Second chappy! They told me my grammar wasnt that bad, and I felt like twelve years of studying English were finally useful for something, thats sooo cool! Anyway, here it is. I dont own anything, but neither my Master, JV, which is a shame that makes me wanna cry my heart out. Nick and Viacom own everything (yuck!)
As I said before, I hope this chapter doesnt go against the rules written by my master, My Almighty Tallest, Jhonen V.
Read, review and enjoy! Killer sugar canes for everyone who comments (beware! they kill!)
BTW, if you hadnt notice, the xxx means that someone new is... how do you say that? POVing?
Xxx
"With my new BRILLIANT invention, I will vaporize anybody who throws that sticky thing they chew all day long on the floor! DO´YA HEAR ME, BILLY? You´ll regret of that day you threw that sticky thingy that ruined GREAT ZIM´S SOLE! DO YOU HEEEAR MEEE? I only need to… hum ok, ITS READY! I´M A GENIOUS!" I shouted, because I AM actually a genius, and I wanted revenge. I was about to try my new vaporizing gun when someone rang the bell upstairs "COMPUTER!" I shouted "WHO IS THAT, KNOCKING AT ZIM´S GREAT DOOR?"
My computer showed me a screen where I saw that Dib-stink standing in front of my door "AHHHH THAT STINK-BEAST? COMPUTER, TURN ON THE DEFENSES!"
"But if he´s not attacking us, what are we defending of?" He replied
"OBEY ME!"
"He isn't even carrying any gun, he´s totally harmless."
"STOP QUESTIONING ME AND DO WHAT I ORDER YOUUU!" I shouted and upstairs, Gir shouted "´M coming!"
"GIR, DON'T YA DARE TO OPEN THAT…."
"Hiiii big headed boy!" Gir shouted and I hit my forehead, growling. It is SO hard to obey me? C´mon!
"MY HEAD IS NOT BIG! I mean, hi. I bought you some tacos, I know you love tacos." His disgusting voice said.
"Thanks! I… I love you."
"GIR! NOOOOOOO!" I shouted, but they didn't listen.
Oh dear! My arch nemesis standing in my base, polluting my cleanest air with his simple breathing, infecting, planning! He´s so full of germs! I can't stand that!"
I went upstairs, holding my new gun and three Lysol cans, and I saw that filthy human pork putting his dirty human pork butt on my super clean sofa and it was hard not to shout.
"Ahm… Hi, Zim" he said
"What are you doing here? I warn you, if you dare to enter to my base…"
"I'm already inside" he replied
"LIEEEESS!" I shouted and sprayed him with the three cans. I mean, if he´s coming and he´ll destroy my base and break everything, at least he should be clean, don't ya think?
The Dib-stink coughed and coughed, infecting my clean air with his germs.
"STOP COUGHING! YOU´RE SCREWING EVERYTHING!"
"I would if you could stop spraying me with that!"He replied half speaking, half coughing.
"LIEESSSS! FILTHY LIES JUST LIKE YOU!" I shouted again and he waved his hand to disperse the spray. He coughed a little bit more, covering his mouth with his filthy hand, as if it would avoid him to contaminate my clean base.
"Anyway" he said after more coughs "I'm here to ask you something kind of unusual. You see, after thinking for a while, I realized that my inferior human tech is nothing against yours, and the rest of them are way too stupid, and they are not helpful at all. I just got tired of fighting for people who never listens to me. It's annoying. That's why I'm asking for a truce."
"A what?"
"Truce, that means I surrender."
"YOU LIEE! I was so right! YOU´RE LYING! COMPUTER, ATTACK!"
"He isn't attacking us, why do you want to attack him? Besides, he´s not lying and according to Asimov´s Three Law…"
"STOP QUESTIONING ZIM AND ATTACK!" I interrupted it.
"Ah… nope, I'm not."
"FOOLISH COMPUTER GOOD FOR NOTHING!" I growled and saw Dib "What? Is this a trap? Do you think you can beat GREATEST ZIM? Cuz you can't! And I AM ZIM!" I shouted and laughed maniacally.
"No, I'm just surrendering. Ya see? I even brought my white peace flag" he replied, showing me an impaled -and filled with germs- human undergarment.
"Ok, are you waving a dirty hyuuman undergarment to show me you´re being serious?"
"Well… yes. That's how we ask the bullies to stop wedging us…actually, this isn't mine… I don't know whose this…" he looked at the thing with a disgusted look. "Eh… do you have some sanitized to lend me?"
"So… surrendering, huh? And what if I shoot you with my vaporizer?" I asked and he put his hands up. "And if I invaded today your sticky planet by launching laughing gas until everyone explodes from laughing so hard, you would do nothing?" Oh, that's a good idea, I'm such a genius!
