Manda's Note: I like this story... ok so I like most of them but yea... read review pleaseee Enjoy!
thank you roo for reading this for me... most of it anyway... before I posted it. PSSTTTT i want little girl lost! and twinkies and and and and LOBSTER!
Brittany had a headache already, she could tell just by the way she lay at the end of the bed and peaked out from the bottom the bumble bee quilt her grandmother had made her before her passing when Brittany was nine. Brittany had a headache and Santana was wearing a hole in the rug with her pacing. She'd been at it for more than a half hour. The same solemn and angry pace right by the bottom of the bed while she internally fumed over the events of the past hour, she hadn't even bothered to open her mouth she'd just started an anger pace. She could tell that Brittany was afraid to do even so much as open her mouth. She was always painfully silent when Santana was in one of her moods. Making Santana even more on edge then she'd been before.
"Tigger. You're making me dizzy again."
Turning her head to look at Brittany she watched as Britt pulled her ear buds out of her ears, allowing Nsync to spill from the pink iPod on the bed beside her, her arm wrapped tightly around a yellow bumble bee Mike had won her at a carnival when they were thirteen. When Santana was stressed out it didn't take Brittany long for the same to affect her. That was just the way they worked, sometimes sharing everything wasn't a good thing. Had she been in a better place, Brittany would have been one of her first priorities to take care of.
"Son of a bitch should just go fuck the rest of the cheerios… oh wait, he's already done that. He should just continue screwing the school. Collect more bastards with random sluts. I mean seriously? He really thinks that he can take care of a baby? He doesn't know the first thing about babies."
Feeling her anger and emotions escalate with every breath she took Santana couldn't look up to meet Brittany's eyes and she couldn't make a single request that Britt had asked of her. If she stopped moving she'd cry and she didn't need to spend any more tears on that jackass Noah Puckerman. Santana didn't cry… she shouldn't of been crying, crying was for the weak and that was one thing that Santana Maria Lopez was not. She'd never been weak and she wasn't about to start falling in that category either. The day he'd broken the news to her about knocking up Fabray had been a fluke. She'd let every tear she'd held back since she'd turned nine out on Brittany's shoulder. She'd felt so out of control and so lost that day, emotions weren't something that Santana ever did well with.
"Babies? …When was Pucky pregnant Tigger? I don't remember Puck having a tummy. Don't you have to have a tummy to be pregnant?"
She loved her best friend, there were some moments Santana couldn't help but wonder how she put up with Brittany. Some moments when her own stubbornness got the best of her and her attitude and own betrayals were all she could see. Those were the times she snapped at Brittany for no apparent reason. The times she'd feel guilty for long after Brittany got really quiet and Santana was left to think about her own thoughts over and over again. In this case, that probably wouldn't have been the best thing for her. She would have driven herself insane if she was left completely alone in her own thoughts for too long. There was too much going on.
"No Britt… Puck didn't have a baby… Quinn…"
Not being able to get the words out she shook her head and lay down finally beside Brittany on her bed with another bothered sigh. She's tired of thinking about it or remembering that things were all different now and they weren't ever going to change for the better. She'd lost the one person she'd ever really cared about to the one girl she'd always held a few levels of distain for. She knew that Brittany wouldn't comprehend her sentence. The fact that she was of course Brittany mixed with thee headache that Santana could tell she already had it was a lost cause to try to explain anything to her. Instead she shut her eyes and played with the cheerleader necklace around her neck, the one that Jane had given her the day she'd announced that Captain was all hers. She'd been so proud of herself and a gift that had been something passed down from her own mother made it that much better. Since then, it'd turned into one of her vices to play with when she didn't want to show her nerves.
"It's nothing Roo… pretend I never even said anything"
She sighed and closed her eyes. There were seldom times that knocked Santana off of her calm and collected state, this though… this was one of those times.
One day she was going to fall through the window. That was one thing she knew for sure. One day she'd fall right through the glass and land among the shards on his clothes littered floor. Yet, she didn't care. as she pressed her back up against the glass window enough to push it away from the safety locks his mother insisted on setting every day to keep home invaders out it was exactly the reason the key to the Puckerman home hung on the same key chain as he late Nana Connie's beside her own house keys. For some reason tonight was different, as she pushed against the window the glass slid up without any sort of hesitation, the safety clings hadn't been set for the night. On Saturday nights safety clings were always set. Puck got home from sheets and things, Jane washed his hair, he played video games for an hour and went to bed. letting her safety lock the windows and tuck him in by eleven. She'd watch for that cue every Saturday night before she let herself in. It was nearly three in the morning as Santana pushed in the window and dropped quietly onto the hardwood floor on her feet.
