Thanks for all the feedback!
I brought some people from the past back, so here's from when they are:
Marauders, Lily, Regulus, Severus - Two Months before the OWL thing, Tonks - her fifth year (1988), Fred and Collin - just before the BoH ...that should be all.
Okay now this it the first Chapter in which I deleted the text (which was more fun than I expected), but I also made some changes concerning the comments too. And most likely will do this in the following Chapters too, so I'd advice you to read all Chapters again some time, unless this story has as of now 15 Chapters or more, but that should not be before July 2016 (or even later, depending on how busy I get).
Due to this there are currently several inconsistencies in this story, but they will be fixed.
"This one is titled Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, whatever that is. Chapter One: The Boy Who Lived…"
The first thing the group learned when Tony started to read was that the Dursleys were proud of being normal.
"Why would anyone want to be normal?" Darcy questioned, disgust and confusion clearly showing on her face. "It's dead boring."
The book said something which could be paraphrased as thanks a lot.
"You're very welcome," Clint and Tony chorused.
Steve and Natasha just rolled their eyes, while Darcy gave them a thumbs up, Pepper and Bruce gave the two a weak smile and Thor grinned.
Tony continued and we are told that the Dursleys are not people you would suspect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious.
"And that's wrong," Bruce concluded.
"Why do you think that?" Jane asked.
"Well, Harry is obviously part in something strange or mysterious, otherwise he wouldn't be here. This is a book about him, so they have something to do with him. Seeing they have another last name, I guess aunt and uncle. They just don't sound old enough to be grandparents. Am I right, Harry?" Bruce explained
"Yes. These people are my family," Harry confirmed, careful to keep a neutral expression on his face.
Some of the Avengers noticed this and started worrying.
Tony reads out that the Dursleys do not like anything out of the ordinary.
"I'm already sorry for you," Tony stated.
"Me too," Clint added.
"Me three," Darcy joined in," that's a thing, right?"
Pepper shook her head. "I don't think so."
"Then I'll make it a thing," Darcy declared.
The book tells us that Mr. Dursley is the director of Grunnings.
"Grunnings?", Pepper asked frowning, "I know that name. But why?"
We learn that Grunnings produces drills.
"Ah, that's why", Pepper answered herself, "They asked to help at Chicago Stark Tower"
"Decline later", Tony ordered, "I want nothing to do with them if," he paused to check for Mr. Dursley's first name," if Vernon is any indicator for the rest of the firm."
"They might not be," Pepper reminded him, shaking her head.
Tony shrugged. "Then give them a trial type thing and fire them if they are more boring than average."
Mr. Dursley is described as a big, beefy man with hardly any neck and a very large mustache.
"Wow, he sounds handsome," the sarcasm in her voice more than obvious.
The book tells us the physical (thin, blonde, nearly twice the usual amount of neck) description of Mrs. Dursley
"So they cancel each other out?" Jane wondered, "Neck-wise at least."
Betty agreed, "Looks like it."
The book characterizes Mrs. Dursley by mentioning her habit of spying on neighbors.
"Doesn't she have anything better to do?" Betty wondered, "Doesn't she work? Even if she is 'only' a housewife, there should be more important things."
Everyone else agreed with her.
We learn of the son of the Dursleys who is called Dudley.
Harry snorted.
"What?" Natasha asked.
"Lets just say that small would be the last word you would use to describe my cousin at that point of time," Harry answered grinning.
We learn that the Dursleys think Dudley is the best boy of all time
"Pretty sure every parent thinks that," Betty stated.
"I beg to differ," Tony whispered before continuing, not particularly wanting to talk about Howard (going by the looks on their faces, Bruce and Clint seemed to agree with him).
We learn that they have a deep dark secret they do not want anyone to discover.
"Uhhhhh, blackmail," Tony laughed, rubbing his hands together in a way you'd expect from a movie villain.
Thor looked confused and asked, "What is this 'blackmail' you speak of?"
"It means when you have information about someone this person doesn't want publish and you use that to your advantage," Loki answered out of the corner," No one in the other realms ever thought to invent a word for it to my knowledge."
Everyone jumped and the Avengers and Fury aimed whatever weapons they had on them at the green-eyed god. Darcy grabbed her teaser and Harry pointed a stick at him.
"Calm down, I do not plan to hurt anyone. I just wanted to introduce myself to young Harry here and give him a pleasant surprise." He turned to Harry. "I am Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim. God of fire, mischief, chaos, lies and magic. You might have heard of me."
"I have indeed," Harry replied, looking even paler than before. The others wondered why, even though Thor had a suspicion.
There was a big light and suddenly eleven additional people stood in the room. Most of them returned to their fight position (they had relaxed slightly), but Harry looked close to tears.
Bruce noticed this first and asked, "You know these people, Harry?"
"Yes. Most of them are dead though."
Everyone but Loki and Harry blinked a few times at this.
Eventually a black haired teen in silver and green who seemed to be the youngest of the lot deadpanned, "What."
"You are in 2014," Harry explained.
"Still, that'd make us around fifty. We shouldn't be dead!" Another boy, dressed in red and gold, who looked like he might be the brother of the first boy, protested.
