AN: I'm sorry for the delay; Real Life stuck his foot between the door and refused to be ignored... Anyways, thank you, Zedpm, for pointing out some mistakes in the first chapter (they should be fixed now...)! I'm afraid there will be more to follow, because late evening train rides are probably not the best setting for correcting your draft.
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2
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The very first thing I noticed upon waking up, was that the world wasn't moving anymore. No running, tripping, tumbling or exploding, just a firm stable bed.
The second thing was the absence of McKay.
Funny how I'd grown quite accustomed to having the snarky scientist at my side, the only constant factor during the past ordeal, and now I strangely missed his presence…
Well, what had I been expecting, really? McKay didn't 'do Florence Nightingale', as he -mortally affronted- had informed me when I had woken up after my 'giant tick' problem to find him tapping away on his laptop in a nearby chair and begged for a sip of water to alleviate my sore throat.
Despite all the whining, I had been provided with some delicious ice chips faster than any nurse had ever managed to procure them before.
Today, it seemed, Florence was repressed by Phineas Fogg, cooped up in a lab fawning over the petty alien gizmo I had very nearly laid down my life for, doubtlessly driving his white-coated minions to near-insanity with his constant nagging, pausing only to curse me for having the audacity to fall on top of 'his precious'…
Damn. Sometimes my inner voice started to sound suspiciously similar to McKay ranting…
I supposed I ought to be grateful that the man hadn't decided to stick around and treat me to one of his infamous tirades.
Nevertheless, hope soared briefly when a set of blue eyes appeared in my sight, only to fall again quickly when I recognized them as doctor Beckett's.
"Hi, doc…" I ventured tentatively, pleased to notice that my vocal cords were cooperating even though my throat felt like high noon in the Sahara.
"Hullo." Beckett smiled softly, but even in my drugged-induced haziness I noticed a deep sadness in his soulful eyes.
A straw was gently pressed against my parched lips and I gratefully accepted a few refreshing sips. "Thanks."
"You're welcome, lad." He muttered absent-mindedly as he fussed with the IV, a light frown marring his forehead. His eyes darted around quickly over the display of monitors, never fully meeting mine. Worry hung around him like a palpable cloud, and proved highly infectious. I was starting to feel decidedly unsettled myself.
Suddenly, my heart plummeted.
My legs!
I couldn't feel my legs!
Hadn't moved them since that fateful bullet had struck…
No! No, this couldn't be happening…
I'd rather have died on that godforsaken planet than spend the rest of my life being confined to a frickin' wheelchair!
Trust McKay to deny me a hero's death, and instead condemn me to the miserable excuse of a life as an invalid…
A panicked female yell startled me out of my wallowing in self-pity. "Code blue! He's crashing again!"
Beckett's head snapped up sharply and he took off like a bloodhound on a trail, shouting orders as he disappeared behind some privacy curtains. "Another dose of epinephrine! And get that defibrillator charged STAT!"
Whatever happened next behind those screens, I was only very vaguely aware of, as doctor Zelenka choose that exact moment to barrel into the infirmary, glasses askew and hair flying wildly in all directions, looking more agitated than I had ever seen him before. The second he spotted me, he made a beeline for my bed, not even bothering to wait to start rambling until he had actually reached it.
"Have you seen McKay? If this is joke, I am not amused! We are waiting for energy source to start calibrations and generator is getting close to overheating because of this delay!"
"Wow, easy there, doctor Z. Injured man here, just woken up…" I drawled. "And I haven't seen anyone except doctor Beckett and you yet…"
The little Czech suddenly looked very contrite as he only just now noticed the impressive array of medical paraphernalia blinking and blipping and dripping around my bed.
"Oh, I am very sorry, major…" He shrugged awkwardly. "I was just so excited about our project. Incorporating the energy source McKay managed to retrieve on that planet in Atlantean system could increase power output 10-fold…" He looked dreamily at the wall "Conceivably enough to activate shield…"
Well, that did sound impressive.
I suddenly had a new-found appreciation for McKay's stubborn tenancy to acquire the gadget. Only now did I fully understand why he had insisted it was worth the trouble and danger of retrieving it from a horde of angry natives. Why he had given little care for whatever it might cost us. And it seemed like it had been paid for dearly…
Anger born out of helplessness soared briefly. Why the hell hadn't McKay told me earlier that the funny looking doodad could very well be the key to safeguarding Atlantis from the swiftly approaching Wraith armada? The knowledge of what had been at stake would likely have kept me on my toes and would certainly have kept me from ignoring McKay.
Ignoring McKay...
Shame washed over me; a giant tsunami-like wave that swept me off the terra firma of my self-righteousness.
I had ignored him, badly. I had been bone-tired from late-night strategy planning, and the last shred of tolerance for hyper science geeks had evaporated when McKay had dragged me from my comfy bed at 5.30 am for yet another 'mission of great potential scientific value'.
Which I then had viewed as babysitting McKay while he played idly in his sandbox: an utter waist of valuable time and resources we could have used to strengthen our defences.
But he had managed to convert Elizabeth, and no amount of objecting from me would cancel the mission. So I had trudged along, too bored and sulky to follow the quirky leaps of McKay's genius mind.
