Hello! Thank you, reviewers, I was really apprehensive about my story. I didn't know if my story was a good idea or not! Well, I've decided that enough people like my story for me to continue, and I (thankfully) can keep my outline!
Also, I should say that I am no longer looking for a beta, as my sister volunteered to help me out. Special thanks to ElfRanger!
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Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho
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Icha Icha
by McGrady
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Discussions
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Now in Ningenkai, Touya admired the grassy hills and the clear day that he just stepped in to. He looked over his shoulder, wondering why Hiei hadn't arrived through the Ningenkai end of the portal. After a moment, Hiei did indeed appear. Touya waited patiently for Hiei to catch up to him before they started up a large hill off to Genkai's temple, yet was struck by this recent peculiarity that was Hiei being late. They set a brisk walking tempo toward Genkai's temple.
"Hiei," began Touya.
"Hn?"
Touya opened his mouth, a sound just about to escape from his tongue, but Touya fought it and yanked it back in. He had almost questioned Hiei about why he had been a little late through the portal. After discussing Hiei's chances with the ferry girl, Touya noticed a slight mood change in his friend.
"It's…" Touya shook his head. "…nothing."
Hiei continued walking, looking straight ahead, but glanced at Touya through the corner of his eye. "Touya, when you speak, you tend to speak with purpose."
Touya quickly translated that into, "Tell me what you were going to say, fool!" He sighed and looked down at the grassy ground they were tredding on. This time, however, Hiei mimicked Touya's manipulation of silence, disingenuously convincing him to talk. Touya tossed his hesitation over his shoulder with resolution. "Hiei, it's uncommon to see you not perfectly punctual."
Hiei knew that Touya was addressing the moment Hiei thought to himself before following Touya through the portal. "I was thinking."
"Hiei, you prefer to perfrom multiple tasks simultaneously. Such as thinking and walking."
Hiei's eyebrows raised the slightest bit. He almost admired Touya's astuteness.
"You were thinking about her, weren't you, Hiei?"
He nodded. "I was, yes."
ooooo
In Botan's room, the two girls were frantically listing all the reasons Hiei just had to be gay in a notebook. Both were still excited about their newfound uncovery.
"He eats only healthy foods!"
"He sleeps in trees!"
"He wears a bandana!"
They had a half-page long list before they ran out of both ideas and energy. Now, everything was more serious.
"Botan, now that we've calmed down, I'm not so sure anymore…"
"Come on, now, Keiko-chan, we can't give up now!"
Keiko threw herself backwards into Botan's pillows. Looking into the ceiling, Keiko said, "Some gay people do what we listed. Hiei obviously does what we listed. But does that really mean he's gay? Not all gay people do this stuff."
Botan shrugged. "Does Yusuke eat healthy food?"
"Definitely not!"
"Is he gay?"
Suddenly, Keiko's body snapped into an upright sitting position. "Definitely not!"
Nodding, Botan began doodling a stick figure on the next page of the notebook. The figure started to resemble a big-headed Hiei. Botan straightened herself on the bed. "Does Yusuke care about trees?"
Keiko grimaced. "He's not exactly the caring type…"
Botan drew two fat vertical bars as eyes and a sloppy, incongruous curve as a smile. "But Hiei seems to be quite the tree hugger!"
"Botan-chan! Tree huggers and gay people are different!"
"But who would you say would more likely be a tree hugger," pressed Botan, as she drew some healthy trees around Stick Hiei, "A gay person or a straight person?"
Keiko threw herself back into the pillows.
Botan continued her argument. "And bandanas…"
"That I can't argue with. Yusuke is too straight for one of those."
Nodding, Botan proceeded to draw a bandana onto Stick Hiei, planting a flamboyant flower right in the middle of the forehead.
ooooo
Genkai's temple was peering over the hill now. Neither spoke as they reached the top of the hill, admiring the beauty of the temple. Hiei made a brief connection between Genkai's residence and Dalin's, thinking that Genkai's temple resembled what might be Dalin Temple's little brother. The two quickly found themselves at the base of the steps, noting how each step was dwarfed by the steps they had just descended.
