Dear Reader,

I am very sorry for my slackness in updating this story. I have been very busy with my first semester of Uni in a new state so haven't had the time to write, but enough with the excuses. This is another chapter before Jane and Rochester's lemon. It is no longer intended to be in Jane's diary, just from her point of view, so it is not as formal as the last chapter. Thank you very much to the lovely reviews I had for the last chapter, I hope you like where the story is going, and sorry again for the delay.

I opened the door just a crack to watch him. His dark features were pulled into a frown as he paced, counting the steps along the landing. His fists clenched and unclenched with impatience. I pushed the door so that it swung out full with a creak, and his head snapped up with a smile.

'Ah, so you have decided to join me, finally. What the devil have you been doing in there to keep me waiting so long?'

'Mr Rochester-'

'Edward.'

'Husband.' His smile grew wider and he nodded with acquiescence. 'I am very sorry to keep you in anticipation but I had to change out of that wedding dress. You know more than anyone that I am not accustomed to such finery.'

He paced towards the sound of my voice, reached for me and curled his fingers around my small waist. 'Yes,' he murmured rubbing his thumb against the simple linen. 'This is more to your taste, this is more Jane.'

I reached for his hands as they began to trail up my back and placed them before us. 'Shall we dine, Edward?'

'Yes, quickly, if we must,' he said in the gruff voice which I knew meant he was choking back some deep emotion. 'But I am your husband and will lead you as such.' He reclaimed my hand and placed his other on the small of my back. His trailing fingers, and hot breath on my neck, made it more difficult than usual to manage the stairs. When we reached the dining room I was forced to disentangle myself from his arms when I heard Mrs Fairfax approaching from the kitchen.

'No, no! What are you doing? Where are you going?' He demanded, clutching at my dress.

'I am going to my seat, Edward, as you should. I can hardly eat dinner from your lap. Whatever would Mrs Fairfax think?'

'The devil cares, Jane. Come back.'

But I only laughed nervously and led him to his chair at the head of the table. He seemed to sense my edgy mood and pushed it no further, other than a tender kiss on my knuckles as he released my hands. I watched him closely as I settled opposite. I could not tell what had brought on this strange emotion. It was not that I was scared of Edward, I knew that he would never hurt me. I was his legal wife now, finally, after so much heartache. What was there to be anxious about? I found that I could hardly rouse an appetite, despite Mrs Fairfax's fussing. I was too busy studying Mr Rochester. His hand trembled slightly as he lifted his fork.

I realised that I was nervous of being alone with him as I had no idea what was really expected tonight, where to begin. Mr Rochester was a man of the world, and was certainly not devoid of life experience. How was I, small artless creature that I was, to satisfy him as a wife? I felt as though I had been running all my life towards a sea cliff and now, upon reaching the verge, was afraid to jump.

I looked up from my reverie to see the candle was nearly burned out. Mrs Fairfax was clearing the last of the plates and stoking the coals. She came towards me with a sheepish smile and kissed me lightly on the forehead.

'I shall leave you both now, Jane,' she whispered. 'I wish you every happiness.'

I felt a strange jump in the bottom of my stomach, and when I opened my eyes the room was empty, but for my husband and I.

'You are very quiet, Jane.'

'Yes, Edward. Mrs Fairfax is gone.'

'Then we are alone at last.'

'Yes,' I heard my voice tremble, and his jaw tensed.

'You are afraid?' His eyes were focused, in vain, on my face.

'I am nervous, yes.'

'Of me?'

'Of tonight.'

'Ah, Jane,' he sighed, his face suddenly wretched. 'I thought you were anticipating it as highly as I was.'

I jumped and ran to him. 'No, Edward, don't say that – I am!' I interlaced my fingers with his. 'I was.'

He tightened his grip. 'What has changed your mind?'

'You are older than me, Mr Rochester.'

'Edward, Jane. And yes, that is clearly true.'

'And you have travelled the world.'

'Yes.'

'And you have loved many women.'

'No, I love only you.' He felt me tense, and pulled me closer. 'I have slept with women, yes. Meaningless women. I regret it, and regret that it must haunt your opinion of me, but you knew my history long before you agreed to marry me. What is the point of this?'

'I am afraid that I will not please you.'

He froze and stared at me, his jaw slack. Slowly he reached up to lightly trace his fingers along my cheek. 'Are you in earnest?'

'Yes, of course I am. How could you ask that?'

He threw back his head and roared with laughter. Offended, I made to move away, but he quickly sobered and pulled me into his lap.

'Forgive me, Jane. I do not mean to laugh at you.' He relaced our fingers and pressed his lips to my palm. 'But what you are saying is utterly absurd.'

'How so, sir? This is all new to me, and you know all.'

