Voldo is LONELY: Chapter 2
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Disclaimer: SC characters do not belong to me!
WARNING: May contain some shounen-ai themes (if that happens. Dunno.) And reading this might tone your brain down a notch.
One more note: Hehe, please don't mind the ethnic background jokes. They're just jokes, and they're not meant to be taken seriously.
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Voldo still did not meet his soul mate as he sat in his room, sewing a quilt. "Bunny rabbit, bunny rabbit, Voldo like. Kitty cat, kitty cat, Voldo like. Raphael, Raphael, why you not die?" he sang.
There was a knock on his door. He mumbled something, and the visitor came in. It was Talim. She grimaced at the scene. Voldo? Sewing? And singing? She shuddered but tried to smile.
"Voldo, can I borrow your scissors?" she asked.
Voldo thought about this little girl. "Hmm... Too young." He thought as he pointed to his drawers.
She picked through his "lingerie", and finally pulled out a pair of pink safety scissors. She shook her head as she replied, "I'm not a little girl anymore."
"Voldo watch Talim grow since she was little girl. Talim will ALWAYS be little girl to Voldo." he said mumbling. Ofcourse.
"... Right, thanks." she left the room.
He put his quilt down and began to think again. Who would his mate be? There was Xianghua, but would such a woman fall for someone like him...?
He began to plot. Voldo eavesdropped on Maxi's conversation with Kilik one time, and remembered how Xianghua liked heroes and knight-like figures.
"Good! Voldo will save Xianghua, and then she be mine!"
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Voldo sneaked up behind Xianghua, which caused her to shriek a little in fright. "Voldo! Don't sneak up on me like that!" she demanded.
He looked up at the hanging boulder that hung above the ceiling right above her. He would save her right before it crashes down upon her dainty body. He waited.
"Voldo... what do you want?" she asked, a little creeped out.
He mumbled something as he continued watching the hanging boulder, waiting for it to fall down.
"Yeah, well, I'd like some personal space, please."
SNAP! The boulder began to come down! Voldo snatched his beauty and rolled away from danger! The boulder smashed on the bench into a million pieces, with dust kicked up in the air!
Xianghua's eyes were wide in shock as she looked at Voldo who had just saved her life. She told him, "Voldo! You saved my life!"
He giggled under his mask. Her eyes then narrowed down as she looked back at the boulder. "What the hell was a boulder doing up there?"
He shrugged and waited for a kiss, but Kilik came.
"Xianghua! What happened here?" asked he. The stick boy ran over to his beloved. Or crush, whichever suits you.
"Kilik! That huge boulder came out of no where and almost crushed me!" she told him, "But Voldo saved me!"
"Hey, thanks man," said Kilik as he gave a thumb up to him. And he carried off Xianghua elsewhere.
Voldo crossed his legs in impatience as he spat, "Stick boy take away Voldo's trophy meat!"
Then Raphael entered the room. He whistled at the look of the damage. "I'd hate to be the guy who has to clean that up," he said as he raised a brow. The French man then spotted Voldo. He backed away a little, remembering their last encounter.
"Oh... Hola, mon ami."
Voldo scoffed as he crossed his arms, hissing, "Is Raphael French or Spanish? Voldo can't tell!"
"Yeah, well, I'll leave now..." said the Spanishy-French man. He tip-toed out of the room.
And Voldo began to think again. "Voldo decided that Asian people are hot. Voldo will hunt Asians now."
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Mitsurugi sat under a cherry tree, meditating. His eyes shot open when he felt a leering presence. He swiftly turned around, his hand grasped onto his katana and faced Voldo.
"Oh, Voldo, it's just you," he said in his gruff voice. Voldo squirmed in his spot a little sheepishly.
"So, what do you want?"
Voldo decided to try a different approach. He put his arms around the strong Japanese man and then whispered, "Am lumma keel you." Which sounded like, "I'm gonna kill you", but really meant, "I wanna kiss you." Either way, it was a sort of threat.
The samurai pushed Voldo harshly off of his back as he growled, "Get away from me, you disgusting beast."
Voldo whimpered as he retreated elsewhere, his feelings hurt.
"Okay... Mitsurugi not good for Voldo's health and heart," sighed Voldo. He then spied Taki, the ninja girl. She was very pretty indeed. Occasionally, she had said "hello" to him whenever she passed by.
"Mr. Voldo Voldo and Mrs. Taki Voldo... Voldo likes it!"
He caught up to her pace and she took notice of him. "Ohio-gozaimasu," she greeted him warmly.
Her voice seemed even more beautiful than it was three days ago. He mumbled his greetings back to her. She then asked him, "Did you prepare for the big tournament today?"
"Voldo train everyday," he told her as he rolled and slithered.
"Oh, right," she laughed, "You're always stretching about. Well, good luck to you."
"Wait," called Voldo. Taki looked back at the stretchy man.
"Yes?" she replied.
