Disclaimer: If I was ever hired to write for Teen Titans they would probably fire me. You guys saw how long it took me to update right? I'm uber sorry about that but in my defense. Its really hard to write during the semester.

Putting out the Fires

Chapter 2: I Don't Want To Remember Anymore.

"BB," Cyborg yelled as he banged on BeastBoy's door. BeastBoy, who was sleeping in his usual manner (like the dead), did not care to be woken up. He turned into a snap turtle, crawled under his pillow, snapped his shell shut and tried to rock himself back into sleep. "BB! I know you can hear me! Open this door!" BeastBoy paid no attention as Cyborg continued to bang and yell.

BeastBoy didn't hear his door silently unlock and slide open but, but he did feel his pillow lift off of his shell. The yellow light from the light bulb above shone at the back of his eyelids. BeastBoy shifted back into human form. "Duuuude," BeastBoy was ready to give Cyborg some choice words. BeastBoy opened his eyes and saw Raven, with her hands glowing black, and Cyborg. BeastBoy took a moment to stretch and yawn. Instead of using the choice words he had intended for Cyborg he decided to direct his attention to the one that actually broke into his room. "Privacy?" He asked, his voice a mixture of fatigue, timid-ness, and the slight frustration that was quickly dissipating.

"Is a virtue," Raven said.

"That I don't have?" BeastBoy joked. Raven didn't laugh and Cyborg didn't get it. BeastBoy knew the joke was lame but he was trying. "Soooo, I was woken up because?"

"We ordered you some Chinese," Raven said.

"Did you guys hurt Star's feelings?" BeastBoy asked trying to hide a chuckle.

After Cyborg and BeastBoy had returned to Titian Tower pizza-less Robin was more than slightly confused. He, as well as the other titans, were expecting at least a dozen pizzas for BeastBoy and Cyborg's videogame weekly showdown. Before Robin could ask too many questions about the missing pizza (and in turn the missing dinner), BeastBoy escaped to his room with a bad lie about not being hungry, a book, and a nap. As his door was closing BeastBoy heard StarFire's peppy voice offer to cook dinner, and Cyborg and Robin's nervous stammers. BeastBoy felt bad for putting them in that situation but dodging the pizzeria just had to be done.

"We stopped her before she got to the actual cooking part," Cyborg said. "Convinced her that ordering in was the better choice." Cyborg shuddered. "Have you ever seen anyone eat that stuff and live? Star's cool and all, but definitely not worth the risk."

There was someone who had ate StarFire's cooking and lived. A smile appeared on BeastBoy's face without his permission. She was even bold enough to ask for seconds. Terra could eat anything. BeastBoy smirked to himself. But that was how she knew the best stuff from everything else, BeastBoy thought. No, Stop it. BeastBoy pulled on his dark green hair. Stop thinking about Terra right NOW. She is gone and she is never coming back. NEVER.

Raven raised one of her slender black eyebrows. "Are you okay?" She asked.

BeastBoy dropped his hands to his side and looked at Raven, then at Cyborg. For a second he had forgotten they were there. BeastBoy looked into Raven's deep purple eyes. He couldn't ever lie to Raven. He ran his hands through his dark green hair. But at the same time he didn't know how to tell her what was happening. He didn't even know how to process what was going on inside his own head. He gave her a lopsided smile in place of an answer.

Raven knew that smile. Something was bothering him. That crooked smile was a sad excuse for his signature grin; the one that was always beaming with joy. "Alright," she turned to Cyborg. "I fed him, Make sure you take him for his walk." She turned back to BeastBoy. "Goodnight," was all she told him before she left his room and walked down the hall. She couldn't help him if he refused to tell her what was wrong.

BeastBoy took the bag from Cyborg and started nosing around in the paper containers. "Mmm, mmm, mmmmm, hungry or not, who can say no to Chinese food? The smell of sweet and sour deep fried tofu, is intoxicating. Thanks dude." He fished the plastic fork from the bottom of the bag.

"No prob. But I can't take all the credit. It was Rae's idea too."

"I figured as much. I'll thank her later." BeastBoy started to chow down the Chinese "You guys are the best. Sometimes you're better than I deserve." BeastBoy said; his eyes, locked on the bottom of the food container.

"What are you talking nonsense for? We're your friends BB. It's what we do." Cyborg told him with a friendly slap on the back. "Wanna go a few rounds on the GameStation? You did skip out on our videogame war this afternoon."

