A/N: Hee hee right um yes well i would have posted hours ago but my darling proof girl Anna (LAVAMAD) glares went galavanting about so yes I procrastinated till she came home. sigh ah well. Yes i will reply to you review soon, lol i'm always so late in doing so, sry.
I hope you enjoy this chapter but i can honestly say it gave me problems, not goinging how i wanted it and sounding way to stupid and lame. I still dont like it so blame Anna if u dont cause she did and convinced me it was fine.--not really...lol
Luv you all
-Me
Sasha
Disclaimer:I dont on the JK stuff
PS: suggest anything if u dont like it cause yeah i'm not even sure it makes enough sense.
I'll update Simply Friends some time in April!
Back in his Bed
Chapter 2: Basic Impulses
James Potter was a man's man. He had been through hell, survived and helped put a lot of sons-of-bitches behind the bars of Azkaban.
So there was no way he was going to let a woman take control of his life by manipulation, now or ever.
…
Six and a half months ago…
Being pissed off serves a purpose. And this purpose was surely known to Lily Evans.
Her angry stance in the middle of the pathway between Upper Thames Street and the London Bridge drew looks from pedestrians as they passed her but she did not ease up on her frustration.
A good stress reliever for her had always been shopping but as good as Bond Street sounded it still wouldn't deter her current thoughts of circumcision of the opposite sex.
There had been a grand total of three men in her life and each of them had lasted a mere month so she didn't had much boyfriend experience to compare with but the fact that she never found Mr. Right Now let alone Mr. Right Forever is something short of embarrassing.
What had happened to her life?
It was a question that was hard to answer because where could you begin? Well, putting her steady career in research and development aside, she knew that the only thing in her life that was the pits was the requirement for a partner…for the lack of a better word of course.
The whole Witch's Liberation would hex her if she didn't use that politically correct term. Not that she wanted too, but it would be nice to have someone to be around.
And as she thought that she almost laughed out loud at the idea of how that would have sounded out loud. It was hilarious to think that she was a hot-to-trot Cosmopolitan woman of the London City area who just had a hard time choosing from her many admirers.
Hah. So not.
Turning she walked back to Upper Thames and continued walking, ignoring the pavement that was not cleared of the snow. She and along with her mates had a few rules when it came to sex. The relationship had to be more than 10 weeks long and they had to at feel they were in love with them.
And while the rule still stood, Ferreira Bond and Hannah Reno had long ago found the loves of their lives and were contently having sex numerous times daily.
For her though the V-word still stood strong, burning brightly in the night's sky.
Maybe her lack of someone had begun at Hogwarts. If she was honest with herself, she never had more than the odd date there to tell the truth.
Then she grunted; that should have given her an idea as what would become of her life.
Disgusted she stalked past the theatre and a few stores. What was her problem anyway? Didn't she rate at least one good boyfriend? Apparently not it seemed.
It was all Potter's fault.
The thought came so suddenly that she stopped. What the hell? Potter?
Lily laughed out loud.
Err, right. She had to be losing her mind. It's been three years since she'd seen James Potter and almost as long since she had thought about him. Okay so Ferreira might have mentioned him a few times for the past three years since his reputation in the Witch's Weekly Gossip section preceded him. His name usually had shown up every six months or so.
There had been something about calling him the "three-month bachelor" but she hadn't paid any attention to his life really.
So really, her suddenly blaming Potter for her poor excuse for a love life was …well, stupid.
Okay not totally but he was sort of responsible in school. Blokes hardly neared her because they all somehow thought that she and James Potter were "already" going out. Should she say it again?
Hah. As if arguing ninety-five percent of the time constituted to dating. Tuh.
That sir was not possible.
What if she had gone out with him? Where would she have been doing now?
The questions were so odd that they were unimaginable. The guy was probably running a joke shop somewhere. She thought and laughed. But wait what was she doing thinking about Potter anyway?
While she contemplated on why she thought of James Potter so suddenly she didn't look where she was going and slammed onto a finely muscled wall.
