A/N: Even though this story takes place in the Florida Keys, for the sake of imagination, fiction, and not messing with the realities of the true Florida Keys and its residents, all three islands in this story and their names are made up for the fanfic.
Island #1: Wage Key
Chris, our expert in real estate in private islands, takes Larry and Patti to the first island.
"Welcome, Larry and Patti, to Wage Key," said Chris to the two buyers. "The price is at $1,500,000, and the islands' house is at 1,000 square feet."
"Mmm," said Patti, "I like the look of those treetops. It almost looks like monkeys could live in them happily."
"Well," said Chris, "there are no monkeys indigenous to North America, so I can't do anything about bringing primates here."
"Is this real grass or artificial turf?" asked Larry, gesturing to the ground near the house.
"It's a little of both," said Chris. "To your right is the real grass, and to the left over there is the turf. If you don't like artificial turf on an island, you can have it removed."
"That's good to hear, Chris," said Larry, "Artificial turf so doesn't belong on a tropical island."
"Let's check the house next," suggested Chris. They walked up to the front door and walked inside.
Inside, the buyers could see that the two-story house was made of sturdy wood, with a stone fireplace in the living room.
"This is a beautiful living room!" said Patti, "I can see Larry and I watching a nice, romantic movie together on that couch."
"I agree, Patti," said Larry dreamily, "Even though we'd have our own couch, not this one."
"This house comes with all the appropriate amenities," said Chris, "There's room enough for most kinds of furniture in the living room, and the island gets cable and wi-fi for watching many television stations and surfing the internet."
"This place gets power from the mainland?" asked Patti.
"Yes, it does," confirmed Chris. "Underwater cables provide all the electricity you need."
"The internet's very useful," said Larry, "But I'd prefer surfing in the ocean. It's a unique pleasure riding the waves with nothing but a board and some daring."
"Even though you always wipe out, Larry?" said Patti with a twinkle in her eye.
"Ugh," said Larry, blushing, "Well, yeah, I do fall in the water a lot."
"Why don't we check the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom next?" said Chris.
"Sure," said Larry and Patti. Chris led them into the kitchen.
"As you can see, the first floor has an open floor plan," explained Chris. "The living room opens up to the kitchen, and so does the dining room."
"Interesting," said Larry, "I like the look of that little bar there. Would it be possible to have a butler or other servant serve at that bar if we get this island?"
"I suppose, if you can afford him, or her," said Chris, "Anything else catch your eye in here?"
"Well, I don't know about the open floor plan, personally," Larry said, "If I'm preparing a meal, or a drink, for a lovely lady, I like to make it a surprise, and an open floor plan would make that almost impossible. It doesn't serve to prepare a surprise if you can't use it, you know."
"But I like the dining room table," said Patti, "It can be increased or decreased in size, meaning that it can fit anywhere from six to just two."
"Yeah, that's a plus," said Larry.
"And I like this center counter in the kitchen, too," Patti continued, "I don't like to look at the wall if I'm cooking food or pouring a drink of wine."
"Okay, then," said Chris, "Well, shall we go upstairs, where I can show you the bedroom and its adjoining bathroom?"
"Sure," said Larry and Patti.
They went upstairs, where a small, but cozy, bedroom awaited them.
"This is the bedroom," said Chris. "This is a one-bedroom house, by the way, but if there was a problem, or a break-up between lovers, the couch in the living room downstairs unfolds into an extra bed. As you can see, we've got small but convenient space for a dating or married couple to move around in, and although the room may seem too small for this, even a king-size bed can fit in here comfortably, at least, if it faces in that direction." He gestured to the bed, with its head against the opposite wall, and its tail stopping a few feet from the doorway.
"Hmm," said Larry, "It looks kinda nice, but I don't like to have my love nest take place in such a compact space like this. I love king-size beds, but I think I'd want the choice of where to put one, and which direction to face it, too."
"I have to agree with Larry," said Patti, "I like to move around a lot in bed, whether I'm asleep or awake. And the space needed for dressers and other amenities wouldn't leave a lot of extra room to walk around on, either, not to mention space to kiss before getting on the bed."
"Yes, well, I guess a bedroom is more than just a bedroom for you two," said Chris.
Larry and Patti laughed. "You bet it is, Chris!" said Larry.
"Well, how about the bathroom over here?" asked Chris. "Many couples like to get romantic in bathrooms, too."
"Yes, that's true," said Patti, "Let's see it."
They walked to the main bathroom that connected to the bedroom.
"We've got a cabinet behind this vanity mirror to keep cosmetics and medicines in," said Chris, pointing out the mirror, "The toilet is in good working order, too."
