Saying goodbye had become so frequent in Petunia's life that she wasn't really affected by them anymore. It was just a word, and in most cases you saw the person again.
Not this time.
This was one goodbye she would... regret. Slightly, maybe. But it was too late for regrets now, 16 years had passed, 16 years of solid dislike and what would it do to say everything you actually meant now.
Her son had said goodbye, even her husband had even managed something like it. But somehow she couldn't. A bang, the front door had been opened and closed. Dudley had gone.
She quickly stuffed her handkerchief in her pocket. She was determined not to look back. He probably wouldn't even reply anyway. One word and she would leave. And forever have the normal life she had longed for.
"Well...Goodbye."
"Goodbye"
The word was somehow tinted with sadness and regret. She didn't want that. She didn't want to leave before telling him, so that maybe he would understand why she had to do it. She had to or else...what? She couldn't abandon the years of hate and prejudice her life had become. This was something that had always stayed constant. Something stirred, a dormant feeling. Almost like...maternal love. Impossible. She'd never felt like this towards him. Towards Dudley maybe, but those feelings had long since been quashed when he started prefering Vernon. It was so strange. And she had to see his face one last time, to make absolutely sure that's what it was.
So she did what she promised she wouldn't do, she turned back.
And she saw a flicker of surprise in those deep green eyes. The green eyes of her sister.
Eyes she would never see again.
She closed her eyes for a moment, holding back the sorrow. The moment didn't pass like it always had before. This was a hole in her heart, one that had been trying to open for years and had now burst free. It was as if, only now she'd realised her sister was dead.
Ironically, it was an eye opener.
She teetered back and forth and her toes, biting her lips, words she so desperately needed to say wanting to spill out, but years of habit kept her from letting them out. He waited, surprised, a little anxious and curious.
It was astonishing how much emotion a pair of deep green eyes could convey.
She wanted to say everything and nothing, she wanted to say sorry but scream at him for just being who he was. For being different and making her feel low, again. For being second best again. So she'd made him feel second best. But despite how much she denied it, she was proud of him. For enduring everything and carrying on, for standing up for himself when he was being pushed about, for showing them he was angry rather than hidng it away, showing her that she was wrong.
And now he soon would step out into the dark night to meet his fate. A destiny and prohecy too terrible for anyone to have to bear. The boy had so much courage. She wished she'd admired that while she could.
She shook her head quickly and scuttled away, it wouldn't do for him to read her face. Even though she'd always said she was stupid, she knew he was quite the opposite. The door closed with a small click.
Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. "I'm sorry" she said aloud, once. But she was sure he didn't hear it and it didn't clear her conscience. I should have done more. If only I'd...
But Petunia already knew how much torment those words could bring her.
So she wiped her tears away, fixed a stony expression on her face and walked away.
After all, goodbyes don't mean anything, do they?