'Firstly, you are never to call me sir again.' He kissed my palm again and ran his lips along the inside of my wrist so softly it almost tickled. I gasped. 'And secondly, this is most certainly new to me. My affairs – even my first marriage, damn it – were empty, were meaningless. I was a young man and knew no better than to fulfil my urges as instantly as they arose, and God knows there were enough dangerous women eager to take advantage of my naivety for their own gains. Those years, my whole existence, was darkness, and a loneliness I did not fully feel or understand until you entered. My little fairy light…' he laughed and kissed the crook of my elbow, eliciting another gasp. 'You, who are all innocence and purity, whose biggest danger is abandonment. You nearly killed me when you left.' His lower lip shook, and I was poised to lean and still it with my own when he began again. 'I know now that you were right to leave me. If I had forced you to stay I would have ruined you. I would have taken away all that is good in you, Jane, and killed that light. I would have hated myself forever, and so would you.'

'I could never hate you, Edward. I love you.'

He closed his eyes and exhaled softly with a peaceful smile.

'And that is why this is completely new to me, too, Jane. Don't you see? I have never been with a woman that loved me, and I have never been with a woman that I loved.'

I could stand it no longer. His words had slowly melted the nerves from my stomach and all that remained was a fury of anticipation. I twisted on his lap to reach his face. I cupped my hand over his check and pulled his head down until his lips were an inch from mine.

'I love you, Edward. And will forever.'

He fell forward the last inch and pressed his lips to mine. I twisted fully around so that I was sitting flush on his lap, facing him, and threw myself into the kiss, knowing that I would not have to stop him tonight, or any other night. The thought flushed me with heat and suddenly the kiss was no longer enough. His hand left his lap and was slowly making its way to mine, tracing up the line of my thigh. His touch somehow seemed to reach through the layers of cloth and spread goose pimples over my skin. He clenched down on my leg and I gasped. His hungry lips captured my open mouth, deepening the kiss. His warm tongue gently traced my teeth and teasingly entered my mouth. Unthinkingly I pressed my own forward, eager to continue this new feeling. He groaned with delight and pulled me even tighter against him. Our mouths quarrelled together in this new dance, coaxing moans and gasps from us both.

I had never experienced such intimacy and his wet mouth and strong arms holding me against his body were causing strange sensations to course through me. A fire, almost painful, was growing inside and seemed to gather at the centre of my body, where we met perched on the chair. Unconsciously I began to rock against him, eager to somehow subside the ache, but my lips were so busy that I did not even notice.

He did, however.

He grabbed at my hips to steady me and pulled his face away from mine with a groan. 'Jane, if you continue with that, I will not make it to the bedroom.'

I sat stunned in his lap, panting. 'I don't understand.'

He sighed and gestured to how we were seated. I suddenly realised that I was straddling his lap and that his breeches, where I had just been grinding, appeared to be very tight.

'Oh.'

'Yes.' He shifted uncomfortably beneath me.

'Am I too heavy?'

He laughed again. 'Tiny Jane? I don't think so.'

'But you want me to stand?' I began to move away.

'Jesus, no Jane, stop it! Stay here.' He grabbed my hips again and forced my down onto his lap. We gasped.

'I never want you to leave me, Jane.' He looked down at my fingers puzzlingly, still struggling to regain his breath. 'I wonder. Do you know what is to happen between us tonight?'

I flinched, recalling the snatches of information I had gleaned from Mrs Fairfax, the servants and the girls at school. 'I know the essentials.'

He raised an eyebrow to coax me on.

'I know that we will lie together, that we will undress, that you will come close to me and that although it will hurt I must not show it as it will displease you,' I recited in one breath.

He inhaled sharply and kissed my forehead. 'Well, Jane. No wonder you were so frightened earlier. It is true. You are a virgin, so it will sting a little at first. But I am not wholly a beast. I love you and want to please you. Do you not enjoy kissing me?'

'I think you know that I do, Edward.'

He chuckled and kissed my cheek, on the edge of my mouth. 'I want you to enjoy all of tonight. I want to make love to you, Jane.'

I gasped again and kissed his mouth with every ounce of love and passion I could muster to show him that I agreed and echoed his desires.

After a few moments he was shifting restlessly again and I pulled away reluctantly. 'Should we move upstairs?' I asked, nervous again.

'Yes, Jane,' he whispered, pulling me to my feet. 'Lead the way.'

Well, there we are. Next chapter (hopefully up next week if study doesn't get in the way, and if reviewers want it) will be the lemon. So if you thought this was a bit too saucy and don't want your favourite characters to be soiled forever in your mind, you probably shouldn't read on next time! Reviews are love, and I really do appreciate every one (especially suggestions and constructive criticism). Lots of love, S.