That was six years ago today.

I stand by my father's grave with a mask of indifference.

Prim stands beside me, crying. Her twin, Caleb, holds onto her.

I'm not sure why she's crying.

She and Caleb were only toddlers when it happened.

My mother isn't here.

She never is.

A scowl etches itself onto my face at the thought of my mother.

Useless, that's what she is.

She's done nothing for Prim and Caleb. Not since dad died. I've had to raise them. I had to feed them, clean them, and watch after them.

I'm ripped from my thoughts when Prim moves to put flowers by his headstone.

A bouquet of Primroses, Angel Trumpets, and Katniss.

I give her a rare smile and grasp her and Caleb's hands.

Hand in hand, we walk out of the cemetery and into my old forest green F150.

I drive them to Gale's house and leave them there.

Gale walks outside and gives me a worried look.

Of course he knows why I don't want them home today.

I know what'll happen and he does too.

"Stay." he tries to grab my arm but, my reflexes kick in and I turn sharply.

"I can't and you know that. She'll be worse if I don't go home now." I say calmly.

"Then never go home. Live here." He insists.

We go over this every time.

"You know that isn't possible. Hazelle has to house you and your brothers, and little Posy. You guys can't afford it."

It's true. Money around here is hard to come by because jobs are scarce and most pay below minimum wage.

It's nearly impossible to live.

"I wish it was possible. I hate seeing you the day after." He stares into my eyes which most call dead, lifeless- like my father's all that time ago. People run when I turn my eyes onto them. Something about them terrifies everyone. It's my way to get people away from me; my dull grey eyes with flecks of all different colors in them; red, blue, green, yellow, purple. Any color you could think of has a little place in the seemingly endless sea of grey. But, no matter how many colors I hold in my eyes, they look the same.

Cold. Dead. Terrifyingly empty.

I don't have the heart to glare at him now.

"I hate feeling it the day after." I attempt to joke.

He doesn't laugh.

I cough awkwardly and walk back to my truck.

I wave goodbye to Prim and Caleb.

I will always say goodbye to them just like I did with dad because, I never know if I'll be able to say it again.

I am never sure that I will live through the day.

They might come back for me.

Mother might drink a little too much.

The kids at my school might finally decide to get rid of me just so they don't have to look at my eyes or have to deal with my secrecy and abnormality.

It's a constant thrill, never knowing if I'll live.

I reach my house far too quickly and slowly creep inside.

I silently walk up the stairs and into my room and I'm out before my head hits the pillow.

Eleven year old me is wandering aimlessly around my neighborhood. The rain is pounding down but, the blood on my hands won't wash off.

My father's blood.

I walk into the forest and sit under a tree.

It's dry here.

I furiously try to scrub the redness off my hand but, it's not working.

I scream and cry underneath that tree.

I scream until my throat feels raw and I cry until there are no tears left.

Then, I just sit there, shivering.

I feel my eyes grow heavy and my heartbeat slows.

Just as I'm about to slip into sleep, a flashlight glares into my eyes.

"Oh my god" I hear a young male voice say.

I open my eyes groggily and look at him.

'He looks about my age' I think to myself.

He has blond hair, and bright, glacial blue eyes that remind me of the shows I watch on Animal Planet.

I'm ripped from my musings when my stomach surges with pain and my hands fly to it.

'It seems as if the adrenaline is finally wearing off 'I think to myself

I let out a small shriek and the boy jumps, dropping the flashlight.

I move my hand off of my stomach and see that it is now covered in my blood. My eyes flicker up to meet with the boys blue ones. From my eyes his gaze moves to my hand, terrified yet, somehow calm.

He quickly gets over his shock and puts my arm around his shoulder and his arm around my waist.

Excruciatingly slowly, he helps me off the floor.

"Wh-What are you doing?" I pant.

"Helping you." he says curtly. He begins to walk and a whole new pain is introduced to my abdomen.

A whimper escapes my throat and the boy begins to walk faster.

I blink and we're out on the street.

He set me on the curb and goes to the closest house.

'To get help, probably.' I say to myself.

He comes back quickly and sits beside me.

"Stay awake…Um" he trails off, not knowing my name.

"Katniss" I breathe heavily.

He smiles gently and his eyes show and unforgettable amount of sorrow.

His smile enough was unforgettable but, the look of concern on his face is burned into my mind.

'The only person to be worried about me was dad.' Though the though passes through my mind, I dare not say it aloud. I fear that if I do emotional pain will appear on top of the physical pain.

A new wave of sorrow rushes over me and I double over.

Then the pain comes back even stronger.

"Katniss!" The boy exclaims.

I see the flashing lights in the distance and I can hear the sirens.

I try to smile, but I'm sure it became more of a grimace, and look at the boy.

"Thank you and goodbye…" I find myself in the position he was in only moments ago.

I don't know his name.

"Cato" he fills in for me.

"Cato" I whisper as I finally fall into a deep slumber

I bolt upright in my bed and try to erase the thought of the boy.

"Cato" I correct myself.

I sense something in my room and I stiffen.

The stench of booze hits me before the fist does.

"Still thinking about your imaginary friend?" I hear a cold voice mock

"Hello, mother" I say in a voice just as cold as blood drips from my mouth.