"It will be in these books we are reading. May I introduce: Regulus and Sirius Black - yes they are brothers, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Severus Snape, Lily Evans, Nymphadora Tonks - you should only use her first name, Teddy, Colin Creevey and Fred Weasley", he motioned to everyone in turn, "Thor Odinson, Nick Fury, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Betty Ross, Loki, Pepper Potts, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Bruce Banner, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, and I am Harry Potter. We're reading books about my life. The chapter at this moment is on November first, 1981" Harry turned to Fury, "I will invite Fred's twin George who might bring his kids."
"The twin is okay, but no one else."
Meanwhile several people were thinking about some of the names they just heard. Nymphadora for example wondered what her cousins were doing here, while Fred did the same for Pettigrew and Snape.
Lily and Severus quietly discussed whether or not Steve Rogers was the Steve Rogers and the man in question summarized what they had heard so far.
After a minute or two Tony started reading again.
The first thing we learn after Tony started reading again is that the fear the Dursleys had mentioned before was anyone finding out about their relation to the Potters.
"Who are we reading about? We Potters are awesome!" James protested.
"These people are you sister-in-law and her husband," Tony informed him.
"So either James' wife is horrible too or one of them is the odd one in the family, got it." Sirius nodded.
The book informs us that Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Dursley are sisters.
Lily was trying to remember the last name of her sister's new boyfriend. She thought it might be Dursley, but that couldn't possibly… or perhaps Vernon had a brother and Potter married the sister of the brother's wife. Yes, that must be it.
We learn that Mrs. Dursley pretended her sister did not exist and that they had not met for several years.
That however sounded alarmingly like Petunia.
Tony reads out that Mrs. Dursley thinks Mr. Potter (James) is good-for-nothing.
"James is not good-for-nothing!," Sirius exclaimed, before starting to list instances where James was good for something in a way no one understood a single thing.
Severus wasn't so sure about that, but he was smart enough not to say anything out loud.
Unfortunately for him there were several people trained to nitoe the tiniest differences in statute or expression, so there were still people who knew.
"Get used to this kind of comments," Harry advised.
Apparently the Potters are as 'unDursleyish' as possible, according to the book.
"Since when is 'unDursleyish' a word?" Tony wondered, interrupting himself.
"Oh, excuse them for not being ugly and boring. I didn't know that was a crime," Clint joked before anyone could answer Tony's question.
Almost everyone smiled, grinned or laughed.
We get to know that the Dursleys do not want their neighbors to see the Potters walking down Privet Drive.
"Remus, Peter, Sirius, I think I know what we will do just as soon as we figure out where they live," James smiled.
His friends saluted with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Tony reads out that the Dursleys know that the Potters also have a young son, but that neither of them had seen each other.
"Those were the only good times before I was eleven," Harry mumbled, causing those with enhanced hearing to wonder what happened.
The book tells us that the Dursleys think that Harry would be a bad influence on Dudley and thus have another reason not to contact the Potters.
"Excuse me?" James and Sirius exclaimed, in sync.
Remus glared at them. "You practiced that. Admit it."
"What? No," Sirius dragged the last word out for way longer than necessary.
We learn that it was Tuesday in the book
"If it only starts now, what was everything before?" Colin questioned.
"I like this one," Lily stated.
We learn that the was day a boring and completely normal
"I think its is especially on those days when these things happen," Pepper pointed out.
"Yes, you're right," Tony affirmed.
"Unless Lord Thunderbritches over there is involved," Darcy disagreed.
Mr. Dursley prefers boring ties.
"This man has issues. Most boring tie?" Sirius protested.
"Why not the most interesting one?" Peter agreed.
Dudley was throwing a temper tantrum and Mrs. Dursley informed anyone listening (or not) of the newest gossip
"Even I know that is bad parenting," Teddy stated.
A large, tawny owl flew by unnoticed.
"Are they blind?" James wondered.
"Baby Dudley was screaming," Harry deadpanned, "That needs all attention possible."
Mr. Dursley left for work but could not kiss Dudley good-bye.
"Why?" Colin inquired, "He doesn't strike me as the smallest baby. Or toddler. Whatever he is at this point."
Dudley threw cereal at the walls.
It took him fifteen years to stop that, Harry thought to himself.
Mr. Dursley was being a bad parent by saying 'Little tyke' instead of telling his son not to do this again.
"You shouldn't encourage this!" Betty protested.
Mr. Dursley drove his car and at the corner he noticed a cat reading a map, the first unusual thing of the day.
"Tony, are you sure you read this correctly?" Clint wondered.
Tony nodded.
The muggles looked perplexed.
"Why is a-", Bruce wanted to know.
"Ignore it," Harry interrupted, "If you would be so kind to continue, Mr. Stark?"
"It's Tony. I'll be cliché and say: Mr. Stark was my father."
Mr. Dursley needed to make sure he saw what he thought he saw.
"Not the safest thing to do while driving." Steve shook his head.
Mr. Dursley was in denial about the fact that he saw a cat reading a map.
"I dare say that this is more than imagination," Jane theorized.
Mr. Dursley and the cat started a staring contest.
"Thank goodness for peripheral vision," Lily stated.
"What? Peripal Fision?" Sirius questioned.
"Peripheral vision," Lily corrected, "It's basically the ability to see something from the corner of your eyes."
"Ah, thanks Lils."
"My name is Lily," she threatened, "you better remember that, Black."
After all cats are not able to do this. Neither can they read signs, even if it looks like it.
