Well, things haven't been going well. At the time I'm writing this, I'm not on a computer with any Internet access, so it'll be while before I can get this posted.

Anyways, how have you been? This is the third chapter, but since I haven't been able to get the second one up due to an erasure of my data via annoying siblings, It's actually the second.

It just doesn't feel right calling it the second, but it must be done. This chapter deals with… well, I cannot tell you. I don't want to spoil anything.


Chapter 2: Excuses of Hostility

"Sensei it's about time for you to settle down with me already!" Chiri told him.

"I had all my doors locked. What you have done is technically breaking and entering." Said Nozomu.

"Half of your class is here waiting for an answer, so give us one Sensei!"

"Um… I actually have some important business to take care of in the bathroom!"

Nozomu rushed to his bathroom, and locked the door.

"Sensei!" Chiri, Kafuka, Komori, Matoi, Oora, and Abiru followed. Oora sorta walked instead of run.

"He's locked the door." Said Komori.

"What sort of important business does he mean?" Asked Kafuka.

"Well duh, what else does anybody do when they go to the bathroom?" said Chiri.

"Go to the bathroom?" Asked Abiru.

"Chiri-chan is right. He's most definitely doing what every man does in the bathroom." Replied Matoi.

"No, I'm talking about making the excuse that he has to go to the bathroom!"

Bam.

Komori asked, "You mean like when a president of a gaming company blames the workers for when a game sucks, but he was the one who came up with all the ideas?"

"Or when a student coming in late blames the traffic, but in reality, he spent all night playing online games and overslept?" added Abiru.

"That's right! There are enough excuses to build another world with! And Sensei has been going through every single one of them just to avoid giving us an answer!"

I have to use the bathroom.

Hold on, I just got a text message. I'll answer later.

Not now, I'm grading your tests.

I have to go tend my garden.

I'm helping twenty friends move; come ask again in a month.

"All of them are excuses!"

"Most of these excuses are pretty shady." Commented Abiru. "Why do we keep falling for them?"

"Because who would lie about something like that?" Answered Kafuka. "Even if Rin-chan always tends the garden, what if she was sick? Sensei would have to take care of his garden!"

"If I remember correctly, he did pass a test for flower arrangement."

"But I never saw him help twenty friends move." Said Matoi, who kept tabs on absolutely everything her beloved did.

"He probably did it while you were asleep."

"But I sleep next to him every night!"

"He probably just fluffed a pillow."

Because fluffing a pillow always works. (No it doesn't. Trust me.)

"He more than likely really did get texts from Meru-chan too." Said Kafuka.

Chiri added, "Well she texts him every day, so that would be a legitimate excuse…" Chiri paused. "So we can't blame him for that."

"… Legitimate…?" asked Oora, not picking up on what she meant.

"It means he isn't just making it up." Komori explained.

"Which means if he really were grading our tests, that would be a legitimate excuse." Said Abiru, further explaining a point that doesn't need it.

"By the way, what are you doing here, Oora-chan?" Asked Komori.

"Well… you see… Sensei dropped a 1000-yen note… and a few weeks ago… I came here to return it…"

"A few weeks ago?"

"You see… I forgot about it… until just now…"

Chiri looked at Abiru. Abiru looked at Komori. Komori looked at Matoi. They all said, "That's not a legitimate excuse."

"Hmm…?"

"I bet you were looking to have an affair with Sensei!" Inquired Chiri.

"I also..."

"And you just happened to be here while we were here." Further inquired Abiru.

Kafuka reached into Oora's pocket. She pulled out a 1000-yen note. "See? She has a legitimate excuse!"

"That might not be sensei's."

She flipped it around. On the reverse side in small print, it said, "Fake. Please do not steal."

"… Yeah, that's sensei's."

"She has a legitimate excuse."

While accusing her of having an affair, they completely spoke over her when she said, "… hope that he returns… my feelings for him…"

Meanwhile, in the bathroom…

"So we meet again, Nozomu Itoshiki."

"If it isn't my old rival, Tatsuhiro Sato."

"Hey, let's drop the offline formalities. Let us do battle as Sa1o-kun and DkofDspr."

"Do you mind if we hold it for a moment?"

"Why?"

"I'm actually in the bathroom doing my business. I shouldn't even really have my laptop in here. I just brought it because I knew I'd be bored, but right now, I have to concentrate."

"Are you sure you aren't just making an excuse not to fight me? Figures, your sorcerer is no match for my warrior."

And outside the bathroom…

"Maybe it wasn't an excuse to hide, maybe it was an excuse to run away!" Chiri proposed.

"Matoi-san, Komori-san, is there a window in the bathroom?" Asked Abiru. They both nodded. "Then sensei might have escaped."

"Not really. If you think about it, he held his stomach as he ran. He was sorta staggering." Said Kafuka.

Abiru thought. Then she said, "Well there have been ways of making an excuse seem legitimate…"

Carrying a pen and a clipboard and saying, "I'm Busy." Excuse for ignoring meetings.

Pretending to talk on the phone and saying, "Not right now." Excuse for ignoring customers.

Pretending it brought him guilt and saying, "I thought I was entitled" when he gets caught. The excuse is mistaken thinking.

Pretending you're making a video game by coming out with screen shots of the final project to keep the impression that they're a good game company and saying, "There is a slight delay" when the game doesn't come out. Excuse for getting paid for the past decade.

"Is there any way for us to determine if Sensei's excuse was legitimate?"