"V-Voldo likes Taki's butt," he stuttered. He didn't know any other flattering comments to say to her.
"Oh... um... thanks," she said, too weirded-out from his comment. Wasn't he a little too old for her...?
"Voldo would like Taki to be his wife," he said.
She bit her lower lip as her right eye twitched. It would be too mean to bluntly reply a no, so she chose her words carefully. Taki then bent down to Voldo's current level of height and told him softly, "No."
Voldo pouted, and tried to make his best puppy-eyes. But you can't see it.
She laughed and told him, "You'll find someone... it's just not me, okay?"
Taki was the nicest girlfriend he had for the past three minutes. Defeated, the mummified man slithered elsewhere.
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"Hey, did anyone else notice Voldo's weird behavior?" asked Cassandra.
"You mean even more weirder than usual?" asked Raphael. He sat uncomfortably onto his stool, "Yes."
"You don't suppose he's ill or something?" suggested Talim as she snipped away at a piece of paper. She was making a card for a special someone.
Ivy rolled her eyes as she replied, "Just let him be. He'll be fine. He's a grown man afterall... sort of."
Astaroth bellowed with laughter as he roared, "Don't you guys get it? Voldo's lonely! He wants someone with him!" He then made smoochy faces to his beloved Necrid who looked into Astaroth's dreamy blank eyes.
"But why would he be lonely? It's not like everyone's paired up with everyone..." said Talim as she began to draw on her card.
The people around her stared at the little girl and then laughed hard. Talim suddenly looked up from her card from the abrupt laughing and she frowned. "What? Am I missing something?"
"Look around you girl," said the alluring Ivy. "I'm with Siegfried, Yunsung is with Seung-Mina, Astaroth is with Necrid... it's all in the fanfics written by our fans!"
Link then entered the room as he waved to Talim, who blushed in response. He then hopped elsewhere.
"... Is Link paired up with anyone...?" she asked shyly.
"Hell yeah," said Raphael as he chortled and laughed. "One time Ivy got paired with the shorty!"
"Shut up!" growled she.
"Now she's stuck with a slightly taller shorty," he giggled.
"Siegfried isn't that short!"
"Says the six-foot woman..."
"Do you want to die?"
"Do you want another man?"
Ivy pondered this for a moment, and then she refused. "Don't make me call daddy..."
"Did someone say DADD-AY!?" screamed Cervantes as he caressed his daughter tightly. The pirate came out of no where. She groaned in embarrassment as he snuggled and squeezed his sweet pumpkin.
Everyone looked away. It was not something to watch for the weak-hearted.
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Voldo spied upon Yunsung. He thought carefully before carrying out his actions. "If Voldo wants red-headed Korean boy, then Voldo must think more!"
He crawled towards the Asian man and mumbled, "Do you like Super Junior?" It was a famous Korean boy band that consisted of thirteen different members.
Yunsung stared at Voldo as a smile steadily formed upon his face. "Yeah... yeah I do! What's your favourite song?"
After some researching on Youtube, Voldo knew most of the boy band's songs. "Voldo likes 'U' by SuJu."
"Aw yeah! Me too!" he laughed. Yunsung patted Voldo's back, "I didn't know you liked K-Pop."
"Voldo likes lots of Korean things!" he said as he pulled out a cute mechanical pencil that read, 'Made in Korea'.
"Sweet!" he laughed, "I appreciate that, buddy. Some of these otaku these days are praisin' the Japanese culture, paying no heed to other Asian ethnicities."
"Oh... Voldo hate otaku!" he smiled happily. Could Yunsung be the one?
"Hey, uh... what's that?" asked Yunsung as he pointed to a manga book. Voldo had been reading it for a while, and decided to bring it with him to read it later.
"Oh... uh... it is Tokyo Mew Mew..." replied Voldo, "... why?"
Yunsung began to twich an eye in anger. "You... you read this Japanese CRAP!?"
"No, no, no!! It... uh... Mitsurugi made Voldo read it!!" whimpered the man.
"Get away from me!" Yunsung then stormed off elsewhere, leaving Voldo in the dust.
Voldo began smacking his head with the manga repeatedly saying, "Stupid Voldo! Stupid Voldo!" Then he quickly brushed off the book and carressed it. "... But Voldo must find out what happens to Ichigo!"
So Voldo is alone once again. He only realized this when he had finished reading the manga. "Poor Ichigo! ... Poor Voldo..."
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OKAY! So that's the end of the chapter! Hehe, please excuse my Korean joke. I'm Korean aswell, but I think some Koreans take the whole "I hate Japan" thing too seriously. For me, I'm neutral about the whole thing, but otakus do bug me...
And I love Super Junior aswell! (Is a Heechul fan!)
Hehehe... but I seriously think that Tokyo Mewmew is crap.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter! And for the last time; please don't take the jokes too seriously! It's just meant for a little fun. For the record; Some Japanese people dislike Koreans as some Koreans dislike Japanese people.
Yep... thank-you for reading.