"Oh Merlin, I'm so sorry Sir." She gasped out as she reached to steady herself. "I'm afraid I wasn't looking where I was going." Hands were placed on her shoulder.
"That's alright," he said steadying her before turning to leave. It was then on his side profile did she get a good look at him.
The face seemed familiar but he looked completely different from anyone she'd ever seen. He wore casual trousers with a soft polo jersey long with a leather jacket and as he turned, his back and shoulders were outlined showing great width and strength.
His arm and thighs were clearly defined as was his butt. Yikes. His hair seemed familiar as well.
It was a few seconds further before she realized who he was.
"James Potter?" she said his name passed through her lips but she hadn't meant to say it out loud. Well speak of the devil himself. Suddenly she found herself wishing she had paid more attention to the gossip columns, or at least the pictures because maybe then, she wouldn't feel so suddenly attracted to the man she thought she knew.
…
If he had been run over suddenly by a racing broom James would not have been more surprised to see who called his name.
Holy Merlin.
Not only had he bumped into her but he hadn't recognized her. Tuh, so much for him being able to see things that others didn't see.
Lily Evans.
It was years since he had thought about her. His obsession with her had no longer seemed important to him. There were other things his time had been more valuably spent on.
As they say things happen and people change.
And he was one of those people.
He knew he looked different and from the wide eyed look she was giving him he could tell she more than saw it. She on the other hand looked, well, amazing. He could say she hadn't changed but she had. Not drastically but there were differences about her that were easy to place.
Her dark red hair had gotten lighter and longer. She looked a little leaner, more slender than before. The way she smiled however remained the same and he wondered again how she could make her eyes light up like that when she smiled.
Shaking away these odd thoughts he aimed a smile at her. "Evans, long time no see."
…
Lily laughed at that. "That's true Potter, it has been awhile." and as she studied him she couldn't help feel that the air about him had changed.
What had happened to him?
Smiling, she couldn't help but feel like finding out.
…
It was odd that, seeing Lily Evans and James Potter together. Their Hogwarts mates marvelled at the abnormality of the situation. For one thing it had been a shock to even see them talking to each other without blood being shed.
They laughed at the way life works. It was so cliché they could have written a book about it. Ferreira Bond, Hannah Reno, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin had witnessed on more than one occasion where the sparks flew between their friends and as the Heads in their 7th year Lily and James had blasted each and every one of them, as well as each other in the midst of battle.
But that, was years ago. A lot happened in that time.
Remus Lupin however, although happy when two of his good friends started dating, found himself wallowing in a sense of foreboding. He didn't want Lily to get hurt and if James' current state continued that was exactly what would happen.
Lily was the only in the female gender besides his mother who accepted him as he was, werewolf and all. The sister he never had and all through Hogwarts she was the one who encouraged him to ask out the girls he liked. He wasn't about to sit by and do nothing.
"Sirius?"
"Hmmm?" His friend replied taking a sandwich in each hand before staring intensely at each.
"Do you think it will last?"
"What will?"
"Lily and James," Remus answered. He wanted another opinion because he could be wrong. James had had the biggest ever fascination with Lily Evans. It wouldn't just go away and he wouldn't treat her like he did the others right?
"It's hard to say Moony," Sirius said as he replaced the left sandwich and paid for the right. Afterwards, they left the stand and Sirius had already attacked his Italian meatball sandwich with gusto. "I want it to work out. It's been a month already and he hasn't started backing away."
"But that means nothing Sirius." Remus argued.
"I know." And he did know. All James's relationships had ended around the third month. He never tried with any of them because no matter who he dated his eyes had always glazed over from boredom. Sirius couldn't really blame him really since; in his opinion James needed a little stimulation in the brain as well as other places.
That however, wasn't his only reason from staying with a woman.
Thing was, this "courtship" James started with Lily might be cause for concern but Sirius wasn't going to dwell on it too much, not yet because Lily might be just what he needs to come to his senses.