"Unless it's Minnie," Sirius whispered to the other Marauders.
"No way. What would she be doing there? She has enough to do as it is. One Galleon?" James asked.
Sirius shrugged. "Sure. It's your money."
Mr. Dursley shook himself and began to think of his job.
"This guy has a one track mind," Clint declared.
"Or he does not have enough brain cells for mor-OW! Pepper!"
"Be nice," she admonished her boyfriend.
Tony crossed his arms. "Not to assholes who cannot hear me."
On the edge of town Mr. Dursley had to stop thinking about his job.
"Finally! Something interesting is happening!" Darcy cheered.
Mr. Dursley saw 'funny dressed people' while being stuck in the everyday traffic jam
"Wow. Big deal," Darcy snorted, "If a Norse got falls from the sky and you hit him with your car then we'll talk."
While Thor grinned sheepishly, Loki and Tony grinned and the wizards and witches blinked a couple of times.
"Excuse me, what?" Remus eventually questioned.
"Our lives are not exactly normal," Betty summarized.
Mr. Dursley loathes people dressing unordinary, so he mentally ranted about young people and their stupid new fashions.
"Actually it's a cool, practical old fashion," Teddy corrected.
"Practical?" Lily questioned.
"Great for stepping on other people's feet without third parties noticing," Teddy grinned.
Mr. Dursley calls those people weirdos.
"Don't insult people!" Steve criticized, "You just become a bully by doing this!"
"Sadly bully seems to be my uncle's job description and motto."
Mr. Dursley, after insulting the people in cloaks, notices that it can't be teenage fashion, as there were quite old people in the crowd. How dare they!
"Just because it's the Slytherin color..." Regulus whispered to Severus.
"I doubt it."
"It was a joke."
Mr. Dursley, again in denial, had the thought that the people were collecting for something.
"If that's how all muggles think it's no wonder that-" Harry put his hand over Regulus' mouth.
"I think it would be more fun to make them guess."
The Marauders, Tonks, Teddy, Loki and Fred immediately voiced their agreement.
Then the traffic moved and he got to work, thinking about drills again.
"One track mind. Drills aren't that exciting," Sirius stated.
"What are these drills?" Regulus wondered.
"How would you know that?" Severus sneered.
"All four of us are taking Muggle studies," Sirius answered while Remus and James were nodding along, "And you know that, except for Peter, we all are in the top five with Lily and that Ravenclaw, Leo Daniels or something. No offense Peter."
"What is muggle studies? How can you not know what drills are?" Tony asked the wizards who refused to answer.
We learn Mr. Dursley sits with his back to the window.
"And we need to know that because?" Regulus wondered.
This is relevant as otherwise he might have been distracted from the drills.
"I would find it hard to concentrate on drills at any given point of time," Clint stated.
Owls were flying during the day.
"Okay… this is odd," Betty observed.
Everyone was very excited, pointing at the owls.
"I would too," Bruce agreed.
People did not often see owls.
"Really?" Regulus questioned.
"Really," Severus answered.
Mr. Dursley's perfectly normal morning seemed to consist mainly of shouting.
"Productive," Tony commented sarcastically, "Especially since yelling normally indicates that something is wrong."
Shouting seems to put Mr. Dursley into a good mood, so he was in one until lunchtime.
"That's his good mood?" Tonks asked perplexed.
"Yeah, you don't wanna see him in a bad mood," Harry answered shuddering.
Tony, Natasha, Clint and Bruce were looking at each other. They all had concluded the same thing: abuse. As did Sirius and Severus, but they kept their conclusion to themselves. Except for Severus every person mentioned was getting at least slightly angry.
The book claimed that Mr. Dursley used this brain to think.
"He can think?" Tony questioned sounding honestly surprised.
The book claimed that Mr. Dursley would voluntarily move his legs.
"What?" Clint sounded as if he seriously doubted that.
The book further claimed that Mr. Dursley – are you ready to hear this – walked.
"He does exercise? I'm seriously worried now," Darcy continued.
The book was by now absolutely ridiculous and dared to claim that Mr. Dursley would move down the building and across the road.
"Okay, the apocalypse started! Save yourself!" Fred shouted, hiding under the table.
The book came to its senses and explained that food was the reason for Mr. Dursley's strange behavior. A bun, to be precise.
"That explains it...Wait...Just one?" Remus asked while Fred crawled out from under the table.
We learn that Mr. Dursley is at best forgetful and at worst an amnesiac, as he had already forgotten the people he insulted the entire length of the way to his job.
"His short term memory needs some training," Jane stated.
Her assistant snorted. "Because yours is so great Miss I-forget-to-bring-my-wallet-more-often-than-not."
We also are informed that he met one of these groups again.
Sounds like Vernon, Lily thought, worrying about the implications that had.
These people 'made him uneasy'.
"Because he sounds like the kind of person my father is," Betty sighed, "Uneasy and violent around everything out of their worldview."
Mr. Dursley was forced to change his theory (the groups collecting for something) as not one person had a collection tin. He also broke his promise, although that is slightly exaggerated, to buy a bun by buying a doughnut instead.
"Okay, it was a large dough...I thought he wanted a bun," James wondered.
Lily shook her head in annoyance. "People are allowed to change their minds, Potter."
