A quick thank you to my two reviewers: DarkFireAngel00 & kitsune-miko-witch ...much appreciated & this is dedicated to you so I hope you enjoy it!


I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. -Og Mandino


"Ah, another Carrow comes to Hogwarts? Well this should be eas- …oh, OH my my my how I've been waiting for you. & how he's been waiting for you. Destiny is tricky – might as well help it along, best if it's GRYFFINDOR."

Astraea's eyes shot open, the silence of her dorm mirroring the silence that had followed her real-life sorting. Whenever she was worried about her life her mind always replayed the moment it had all changed. The confusion she felt on that day still ricocheted throughout her mind. Some days she could shake the feeling that her entire life was destined to be a joke but other days it blindsided her, reminding her that she was alone with no one but herself to rely on.

Her life had spiraled into a lonely abyss and the sad truth of it was there was no one to pull her back. She'd thought in her first year that person might be Siri – Black – since their situations were so similar but she couldn't have been more wrong. Of all the people in her life who'd let her down, he was undoubtedly the worst and most painful offender.

Sighing slightly, she quietly pulled herself out of her bed and hurried into the shower to prepare for the train ride home, having a hard time believing it was already the end of her fifth year.

Home.

Where was that? Where would she go now that she was persona non grata at the Carrow estate? Who would save her?

Trying to brush these thoughts from her mind to focus on the next few hours, she turned the water on as high as it could go before jumping in and letting it stream over her, welcoming the heat. By the time she exited, the bathroom had been transformed into a sauna and she tried to dress as quickly and quietly as possible. Pulling her fingers through the tangle of curls she used her wand to dry it slightly before putting a hint of makeup on. Never one to bother much with cosmetics after she'd been banned from society she did it today more for the slightly elevated confidence it offered, knowing she'd need it.

Although, it wasn't as though Astraea was unaware of just how gorgeous she was on a daily basis without the usual girly preparations or maintenance necessary: her long, soft wavy hair was naturally multi-hued with blonde and brown competing head-on while red vied for marginal attention, her lightly tanned skin glowed with a year-long sun kissed look with a few freckles dispersed across the bridge of her classicly straight nose, highlighted further by her high cheek bones. But it was always her eyes that garnered the most attention, a midnight blue that bordered on violet with light flecks of gray and the outside of the irises rimmed in black.

However, she'd learned at the tender age of eleven that all of that didn't matter because money didn't buy class and beauty didn't guarantee happiness.

Or love.

Or even friendship.

Emitting another sigh, she crept quietly back into the dorm ensuring her trunk was packed for the train before grabbing her bag with a book for the ride and escaping to the common room. Ducking out of the room, she tried not to glance back at the sleeping forms of her roommates, not for the first time wishing she wasn't always on the outside looking in.

"Get it together, just because you have no friends or family doesn't mean you can feel bad for yourself," she grumbled to herself as she hurried down the stairs taking them two at a time as she bounded into the empty Gryffindor common room.

Smiling slightly to herself, she made a beeline for her favorite chair – the same one she'd sat in with James Potter a week prior.

As she settled into the chair, flinging her legs over the side and letting her head rest on the arm, Astraea let her thoughts wander to the popular, gregarious Potter boy who'd never so much as glanced at her let alone spoke to her but had all of a sudden recently been everywhere she'd been.

Potter yelled charming 'All right there, Stray!'s and 'Goodnight Carrow!'s for every day of the past week causing confusion and gossip to ripple throughout not only their house but the entire school. The results had been disastrous to the point she could feel the eyes of her siblings and the rest of the wannabe Death Eater's burning holes through her robes and occasionally actual hexes burning through her robes.

The most irritating aftershock of their brief midnight encounter was his 'humorous' nickname: Stray, indicating a much more personal relationship theoretically than there was in reality. Her outbursts of cold anger had done little to diminish the Potter boy's enthusiasm rather doing the opposite. Word around the castle was the traumatic humiliation at the hands of Evans had shifted his attentions to her.

A brief flicker of disgust passed over her face at the thought – no one in their right mind would fancy her, it was practically forbidden.

Trying to wipe her mind of all unpleasant thoughts, no easy task, she stretched her lean legs out while shielding her eyes from the rising sun. Feeling content and peaceful in the early morning sun she allowed a small smile to play on her face as she absentmindedly began to tap her foot against the wall, humming softly as she enjoyed the last few moments of peace in the place that was for all intents and purposes her home now.

"You've really no idea how bloody aggravating that is, do you Stray?"

Eyes shooting open, she nearly rolled off the chair at the sight of James Potter sitting across from her as though he'd been there for hours. She hadn't even heard him come in but there he sat, dressed casually in muggle jeans and a t-shirt, grinning at her through lopsided glasses, his hazel eyes sparkling with mischief.

Trying to calm her racing heart at his sudden appearance and reluctant to show him just how unawares he'd caught her she eyed him calculatingly and slightly inclined her head in his direction, "Potter."

Potter pouted in response, "Now now, Miss Carrow – is that any way to treat a friend?"