"We could always bust in."

Everyone paused to think about it. The answer was a unanimous "Yes". Fortunately for them, Chiri had brought a battering ram. Everyone picked it up from a side.

"Okay Oora-chan, you count down from five!" Commanded Chiri.

"O-kay… Five…"

Matoi's thoughts: 'He's in there doing that, I just know it!'

"…Four…"

Chiri's thoughts: 'If you've escaped, I'll hunt you down and…'

"…Three…"

Kiri's thoughts: 'I saw him with his laptop. I hope he doesn't electrocute himself…'

"…Two…"

Abiru's thoughts: 'Even if he's escaped, I wrapped my bandage around him so he can't get away.'

"…Zzzzz…"

Oora-chan had fallen asleep. "Wake up!"

Oora-chan's dream: '"Sensei… I picked up your money…" "Thank you Oora-chan. Let's get married." "… Yay…!"'

"Wake up!"

"Huh…? Oh… Sorry… One…"

All at once (except for Oora) the girls slammed the ram into the bathroom door. The door flew off of its hinges.

"Kyaa!" Screamed the surprised sensei.

The girls looked at him. Kafuka said, "See? He's on the toilet."

"He hasn't escaped…" said Chiri.

"He doesn't have any smut…" said Abiru.

Komori raised her hand. "He's got a laptop."

OH MY GOD! HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE FUCK! Was written all over their faces.

Matoi put her hands over her face. "I knew it. You're doing that in the bathroom…"

Chiri was checking his laptop. "Darn it, he must have erased his history. All I can find are news sites, a suicide forum and… an MMORPG?"

"Gimme that!" Nozomu snatched his laptop back. "Why? Why are you all in here?"

"We thought you were using the bathroom as an excuse to run away from us…" Said Abiru.

"Well I really had to go! If you don't believe me, take a look!"

They all responded, "Your excuse no longer has to be verified."

"Geez, first this guy thinks I'm using the bathroom as an excuse, now all of you! You know, the bathroom is one thing you cannot break into, excuse or no excuse!"

"We're sorry…"

"Zetsuboushita! The people who suspect others of making up excuses when they're really true have left me in despair!" He pulled up his pants. "You want to know why I haven't commited to anybody yet? Because if you're with me, you'll most certainly live a life filled with despair!"

"None of us care." Said Kafuka. "As long as we're with you!"

"… Well then, you're all a year too young."

"Then commit in a year!" Said Chiri.

Nozomu muttered to himself, "… I guess that excuse didn't work…"

"Hey! You Hypocrite!"


On Sato's side…

"Hey, Nozomu changed his screen name from DkofDspr to Duke of Despair."

On Chiri's side…

"Even if he's online, sensei's a teacher. There's no excuse for improper grammar."


Reference

The title, "Excuses of Hostility" is based of off a chapter title in "The Setting Sun". It was, "Outbreak of Hostilities".

Tatsuhiro Sato is the main character of NHK ni Yosoko (Welcome to the NHK). In the manga (or anime was it?) he had an MMORPG character called Sa1o-kun. He's Nozomu's rival online.

DkofDspr stands for "Duke of Despair". I was trying to think up a good name for a depressed person's MMORPG character. Was it good?

The Examples of failed legitimate excuses…

When a person says that they can't make it to a meeting because something big just came up, they're usually making an excuse (this isn't always true).

I don't like dealing with people who talk on the phone when a customer is trying to get help (this really happened to me).

The excuse being mistaken thinking was taken from the Tiger Woods scandal. Any way you look at it, he knew what he was doing was wrong. He still did it. I do believe he was truly sorry, but seeing as how his apology was most likely scripted, I don't buy his excuse.

The video game that never came out was Duke Nukem Forever. They tried to create the impression that it would come out someday by saying that they were, "Delayed". From what I understand since 3D Realms is being sued, they were supposedly being paid for all of a decade and did absolutely nothing. Take-Two is probably continuing the game… given I can believe anything I read on the Internet.


Paper Blog

Excuses- There isn't a person in the world who hasn't made an excuse, myself included. Most excuses made by other people have been directed at me. "Sorry, I'm going with someone else". "It's not you, it's me." "Sorry I can't hear you, I'm listening to my iPod." Well fine. It's fine if you don't wanna dance or don't wanna be friends anymore or if you're tired of listening to me. Just say it to my face. Despite my saying that, the only excuse I use is, "Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom". I actually use it quite frequently. I usually use it in classes I'm not doing well in, or when a conversation suddenly gets heavy. If I really need to use the bathroom, I have a legitimate excuse for missing anything important, or not listening to you. But I really don't have to go most of the time. I think they've caught on. They won't let me go anymore.

It's no excuse. I've had all this time and all this schoolwork to do and I haven't been allowed internet access and most of what I was going to update with had been mistakenly erased and I can't access from my schools computer lab, but I should have ignored all of that to continue doing the only thing I like to do: write fanfictions.

Haga: Well actually, a lot of those are legitimate excuses.

No excuse I make is a legitimate excuse. At all.

Haga: Wow, you're more negative than usual today.

Well nobody can beat Nozomu in that respect.

Haga: Yeah, I guess so.

There's also no excuse for having two of the eight pages I've written be used for extra content. The readers are probably angry with me.

Haga: Some might, some might not be. You won't know until you get flames that read, "BLAM this piece of CRAP!"

Since I've run out of things to say, Sayonara.