A/N : Well here it is! Sorry, it took longer than I thought! Family obligations, work, and horrible coursework kinda took first place. So yeah...Anyway enjoy all of you who were waiting!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to The Hobbit or any of Tolkien's other works.
I Am A Lion
What Kili Did and The Morning After
Fili stealthily snuck through the halls of their house. It was late, not only had he missed his dinner but his curfew as well. Fili sighed, hardly knowing why he was even bothering to be quiet, he was in for it anyway. Surprisingly no one was up waiting for him, which Fili found strange, and hardly comforting. Slipping to the back halls Fili slid open his bedroom door and slipped in silently. He was in the act of removing his cloak when a not so sleepy voice said,
"Where did you go?"
Fili spun around, startled, and saw Kili's worried eyes peering at him from the bed in the corner. Fili desperately wanted to say something in his defense but he had been caught dead to rights, so instead he said nothing.
"I covered for you, you know." said Kili sharply, as he pushed back the blankets and slithered out of the bed, crossing the span of the room to the fireplace where Fili was standing. "I told Mum and Uncle that you were trapping on the far side of the forest. I told them you weren't going to be here for dinner and that you wanted me to apologize for you because you were going to miss your curfew as well. It was by the grace of the Valar that they believed me. And I took care of the trapping for you too. There are two beavers and a rabbit outside hidden behind the woodshed that you can present in the morning. So I'll ask again, Where did you go?"
Fili just blinked at Kili for a moment, too shocked for speech. Kili had done all this just to save his hide from Thorin and Dis? Small wonder no was waiting for him. Fili half smiled, Kili certainly had done a very thorough job.
"I was at the forge for half the day and then training with Dwalin, and, and then I came home." Fili ended lamely.
It doesn't take six hours to make it home from the training grounds, Fee. Where did you go? And please don't lie to me again."
"I didn't lie, damn it!
"Then what happened on the way home?"
"I had...something came up..." Fili answered at length, looking at anything but Kili
"Come on Fee, you can tell me anything." said Kili, trying to get Fili to look at him. "You'd be saying the same thing if the situation was reversed."
'But the situation isn't reversed. You don't have some bloodthirsty Beast controlling you.' Fili thought to himself before saying out loud, with a small laugh "It's nothing, really Kee. I just needed some time alone. You worry too much. You forget you're the younger brother, It's my job to worry about you, and you give me alarmingly good reason to!"
Kili's worried glare faded a little at Fili's words but was almost instantly replaced when Fili turned his face towards the fire. Fixing his brother with a frown and a black look, he demanded angrily,
"If I am worrying too much, then why is your left cheek bruised and swollen?! Just because you're twenty and five years my senior, that doesn't mean I don't have the right to know what's going on with my elder brother!" demanded Kili, his voice rising with every word.
"Shhhhh! Keep your voice down, Kili! You don't want to wake the whole house, do you?!"
"Maybe I do!" Kili snarled, not troubling himself to lower his voice.
"Please, Kee! Not right now! I-It's not...Please, I'm not doing...I-I'd tell you if I could...B-but I can't! I can't explain...I d-don't w-want...Please, Kee! Not right now!" Fili begged.
Kili took a step back, stunned by Fili's sudden outburst and the tears that threatened to spill from his brother's eyes. Never had he seen Fili succumb to emotion in this fashion, and he nodded his assent without thinking.
"A-and please Kili, don't tell Thorin or Mum..." Fili choked.
"Come on...Uncle Thorin or Mum could help with-with whatever it is that's bothering you! Or, or maybe Oin? Yeah, I bet Oin could help with, with whatever is bothering you if you don't want M-"
"NO!" Fili shouted, before covering his mouth with his hand, listening for any sounds coming from the other bedchambers. After a tense moment where the two boys heard muffled movement from what sounded like Thorin's room, all was quiet again and Fili continued. "I don't want anyone to know right now...I-I'll tell them in my own time." he lied.
Kili nodded and turned to the fire.
"So you will tell me? Soon?"
"Soon..."
'Soon as I can think up a lie.' Fili added mentally.
Kili nodded again and stifled a yawn. Fili smiled and dragged his brother to the bed and pushed against the pillows.
"Go to sleep and stop worrying about me."
"G-g-goodnight, Fee..." Kili said brokenly through a yawn.
"...Goodnight, Kili..."
oOo
"Wake up, Fili!"