"Fire it up." BeastBoy tossed the empty container in the trash and grabbed his controller.

Cyborg popped in their favorite fighting game. As usual BeastBoy lost round after round. Unlike usual BeastBoy didn't seem to notice he was losing at all. He didn't yell, throw his controller, or morph into raging animals. Cyborg knew this was a sign something was wrong. He took a few dives and let BeastBoy win a few rounds. BeastBoy still didn't take any notice. That's when Cyborg knew it was serious. "So, what are you going to tell Rae?" Cyborg asked.

BeastBoy put his controller down and lost the match. "There's nothing to tell," he said softly. BeastBoy sighed, ran his hands through his green hair and sighed again. "Look Cyborg, this was really fun but I'm really beat. I'm gonna call it a night." Then BeastBoy crawled into his bed and hid under his covers. Cyborg left BeastBoy's room very concerned about the wellbeing of his best friend.

BeastBoy lied awake in his bed. He hadn't seen her all day. He knew she was coming. His ear twitched. He heard the window to the living room being forced open quietly. The perfect horrific ending to the perfectly planned torturous week, BeastBoy thought. He took a deep breath and waited for her. He had thought what had happened at the comic book store on Monday was a fluke. Maybe she was delirious and in the fit of a fever- But it wasn't a fluke BeastBoy she's doing this all on purpose. She's trying to drive you insane! BeastBoy clenched his fists and crossed his forearms over his eyes. He took another deep breath only to have her warm earthy scent infiltrate his nose. She was really coming. BeastBoy's teeth clenched. His hands morphed into gorilla fists then back into human hands. He wished this would end already. He was losing his self-control along with his sanity.

The comic book store was just the beginning. She had staked out the Pizzeria and the ice cream parlor by Titians Tower on Tuesday. BeastBoy went nowhere near them. He had rather go hungry. There was little that Beast Boy would rather go hungry for, but he refused to go through the Terra trauma again. She was asking him for too much and he wouldn't give into her anymore. Why won't she understand that? But no, she was determined to reopen old wounds.

Wednesday, The Titians were fighting Killer Moth and Kitten when Terra appeared again like a reoccurring bad dream. One of Killer Moth's mutated larva had bashed BeastBoy into the concrete, that's when Terra ran to his "aid" "BeastBoy you're bleeding. Let me help you!" she had grabbed onto his arm. BeastBoy hadn't answered her, just pulled away from her grasp and flew back into battle. That wasn't the last of Terra that BeastBoy has seen for the week.

Thursday, BeastBoy came home to find Terra playing videogames with Cyborg in Titian Tower. "Get out. She isn't a titan! Why would anyone let her in here?" BeastBoy growled under his breath.

"BeastBoy I" Terra had tried to get a sentence in edgewise but BeastBoy heard nothing as he stormed into his room.

Friday Terra tried a different approach. She threw rocks up to his bedroom window. "BeastBoy!" She called up "I just want to talk to you. I- I- think I remember. I remember Terra." BeastBoy didn't call down to her. Instead he stayed away from the window and pretended that he wasn't in his room. Last night Terra rode up to BeastBoy's window on a boulder- like she had done nearly a lifetime ago- and said, "Go out with me?." BeastBoy closed the blinds and left the room fighting every nerve in his body that was telling him yes! I want to go with you! I want to trust you, I want to be with you!

She was here. Her scent overpowered Beast Boy's nostrils. BeastBoy took a deep breath and willed himself to be calm, to be resolved. This time she was coming straight for him and there was no way around her. A fist sized rocked smashed through the locking mechanism on BeastBoy's door. The door fell over. "Hey BeastBoy," Terra said casually. An excitement coursed through BeastBoy, an excitement he thought he killed a long time ago when he banished all his thoughts about Terra.

BeastBoy didn't move. He fought not to look at her. An animalistic growl bubbled from the black spaces Terra had left. She hurt you remember? All she ever does is hurt you! "But…" BeastBoy whimpered. He latched onto his hair bracing himself for what he knew was coming. Every time! Every time she leaves you. And every time she does she leaves you more broken and messed up than you were before! Is that what you want this time too! Did you forget how painful it was before? "No!" BeastBoy shouted over the voice in his head.

" BeastBoy?" Terra took another step into BeastBoy's room her arm outstretched reaching to touch him- comfort him wherever he was hurting.

"Get out," BeastBoy growled. His resolve was back. He was not going to fall under Terra's spell again. "How many times do you expect me to tell you? Get out. What do you want? A personal escort?"