"No," she answered sweetly and he began to smile in response until she continued, "But it's proper treatment for this particular social situation because you're not a friend."

His face dropped, disappointment clearly spelled out across his face. He clearly wasn't a boy who had to limit his show of emotion for fear of reprimand. Astraea momentarily faltered in her bitterness towards him. It wasn't Potter's fault he'd been raised in a loving environment and she'd been brought up as though she were a prized filly, bred and manipulated to be sold to the highest bidder for her pure blood.

But now wasn't the time to show weakness. If anything, now was the time to reassert that she was strong, even though she stood alone.

Standing up swiftly to leave she nearly tripped into his arms when he spoke evenly, "You're quite prone to talking to yourself when you think you're alone…I'd hazard a guess and say no one else knows that about you."

As he spoke, he rose from his chair to circle her appraisingly, using his considerable height in an attempt to intimidate her, "What I wonder is: you know you've no friends, you apparently no longer have a family so then why wouldn't you let someone in who is willing to help?"

Astraea stiffened, feeling the air that separated them crackle with tension, "Help has never been forthcoming nor have I ever felt the need to ask for it," she replied coldly, "'Hell is empty and all the devils are here.'"

"'Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt'," he answered back, confusion only briefly evident in his eyes until his smugness took over, "Never thought the Pureblood Princess would know Shakespeare."

Shaking off his hidden question she retorted, "Never thought Potter the Prat even knew how to read."

"You didn't answer my question," he sing-songed to her, while keeping her in front of him. Glancing up at him she noted his hazel eyes filled with mirth and the thought briefly crossed her mind that he was quite attractive until a spurt of hot-rage took over.

"You never asked one," she retorted shortly before trying to side step around him but found him mirroring her actions, "Let me pass." She hissed out in irritation.

The two stood toe-to-toe and while Astraea only came up to his shoulders she managed to hold his gaze with all the force of someone twice his size eventually forcing him to begrudgingly step aside.

Grabbing her bag she proceeded to walk surely but quickly towards the portrait exit but missed a step when he called to her retreating back, "Out of curiosity," his voice heavy with unrestrained bitterness, "Where does someone with no friends sit whilst on a lengthy train journey?" He slowly began to advance towards her, speaking in a faux disappointed voice, "Geez, a bloke tries to do a bird a favor by offering to bring a bit of warmth into her cold, lonely life and she spits in his face in response."

In retrospect, Astraea would admit to herself that it was more his tone rather than his words that caused her to snap but at the time all she managed to hear were the words cold & lonely echoing in her mind.

"You!" she shrieked, her previously calm demeanor giving way to her true personality, "Have made a half-arsed attempt at 'friendship' in the past week by speaking two sentences to me on a daily basis after you've spent Five. Whole. Years. Ignoring my very existence!"

Potter's shocked face barely gave her pause before she continued, "This entire bloody school tip-toes around me like I'm flippin' Voldemort incognito, like I'm plotting everyone's deaths at the tender age of fifteen and not a one even stops to think I just might not be so fucking terrible. Believe it or not, I used to have friends. I used to have people that loved me, I used to get to laugh and cry and feel BUT Merlin knows this bloody house and school ripped that away from me the second that foolish, ugly hat spoke his misguided words."

Sucking in air heavily, Astraea found herself overwhelmed with all the emotions she'd kept bottled inside for the past five years, "And that's all well and good, I can handle being alone. I can handle that I've not a shot in hell of being loved or even liked. I can handle hiding my feelings and acting above it all. I can deal with spending my time studying or reading or exploring alone but what I can't handle is you deciding to make me some sort of 'project' now that you seem to have finally gotten it through that big head of yours that Evans wants nothing to do with you.

"So if you'll please, I quite enjoy my own company. And I'll help myself out of the mess that my life is. Because that option is sure as fuck a lot better than being indebted to arrogant, hypocritical prats like you and Black."

And with that final parting shout she whirled around on her heel, escaping from the nightmare that had already become this day.


James stood in the middle of the empty common room, initially shell-shocked by what had just occurred.

He had no idea the girl had any bit of fight left in her after spending years being an outcast but apparently it was all still there, fiercely defensive and protective down to her very soul.

Rather than feeling upset by the encounter, he began to laugh. A laugh that began in the very bottom of his toes and rose up until he felt lightheaded from the force of it.

Merlin, she was fun.

Years later, thinking back on this moment, he would eventually realize he'd become a bit unhinged. The fight with Lily down by the lake over Snape had caused something to snap in him.

Befriending Carrow was the equivalent of poking Voldemort with a long, sharp stick then throwing rocks at him when he chased after you. Regardless of the hostility between her and her family members, she was still a beautiful, eligible pureblood witch and the tentacles of that life would never be far from attempting to recreate their stranglehold on her.

But James, quite frankly, couldn't be arsed to worry about it.