Mr. Dursley spied on them and heard the group gossiping about the Potters and their son Harry. He froze in a way you could, had he not been standing, mistake for him being dead and this is why it was described as 'Stopped dead'.
"Might have been better if this were literal," Harry whispered, seemingly not noticing he was doing it.
Mr. Dursley, terrified, thought for a second about asking them for more detail (or something), but then did something he had never done before. He ran. Voluntary.
"I call bullshit," Darcy argued.
Mr. Dursley told his secretary quite rudely that he did not want to be disturbed.
"She was most likely glad about this," Pepper stated with conviction and understanding, having been in a similar situation once.
"I'm sorry," Tony apologized.
He nearly called home.
"He sounds slightly bipolar," Betty pointed out.
Mr. Dursley stopped as he made the most important discovery since the wheel: He was stupid.
"Acceptance is the first step to recovery," Remus explained wisely.
"Shame it didn't work. I personally think he was to stupid to remember this." Teddy smiled. Finally he was able to talk with his father, even if the man did not yet know he was his son.
The book gives us the information that Potter is indeed a quite common name.
"It is!" James protested
Harry shook his head. "In the muggle world it's rather common. As is Black."
"Really?" the Black brothers asked - which totally sounds like a band, don't you think - Sirius looking hopeful and Regulus horrified.
"Yes, it's a quite common last name. I believe I had three unrelated people with that last name in my class in Elementary School," Lily confirmed.
"What is a muggle?" Jane asked, receiving no answer.
Mr. Dursley had never seen the boy-whose-name-he-forgot. And he was yet again in denial, as he reminded himself that there were a lot of Harry Potters in Britain.
"Sounds like Howard. He first saw me when I turned one I believe," Tony mused.
We gain further evidence that Mr. Dursley is at least forgetful, as he does not know, if the name of his nephew is Harry, Harvey or Harold.
"As if I would name my son Harvey." James snorted. "I'd like not to be killed by Sirius"
"I have thought about naming my child Harold though", Lily voiced her thoughts, "My maternal uncle who died from cancer last year had that name."
"Well, my grandfather was called Henry, so I guess that is where the name comes from," James proposed, not daring to hope Lily might be Harry's mother.
Mrs. Dursley is being a bad sister and always turns upset when you mention her. You're only allowed to do this, if the sister is a) injured, b) endangered, c) ill (and more than a cold) or d) dead. To her knowledge, none of these were the case.
Oh shit. I might be Potter's wife, Lily thought, somehow managing to keep a straight face.
Mr. Dursley was ashamed for his wife's sister and thought – more like implied actually – his sister is way better.
"Your sister has a mustache and drowns puppies," Harry deadpanned.
"She does what?" Darcy questioned a slightly psychopathic look (of horror) on her face.
"Why would she do this?" Bruce wondered, remembering his dog, Samson, in Brazil.
"She is a sadistic woman."
Mr. Dursley had problems concentrating on drills that afternoon.
Sirius grinned. "One of the first normal sentences. He really shouldn't be proud of being normal when he isn't."
He walked straight into a poor someone when he left the building at 5 PM.
"No matter if on Midgard or Asgard, this is rude," Thor, who had been quiet for a while, spoke up.
We do not know when he learned it, but Mr. Dursley apologized.
"He knows that word?" The genuine surprise in Harry's voice worried everyone.
The man Mr. Dursley ran into naturally was close to falling. Then Mr. Dursley saw the man was wearing a cloak, violet in color, and that he did not seem to care that he was almost knocked down.
"Okay…" Clint voiced his confusion.
"Sounds like it's him?"
Remus facepalmed. "Peter. How should I know?"
"Oh, yes, sorry."
The man as he was too busy smiling
"I would too," Darcy admitted.
"You stare at everything," Jane dismissed her with a smile.
"Not everything! Just good looking people. And dogs."
The man told Mr. Dursley (in a voice so squeaky it made passers-by stare) that You-Know-Who was finally gone.
"He's gone?!" the people from the seventies wondered.
"Yes," Tonks and Teddy answered.
"For that time," Fred added.
"How?" Regulus requested further information, silently wondering if perhaps he should not join the Death Eaters.
"Who is that You-know-Who-bloke?" Pepper voiced the question that was more or less evident on the face of every person without magic. And Loki.
The man added that even 'muggles' like Mr. Dursley should be celebrating and hugged him somehow.
Betty started to stroke an imaginary beard. "So was a mutant who could stretch his arms? I can't think of another explanation why his arms fit."
This of course caused most people in the room to laugh or at the very least grin. But Fury apparently didn't have emotions other than anger and annoyance, so he did not react.
The man made his way off. Mr. Dursley was baffled and didn't move for a while.
Regulus shook his head with a smile. "Not telling."
When Mr. Dursley did move again, he hurried to get home and hoped he had imagined things. This was a first, as Mr. Dursley did not approve of imagination.
Everyone but Harry displayed some form of shocked disbelief, especially the materials and scientists.
"Can I kill him?" Clint asked Fury.
"Not for this. So unless he commits a crime, no."
"Does child abuse count as crime?" Clint whispered in his girlfriend's ear.
Natasha nodded and both of them, as well as Tony and Bruce who had guessed the quiet conversation, began to grin sadistically and thus causing everyone else but Pepper and Betty to edge away.
