Dirty Little Secret
By: esmtz
Once classes were over for the day Kenny started making his way towards Cartman's house since he never showed for the rest of his classes. As soon as he arrived he knocked on the door and waited until Cartman eventually opened it. Cartman frowned slightly as he let him in.
"Hey, Kenny. What are you doing here? I thought for sure you would be hanging out either with the guys or making out with some chick." Cartman asked as he closed the door and went back to sitting on the couch and watching TV.
Kenny paused for a second with his hands in his pockets before answering.
"I think you know why I'm here, Cartman." Kenny told him watching as Cartman slightly winced.
Cartman didn't respond as he kept looking at the TV with his fists clenched at his sides feeling a little nervous. Kenny sighed as he moved in front of the TV blocking his view.
"Move, Kenny I'm trying to watch TV." Cartman said not wanting to look him in the eye.
"Not until you tell me what the hell that was about with Stan and Wendy and don't play dumb because I know you know what I'm talking about." Kenny demanded crossing his arms and looking at him with a serious look on his face.
Cartman sighed as he relaxed his hands and looked at him before standing up and walking to the kitchen to grab something to drink. Kenny followed him and watched as he grabbed a coke from the refrigerator and opened it before turning to face him with a serious look on his face.
"To tell you the truth I have no idea what that was I just…" Cartman took a deep breath in then let it out and took a sip of his coke, "I don't know what came over me it just sort of happened."
"What sort of happened? Cartman you were just saying that they were nothing but stupid fucking hippies and then once you saw them going at it you gave WENDY that hateful glare."
Cartman shook his head as he set his coke down and looked at Kenny annoyed.
"No I gave them BOTH that look. Fucking hippies shouldn't be doing that in the hallways where people can see."
Kenny snorted.
"Yeah right then why did you run away? You could have just made fun of them like you usually would do so what's going on?"
Cartman growled.
"Nothing forget about it, Kenny."
Kenny didn't say anything for a few seconds as Cartman picked up his coke and took another drink from it.
"…Do you like Stan?" Kenny asked.
Cartman, caught by surprise, spit out the small amount of coke that he was just about to swallow and looked at him in horror.
"Are you fucking crazy, Kenny?! I hate that fucking hippie!" Cartman practically yelled making Kenny roll his eyes.
"Then when was the last time you actually insulted him and MEANT it?" Kenny asked.
Whenever Cartman insulted either him or Kyle it was always in a hateful way, but with Stan, whenever he did insult him, it wasn't as hateful. Cartman opened his mouth then closed it actually having to think about when the last time was when he did insult Stan. Cartman gritted his teeth.
"Look whether I insult him or not doesn't change the fact that I hate him. For god's sake he's almost as bad as Khal!"
Kenny raised an eyebrow.
"Oh really? How? It's not like you two are constantly fighting like you and Kyle are."
"No, but Stan is always the one Khal goes to talk to since they're freakin fags! I mean you don't see anyone else hanging around each other like those two queers do!" Cartman replied getting agitated that they were even having this conversation in the first place.
Kenny sighed shaking his head.
"If Stan had a thing for Kyle don't you think he'd be with him and not with Wendy? Dude, he's been in love with her all our lives." Kenny said.
Cartman snorted.
"And yet he still doesn't learn that she's a fucking slut. I bet you anything she's cheating on Stan and doesn't even know it. Fucking whore…" Cartman whispered that last part.
"So you'd rather have him be with a different girl?" Kenny asked trying to see if he can get a reaction out of him.
"Hell no! All girls are fucking sluts! He should just hang around with us and forget about ever dating another girl!" Cartman replied fuming slightly.
"Dude why do you even care?" Kenny asked raising an eyebrow.
"I don't."
"Then why are you trying so hard to convince yourself that he shouldn't date other girls or if he were to turn gay not be with Kyle?" Kenny asked.
"Because he shouldn't! For one if he and Khal started to date it would just get on everyone's nerves!" Cartman replied.
'More like your nerves.' Kenny thought to himself.
"…and two Stan doesn't need to get any closer to Khal than he already is now! Any closer and you might as well call them conjoined twins!" Cartman said taking a drink of his coke and trying to calm down.