Astraea Carrow offered a diversion from the routine heartbreak of dealing with Evans and those midnight eyes of hers might drive him crazy if he didn't get to see them more. There was so much hidden behind them and now that he'd gotten a glimpse of what lay beneath the surface he'd be damned if he'd leave it alone. James Potter had never met a challenge he couldn't beat and Miss Carrow would be no different.

It had been a stroke of luck that James had been sneaking back in from putting the finishing touches on the end of year prank and he'd been giddy to find Astraea bounding down the steps, mumbling loudly to herself as she made her way to the same chair he'd first spoken to her in. Hidden beneath his invisibility cloak, he had stealthily moved to sit down across from her, taking the opportunity to fully admire her prone figure.

Now that he'd noticed her, he was unsure how he'd spent the past five years ignorant of her beauty. Already having noticed the mystery of her multi-hued hair and since her secret eyes were shut to the brightening day he'd taken the opportunity to examine her figure that was usually hidden under robes.

He remembered how his mouth had gone dry when he'd started his examination at her trainer clad foot, eyes trailing up the length of lean, sun-kissed legs noticing a tiny constellation of freckles just above her right knee and leading to a pair of small denim shorts. He'd successfully ignored his shock over the fact she owned muggle clothing and continued his exploration to the flowing, pale yellow eyelet top. Unconsciously wetting his lips, he'd given a slight smirk at the sight of her chest, eyeing the contrast between the flat stomach and full – tap tap tap.

It was the tapping of her foot on the wall that had broken his spell and he couldn't let the opportunity pass to shock her by carefully removing his cloak before startling her. The entire encounter between the two of them had been invigorating and he felt lighter than he had since last getting screeched at by Evans.

Bounding up the steps to his dorm, he entered into the chaotic scene of the rest of the Marauders frantically throwing clothes and personal items into their trunks. Narrowly avoiding Pete's shoe hurtling through the air, he flopped onto his bed and eyed the scene fondly.

A surprising fact about James Potter was a penchant for organization and cleanliness that was not reflected in his mop of dark hair or lopsided glasses. So while his mates were just narrowly going to make breakfast, he had the chance to smirk at their panic as his trunk and belongings had been gathered and packed over the past few days.

"Oi! What's got that grin on your face?" Sirius shouted from the bed next to him while he struggled to extract a poster from the wall.

Remembering how Sirius had reacted to Carrow last week he kept his mouth shut, giving a casual shrug, "Just looking forward to summer."

"That makes one of us," he just barely heard the muttered response. James could never fully grasp the pain of his best mate. He understood the logistics of being an outcast and he welcomed his friend into his own family with open arms but he doubted he'd ever be able to replicate the pain of being loathed by your own blood. To him, it was just downright unnatural to hate your kin.

But never mind that, he thought, he was practically Sirius' brother now…although his friend tended to be as closed off and secretive as Carrow was. Possibly more so particularly when any question on said girl arose. James knew the two had grown up together amongst their pureblood manic families but Sirius' childhood was, for obvious reasons, an off-limit topic.

"For the most unruly looking bloke in our year, it never ceases to amaze me how you are always promptly packed while we're left scrambling," Remus said with a tired grin, a sign of the upcoming full-moon.

"Yes, well," he responded grumpily at the quip on his appearance, "Someone has to be prepared to set up the entire end of year prank."

"Oh please, Prongs." Sirius snorted, "You just put the final flourish on. Took you long enough too."

Absentmindedly, James forgot to be discreet as he ruffled the back of his hair and his thoughts turned back to his early morning encounter as he shrugged slightly before answering, "Ran into Carrow in the common room."

At his words, all movement in the room stopped and he glanced over to see the furious look on Sirius' face. Oddly enough, similar to Astraea, all emotion was quickly wiped from his face and he managed to say in bored tone, "Oh? And are you still on this foolish crusade to talk to the snake?"

Bristling, James sat up to face his friend, annoyed about his tone as it wasn't any of his business if he befriended the girl or not, "And if I am? What of it?"

Peter and Remus stood off to the side, silently staring back and forth between the two boys. The mention of Astraea had doused any bit of excitement that had been floating through the room.

Sirius stiffened as he advanced towards James, "Don't you listen, Potter? She is dangerous."

"She's a person – not Voldemort." You wouldn't have thought it possible but at his words the room grew even colder and Peter visibly blanched, taking a step back from the two.

Sirius' face was thunderous, gray eyes turning nearly black as he reached James, coming within inches of his friend, glaring down from two inches higher, "You have no idea the pain she can inflict."

"She seems harmless!" James protested, refusing to give into his friend's ridiculous warning particularly without any reason given,

Sirius snorted, face twisting in anger, "You've spoken to her twice. I've known her my whole life."

James gave a disparaging laugh, "You haven't spoken to her for five of those years 'cept to torture the poor witch."

"Fuck. You." Sirius hissed out causing James to recoil in shock at the venom in his voice. "Stay away from her or I'll make you stay away from her."

With those final words, Sirius stormed from the dorm leaving three very confused (and one very angry) boys in silence.


A/N: Hope you enjoy this & any feedback will be much appreciated!