When Mr. Dursley arrived home, he saw something he did not like, something that worsened his mood.
Betty grinned. "I don't think anything really can."
It was the cat from earlier.
"Really? How did he know it wasn't another cat?" Steve questioned.
Harry shook his head. "I have no idea."
He tried to make her leave, the keyword being tried.
Sirius raised one eyebrow and turned to James.
The boy in question shook his head. "This proved nothing."
It just gave him a stern look.
Now Remus copied Sirius' earlier actions.
"Stop ganging up on me!"
Severus rolled his eyes. Didn't Potter notice the irony?
Mr. Dursley wondered if cats always did that.
"No," Jane shook her head.
Gathering himself, he walked into his home, his decision not to tell his wife anything standing.
"Coward," Steve mumbled.
Mrs. Dursley's day was normal and we are given the highly useful information that Mrs. Next-Door had problems with her daughter whose age is not mentioned, so you could assume that the daughter was a rebellious teen.
"Interesting name." James grinned. "Mrs. Next-Door."
"I wonder if she's friends with Mr. Across-The-Street," Sirius smiled.
"Or Miss Around-The-Corner?" Peter finished.
On another note, Dudley had learned a new and highly useful word: Won't.
Severus snorted. "Such an accomplishment." He would bet that that word was along Potter's first too.
Mr. Dursley was trying to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary.
"Hard task, I'm sure." Natasha smiled.
After their son was in bed, the parents watched the news. The news report tells them (and us) that the owls had been behaving strange everywhere
"We got that, we want to know why," Darcy told the book.
The news tell us what owls normally do and what they are doing today.
"Of course they did," Sirius shook his head as is the answer was obvious.
No one had an explanation for this. The newscaster grinned as if he knew something.
"Such spooky," Betty whispered as if she could not stop herself.
During the transition to the weather, we hear the newscaster's name, Ted.
"Was that grandma Andy's husband?" Teddy wondered.
"It might've been my Dad," Tonks guessed.
The weatherman told England that there were fireworks everywhere.
"Again, logical," Sirius stated.
"Not really," Pepper argued.
The weatherman told England that – totally surprising – it would rain the night. Mr. Dursley had seen too many abnormal things (the fireworks, the owls, the people in cloaks and the whisper about the Potters) which somehow seemed connected.
"So now he figured it out," Remus laughed.
Mr. Dursley took all his courage and cleared his throat when his wife came back from the kitchen with tea.
"Be brave for once, just humor me," Betty requested.
Mrs. Dursley's first name is Petunia.
"Oh no." Lily groaned while Severus paled. "Oh my god, please no."
"Does that mean…?" James asked hopefully.
"No. No it doesn't."
Mr. Dursley asks Petunia if she had heard from her sister. Petunia did not look pleased, she normally pretended she was an only child.
"Oh, please, God, no."
When Petunia wanted to know why Mr. Dursley asked, he told her of the weird things and that it may have something to do with his sister-in-law's crowd
"Her crowd? What is that supposed to mean Evans?" Regulus questioned.
"Exactly what you think it does, Black," Lily answered.
"I do not understand." Steve looked very confused.
Mr. Dursley he was too afraid to tell his wife that he heard the name Potter.
"Really? Wow. Well one thing is obvious. He would not be a-" Then Sirius caught Harry's eyes. "Forget I said anything."
Mr. Dursley tried to sound casual.
"So not at all causally?" Clint questioned.
"Precisely," Harry agreed.
The conversation shifted to the Potter's son, in Dudley's age and named, not Howard no.
"I for one am glad it isn't," Tony shuddered.
Their nephew's name was Harry, which the Dursleys think to be a nasty common name.
"Well, no one asked you," James snarled.
They went to bed, but he looked out of the window and saw the cat still sitting there, as if waiting for something or someone.
"James, you're going to loose your money," Peter told his friend.
"I might not!"
"Sure, it's just a random cat," Remus replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
For the second time he wondered if he was imagining things and wondered if it was all connected to the Potters.
"Most likely," Betty stated.
What would they do if their secret leaked?
"If it wouldn't be so bad for us, I'd make sure everyone knew of that," James laughed.
They went to bed and only Petunia was able to fall asleep directly. Convincing himself that the Potters would not come to them, even if they were involved.
"I hope so," Jane muttered.
They knew what the Dursleys thought about them and their kind.
"Why would I go near you," James I asked, "Voluntary at that? I mean, if Lily wanted to try to fix the relationship with her sister, maybe, but I see no other reason to go in a three mile radius of these people."
"Not. My. Sister."
"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, you know?" Sirius moked.
He fell asleep, thinking that they could not be affected. He was far from being right the book tells us.
"That one time he could have been right...," Harry whispered.
Even when Mr. Dursley finally feel asleep, the cat seemed not to be sleepy OR tired at all. Unmoving, not even blinking, as if it had been turned to stone at some point, the cat watched the far corner of the street.
"Very interesting, I'm sure," Bruce chuckled.
It stayed like this until midnight (or close to it), even when a car door slammed on the next street and when two owls swooped overhead.
"This cat has some stamina," Tony complimented.
When the cat moved, it was because a man had appeared out of nowhere. Literally.
"How?!" all non-magical people, except the spies, screamed. But Clint is included.