Fili groaned at his uncle's voice and rolled over. He hadn't been asleep long, maybe an hour two. The sun had just been peeping above the hillsides outside when he had finally felt sleep carry him away from the thoughts that had kept him awake most of the night. Nevertheless, he got up and put on a fresh tunic, trying to make himself somewhat presentable, and made for the kitchen. Fili fell heavily into his seat and rubbed his eyes, yawning. He heard Thorin's metal toed boots enter the kitchen, but he didn't look up and continued to rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Fili suddenly felt a restraining grip on his wrist preventing him from bringing his hand to his eyes. He looked up at his uncle's concerned steel blue eyes, a little bewildered. Thorin ran his thumb across Fili's cheekbone and Fili winced at the pain that suddenly blossomed across his skin. Fili had forgotten about the results of the previous nights brawl, and he inwardly cursed himself for not having at least looked to see the damage that had been done. He tentatively met Thorin's gaze. He wasn't surprised to see suspicion there and he did his best not to look away.
"What happened?"
Thorin's voice was overly quiet and calm as it always was when he was worried and trying to hide it. Fili opened his mouth to answer but shut it quickly as he tried to think up a lie. It was easier said than done, looking into his uncles eyes made it harder to lie.
"I-I fell outside late last night..." Fili began. Technically it was not a lie, he had fallen on his face after being thrown from the tavern. "On my way back home from trapping I slipped. I didn't realize I had actually injured myself..." Fili added, suddenly remembering Kili's cover story.
Fili chanced a glance at Kili, who glared back at him but said nothing to refute him. Thorin's quick eyes caught the look and his eyes moved from Fili's face to Kili, but after a moment he seemingly became satisfied at Fili's answer.
"Come, let me have a decent look before your mother sees it." his tone soft.
Fili let himself be steered away from the table just as his mother came in bearing steaming serving bowls and platters.
"Where are you two going? Breakfast is ready." Dis called after them.
"Don't hold breakfast, Dis. You and Kili go on ahead and eat. We'll be back momentarily." Thorin answered as he lead Fili to the washroom.
Once inside Thorin closed the door and made Fili sit on a stool there and drew cold water. Fili began to squirm around feeling acutely uncomfortable about his current situation. Normally this wouldn't have bothered him, but this was no normal occurrence, and it was only worse seeing as Fili wasn't entirely convinced that his uncle fully believed him. However, Thorin said nothing as he rinsed a cloth in the water and began to bath Fili's face. Fili sighed as the cold rag touched his skin and he relaxed as the numbing power of the cold washed away the pain that had remained after Thorin had touched his injury.
It turned out to be worse that Fili had anticipated. Not only was his cheek swollen and bruised, but there was also a slender gash where his skin had split. He sucked his breath in sharply, thanking his stars that Thorin hadn't begun to question him.
Then Thorin spoke.
"So are you going to tell me what happened?"
Fili started slightly and looked hard at his uncle for a moment. Thorin didn't stop what he was doing but Fili could tell he was waiting as patiently as he was able.
"What I said at the table was true, I was on my way back when I slipped and-"
"Fell. So you said." finished Thorin. "I'm referring to what happened after your alleged trapping accident," Thorin stressed the word. "Between you and Kili."
Fili almost fell off the stool, causing Thorin to raise an eyebrow at him. How much had Thorin heard last night? Fili gulped.
"What makes you think anything is wrong with me and Kili?" Fili asked, hoping that he sounded indignant to explain away his reaction.
"I don't know, Kili shouting last night 'Just because you're twenty and five years my senior, that doesn't mean I don't have the right to know what's going on with my elder brother.', might have led me to that conclusion." Thorin answered coolly. "Or you shouting 'No' shortly thereafter?"
"It's nothing really...We just had a little argument, it was truely nothing, Uncle..."
"Be that as it may, I still would like to know what Kili thought he was entitled to know, that you, as his senior thought was unnecessary to tell him."
"He..." Fili hesitated. "I tried to hide this so he wouldn't see and get worried. But he did and called me out on it..." It was only a half lie and Fili hoped that it would be enough to convince Thorin. Fili looked at Thorin for a moment. "You, you thought Kili hit me, didn't you?"
"I'll admit the thought did cross my mind." said Thorin as he reached down and grabbed a salve from a cabinet. He opened it and began to smear the contents on the cut. "You two rarely fight or argue, I thought it may have escalated."
"Kili and I would never hit one another! What would make you think that?"