"That'd be nice," Terra played along.

"Go ask Cyborg. I'm off duty."

"Come on, BeasBoy. When are you going to stop acting like this? I know I'm a grade A shitty human being, but this isn't you."

BeastBoy sat up with a fury. "How would you know?" he spat. His eyes were wild.

"Because," Terra's voice was soft. "When I was a part of the Teen Titians you and I connected. I know you BeastBoy. I know you BeastBoy, as much as I pretend or you pretend that I don't."

"That's not true!" BeastBoy was yelling but he didn't feel strong at all. He felt weak. He felt like everything he had worked so hard to pick up from the last wreckage was toppling over and there was nothing he could do but watch it fall.

"I miss you B," Terra said gently. She took another step toward him. "I just want to be with you and talk to you and go back to how we were." She put her arms around him.

For a second BeastBoy loved it, her smell her touch, her, then he remembered the pain and shoved her away from him.

Terra fell to the floor stupefied, sitting on a shock that kept her there.

"We can't!" BeastBoy once again grabbed onto his dark green hair, fighting for control. "Just go away!" He sheared through shark teeth. "Don't you get it? I want nothing to do with you." BeastBoy popped up and started pacing the area in front of his bed "I'm done being nice to you."

"I can't!" Terra yelled. "I can't just go away. I can't do that anymore!" Terra yelled louder. Terra wished BeastBoy would look at her for more than two seconds at a time. Terra wished that she could make everything right she just didn't know how. She was out of ideas. Tears started to fall down her cheeks and she couldn't wipe them from her face fast enough. "I'm sorry BeastBoy. I really am. I wish I could just make you happy and do what you say, but I can't just skip town anymore- not knowing you're here." Terra gave up on wiping away the never ending tears that feel from her eyes. "You don't understand. I don't want to forget you anymore. I can't. I can't pretend I don't know you anymore. I hear your voice in my head telling me to find you, to talk to you. BeastBoy it's driving me crazy! I'm falling apart." Terra hugged her knees to her chest trying to hide her shaking.

"Shut up." BeastBoy's words were hard, harder than any rock Terra ever manipulated. His fists shook at his sides. He was losing the fight to keep himself calm and under control. "You're acting like I didn't go through the exact, same, thing!" BeastBoy slammed his dresser to the ground. Wood splintered everywhere. BeastBoy didn't care. "I heard you crying out to me every night, I heard your laughter every day, I saw you everywhere!" BeastBoy got onto his knees in front of Terra and grabbed her forearms. "Terra do you know how hard that is to forget?" BeastBoy's voice was soft and vulnerable. His eyes were red and despite his tantrum and his strong grip on her he felt frail and helpless.

Terra nodded yes. "I do, BeastBoy. I did, and-"

"Argggggggh!" BeastBoy let Terra go and banged gorilla fists against the nearest wall. Plaster bled from the wall. "I don't want to remember your voice anymore. I don't want to remember your smile anymore, your laugh, your smell, any of it! I don't want to remember you anymore! It hurts." BeastBoy morphed his arms back into human form and stopped hitting the wall. "It hurts too much." BeastBoy turned to look at Terra. Distraught was written all over his face. He looked tired, and feeble, and young- as young as he was when he had met her. He was using all his strength to keep from shaking because he knew if he did he would start crying. He knew if he didn't use every ounce of energy he had left to controlling himself he would break apart.

Terra knew that too. She saw it all in the way he hung onto the wall. She wished he would let her in again. She wanted to reach out and hold him but she didn't want to be spurned again. So instead they sat there in silence.

"I loved you." He said after a long silence. "I waited for you, searched for you; you didn't care about that at all."

Terra hugged her knees tighter. She hated this. She did this to him. This was all her fault. All she could do left was open her mouth and say the only thing she could say. "I didn't want to hurt you. I was a wild card and you always got hurt when I was around you." Terra looked at BeastBoy wishing he would just look at her. Terra wished he would let her make everything right. She got to her feet and walked toward BeastBoy. She couldn't take it anymore. She turned his face towards her and held his jaw in the cup of her hands. "I was trying to protect you BeastBoy. You know how I feel about you." Terra went for BeastBoy's lips as if to prove her point.

BeastBoy pulled away nearly a half a second too late- a bitter hiss trailed after his lips. "Protect me?" BeastBoy trailed his fingers across the soft skin of her arms until he reached her wrists. First his grip was gentle, then- suddenly it became rougher. He pinned her to the massacred wall. BeastBoy laughed a bitter sound. "My girlfriend is the devil's daughter."