The cat twitched its tail and narrowed its eyes. There had never been anyone like this particular man in Privet Drive in, like, ever.
"In other words he has an opinion and differs from the norm?" Darcy smiled.
"Pretty much."
The man was thin, very old, tall, and both his hair and beard were long enough to tuck into his belt. The man was wearing high-heeled, buckled boots, long robes and a purple cloak that reached the ground. The man's blue eyes were sparkling rightly behind half-moon glasses. His nose seemed to have been broken a minimum of two times. We hear that the man is called Albus Dumbledore.
"Awesome fashion sense this Dumbledore has," Tony chuckled.
"That's our headmaster", chorused the past Gryffindors and Tonks.
Dumbledore either didn't know or didn't care that everything about him (from his name and boots to his nose) was not welcome in this neighborhood.
"I'm sure he knows this," Peter stated.
Dumbledore searched his pockets for something, seemingly not realizing at first he was being watched by the cat, and when he did, he found it funny for some reason, muttering that he should have known to himself.
"What? He should have known a cat would be watching him?" Natasha questioned.
Finally having found the object he had searched, which looked like a silver cigarette lighter, he opened it, held it towards the sky and clicked it. With a pop, the next best lamp decided that stopping to work was the best thing to do.
"Where can I get this?" Fred asked.
"Nowhere. That thing is unique, as far as I know"
He repeated his actions. Twelve times the Put-Outer was clicked.
"Deluminator," Harry corrected.
Two tiny pinpricks in the distance were the only lights left, and these were the eyes of the cat. No one would see anything if they felt the need to look out of the window at midnight for whatever reason.
"That would be useful," Clint noted.
Dumbledore put the object back in his pocket and walked to the wall next to the cat where he sat down, not looking at it.
"Totally not weird," Darcy commented sarcastically.
After a few seconds he spoke to it though, calling it 'Professor McGonagall'.
"The cat is a Professor?" Betty questioned.
Sirius turned to James and held out his hand. "My Galleon please."
James dug in his pants. "Here, you prat."
"So we're all just accepting that the cat is a Professor?" One everyone nodded Tony read on.
When Dumbledore turned to the cat, it had been replaced by a woman, looking rather severe and distinctly ruffled; wearing square glasses in the same shape the cat had markings around its eyes.
"Why?" Loki questioned," The glasses aren't a part of her body after all."
Tonks, Jane, Severus, Betty and Teddy flinched, having forgotten he was even there.
"I don't know," Remus sounded as if he had just realized this.
The woman was wearing an emerald-green cloak and had her hair in a tight bun. The woman, most likely Professor McGonagall inquired how Dumbledore had known the cat was her.
"I'd say because of the apparently illogical markings," Tony guessed.
He replied that not cat would sit that stiff. She countered that she had sat on a brick wall all day and he'd be too had he done the same.
"Point," Steve chuckled.
Dumbledore asks why she'd do that when everyone else was celebrating.
"Didn't he, er, travel the usual way?" Tonks corrected, seeing Harry glare, " How did he come across a dozen parties then unless he stopped?"
"Good point there," Remus complimented.
Teddy smiled.
McGonagall sniffed angrily and mentions that even the Muggles – a term which is not further explained – had noticed something.
"That they did," Peter chuckled.
Namely the things that had annoyed Mr. Dursley – whose first name is still unknown – all day, and that the muggles weren't completely stupid and bound to notice something.
"Thank you, I guess," Tony interrupted himself. Apparently he had figured out that they all belonged to some sort of group and the outsiders were called muggles, thus making him one.
The fireworks are said to be the doing of one Dedalus Diggle who apparently never possessed common sense.
"He's in seventh year, right?" Lily questioned.
"He is," Remus confirmed.
Dumbledore defended the people, as they had spent the last eleven years with little to no reason to celebrate.
"So seven years for us? That about right?" Sirius looked at Harry who nodded.
Nymphadora couldn't figure why he seemed so happy about this.
McGonagall states that she's aware of that, but that they should not lose their head and be downright careless like these people were.
"They should really be more careful," Lily stated, "Even if You-Know-Who is gone."
She shot a sharp glance at Dumbledore as if hoping for him to interrupt.
"Tell us, Dumbledore," Betty requested.
"You do know he's not here, right?" Pepper asked her friend.
"I do. I'm just having some fun."
"That's fine the."
She continued that it would be a fine thing if the muggles would find out all about them on the first day without the mysterious 'You-Know-Who'.
"It would be a day for history books, that much is obvious," Regulus agreed.
She asked Dumbledore if he was really gone to which he replied that it looked like it and that they have much to be thankful for. He then offered her a lemon drop.
"A what?" Regulus, Sirius and James questioned,
She did not know what it was.
Some people laughed.
He explained it was muggle candy. She refused, thinking it was not the right moment for any kind of candy.
"Excuse me?" Fred put a hand on his chest in mock offense, "It is always time for, er, what were they called again?"
She tried to go on but Dumbledore interrupted her basically forcing her to say You-Know-Who's real name: Voldemort.
"So that's his name," Steve said.
She flinched at the mention of the name.
"Why?" Thor questioned, but no one was willing or able to give him an answer.
He said they had nothing to fear from a replied that he would not have a reason to as he was the only one Voldemort was afraid of.