Touya took the first step. "So, Hiei. Why do you like her?"
Hiei let a small admonishing growl slip as he followed.
"I'm sorry. What makes you think about her?"
Nodding approvingly at the correction, Hiei took another moment to regret bringing this up to Touya. "Well…" Why did he do it? "…hm."
Touya slowed his pace up the steps while Hiei soon followed suit. "Take your time, we're in no rush."
Hiei knew that he simply wanted to know more about his thoughts of the ferry girl. He roughly ran a hand through his ebony hair. "She's pretty," admitted Hiei, "I'll give her that."
Touya decided to employ an old ruse that he used to cajole his big brother to give him more information about his girlfriends. To execute the ruse effectively, Touya would doubt the appearance of the girl in question. He began by snorting obnoxiously at Hiei's comments about Botan being pretty.
Hiei glared at Touya. "Well, she is!"
As he stared ahead at the top of the stairs, Touya's face twisted with incredulity.
Hiei huffed almost femininely, stuffing his hands in his pockets in exasperation.
Touya turned to Hiei, raising his hands defensively as he now ascended the stairs sideways, announcing, "Hiei, I'm not even sure if I'm thinking of the same girl as you are! I might not have even met her!"
Raising his eyebrows with new understanding, Hiei silently forgave Touya. "She is pretty," asserted Hiei, but then shrugged. "At least I think so."
"Ah. Would you mind describing her for me? Why you might think so?"
Hiei dropped his gaze, blushing slightly. Touya smirked.
"She's got nice eyes," Hiei began sheepishly, "and nice hair."
"I see." Touya noted how quickly Hiei blushed. "Is she a fighter?"
Hiei chuckled a little, bemused. "Hardly. Her favorite weapon is a stick made of tin. And she's out of shape. Probably not athletic in the slightest bit."
Touya leapt at the opportunity to employ his ruse again. "So you're into fat women?"
ooooo
Keiko was now admiring Botan's portrait of Stick Hiei. After drawing the flower, Botan embellished it with cuddly forest animals and topped it off with a big, friendly rainbow. Keiko giggled at Stick Hiei's oversized head, which looked like it was falling off the body.
"You know, Keiko, I just came up with more evidence."
Keiko looked up from the drawing. Botan stood from the bed and began pacing around the room like a scientist intent on debunking one of Newton's laws. "Hiei wears sleeveless shirts."
Keiko watched her move from wall to wall. "Okay."
"And," stressed Botan, pointing a finger toward the ceiling, "we know that there is a prerequisite to be able to wear sleeveless shirts."
Both girls knew "the sleeveless shirt rule for men" and mechanically recited, "One mustn't wear sleeveless shirts unless he has big arms."
Keiko's eyes lit up. "Ah! That's a big one! Hiei's arms are wimpy! Do you remember the exception to the rule?"
Botan snapped around, facing Keiko and smiling brightly. The girls together enthusiastically announced, "One mustn't wear sleeveless shirts unless he has big arms. The only exception is if he is GAY!"
ooooo
Hiei shot a piercing glare at his companion. "She's not fat!"
Touya mentally commended himself for deciding to employ the ruse at this moment. "But if she's really out of shape, she must be fat."
"No, she's not fat," insisted Hiei, "She's pretty and has a slender body!"
"Ah," murmured Touya, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Hiei took this time to remember Botan's thin frame and friendly face, hoping she didn't change for the worst while he was gone. Touya grinned mischievously and decided to step over the line a little. "Is she taller than you?"
Touya took a few more steps before realizing that Hiei was no longer with him. He stopped and gazed at the temple before them. They were about half way up.
"Hiei?" called Touya absently, expecting a "hn" in reply.