"That's a relief," said Larry, "I've been in some really stinkin' bathrooms in my time!"
Chris chuckled uneasily. "But perhaps you'll be most interested in this bathtub, just right for two people to enjoy at once, and this walk-in shower with a handheld shower head."
"I love baths!" said Patti, "And from what I've heard, some of Larry's past girlfriends did, too."
"And this shower looks like it's really handy for getting off all the dirt from playing and working on the island," said Larry. "But the bath is the best part of the bathroom, I agree."
"Okay, then, what do you say we take a look outside the house now?" Chris said, "I know you're going to find some good things on it, particularly in the back."
"Well then let's see it!" said Patti enthusiastically.
Outside, in the back, Chris said, "Now I'm afraid this island doesn't have a separate guest house, just like it doesn't have an extra bedroom, but back here, it does have its own spacious deck, something I know you were interested in."
"Wow!" said Larry and Patti, looking with awe at the deck before their eyes.
"It's so big!" said Patti. "I could set up a nice suntan session here and provide myself with lots of books and a computer to have extra fun here while doing so!"
"And I could actually enjoy my software programming job while watching the view!" said Larry.
"That's good to hear," said Chris, "As you can see, you get a beautiful view of the ocean, too, and if you like a little extra scenery, there's some very tiny islands over there too small for people to live on, and sometimes some sea birds frequent them."
"Oh, yeah," said Larry, "Well, I'll enjoy that view, too."
Chris frowned. "What do you mean, Larry?"
Larry blushed, suddenly self-conscious.
Patti snickered. "When he was speaking before, he meant the view of me sunbathing. He really enjoys the sight of beautiful women, you see."
"Here, check this out," Chris invited them to check out the beach.
"It's great," said Larry, "White sand, clear waves, lots of crabs… I think the only minus for the beach is all those mangroves off to the left-hand side."
"Yes, I can't do anything about that, I'm afraid," said Chris, "It's illegal to remove most of the mangroves in this part of the country."
Patti had taken off her sandals. "The sand sure feels soft. Ideal for playing in, if Larry ever has children."
Larry stuttered. "I… I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that yet, Patti."
"But Larry, you're in your early 40s," said Patti, "I think 40 is a reasonable time to have kids."
"Yeah but, Patti, I think I'd make a better uncle figure than a father figure, frankly," said Larry. "I do have a nephew in Larry Lovage, remember?"
"Well, yes, but…" started Patti, "Oh well, all right. But I imagine Larry Lovage might love this place too, you know. If we buy it, it'd be only reasonable to invite him sometimes."
"Of course I'll invite him, Patti," insisted Larry, "What d'ya think I am, stupid?"
Patti blinked, then laughed. "Yes! But that's one of the things I love about you. Don't you know that?"
Larry was finally speechless. Chris decided to take advantage of the moment.
"There's one last original thing I have to show you on the island," he said. He led them back to the deck and down a very short path, where there was an elevated swimming pool with a ladder.
"Oh good!" said Larry, "It has a swimming pool. But I'm not sure if I like climbing up to the top of the pool and clambering back down every time I want to use it. I like to just dive in."
"I don't mind the climbing so much," said Patti, "But since this is first and foremost Larry's choice for a private island, I'll let him decide."
"So, what do you think overall?" Chris inquired of them.
"It's a nice house," said Larry, "I didn't like the open floor plan on the first floor much, and the bedroom could've been a little bit roomier, but the main bathroom is excellent, and I like that it has many good amenities, like I wanted. The deck is superb, and the yard is nice, even with the artificial turf, and the beach is pretty good, but the swimming pool leaves a little bit to be desired."
"I don't have as much of a problem with some of those things as Larry does," said Patti, "But I agree, it isn't perfect. It doesn't have the gazebo I wanted, for example. I'm also not sure if it looks as quaint from the outside as Larry wanted."
"No, I forgot to mention that, it doesn't," said Larry.
"But another plus is that it fits our budget," said Patti, "And $250,000 leftover is probably more than enough to get some nice, romantic furniture in here."
"It's good, but not perfect, and I need for it to be as close to perfect as possible," said Larry. "I wanna impress the ladies as well as myself."
"Don't we all?" said Chris with surprising sincerity. "Well then, let's go and look at another island, and see if it comes closer to your criteria."
"Will do," said Larry.
"Me too," said Patti.
On Island #2, Larry finds an island that is more quaint and down to earth, not to mention well under budget.
"She's beautiful!"
But it lacks some of the amenities he likes, and it also doesn't have a deck, or a large beach, though it does have a gazebo, something Patti wanted.
"I don't know how we'll easily use our computer here."
"At least we can have a nice outdoor 'honeymoon.'"