"Cartman, seriously I think you need to chill. What Stan and Kyle does really isn't up to you. It's their choice on whether or not they want to date certain people even if it's each other."
This made Cartman slam his coke down on the table next to him making the rest of his drink spill all over the table and onto the floor. He didn't say anything however as he felt himself shake with anger and started making his way towards his bedroom. Kenny followed him and kept talking.
"Is this really just about Stan dude or is Kyle involved in this somehow?" Kenny asked as Cartman stopped walking and turned to face him angrily.
"Kenny, get the fuck out of my house! I am not talking to you about this anymore!"
"Fine, but I just thought you should know that I know all about your secret crush on Kyle as well."
Cartman's eyes went wide as he felt his face burn up.
"What the fuck are you talking about?! I don't have a thing going with that stupid kike!"
"Uh huh sure so every time you and Kyle fight and you guys start rolling around on the floor you getting turned on by it is just my imagination?" Kenny said trying hard not to laugh at the look that Cartman was giving him.
"I-I wasn't turned on by it! It was probably just hot outside or something…" Cartman mumbled.
"Yeah you keep telling yourself that. You're just in denial over the fact that you like both Stan and Kyle, who you keep callings fags but really who is the fag now?" Kenny smirked watching as Cartman grew angrier.
"GODDAMMIT, KENNY! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Cartman yelled not caring that most of the neighborhood most likely heard that.
"Jesus fatass it's not like its new or anything, dude. We've always known you were gay since you've never shown much interest in girls."
"I'M NOT A FAG YOU POOR PIECE OF CRAP!" Cartman yelled tightening his hands into fists shaking with rage, "If you keep saying that I am I'm going to fucking kill you!"
"Fine dude be in denial all you want but I know the truth since there's been quite a few times where I've really wondered to myself if you really liked Stan or Kyle like that at all." Kenny said before turning around and heading towards the door.
"What the hell are you talking about?" Cartman asked a little bit curious on where he was going with this.
Kenny stopped and turned back to look at him.
"Think about it dude why would you insult me, Kyle and Wendy so badly, but with Stan not so much. You even rip on Butters more than him and then there was that Christmas story you made about him back in the 4th grade. Why would you make up a story like that and put him as the main character and not you? You even gave him a happy ending."
Cartman was about to say something but Kenny cut him off.
"Then when Kyle and his family was in San Francisco during that smug storm you went out of your way to save them. Care to tell me why?" Kenny asked.
Cartman looked horrified as he struggled for words.
"…How did you…?"
"Butters told me."
Cartman sighed shaking his head.
"I'm going to fucking kill Butters. He wasn't supposed to say anything!" Cartman said growling slightly
Kenny rolled his eyes and looked at him seriously.
"You're not going to kill Butters. Listen I wont mention this to anyone especially Kyle. I figure that that's your job." Kenny told him.
Cartman didn't say anything as he figured that he probably could trust Kenny since it's not like he was a blabbermouth or anything. Cartman sighed and nodded.
"Fine."
Kenny nodded and started heading back towards the door.
"Cartman?" Kenny said not turning to look at him.
"Yeah?"
"If I were you I'd give it some thought about your relationship with both Stan and Kyle. Who knows maybe you thinking about it for once will actually help you in the future."
Cartman frowned not sure where Kenny was going with this.
"What do you mean?" Cartman asked.
"Nothing. I'll see you later." Kenny replied before walking out the door.
Cartman continued staring at the door for a few more seconds before sighing and heading back up to his room. He knew that Kenny was right about him but he didn't want to admit that to anyone let alone himself and of course that conversation he had with Kenny was only going to make him think more about his relationship with the other guys.
'Somehow I don't think I'm gunna get any sleep tonight.' Cartman thought to himself.
Author's notes: Believe it or not another chapter in just a couple of days after I posted the first chapter. So just a heads up I tend to be lazy or not inspired at all that chances are the story will most likely end up discontinued at some point, but I don't know yet. I still have a Left 4 Dead fic that I still have to finish and I'm lagging so badly on that. Also this story might lean more on StanxCartman but Kyle will still be in here getting so jealous that it'll be funny to me anyway. Also thanks for the support so far I really appreciate it and sorry if the story doesn't turn out the way you wanted it's just kinda what I wanted to write about.