Thorin shrugged and looked as though he was about to say something but seemed to think better of it. Instead he put away the medicine and gestured towards the door. Fili got up from the stool and left the washroom with Thorin.
oOo
"Fili, what have you done to your face?!"
Fili winced at his mothers worried tone, but forced a smile as she jumped up from her seat and raced over to look him over.
"I'm fine, Mum. Uncle Thorin already took care of it for me."
"What happened?" she asked in the same worried tone.
"I fell outside last night coming home. It's nothing."
"Well, if you're sure, sit down and have some breakfast. Does it hurt?"
Fili shook his head and that apparently satisfied Dis for the moment. She seated herself again. Thorin also sat down and helped himself to the bacon and eggs. Fili did likewise but didn't really feel like eating. Fili's mind was a whirlwind. Thorin hadn't believed anything he had said. Fili wondered just what Thorin was actually thinking and why Thorin would have thought that Kili would have hit him. Neither one of them had ever struck the other. Then it dawned on him, Thorin knew simply by looking at the injury that he had been punched. It did make sense, Fili reasoned, but the fact that his uncle believed either himself or Kili capable of striking each other hurt him.
'But that's you greatest fear, remember?' said a small voice inside his head that didn't belong to Fili 'That you'll lose the little control you have. That you'll hit one of them, that you'll hurt one of them, that you'll kill one of them.'
Fili gripped fistfuls of his hair and put his head down, closing his eyes; trying to will the voice away. But as soon as he closed his eyes he was met with the horrid sapphire ones that resembled his own but could not be his own. Fili didn't dare move as the Beast began to circle him, prowling as it had done so many times before. But it didn't charge at him like usual. Instead it sat down, facing Fili, and just stared. And all Fili could do was stare back. Fili braced himself readying himself for that one sound that would surely drive him to insanity, but instead of a roar, Fili heard the Beast speak his own name, though it sounded as though it came from a great distance. The word bounced back at him, echoing off the walls of darkness, until the air was filled with the sound of numerous Fili's. A soft whimper escaped his lips and he began to look around wildly for an exit as his name reverberated inside his head. But before he could something pulled him backwards roughly and he fell into the darkness...
...Fili blinked. His head was killing him. He was being shaken by Thorin, which only made his head hurt worse, as did Thorin nearly shouting his name. His mother and brother knelt him, looking just as concerned as Thorin. Fili saw relief wash over their features as he looked at them and registered their faces. Thorin let out a shaky breath, but didn't loosen his hold on Fili's shoulders.
"Fili...What is wrong?" Thorin demanded in the same overly quiet tone that he had used before.
'What was wrong?' Fili wasn't even sure. He didn't even know why his head hurt so badly. It took Fili a moment to realize that he had been pulling on his hair in an effort to block out the that little inner voice. Fili shook his head, wincing at the pain before he managed to gasp out.
"I-I'm fine really..."
"You are certainly not fine!" Thorin said worried. "What's wrong, Fili? And please do not lie to me again."
Fili truely wanted to tell them everything, about the Beast, his sudden inability to sleep that had him running on empty, the blood lust that the Beast caused. But shame and fear made him hold his tongue. He would not be the one to bring shame on the line of Durin. So instead Fili half smiled and mumbled quietly.
"It's nothing, just a headache...I'll be alright."
Dis and Thorin exchanged a glance across Fili's head and seemed to come to some sort of understanding. Thorin took Fili by the arm and helped him to his feet.
"You'll not be coming with me to the forges today, Fili. I want you to stay home and rest." said Thorin.
Fili's head snapped up at his uncles words, even though it caused him some pain. His eyes widened slightly. Surely he wasn't going to made to stay at home like a sick child. He would be fine. He could work through a headache, especially a self inflicted headache, and he began to say as much, but Dis held up a hand to forestall him.
"You will listen to your uncle on this, Fili. Now, come on, bed."
"But-!"
"Bed!" Dis said with such finality that Fili had no choice but to obey
Fili sighed almost contentedly as he was wrapped in warm blankets by his mother. As put out as he was at being made to stay home, Fili was more than happy to get a few extra hours of sleep. When she was finished she kissed him on the head and walked over to the door where Thorin stood, leaning against the the door frame. Fili watched as the two of them have some form of conversation with each other that was clearly about himself, but he was really too tired to try and eavesdrop. His eyelids slid shut and enveloped his world in darkness...
So what do you think? I hope you enjoyed it, I thought it was choppy and rushed...But on the bright side I now know where I am going to take this fic and I hope that you all won't be disappointed. Please review and let me know what you think! :)
