Bored, bored and bloody bored! That's how Wallace felt reading the Thomas Cook magazines. He and his friend Gromit spent the whole day in the lounge of 62 West Wallaby Street, looking at these magazines that have spread through the room, like tea or wine stains. Wallace gave up and threw his magazine on the floor.

"Eh, these bleeding bank holidays! No wonder they're difficult to choose," muttered Wallace.

"It all depends on what you like really," retorted Gromit. "I remember when we went to the Canary Islands".

Three years ago...

Wallace and Gromit were at the Canary Islands and they attended a concert with Canaries in the audience. They were watching a rock band of five canaries called the Canary Feathers. They were a litter of drums and electric guitars, with a trailer of a piano. Of course, the lead singer lead the song away.

Birds of a feather, all the awesome things to do together

Wallace, dressed in a canary suit, arrived on stage ruining the song.

"Hi, my name is Wallace," greeted Wallace. "And I'm going to show you what a canary can do."

He produced his wings out, he pressed a button and his wings seem to fly up. Then his wings burned up and he fell down. The Canary Feathers and the canary audience laughed at this. Even Gromit laughed at this.

"You laughed at me like everyone?" a startled Wallace asked.

"Well, it was funny. Besides it was better than that time we went to the Barrier Reef in your so-called "Reef Peeker".

Recent holiday...

The beautiful reef of colour and races of fish. No wonder it's one of the Nature Wonders of the World. So wonderful that millions of tourists desire to see it via scuba-diving. Is it so wonderful tourists can build a short, green submarine the size of Big Ben's face to see and visit for more than a couple of hours? Well, one tourist can. Wallace's Reef Peeker! It swam through and has only one window. Wallace and Gromit peeked through.

"Well, Wallace, I got to handle it to you, I can see the reef closely without getting my fur wet," admitted Gromit.

"Speaking of closely," said Wallace, not focusing on Gromit, "look at all of these woman scuba-diving without wetsuits! Look at that lesbian couple – a short-shaved ginger hair in a green bikini with a midget in a purple swimsuit!"

"Wallace," sighed Gromit. "That "lesbian couple" is a young man with his five-year-old daughter!"

Wallace was still looking out. "In that case, it must be fat nipples instead of boobs."

Gromit rolled his eyes.

"You know, Gromit, all of this holiday planning is pissing me off," moaned Wallace. "I'm going to get us some beers for us." And he got up.


In the kitchen, Wallace was humming Bad to the Boneby George Thorogood and the Destroyers. He was humming his favourite song as he was preparing glasses with with long straws and ice as gold as an igloo. He put them on the tray with all the food, including a plate of curry and a plate of Margarita pizza. He was very happy. That is until he peered into the fridge. His mood changed 360 degrees around.

"Hey, Gromit, no beer!" he called to the living room.

"Oh, my God," shouted Gromit back.

"Not a fizzle in the damn house!" And, with that changed attitude, Wallace slammed the food to the table in the living room and sat down, more pissed off.

"What with holiday planning and lack of beer -"

"Well, maybe," interrupted Gromit, "if you could mix these two jobs together -"

It was Wallace's turn to interrupt. "We'll go on a beer holiday! The best holiday ever! I'm glad I thought of that, Gromit!"

Gromit began to protest, but then what's the point?

Wallace resumed looking at the magazines. "Places you find beer – Ireland, Germany, Australia -"

"Or," interrupted Gromit, "to save ripping up the Ozone, we could take a visit to the Lake District and visit the bars and spend all our holiday money on beer."

"Well, if you're worried about money and no beer, I have one solution!" Wallace pointed up. And Gromit looked up. "Oh, no," he spat out. "You're not thinking of - !"

"Yes, I sure am, smart dog! Everyone says that the moon contains rivers of beer," Wallace said proudly.

"And just how are we going to get up there?"

Wallace smiled. "This is why I'm the master and you're just a dog." He laughed rudely at this, but Gromit just stayed silent and read more magazines.