Oh, yes, he had certainly kept reminding me of the utter importance of his gadget. Very vociferously, loudly and tediously.
Certainly, he had made several attempts to explain how the device could be integrated in the Atlantean system, but he had lost me somewhere between ionic impurities and condensator fluxes.
In hindsight, I could kick myself for my negligence.
Well, perhaps not physically kick anymore…
I harrumphed, pulling Zelenka out of his reverie.
The scientist blinked owlishly, before saying in a soft voice: "I was in control room when McKay radioed in, sounding very out-of-breath. Said you were shot badly and requested emergency medical team standing by. Then told me to ready generators so we could start calibrating energy source as soon as possible."
He paused briefly and looked down at his feet. "I got equipment all set up, but he did not come. It took us 5 hours to ready system, but he didn't come bringing the device. Kavanaugh…" Zelenka frowned in disgust, "insists McKay is hiding somewhere, figuring out the device on his own so he can take all credit…"
But his incredulous tone plainly revealed he didn't believe that particular scenario one bit.
Neither did I.
Yes, McKay could be egocentric and arrogant like hell, he would never put personal gain before the safety of Atlantis. Stepping into the energy creature had driven that point home quite effectively.
Zelenka's eyes darted around the infirmary.
And I suddenly realised why he'd come looking in here, of all places.
The only reason McKay would not be all over the allegedly most exciting scientific discovery of the year, would be if he felt compelled to keep vigilance at my sickbed '.. if only to keep Carson's voodoo in check'.
Either that, or…
Zelenka's eyes homed in on the privacy curtains behind which Beckett was desperately trying to save a life.
McKay's life…
The realisation left no room for doubt, and something in my chest constricted painfully in response.
Damn you, Sheppard! Not the entire frickin' galaxy is revolving around you! Yet, the only thing you've been doing the whole time, is feeling sorry for yourself while Rodney…
"John?" The soft whisper pulled me out of my thoughts. I opened eyes I didn't remember closing.
Concerned green eyes were examining me while a slender hand gently squeezed mine.
Elizabeth.
Where had she come from so quietly so fast? Unless she had already been there…
I attempted a grin for her benefit, no doubt failing spectacularly since I felt a lot more like crying.
Her own smile was rather tremulous as well.
Her warm grip on my hand suddenly paused in mid-squeeze when the tell-tale sound of a defibrillator discharging echoed in the infirmary.
Instead of the reassuring beep-beep-beep of a restored heartbeat, one continuous high pitched tone stole my breath away.
Carson's voice, cool and collected, rose easily above the din, demanding attention, spouting of medical jargon, concerting a renewed rescue attempt on his friend.
In between occasionally uttering words that might cause his mother to get a spontaneous heart-attack…
A very bad sign. When the usually soft-hearted and calm physician felt compelled to delve into his none-too-shabby collection of cuss words, things were going downhill… fast. There was only one stage past that. The silence of defeat…
Elizabeth's eyes were wide as they stared unseeingly at the wall. Her stance motionless as if she were afraid that her moving would somehow influence the situation.
Zelenka on the contrary had squeezed his eyes shut tightly, his lips moving frantically as if in soundless prayer.
Me, I begged to every deity in 2 galaxies that Beckett wouldn't suddenly stop swearing. That the racket behind those privacy curtains wouldn't suddenly quieten down. That McKay's stubbornness would prevent him from giving up…
Beep … beep… beep… beep… beep…
Right there and then I couldn't possibly imagine any more beautiful sound in the entire Pegasus Galaxy.
The speed and urgency of Beckett's orders was slowly dwindling down. Zelenka opened his eyes and we shared a look of pure relief.
Elizabeth suddenly noticed the bruising grip she still had on my hand and quickly let go, giving me a half-sheepish, half-apologising look.
Smiling at her went considerably easier this time.
The adrenaline still rushed through my body, waking up some particularly lethargic brain cells.
"What happened to McKay?" I whispered urgently, the concern for my team mate and quite possibly best friend temporarily pushing away my own physical discomfort.
Elizabeth dropped down on my bed with a heavy sigh, rubbing her forehead briefly with a shaky hand, before meeting my eyes.
"Three hours ahead of schedule, Rodney opened a wormhole and radioed in sounding panicked and breathless, asking for a medical team on standby when he would get through the gate within a couple of minutes. He said something about having to get rid of some enemy activity around the gate first, but it was difficult to understand with all the shooting at the background. At a given moment, we even thought we heard some sort of explosion over the open radio channel, and a minute later Rodney stumbled out of the wormhole, dragging you along and screaming for Carson to save you. While Carson proceeded to do just that, Rodney slid down to sit propped up against the stargate. It took me too long to realise he had passed out cold, and that not all of the blood on his uniform was yours…"
Elizabeth looked sad and somewhat guilty, but I was sure she didn't feel like one millionth of the ass as I did at that moment.
I still didn't understand what had happened exactly, but I got the sinking suspicion I had made a couple of serious misassumptions somewhere along the road.
The tight feeling in my chest became unbearable. Something squeezed my heart with chilling force, and air suddenly seemed elusive.
A high-pitched tone was the last thing I was aware of before gleeful darkness swallowed me whole.
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