He shook his head, still with his hands up, but I couldn't believe it, he couldn't just surrender, there should be a reason, I mean, besides my obvious superiority, his obvious inferiority and the fact that I am better than any disgusting human worm… ok he has plenty of reasons.
"Look, I can prove it. Let's go outside." He said and I followed, just because I felt curious. Outside, he told me to take off my ingenious disguise.
"I KNEW IT! THIS WAS A TRAP! And I almost fall! But luckily I'm superior, my mind is superior, all me is superior and…Puaj, I swallowed a bug!
"This isn't a trap, I swear!" he said and took off my wig while I was distracted. I thought he would shout, but he just looked at me and threw it away. He didn't say anything to the human beasts walking by.
So he was telling the truth! He´s admitting his inferiority and surrendering!
"Well, if you won't ruin my plans anymore… PRAISE YOUR NEW INVADER!" I shouted and he kneeled down and… praised me. Dib-worm, praising me! My arch nemesis! And soon there will be more, cuz now I have the clear path to get my invasion, Oh when My Tallest find out they will feel sticky things!
"If you´ll not screw everything again, then GET OUT OF MY BASE!" I yelled at him and he shook his shoulders and walked away.
"You see? He didn't attack." Computer said
"SHUT UP! Or you won't get Christmas box!"
"You don't even pay me… and we´re on March."
"LIES! GIR!" I yelled again and the stupid little robot saluted me
"Yes, Master?" He asked with red eyes and deep voice
"Get me to the Almighty Tallest."
"Okee-dookie! Can we eat taquitos now pleeeeeaaaaseee?"
"After you get me to them, Gir. They´ll be so pleased with the news!"
Xxx
In the Massive Irken ship, Almighty Tallest were sitting on their couch, watching TV, and lazily changing the channels.
"Hey, the reality show should have been started already. They are running late for one minute now…" Purple sighed, being the biggest fan of that show, as he was one of the hosts (Red was the other one) and as they would always make those little guys do things like puppet shows and stuff.
"You´re right… Hmmm… Let me send someone to kill all Televisoria habitants…" Red said, talking about the planet that gave them their 5000 channels. Suddenly, on the TV, an electronic song that was like cats mating started playing. "Oh, look, it started." Red sighed; both got closer to their giant TV screen, and then on it appeared their smallest mistake.
"Wow! Zim is on Irk´s next invader?" Purple asked "I knew he was a terrible invader, but I never imagined he would be on that kind of show …"
"Don't be stupid, it is…"
"MY ALMIGHTY TALLEST! I'm so glad to see you again!" The little green creature in the screen shouted, honoring them.
"And we´re happy to see you too, Zim…" Red sighed sarcastically
"Really? Wow, thanks!" Zim shouted while blushing, unaware of their sarcastic looks. Red and Purple looked at each other and then looked again the little green thing shaking impatiently.
"Anyway!" Zim continued "I called just to tell you that Irken invasion is almost complete! I'm about NOTHING to destroy human kind and offer their filthy planet to your HIGHNESS! Everything thanks to that dirty Dib-stink, who finally discovered my greatness…"
"Wow that should take a long time…" Red mumbled to Purple and both laughed silently.
"…And finally surrendered!" Zim finished.
"That's very interesting Zim, but… wait a minute, you hadn't conquered those idiots because one earthlung…"
"Earthling, Master" The little alien corrected shyly.
"Yeah, whatever. Because an earthling didn't allow you to finish your plans? A native whose intelligence is obviously inferior to irken´s? that´s… pathetic!" Red said and both Tallest started laughing to tears.
Zim smiled nervously, wondering if he should either laugh with them or take offense.
They laughed for an entire minute, giving the expression "LMAO" a new meaning. Really.
"Ahh… that was fun… anyway, my reality show is already starting, and I don't wanna miss a thing, I wanna see if Tenn goes home tonight, so… goodbye. Thanks for the laughter"
"Please never EVER call again" Red said and turned off the communication.
On Planet Earth, a little proud green alien smiled and sighed.
"Ya see, Gir? I cheered up their day! I'm their biggest source of happiness. Oh, how can Zim be soooo great?" He said happily.
"Yeah, master, sure" The little robot replied, totally absorbed by his rubber piggy.
C´mon, it wasnt that bad... I hope you liked it!
In the original Spanish story, the Tallest were watching a Telenovela, but I thought a reality show would fit too.
Well... what else can I say? Oh, today I dreamt Zim was wearing a cheerleader suite, and he was cute!
Oh, true, replies to comments:
watchmexplode33: Thanks for your comment, and Im fighting a lot against my hideous grammar, hope it´s fine.
TGWT: here´s your waffles. Eat all you can. They have soap and bacon! delishuz! and thanx a lot for your comment, Im sure you could translate a story too, you only need some knowledge... and Google translates.