No answer. Suddenly, Touya was on guard and took a defensive stance, looking upward – he knew that Hiei loved to attack from above. However, he only heard a pathetic groan from beneath him. There, Hiei had fallen flat against the stairs, his legs tangled, his face firmly planted into the steps. "Hiei, what happened?"
Hiei clumsily stood and brushed his pants with his hands. "I tripped."
The opportunities for Touya to smirk were simply jumping at him today! "How did the ever-so-graceful Hiei Jaganshi end up on the ground?"
Hiei began to continue climbing, obdurately refusing to make contact with Touya's mocking eyes. "She was taller than me." Hiei took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "Was!"
As Touya followed Hiei, he felt like humming and skipping. "It would have been so interesting watching the shorter you ask the taller ferry girl for a kiss."
ooooo
While Yusuke and Kuwabara argued over whether or not Yusuke cheated on the final hand of poker, Kurama gathered the poker chips, trying to ignore their childish bickering. He just started collecting the cards when Yusuke's communicater started beeping. Yusuke seemed to not notice it, continuing his argument with Kuwabara, when Kurama decided to intervene. "Yusuke, I think someone wants to talk to you."
Yusuke, just about to sock Kuwabara in the face, looked up at Kurama. This time, he heard the beep and let go of his friend. Kuwabara fell to the ground. Sitting up on the floor and smoothing out wrinkles in his shirt, Kuwabara said indignantly, "I swear, Urameshi, you had an Ace up your sleeve!"
"Shut up, Kuwabara!"
Kurama sighed. They were incorrigible! He decided to help out Yukina with dinner. Yusuke began answering his communicator as he took a seat on Genkai's living room couch. "Urameshi."
Fumbling with thick folders placed on his desk in front of him, a busy Koenma threw them down when he noticed his detective finally answered. "Yusuke," greeted Koenma tersely, obviously overwhelmed, "I have the details for your mission!"
Kuwabara joined Yusuke on the couch and tentatively asked Koenma, "This is the one you don't want me to go on, right?"
The toddler glared at Kuwabara through the communicator, pointing at him with an accusing finger. "The last time I sent you on a diplomatic mission, you incited a civil war!"
Kuwabara chuckled timidly and stuck an arm behind his head. "Heh, I guess that was completely my fault, eh?"
Yusuke turned to him, snickering, muttering to Kuwabara, "He's probably still doing paperwork for that!"
"We will NOT," declared Koenma, slamming his hands authoritatively on his desk, "discuss that incident or any of its ramifications!"
Yusuke and Kuwabara snapped their attention back to Koenma, feeling apprehensive about the toddler's belligerent tone. Koenma glared at Kuwabara again and bellowed, "Go away! I'm mad at you!"
Noticing Yukina in the kitchen, Kuwabara complied without hesitation. Yusuke watched him run off to help prepare for dinner a bit before redirecting himself toward Koenma. "So, as you were saying, the details."
"Yes, the details," responded Koenma, straightening his back and recomposing himself. "Only you, Kurama, and Hiei will go. Hiei returns today."
Yusuke nodded. "I sense him and another person already."
"The other is an escort who I believe is Touya."
Yusuke snickered. "Isn't Hiei a bit too old for a babysitter?"
Koenma leaned forward, his stare intensifying. "Hiei is in no condition to safely walk around Makai in solitude."
Yusuke raised an eyebrow.
Now, Koenma disappeared for a bit, to reach a lower desk draw, Yusuke presumed, and reappeared with a new file. "According to my records, Hiei is healthy–"
"–So what's the big deal–"
"–YUSUKE! You interrupted me again!"
Yusuke rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath inaudibly. Koenma sighed helplessly. "As I was saying, Hiei is healthy, but due to the Dalin Temple graduation exam, he lost almost 97 percent of his spirit energy within the last eight hours."
"What!" Yusuke, suddenly paying attention again, was appalled. "I've never lost more than 85!"
Koenma flipped through the new file to a different page. "Actually, you're life-time spirit energy low is minus 82 percent."
