Maria
I was never a party girl. It's not that I don't like the excitement of them and watching the people enjoy themselves, that's the best part about them! I just don't particularly feel all that comfortable around people I don't know and having to offer small talk is a killer. I am not one for it at all and I feel I only come up looking like a fool every time. It seems I am the kind of person that in a social setting will stick with only the ones she knows and has a deep connection with. That was why I was mostly with the children this past night or I was off by myself, trying to stay out of everyone's way.
In true fashion, I ended up getting in my own way. I had walked back into the courtyard only to find Friedrich and Liesel dancing with each other. I thought that was so sweet to see a brother and a sister dancing like that. I'm happy the children have had each other all these years and how I wish I had a sibling or two when life got horrible. I couldn't help but speak up about how great they looked to me while they were dancing. That was when Kurt stepped up with a joke and made everybody laugh. I love Kurt; he has such a beautiful soul to match his beautiful face. I wish not only for Kurt but for all of them that life is never so unkind to them that they lose their sweetness. I guess it almost happened once.
The Landler Waltz blared through the house and into the outdoors. Kurt wondered out loud what kind of dance it was and I told him. That was when he asked me to dance. Oh, the horror I felt! He begged me anyway and sure enough I was up there with Kurt, butchering the dance with every step I took. The Captain noticed our awkward situation and told Kurt that he would take over.
"What is he doing?"
That's what I thought to myself. I didn't have much time to react it seems as he swept me away and I mean swept me away. It all had come back to me and I have never felt so alive than I was during those few minutes. Then I had the urge to just stop because I figure I couldn't take it all in. Brigitta noticed my blushed cheeks and then to add to my horror, Baroness Schraeder noticed everything. I could have died, maybe I did die those few minutes? It seems grace had overcome me.
I went to sleep with the children after they sang their song. What was I thinking? There was no way I could sleep after that. Something inside me stirred and made me feel so...good. I don't even know what I'm still feeling. Like my soul is on fire, that's the only way I could describe it. I get out of bed and creep down the stairs once I feel I am in the clear. I had to get this energy out of me and I felt the only way I could was to do the dance over again. I didn't care if I had to do it by myself. I spinned, I twirled and with the image of Georg still leading me, I floated.
I did see you, Georg. I will never let you know that but I did see you taking a peek at me. I hope you enjoyed the view. I actually had to hold back my laughter as you skidded away into another room. You looked like such a little boy, so charming. Thing is though, I heard someone else laughing and it wasn't you. I know that little boy's laugh and I could only imagine what he's thinking or even what he'll say...