"This Voldemort guy is only afraid of your headmaster? Either you are all way too afraid of this Voldemort or you have one badass headmaster," Clint stated.
"The latter," James replied.
Dumbledore said he's flattered and that Voldemort had powers he'd never possess. McGonagall states that that's only because he was too noble to use them. Dumbledore answered that he hadn't blushed that much since Madam Pomfrey told him she liked his earmuffs, so it was lucky it was dark.
"I did not need to know this!" Lily looked slightly green.
"I wonder when that happened," Tonks mused.
McGonagall glared at Dumbledore and asked, most anxious to discuss whether he knew the rumors as to why Voldemort had disappeared, what had finally stopped him.
Tony paused at this. He grinned
"Read on. Please," Peter requested.
This was the real reason she had spent the day as a cat.
"No one can say McGonagall isn't dedicated," Remus stated, daring anyone to argue.
She was not going to believe what they were saying until Dumbledore confirmed it was true.
"So his word is gospel or what?" Pepper wondered.
"No, it's just that," Lily paused, "now that I think about it, it kind of is."
The man in question chose to eat another lemon drop instead of answering, so she continued to tell the rumor. That last night Voldemort went to Godric's Hollow to find the Potters. The rumor also stated –
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"What happened that Tony Stark is sorry?" Pepper asked playfully.
We learn that Lily and James Potter had recently died in the book.
All good mood in the room was gone.
Lily sobbed in Severus shoulder. "I'm going to die when I'm 21."
James just sat there, pale and unmoving.
The other Marauders, Severus and Regulus refused to believe it.
Tonks was staring at her cousin angrily, after all he had betrayed them.
Everyone else put their heads down.
He (meaning Dumbledore) bowed his head and she (meaning McGonagall) gasped, stating she doesn't believe it or at least does not want to.
"Seems like she does like you," Sirius tried to lighten the mood.
He got a few weak smiles and some glares in return.
He petted her shoulder. McGonagall continued with a trembling voice, that the rumor also states that Voldemort tried to kill little Harry who, as we heard, was a toddler around Dudley's age.
"No!" Lily yelled in protest.
"Right here, Mum!"
James slowly stood up, went to Harry, dragged him to Lily and sat down in his old spot.
Lily hugged her future son.
We learn that the mighty Voldemort had been unable to kill a toddler
"What?" Regulus inquired. After all these people the Dark Lord had already killed, he could not kill a baby?
No one knew why Voldemort couldn't kill a toddler.
"He knew," Harry whispered.
We learn that Voldemort was defeated by Harry.
Everyone but Teddy stared at Harry for a few seconds.
Teddy stood up and poked Tony. "Read on."
When Dumbledore nodded in confirmation, McGonagall could not believe it. Voldemort had killed a high number of people only to be stopped by a toddler, after all.
Loki snorted. That Voldemort guy obviously was not nearly as bad as him.
She wondered how Harry survived to which Dumbledore replied that they may never know and could only guess.
"Oh, he knows," Teddy repeated Harry's earlier statement. He had watched Harry's pensieve just last summer and he was sure Dumbledore knew even then.
After a time of silent grief, Dumbledore checked his watch with twelve hands no numbers and little planets moving around the edge.
"How is that odd?" Regulus seemed confused.
"Normal watches have two or three hands and twelve numbers on the edges," Jane answered.
Dumbledore stated that a someone named Hagrid, who had McGonagall Dumbledore would be at Privet Drive, was late. She wondered why he's there out of all places and he replied that he intended to let the Dursleys, the only family Harry had left, take care of Harry.
"Oh no, not my sister!" Lily almost begged, "I'd prefer Black to her!"
"Thank you Lily."
"I didn't say this as a compliment."
"Still, you think I'm nicer than Petunia."
McGonagall cried in protest, jumping up and pointing at number 4.
"I agree," James stated, "Surely we left a will if we were involved in a war."
"Maybe they needed time to located and need the will and Harry needed to stay with a relative during that time," Remus tried to explain, not really trusting his own words.
"I like that idea. I am going to pretend that this is the truth as long as I possibly can," James declared.
She said that you could not find people less like them and that Dudley was a horrible child. Just that day he had kicked his mother all the way up the street while screaming for sweets.
"And the parents most likely encouraged this," Betty shook her head in disgust.
When McGonagall had finished protesting, Dumbledore stated that it was the best place for Harry and that the Dursleys would be able to explain Harry everything when he was old enough. He had written them a letter after all.
"Tell me he's kidding", Lily pleaded, "They'll just ignore it."
"I'd lie."
"How would this letter even look like? Sorry your sister was killed by a madman, here's her baby, Greetings, Professor Dumbledore or what?" Sirius questioned.
McGonagall had to sit down again after the man's statement.
"Understandable." Pepper nodded in sympathy.
She voiced her concerns how the situation and that the family would never understand Harry, who would be famous.
"You're famous?" Betty asked.
"Yep", Harry answered, popping the 'p'.
McGonagall also said that Harry would be a legend.
"Check"
McGonagall stated she wouldn't be surprised if the day would be known as Harry Potter day in the future.
"Nope, still Halloween," Teddy laughed, "Just like 2nd May and 31st July aren't."
McGonagall predicts that there would be books written about Harry.
"Like this one," Tony interrupted himself.
McGonagall finished that every child in their world will know the name Harry Potter.