Yusuke crossed his arms. He felt like standing up and leaving. "Get to the point, Koenma!"
"My point," declared Koenma stately, "is that Hiei cannot fight for at least a week. At least. His spirit is very fragile and Hiei's fighting style consumes energy quickly."
"Really? Hiei's among the most efficient fighters I know!"
"He was efficient. Now, Hiei supports a larger body frame, controls a more powerful Jagan eye, and weilds four swords and two conflicting elements. If you mix that in with his trademark speed and Darkness Flame, you get an alarmingly inefficient repertoire of techniques. Hiei still needs months to regain his efficiency."
Yusuke stared dumbly.
"Yusuke, did you catch that?"
"Did you say Hiei is taller now?"
"No, but I implied that. In fact, he's gained nineteen centimeters in height."
Yusuke laughed out loud. "I'm still four times the punk's size!"
ooooo
"Now, Hiei, you know I was kidding, right?"
Hiei never felt so embarrassed in his life. He lost a good deal of his pride when he uncharacteristically tripped and when Touya realized that Hiei had yet to kiss a girl. Additionally, Hiei could imagine how Yusuke and Kuwabara would make a ceremonious mockery of his additional height, which still left him noticably shorter than both. But to top it all off, today Hiei learned that he had no chance with the only woman he's ever had intimate thoughts about. Hiei would remember this day as the most uncomfortable day of his life.
For once, Touya regreted using his pry-out-information-about-the-girl ruse. He had only seen Hiei walk with his head held high, so he was unaccustomed to seeing him dragging his feet up the final steps, his shoulders slumped forward, his hands in his hair with distress. Touya felt it was the entire difficulty was his fault. "Hiei, I'm serious, I'm sorry. What I said was unwarranted."
Hiei was beginning to feel the effects of having only 3 percent of his spirit energy. He felt a wave of torpor hit his body and he suddenly felt like taking a long, deep nap. "I guess after all you've taught me," said Hiei, stifling a yawn, "the least I can do is forgive you."
Touya, having seen his own share of his students pass the Dalin Temple graduation exam, knew that Hiei needed rest. "I suggest you eat a very large meal before you sleep. If you don't eat, you'll wake up the next day regretting it."
Now at the top of the stairs, the two faced each other. Once master and pupil, they shook hands as equal friends. "I don't say this about too many people," said Hiei, "but I will miss you."
Touya smiled. "I know. I will miss my best student as well."
They turned their backs on each other and walked in different directions, their paths diverging, both too proud to say "good bye." As Hiei walked along the trail to the temple's entrance, he heard Touya leap into the air and fade into the colors of the wind.
ooooo
Stick Hiei now resided in a pink picture frame, complete with Botan's autograph. Botan had just left her room with Keiko to join Yukina in the kitchen to help prepare for dinner. They could already smell the rich sent of Yukina's special Chinese pork.
"You know, Keiko-chan," said Botan as she closed her door, "I kind of regret coming to the conclusion that Hiei is gay."
Tying her hair into a ponytail, Keiko glanced at Botan. "Why so?"
Botan smiled playfully as she beckoned Keiko to follow her down the stairs. "Now, I'm not the fangirl type, but I must give Hiei credit where it's due. Even if he is gay."
Botan now had Keiko's full attention. The brunette wasn't sure if she wanted her friend to elaborate.
"Keiko," sighed the ferry girl wistfully, "I'm quite fond of Hiei's ass."
ooooo
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This concludes the chapter! I think I should establish some facts, though:
1.) Dalin Temple is a parody of the renowned Shaolin Temple. "Shaolin" means "little forest" while "dalin" means "big forest."
2.) Largely, I fabricated "the sleeveless shirt rule for men." But it holds to a certain extent! I know it!
3.) I feel that the "pry-out-information-about-the-girl ruse" works sometimes, but I wouldn't recommend trying it!
Please review!
