Notes: So this will be part 2 of 3. Thanks for all the comments so far, I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought the end was ridiculous.
Pt 2: Grip
She couldn't open her eyes. If she did and it was only Jane that would be there she would, but they weren't alone. The paramedics wheeled the stretcher into the emergency room and she could hear the flurry of nurses around them, some of them trying to pull Jane away behind a separate curtain. Maura curled her fingers tighter into the hand she feared she might actually be crushing with her grip, but what might have looked like long fine bones to the average person didn't respond by flinching or even trying to shift amidst the pressure. The other set of fingers mirrored her own desperation and answered her request of don't leave me. Pressure for pressure. Don't fucking touch me, came a raspy and tear-laced growl from beside her.
Only when the scraping sound of plastic on metal indicated the curtains had been drawn and several seconds passed to only the sound of her heartbeat did Maura open her eyes. She pulled their interlaced hands to her chest, clutching the tangled and blood-stained mess of flesh and bone to the point on her breast where a flurried thud rippled up to the surface from the deep. Jane started to sit on the side of the gurney.
"Don't!" It was the first time Maura's voice had peaked above a whisper. "I'm…I…" the tears started flowing again as Maura's face twisted once more into an embattled visage of horror and shame. "I'm not clean." She reached with her free hand for the edge of the blanket the paramedics had kindly laid over her lap and tugged it up a little higher.
Jane sat down anyway, "I don't care." Her fingers tried futilely to wipe away the moisture on Maura's face but the briny droplets only reanimated the dried cracked blood on her hand. She stopped trying, realizing that she was only making a bigger mess of Maura's face.
A doctor and a nurse entered and began assessing Maura's vitals.
"Please, please let me change clothes," Maura whimpered.
"Hey…" Jane tenderly pulled Maura's chin towards her, "Maur, you passed out. The taser can cause a drop in blood pressure and an acceleration of your heart rate. They need to make sure your stable before you can get up."
Maura sniffled and cracked a small smile, "You're a doctor now?" she teased.
The ER resident had a pleasant demeanor and he tended to Maura's vitals quietly and quickly, "Everything looks good, there likely won't be any additional complications from the electro-shock. Nurse Williams will show you to the restroom and when you've cleaned up we'll take care of both of your lacerations."
Jane helped gather up the blanket and wrap it around Maura as the nurse led them down to a bathroom equipped with a shower stall. Maura still held her hand in a vice and Jane could feel her tremble as she asked for a clean pair of scrubs to put on.
"You want me to wait outside the door for you?" Jane asked, looking down as Maura re-secured her grip on her hand.
"No," Maura shook her head, "stay with me."
Only when Maura had to step behind the shower curtain did she reluctantly release Jane's hand to profuse assurances that her friend would be just on the other side. Jane reached over the curtain to take her shirt and jacket and watched below as everything else fell to the floor before being discarded into a soiled laundry bag in the stall.
Perhaps Maura thought Jane couldn't hear her cry over the din of the shower droplets pounding against the hard tile floor. But the sound of those sobs could not be drowned out by running water, could not be silenced by walls, were certainly too strong for the flimsy vinyl curtain that Jane stood behind trying desperately to control the beast that threatened to eviscerate her once again now that Maura was no longer in her arms.
Maura reached through the curtain for the scrub pants the nurse had delivered and for her own shirt before emerging and wrapping herself around Jane's aching body. And again the feeling of dismemberment was quelled. She sighed, burying her face into the silky soft of Maura's hair. She couldn't hold Maura forever but she couldn't let her go, not yet, the smallest touch of her skin stopped the sensation of imminent bloodletting.
"Can I…" Maura turned her head to bury her face in Jane's neck, "Can I go home with you tonight?"
"Of course, I don't think I could let you out of my sight right now anyway."
They could hear Angela before they could see her and then there she was barreling towards them. Jane braced herself, eyes closing, body stiffening, she clamped down harder on Maura's hand expecting her mother to sweep her away in an emotional hurricane. But then there were only a pair of hands coming to rest softly on either side of her face. And the expected harpy shrill muttered only a soft and sincere Oh baby, it's over now. She wrapped her free arm around her mother and let herself slump forward into the embrace. It wasn't the same relief as holding Maura, it didn't re-embody her the way Maura's touch did but it did vanquish the guilt. The guilt that had held her hostage since her first encounter with him: her career brought anxiety to the family, but Hoyt had brought the most divisive fear. At least now, that fear had been liberated.
Jane sat on the edge of the bed again, her back to Maura but the comforting clasp of their hands in her lap. She ran her thumb back and forth lightly over Maura's wrist until she looked up and caught her mother's eye and paused. Angela smiled and Jane continued the gesture of comfort. The nurses tending to Maura were arguing over whether the depth of her neck wound required actual sutures or if butterfly strips would suffice. Jane was surprised Maura had sat so quietly for so long as the debate carried on, but finally impatience, frustration and the desire to be discharged caused her to snap.
"Butterflies will be fine!"
Jane snorted and glanced over her shoulder eliciting an exasperated sigh from the nurse that was trying to apply the same bandages to her own neck.
The night air was surprisingly cool as they exited the hospital. There was no convincing Korsak, Frost and Cavanaugh to leave before them. Jane felt like she was the center of some bizarre entourage, or being babysat. They stayed with her all the way to Angela's car. Korsak opened the front passenger side door and Jane looked at it and then down at her and Maura's hands still clinging desperately to one another. She shook her head and reached for the handle of the back door, letting Maura slide in first and then joining her.
"Ma," she knew what she was about to say would hurt but it had to be done, "could you just drop us off at my apartment please."
Angela looked in the mirror, her brow knitted in obvious confusion, "You don't want me to come up? I was going to stay with you tonight."
"I…" Jane looked over at Maura and watched as her faced scrunched trying to fight back the stinging sensation behind her eyes. Maura was sick of the tears at this point she feared that they would never stop. "Ma, I just…need you to drop us off."