"Was a role model at age one, check"
Dumbledore, looking serious, agreed with McGonagall and added that this way his fame would not grow over his head.
Especially Potters boy, Severus thought.
Harry would be famous before he could talk or walk for something he would not even remember and that it would be better to grow up away from it.
"I would have hated it anyways. I'm sure."
"Being famous can be a big burden," Tony agreed, surprising those who knew him. Except for Pepper and Bruce who knew him well enough to be able to look through (some of) his masks.
McGonagall grudgingly agreed and asked how Harry would be getting to them while looking at his companion as if searching the toddler. Dumbledore replied that the one named Hagrid he had mentioned earlier would be bringing him. McGonagall did not think it was wise to trust Hagrid with it and Dumbledore stated he would trust Hagrid with his life.
"Me too, just not with my secrets," all Gryffindors and Tonks added, but not simultaneously.
McGonagall said she knew Hagrid was a good man, just careless.
"Okay, she has a point," Remus agreed.
She was interrupted by a low rumbling sound which grew louder second by second.
"What's that?" Peter questioned.
When the pair looked up, they saw a huge motorcycle falling out of the air and landing in front of them. The man was even huger than the motorcycle.
"Cool!" Sirius exclaimed," I need one!"
"No, Tony, you're not building one." Pepper glared at her boyfriend, before he could even ask.
The man who arrived with the motorcycle, presumably Hagrid, was at least five times as wide as a normal man and twice as big, looking too big to be allowed and wild with his beard with hid most of his face, his bushy black hair, his hands as big as trash can lids and feet in boots like baby dolphins, made out of leather. The man held a bundle of blankets in his vast muscular arms.
"He does sound imitating if you put it like this," James acknowledged.
We learn that Hagrid borrowed the motorcycle from Sirius Black.
"It's mine? Oh yes!" Sirius cheered.
Hagrid said that he got Harry without problems, except for the fact the house was destroyed, and that the toddler fell asleep over Bristol.
"How sweet," Betty cooed.
Pepper, Jane, Darcy and Steve nodded in agreement.
The Professors bent over to take a look and saw a barely visible toddler boy, asleep.
"Handsome boy, I'm sure." James looked oddly proud.
The toddler had jet black hair and a lightning scar on his forehead."I can see that," Bruce said.
In response to McGonagall's question, Dumbledore stated that he would not remove the scar even if he could, because scars could come in handy.
"Yep, it was good for headaches," Harry grumbled.
Dumbledore has a scar above his left knee which is a perfect map of the London Underground.
Lily grumbled something into Harry's torso.
Hagrid said goodbye to Harry.
"Remind me to thank Hagrid."
Remus sighed exasperated. "That will go over well. Hey Hagrid, thank you for taking care of my future son."
McGonagall tried to stop a crying Hagrid from waking everyone up.
"Rude." Jane shook her head.
Hagrid pointed out how sad everything was.
"That is sad," Remus agreed, "Especially with these particular muggles."
Dumbledore laid Harry and the letter on the Dursley's doorstep.
"Would you repeat that please," Jane growled.
Tony obeid.
"You can't just leave a baby on a doorstep! In November! When it's supposed to rain! He might even be able to walk away already!" Betty criticized.
James and the Marauders paled while Lily hugged her future son even tighter and sobbed.
Dumbledore returned to the other two.
"The least you could do is to ring the doorbell to make sure he gets inside," Darcy said. Not even Natasha could detect any emotion in her voice.
There were a few moments of depressing silence.
"I like her," Betty declared.
Even the twinkle in Dumbledore's eyes was gone.
"It should," Peter whispered.
Dumbledore wanted to join the parties and Hagrid said he intended to bring Sirius his bike back.
"I hope so."
"I have it now. No, you can not borrow it."
Hagrid left with the motorcycle.
Quite a few people looked jealous, while Sirius looked like he could not wait to get his bike.
Dumbledore said goodbye to Professor McGonagall.
"So now he dropped the baby of to the possibly worst possible people in the worst possible way he goes off to celebrate or what," Sirius growled.
Dumbledore went to the corner where he came for and clicked the 'Put-Outer' and freed the light by clicking once.
"This is really useful," Clint repeated.
McGonagall had turned into a cat wished Harry good luck.
"Wonder where that luck went so long," Harry mumbled.
Dumbledore left the way he arrived. Privet Drive is described as the last place you'd expect astonishing things to happen.
The Marauders, Lily, Betty, Jane and Darcy had tears in their eyes and it looked like Pepper and Regulus were not very far from it.
We hear that Harry started to cuddle with the letter, not knowing he was special or famous, not expecting to be woken a few hours.
"A few hours in the cold is not good for a baby," Betty sounded very worried.
Harry would be woken by Mrs. Dursley's scream when she wanted to put out the milk bottles The young boy would be bullied by his new caretakers, including their son, for the next time. Dudley would prod and pinch Harry for example.
"Great, he's a bully," Steve groaned.
People all over Britain were drinking to Harry Potter – the Boy-Who-Lived.
"At least one question has been answered," Thor concluded.
Disclaimer: If I would own the Avengers, I'd use some of the money to fly to the moon. I have not been on the moon, so I don't own the Avengers, Harry Potter, or anybody else, except minor OCs like Leo Daniels.
Please review.
~Marvelgeek42
