Title: Parenting 101

Author: Krysia
Theme: Child Rearing
Genre: Humor
Version: Manga/Anime

Rating: G

Usagi stood in the middle of the apartment holding a crying infant in her arms. The baby was swaddled in a pink blanket and she swayed back and forth as all mothers tend to do when holding a small child. She held the babe close to her heart and bent her head down slightly to whisper soothingly in her ear. "Mommy's here. Mommy's here."

A slight noise near the door had Usagi turning to face the entrance as her husband made his presence known. His eyebrows arched in surprise as he looked at his harried wife. "She's still crying?"

She rolled her eyes at his obvious question. "Of course she's still crying. Did Ami-chan have something for us?"

He walked over and placed a kiss on his wife's cheek and looked adoringly at his daughter, carefully running a hand lightly across the top of her head. He was still amazed at the wonderfulness of being a daddy. He held up a bag that he brought with him. "It's right here."

"Well, get it out and give it to her. All this crying can't be good for her."

Instead he gently took his daughter from her mother's arms and passed the bag to her. He cooed at the red-faced child as Usagi peered into the bag.

"Where is it Mamo-chan? All I see is a book."

He continued making silly faces to catch Chibi-usa's attention and hopefully stop her crying. "I know. When I talked to Ami, she seemed to think that Chibi-usa might have colic. That book should have some tips what we can do."

Blue eyes looked at him skeptically. "A book is going to get her to stop crying? Maybe if I read it to her she will get bored and fall asleep." In her hand she held a thick, soft-covered book with a red cover. On the front, the title proclaimed, Child-rearing, What Every Parent Should Know.

"Turn to the index Usako and look up colic and see what the book says."

Shooting him another disbelieving look, she flipped to the back and quickly found the index. "Colic, page 124." Turning the book over, she began turning pages, stopping so often to scan a few words before continuing on. She finally reached the page and folded the book open, pressing down slightly to keep it from snapping closed.

"Colic is a condition that many infants undergo. There is no actual known cause, but many theories are in place. Some doctors feel that the child has discomfort (gas) due to an inexperienced digestive tract, others feel that there is too much stimulus for the child and they cry and scream to relieve stress, while yet others feel that the child has difficulty transitioning from the womb to the natural world."

Usagi snapped the book shut. "This is stupid. I doubt Chibi-usa is having trouble transitioning from the womb. If she can handle time travel, she can handle the birthing process." She tossed the book on the couch and walked over and took the baby from Mamoru.

Mamoru walked over and picked up the book. "Don't give up yet, let's see what else there is." After finding the page he began to read out loud, "If you have not had an official diagnosis, check these symptoms to see if there is not an unattended discomfort that is bothering the child first."

"Have you fed the baby recently?"

"Yes"

"Have you burped the baby properly?"

"Yes"

"Make sure the baby is in a clean, dry diaper?"

"Yes"

Mamoru looked up at the noticeable irritation in his wife's voice. "Put the baby down for a nap?"

sigh "Yes, Mamo-chan, I did all those things. I also tried the baby swing, a pacifier, singing to her and the baby carrier. Nothing worked. She won't stop crying."

"Well, that's pretty much all the main suggestions to determine whether it's colic or natural fussiness."

"Fussiness?" Bell-like laughter rang throughout the apartment, barely heard over the cries of the child.

"That's what it says," Mamoru responded defensively.

Three hours later, both parents sat exhaustedly on their couch. Usagi was reclined back as much as possible. Chibi-usa rested placidly on the chest of her mother, mouth open slightly as she slept. Mamoru scrubbed his face with his hands.

"What got her to sleep? Nothing worked."

"Well, it certainly wasn't the dark, quiet room, it wasn't running the vacuum cleaner next to her bed, it wasn't the tape of ocean waves nor did elevating the crib. I think she just exhausted herself."

Mamoru glanced over to the book sitting next to him and turned again to the colic section. After a few minutes of perusal, he closed the book with a yawn and placed it on the table before him. "Well, the good news is that they usually outgrow this in about three months."

Usagi, who had been relaxing, opened her eyes wide to look at him. In a strangled voice she asked him, "Mamo-chan, could you please bring me the phone. I need to call Rei."

As he readied himself to stand, he looked at her questioningly. "Why are you calling Rei? She doesn't have any experience with colicky babies."

"No. But she'll know what to do with that book."