Shruncan
Rumpelstiltchris: It's a beautiful day in the swamp. The dragon flies are buzzing, the wind is blissfully blowing the reeds, and nothing can possibly… (Sniff) OH MY GOD! What is that smell? My nose is burning.
The camera moves to reveal an outhouse in front of the reeds. A flushing sound can be heard and someone comes out.
Rumpelstiltchris: So much for a peaceful opening.
The screen changes to the inside of the outhouse. There's an ogre with a dirty shirt, brown pants, a green Mohawk, and some piercings.
Shruncan: Hey, I'm Shruncan. I just joined Mirrorbook. By the way, I am an ogre and I am not tiny! I don't know why I'm named Shruncan . Do these look shrunk? ( He shows his biceps). Ask my no-good parents, Shmike and Shminda why. I joined Mirrorbook to give you all a warning. I don't like you. And if I ever catch you in my swamp you are going to get. By the way whoever's been leaving their trash around. Knock it off or you're gonna get trashed.
Shruncan shows the flier to the camera. It reads "Fairy Tale Creatures Wanted".
The camera buzzes and shows a line of people with fairies and witches on leashes and chains with dwarfs in the background. In line there is an old woman with a donkey on a leash.
Knight: NEXT!
The old woman walks forward.
Camera buzzes to a hut.
Donkey: Hey everyone. I'm Donkey. I know what you're thinking and yes my parents weren't very good at names... or talking, but I am. Only because my first owner was a wizard in training and used me as a practice dummy. But about 98.73% donkeys can't talk either. One percent of them are mules and the other.27% are turned into frogs or just half of them are left. I my last friend left me here with his grandma to keep her company. Too bad, I was almost done telling him about how fast a pixie's wing beats per second.
Camera buzzes to old lady.
Old Woman: (Sarcastically) Very funny Andrew. Very funny. Worst birthday present ever.
Camera buzzes back to Old Woman.
Knight: What do you have?
Old Woman: I have here a talking donkey. Who knows tons of smart stuff.
Knight: How can you tell?
Old Woman: He's wearing glasses like a nerd.
Knight: OK (writing down) Near… Sighted… Donkey. How do you now he talks?
Old Woman: Just watch. C'mon. C'mon talk.
Silence. Then a cricket starts chirping.
Pinocchio: Hey, Jiminy help!
Jimminy: Sorry kid. I can't do everything for you.
Old Woman: Oh come on. You were blabbering on last night about trees last night. Yet when I finally ask you to talk, you shut up.
Knight: I'm sorry but we can't take him. GUARDS!
Old Woman: No wait! Uhhhh. You could still use him for donkey meat.
Knight: (Thinking about it) Hmmmmm.
Donkey: Linda! How could you!
Old Woman: Aha!
Donkey: Uh-oh.
Suddenly the donkey kicks the old woman and runs off into the forest.
Knight: After him! We can still serve him to the prisoners.
Prisoners: HEY!
Donkey is running for his life from guards.
Donkey: First trying to be sold by an old lady, now running for my life. What else could go wrong?
Before he could answer himself, he ran into something hard.
Donkey: (thinking) Now I hit a boulder. Wait, is it hissing?
Before he could answer again he felt himself be grabbed and came face to face with an ogre with a can of spray paint.
Shruncan: Grrrrrrrr.
Donkey: (Gulp)
Suddenly the guards finally catch up. Shruncan stares at them.
Guard 1: You there, giant creature. Hand over the donkey.
Shruncan: Oh, this is your donkey?
Guard 2: Yes, now give it to us or we will use force.
After hearing this he puts the donkey down.
Shruncan: (Grinning) So you're saying that you want me to give it to you?
Guard 2: YES!
BAM! Shruncan uppercuts the second guard straight into the air, which then disappears from sight.
Shruncan: Hey, he wanted me to give it to him. Do you want some too?
The other guard trembles and then runs away screaming.
Shruncan: And don't come back!
Then Shruncan suddenly hears shallow breathing and looks down. He then sees that the dude forgot the donkey.
Donkey: You. Just. Saved. My. Life.
Shruncan: Yeah, now go away.
Donkey: How high do you think he went? Depending on how hard you hit him, his weight, and wind velocity. Can I feel your muscle to determine?
Shruncan then stops and roars at Donkey stops.
Donkey: (pulls something out) Tic-tac?
Shruncan: What? NO! Get away from me.
Shruncan starts to leave but Donkey follows.
Donkey: Are you kidding? They'd kill me. But I know you wouldn't. Besides they might follow me here. Hey is this your house?
Suddenly Donkey and Shruncan come to his house.
Donkey: Can I come in?
Shruncan: NO! You can stay here for one night and that's it. And you can't come inside. Got it?
Donkey: Got it.
Buzzes to outhouse
Shruncan: Look the only reason I'm letting that twerp stay here is so that those guards think that I killed him. Plus, hey I might find a use for him. Or ditch him for dead in the swamp.
Buzzes to Donkey.
Donkey: Shruncan is the best. He's the only person I know who would beat someone up to save me. I feel like I trust him.
Later that night, Shruncan comes out and finds tons of fairy tale creatures outside.
Shruncan: (Angrily) DOOOOOOONKEEEEEEEEEEEEY !
Donkey: Yeah?
Shruncan: What the heck are all these fairy tale creatures doing here?
Donkey: I don't know. I was here the whole time. Now can I move?
Shruncan: Sure. Now what are you doing in my swamp?
Fairy: Lord Farqnoah sent us here. He's rounding up all the fairy tale creatures and arresting them.
Shruncan looks around at all the creatures.
Shruncan: All right everybody. It seems what Farqnoah has done is cruel, evil, and unforgiving. Someone needs to do something. That someone is me. I am going to go march over to him right now and give him a piece of my mind.
Creatures: YAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Shruncan: Now who knows where he lives.
No one responds except Donkey.
Shruncan: (Groan) alright come on.
Camera buzzes to outhouse
Shruncan: Yep, I meant every word out there. What he did was messed up. Dumping all those fairy tale creatures on me is not cool. He is going down.
As Shruncan and Donkey leave the creatures cheer.
Shruncan: I have two things to tell you. One, no talking unless its important. Two, Who the heck is Farqnoah?
The Screen zooms out to Rumpelstiltchris's house/
Rumpelstiltchris: OOOOOOOhhhh. Spicy. What will happen to Shruncen and Donkey? Will Shruncen ever get rid of those fairy tale creatures? Who is Farqnoah? An when will the second guard ever come down? Find out next time on Grimbros. Presents. SHRUNCAN!
That's it for part one, I will be working on part two but it may take awhile.