"You and I both know what's been happening with James since we graduated. The girls haven't seen or heard about us in years so they won't think we've changed that much from school. Do you think he'll tell her about it?"
"He hasn't told anyone Sirius, you know that. We only knew because we were there." Remus said tiredly and stopped. "The gaps before the scene we saw, James had filled in, somewhat though in a mumbled trance I doubt we got the complete version. I still can't get over it in my head. All that blood was too horrific."
"Yeah, and that puts us in a place where even if we tried, we can't reach him since he was the one who witnessed it." Sirius said staring at the wound up wrapper in his had before dropping it in the bin.
…
It was three years ago, a month after their graduation, James's dad had gone on a trip and his mother followed a week after so he moved in temporarily with his uncle. James' Uncle Wesley had been kidnapped right outside the Ministry of Magic where he worked and was brought back to his own house.
The black-cloaked strangers either hadn't known James was there or knew that him being there would be used as leverage against Wesley and without much effort had him subdued and captured.
James had known if he had tried he could have escaped but knowing his uncle's life was in jeopardy he couldn't bring himself to leave behind his last remaining relative.
And he had never regretted his decision, even when Kelsey Oakley had breezed into the room, all smiles, taking in the positions of everyone in the room. His uncle's eyes had widened at the sight of her then laughed out loud.
"Kelsey my dear, I should have known it was you."
"Yes well Wes, you were always too trusting. That annoyed me about you."
"Good thing I didn't tell you where to find the thing then."
"There are ways to get it out," she said taking out her wand. "You may be able to hold your own mind Wesley so I know you won't tell us." She glanced at James. "Him on the other hand, well we know he'll tell us where it is."
"The boy doesn't know about the weapon, Kelsey."
"Right Wes," she replied laughing. "There is nothing a nephew wouldn't do for his favourite Uncle."
His uncle had been tortured right before his eyes, the Cruciatus Curse had been a favourite of theirs. He had been too far gone to save when the aurors and the marauders arrived.
They had found James leaning over Wesley and the only thing the man had said was, "Don't worry Jamie everything will work out in the end."
…
Only nothing had. He had died as the last word passed his lips, and ever since then, James Potter had never been the same.
To this day James didn't know exactly what those death eaters were searching for, his uncle had been right about that; however he swore to make them pay for murdering his uncle. That mindset helped him become one of the most ruthless up and coming law-wizards in the London area. He had only been instated a year ago but he was surging ahead to take the world by storm.
Sirius had been more than concerned to say the least; he was still in auror training and still had a half a year to go.
He didn't really hang out with them anymore. Oh sure his body had been there but his mind had always been focused on the task ahead. It was only lately, a month or so before he'd actually met Lily did he started to relax a little.
Kelsey Oakley had been caught a month after that, put to trial and ended up in Azkaban for murder and treason.
That though hadn't made any difference to James' frame of mind.
…
Two weeks ago…
Did she dare do it? Lily Evans wondered dispiritedly as she paced the confines of the corridor that led to her intended destination.
Her cousin Alana said she should but right at this moment did Lily really trust her to follow the said advice? Well...maybe.
Who knew really; Alana was young, in love and married to a gorgeous man. Would it mean that her view on how to handle an impossible and commitment shy man is distorted?
Yes, the idiot probably thought that everyone should confess their feelings for the person they love and that way they'll live happily ever after. Sighing sadly, Lily knew her cousin only lived in a fairytale world these days. Not that it was a bad thing but with both Ferreira and Hannah abroad she needed some reality in her situation. Was the six months with James enough for him to be open and truthful with her?
She wasn't even sure she could answer her own question. After all things were different now and if nothing further was going to happen between them then she needed to get her life in order and make plans for the future.
Lily loved James but she doubted he even knew that she did. In Hogwarts he had seemed like such a different person and to admit that maybe she had had feelings for him even then was hard.
There was so much regret in her, maybe if she had gone out with him, maybe if she dealt with whatever feelings she had had for him then, things would have been different, but as it stands now, she wasn't sure if he had it in him to leg go of what ever happened in the past.
