual Pat.

The Pat that he was hiding inside.

The second and last time in years I saw this Pat was only a few days later. Two, to be exact.

It was sudden, and it was scary. I hadn't been expecting it, even from listening in to their conversations for two years, I just didn't see it coming. I never thought that I would have to be separated from my only source of comfort. The person that was supposedly oblivious to the world around him.

"Rey," Pat had said. I had reluctantly torn my eyes from the television and looked at him. He'd smiled at me and suddenly he was embracing me. "Don't be afraid."

Only minutes later, Mother burst into the house and grabbed my wrist and ripped me away from him.

"M-Mommy!" I screeched. Pat got up and stared at us with huge eyes.

"Rey, we're leaving," She snapped, her brown eyes - the same shade as Pat's, yet so different - wild and screaming.

"What are you doing?" Dad's voice bellowed from the door. Both Pat and I whipped our heads over to stare, myself still dangling from my Mother's hand. Suddenly, Pat stepped up to me and grabbed my arm. Dad stormed over, yellling, "You can't just take him like that!"

Mother glared down at Pat and me, her eyes whipping back and forth between us. And then she sent her dark orbs to pierce my father. I looked at Pat in confusion, feeling myself begin to shake. Out of fear, though I didn't know it.

Our eyes immediately met and I froze. Suddenly, the argument in the background disappeared. It was almost as if I was drowning in him, but it didn't hurt. Not at all. Not the way that my wrist used to ache. Not the way that my stomach used to churn.

It was gone.

"Where are you looking?" Pat questioned slowly, and suddenly I felt myself being pulled away again.

"Pat!" I cried, and I felt tears welling in my eyes. He blurred. I repeated, "Pat!"

"Come back here!" My father's voice slurred back into reality, "You can't take him yet!"

"I can't stand you anymore!" Mom screamed, "I have to leave now!" My tears slipped down my cheeks pathetically and I began pulling against my mother's grip. I heard my father coming over.

"Stop it, Mommy!" I exclaimed, "Pat!" I wiped my eyes with my sleeves and saw him staring at Mother with wide eyes. "Pat!" I cried out, "Pat, where are you looking?" Abruptly, Mother jerked me forward and dragged me towards the door, whipping it open and revealing the dark, gloomy night sky.

"Rey!" I heard Pat shout out of nowhere. He was at the doorframe and I saw him screaming with Dad holding him back. "Rey, here! I'm looking here! I'm looking at you!"

And then he was gone...

Nine steps;