The bedroom was trashed, even more trashed than it normally was. It was almost scary to her to see, Jane normally came in and picked up the junk that piled up on his floor. Instead Santana's regional's dress was still thrown on the floor almost under her bed. The dress made her cringe, not exactly a memory she liked reliving. Regardless if it been just over twenty-four hours prior. Sighing quietly she didn't want to wake him up, the last thing she really wanted to do was get into it with him in the middle of the night. She just wanted the transformers blanket off of his bed, if he was going to be an asshole she could at least sleep well at night.
She liked it when he slept, he always looked like that innocent guy that he absolutely wasn't. Besides, if he was asleep his mouth wasn't going which was always a nice break from hearing too. Taking advantage of the image for a moment she reached out to grab the quilt that was balled up around him, she knew he wouldn't wake, she'd done it time and time. Before she could though stirring and movement that didn't belong to Puck stopped her and made her turn around, it was then that she noticed the lap on in the corner of the room. A basinet that had probably belonged to Li set up right next to it. Santana let her curiosity get the better of her as she made her way over to the other side of the room and peaked in. Sure enough there it was, the one thing she'd dreaded most for the months she'd known about it. yet even she couldn't figure out what she was doing as she leaned in for a better look. Santana didn't do well with Kids; Li was a far different story. Well, most of the time anyway. This however, this wasn't something she'd planned on even dealing with.
"I hope you know you've ruined my life"
What was she doing? Even so much as talking to it? Let alone the fact that her hand was moving closer to fix her blankets. It was only a few seconds before five of the little thing's tiny fingers were clutching on with a tight grip to her finger and hazy little blue eyes were popping open to stare. The stubborn and slightly scorned Latina and the bright eyed baby girl were instantly caught up in the middle of a staring contest. Didn't take the baby long to faultier though and her little eyes started to close and Santana began to pull her finger away only for little eyes to make the despite struggle to open again and stare at the shape of the face she'd never seen before. Letting out a sigh the sixteen year old took her finger away only to fix the baby's blankets and slowly and carefully pick her up.
"Let's get something clear ok? I still don't like you."
She wasn't going to faultier, she wouldn't be sucked into the charm of a baby, that wasn't who she was. specially a baby conceived by her… whatever Puck was and her ex friend. she wasn't stupid, she wasn't going to let the blue eyes and blonde peach fuzz suck her into anything. She was just going to look, get her blanket, and get the hell out of there. Brilliant plan… not.
"Fine… but I can tell you right now I'm not calling you Beth. Gotta be honest with you kid… that name sucks. It's like he picked it on a whim because he was desperate to give any name to that slu… her. Looks like he'd do anything for you kid. Even if it means giving up what he's had. He's been the cause and blame of you for eight straight months. Kind of pointless if you ask me, she wasn't a victim she was a willing participant, unfortunately she's too much of a stuck up bit… to realize what she did too was wrong. So yea, maybe he'd had a few too many bottles of Jack Daniels at my house before getting pi… upset and going to her with the rest of the wine coolers but really… what's the point of digging up the past now? you're already here and obviously you're not going anywhere. I blame the liquor… had Jack Daniels been something stronger he never would have remembered how to leave my house or get annoyed for pointless reasons. Jack… Jackie… Jacklyn."
Lack of sleep, if anyone asked she'd swear it on lack of sleep. It had nothing to do with the newborn baby who'd snuggled up curling her tiny body as close to Santana as she could get. Shit, what was she doing? What the hell was she thinking? Pacing back and forth with the little bundle in her arms as she softly hummed the Little Mermaid song her mother had put her to sleep by night and night again from what she could remember of her. The baby in her arms was slowly being lulled into a content sleep. By the time she'd realized what she'd done she'd kissed the forehead of the sound asleep baby. this wasn't going to fucking fly, she wasn't doing this… this wasn't her. Carefully she laid the baby back down and attempted to turn her back without another word. something that for once turning her back didn't prove to be so easy to do on. glancing over at Puck she glared, she really did hate him sometimes. espically when she leaned down and rubbed her finger over the sleeping baby's cheek.
"Goodnight Jackie"
She whispered before turning her back and heading straight back to the window, not even bothering to take the transformers blanket from him. She had too much to think about to sleep anyway.
