So we are continuing on, and I decided that I shall try myself at Shizaya, even though I never paired anyone before. Well you learn new things every day.

Disclaimer: I own my socks, but not the Durarara cast.

„You must be pretty lonely, huh."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it seems like your always on your own, I saw you try to talk to other people but they just got away…I saw you hurt them."

"So what!? They wanted a monster, they got a monster!."

„Oh...I see."

Shinra was...he was different. He did not ignore him. He actually talked to him. Izaya could not remember when the last time somebody normally talked to him was. Over the years he and his family drew apart, and he moved away to live on his own. He was all alone. There was nobody to love him now.

„Izaya?"

„Yes?"

„Why don't you just leave the rest alone? You have me as your friend you know, you can leave the rest of them alone now."

„I can't."

„Why not?"

„I need more."

„Alright."

Shinra was the only one who understood. His love for Celty, the mysterious dullahan he was introduced to, was as strange and as strong as Izaya's love for humans. However, Izaya did not love humans this much from the day he was born. No. Izaya loved them because there was no one in particular to love him. He coped with his pain by wrapping it in love. Love so great that nothing could pass it. Love bigger then anything. Love for humanity. Simply put, Izaya loved to love. And he was hurt because that love was not returned. He expended his horizons. Instead of focusing on one person, he loved all of them. Wishing, hoping, that one day, maybe, one, just one of those people, is going to return that love back. So far, Shinra was the only one. But Shinra wasn't enough. Shinra wasn't what he needed. He needed something more. He did not know what, but there was something more and he needed it. He needed it bad.

"I would like you too meet somebody, okay."

"Yeah, sure."

"His name is Shizuo Heiwajima."

"Oh really."

"He is abnormally strong, I studied him a bit and threw a few theories around, but he never allowed me to examine him. Oh, what a waste."

"What do you mean, abnormally strong?"

"Oh you'll see." His friend giggled…it was a bit creepy.

"Yeah, whatever."

He was surprised. He, Izaya Orihara, was completely bewildered by the performance of "Shizuo Heiwajima". That was when he knew it. He absolutely knew it. That was the one he was looking for. That was he love he sought. Right there, displaying his brutal strength, for Izaya, just for Izaya. He clapped to him when he was finished, for he had enjoyed the show. And then…then his newfound love said the most terrible thing.

"You piss me off."

And that was it.

There was no going back.

His love hated him.

Again.

For no reason.

You want me to be monster.

Alright, I'll be a monster for you.

Shizu-chan

He did everything it was humanly possible to be his monster. Shizuo hated him, so Izaya accepted that hate and made it stronger. He had to feel. He had to feel his dear Shizu-chan. And if it couldn't be through love, then he will just satisfy himself with his hate. He embraced Shizuo's hate. He loved it. He drowned himself in it.

But still…

It killed him.

The fact that he could not be loved the way he needed, killed him.

This is all your fault Shizu-chan.

All your fault.