It had only taken a few weeks of them being together for her to realise that his innocent loving expression from back then was replaced by something else; something untouchable and unreachable. She had heard bits and pieces over the past six months since she had been seeing him; some from his mother, other things from Remus and Sirius.
But at that time, the time of her realization, she had hoped that maybe she could be the woman, the person he needed to bring him back.
No one clarified really clarified it. All she knew was that James had suffered a terrible betrayal, one, apparently, from which he hasn't yet recovered.
Lily had known then he wouldn't confide in her, he hadn't in any of the women before her but incomprehensibly, it had hurt.
Her mind turned to being logical; so what he's not confiding in you. Do you think you're so special that he'd just love you because you think you could make his bad memories go away?
She'd almost cried, her insides growing cold because more than anything she had wanted to be that—that safe place for him to be and let go in—and knowing that she couldn't be that person for him tore a piece of her heart away.
When their relationship had passed the "three month" mark and continued on appearances changed, the relationship was seen as something totally different. No longer was she expected to be dropped but now people wondered if they would marry.
If James knew about the rumours, he was remarkably ignorant about it. He didn't seem to care what others thought of him but as Lily had already fallen in love with him by then she felt more than stupid by feeling a sense of relief.
And since not only Sirius and Remus but James' mother seemed relieved that their separation didn't happen as well, Lily allowed herself to fall into a sense of security. Because, although at that time—so early in the relationship—her feelings were more intense that she'd planned it to be, she somehow thought that maybe she could let herself hope for a more permanent relationship.
That was then; now…her hand lowered to her stomach…she was pregnant. The Healer told her she was a month along so her baby will be due in early Ma. She rather liked the thought of a Spring time baby.
Sighing, she knew that pretending she wasn't in love with James Potter for five months was energy draining because for one thing, it hurt every time he treated her as though she was part of the furniture. For another, she didn't want to keep lying to herself. Being strong was one thing and being true to herself was important to her.
So now was as good a time as any and she had to take a stand.
She was not going to allow anything to hurt her baby.
…
"I need to know James, I need to know where is this relationship taking us." she said steadily but her demand was met with silence. "Answer me."
"I told you in the beginning not to expect too much." He said quietly—deadly.
"And I didn't but things changed for me. I didn't expect them too but they did." She said and this time her voice rose with each word. Taking a breath she tried to force herself to calm down. The action didn't work. "I've spent six months of my life with you, I broke my principles and gave you my virginity in a freaking month.I tried really hard to be supportive as much as possible. But,I guessthose things didn't mean much to you did it?"
Silence.
And taking that as a sign she went on, "James are you ever going to marry me?"
His gaze was hard as he stared at her.
"Answer the question James or I'll walk out of here. You'll never see me again."
"Threatening me isn't going to win you any points Evans." He said coldly not answering her question. But his stance alone gave it away. He had no intention of ever marrying anyone, she knew that, he didn't have to say anything, the silence was answer enough.
"You think I care about that? I've spent these past six months hoping that maybe things could be different," Lily said then laughed ruefully. "You Potter, will end up old and alone with no friends in the world and then you'll see. You'll regret driving away the people who care about you.
"As for me, I'm not going to let you destroy my life and anything connected to it do you understand because hear me James Potter, it is mine." And then swinging around she turned towards the door and opened it.
"Lily," he said her name but she didn't turn around. She didn't even wonder if it was a reconsideration. She knew it wasn't.
"Yes?"
"Don't ever try to manipulate me in any way. Do you hear me?"
"Loud and Clear Potter but only you would think a declaration of love would be manipulative." She said and with that walked out of his flat.
He probably didn't even know what she meant by that and Merlin help her if she ever saw him again.
If you're confused please leave a msg for me to clear things up. I'll try to fix it int he morning but I need you to tell me what wrong with it! I got one already, so come on ppl let me know what u think
LOL Anna dear sry for blaming you but yeah...take it as an april fools thing..lol :D
PLease R&R ppl