What? Terra felt as if BeastBoy had just slapped her. What did he just say?

"I didn't need to be protected," BeastBoy sneered. "I needed- no, I need someone who won't run away when times get tough, and all you know how to do is run away," BeastBoy released Terra then unable to hold onto her anymore- to be so close to her anymore. He made his way to the door. running his hands through his dark green hair. "You run cuz it makes you feel comfortable. Don't pretend that you're doing it for my protection."

"BeastBoy…I'm sorry." Terra took a cautious step toward him. "I didn't know what to do. I was young and untrained… I panicked. I-"

"Please," BeastBoy cut her off. "Stop. It's too late. Your apologies and your excuses are too late. The damage has been done" BeastBoy's fist knocked into the doorframe. "and done, and done, and done, and done!" BeastBoy stopped battering the wall and watched the remaining pieces of plaster fall to the floor. "More times than I deserve," he said softly. "Shut the door on your way out." And with that BeastBoy left the room.

*.*.*

Raven was awake. Most of the titans were awake actually. They were all listening to BeastBoy vent everything he had been bottling up all week. They had all been worried about BeastBoy throughout the week and they were all worried about him now. Though they all worried about him in their own way the titan that sat the most uneasy tonight was Raven. She sat awake in her room opening and closing her meditation book, not reading a word. She just kept worrying about BestBoy. You can't help him if he doesn't tell you what's wrong, You can't help him if he doesn't let you in. she told herself the same sentence that she told herself repeatedly that night. The banging had stopped. Raven waited for whatever was to come next.

There was a soft knock on Raven's door. Raven let out the breath she hadn't noticed she was holding. She levitated the book that she was playing with to rest in her lap then used her magic to open her door. She saw a mess of a BeastBoy in her doorway.

"Rae, Can I come in?" BeastBoy asked softly.

"Door's open," Raven said.

BeastBoy walked halfway into Raven's room then stopped. He looked as if he would fall over if he took one more step. Raven moved the book from her lap. She walked up to BeastBoy and gently put her arms around him; one hand rubbing the small of his back and the other bringing his head to her shoulder. BeastBoy closed his eyes. His muscles relaxed and all his weight fell into Raven's strength.

"Terra's back," BeastBoy said finally, his voice a couple octaves too high.

Raven took a steady breath. She had figured that was what had had him worked up. Terra was the only one that got him acting so crazed. "What are you going to do about it? Have you made up your mind?" BeastBoy's hands clenched into fists, his whole body once again becoming tense. Raven could feel his body shaking against hers. "BeastBoy it's okay. Whatever you decide is alright. Just tell me what you want." Raven knew how much BeastBoy loved Terra. She cared about him enough to let him go to her if it would stop him from self destructing. She just wanted to stop his inner turmoil.

"I just want…" BeastBoy started. Raven continued to rub the small of his back waiting for when he was ready. BeastBoy's arms fell limp at his side. "Someone who cares about me, someone who won't keep running away, Someone who stays by my side, someone I can hold onto and love and get love in return."

"I'm here." Raven said after a minute.

"I know," BeastBoy said after another minute. "You always were."

"Always will be," Raven said.

"Thank you."

*.*.*

"Then I'll wait BeastBoy," Terra whispered. She had followed BeastBoy to Raven's room and hid against the wall next to Raven's open door. "You waited for me to be ready to face all that I am guilty of. I can wait for your wounds to heal properly."

Raven pursed her lips and slightly tightened her arms around BeastBoy.

"Raven, I know you can hear me. I'm not skipping town this time. I'm not going anywhere. Not without BeastBoy. I'm coming back for him. I love him, and I think underneath all the rage there's a part of him that still loves me. He needs a little more time to sort all of that out. So, I'll come back, and if that means facing you next time, so be it. He's worth that much. Until next time, keep him safe for me." Then Terra made her exit from Titan Tower not for the last time.

Raven grit her teeth as an uneasy feeling trembled through her. Raven looked at the sleeping BeastBoy that she held in her arms, the one that she had grown so attached to over the years, and wondered if Terra would come through on her threat.

THE END?

AN: Well… there it is… after forever… but at least I finished it! Sort of… I might continue it if it is in demand. In hindsight… I didn't really put out any fires. I actually think I might have made things worse than where the show left it… oops. Well, anyway, tell me what you think.