The sound of the door slamming allowed me to finally breathe. A night of drunken giggles, moans, and a fuck ton of tears left me feeling utterly defeated and broken. Not that I had a right to, this was entirely my fault anyways.
I rolled over and picked up my phone, 1:17 am, and no way in hell I'm getting back to sleep anytime soon. And being the shitty person I am, I called the number one contact in my phone.
"Mm?" The groggy voice on the other end greeted me.
"Hey, are you busy?" The sound of a bed creaking on the other end didn't even need to be heard to know that he was suddenly awake. Even I could hear the desperate tone of my voice and the tears clogging my throat.
"I'm already on my way." He whispered before the line cut out.
Wrapping my sheet around my shoulders, I found myself standing in front of the bathroom mirror trying to wash away the redness in my cheeks. Damn these stupid emotions.
The telltale sound of feet hitting my carpet and a flash of light made the call of my name completely redundant.
"Twenty minutes," I chuckled as I walked back into the room. "That's gotta be a record."
"Clearly it was twenty minutes too long." Danny said as pulled me into his arms and sat back on the bed. "What happened?"
The familiarity of this position, my legs draped over his and my head on his shoulder almost made me want to cry just as much as the story I was about to tell him. "Another one," I whispered as he brushed a tear from my face. "She brought home another girl."
"Sam, I'm so sorry." He whispered, tightening his arms around me. "I'm sure it's just a phase. It'll pass."
"I should just-" I stopped short as I looked up at him. My fingers grazed the obvious bruising on his neck, and a slight pang of unworthy jealousy hit me. "Were you busy? I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you."
"I'm never too busy for you." He muttered under his breath before changing his position so I couldn't see the hickey anymore.
I couldn't hold it in anymore as the sobs came barreling out of me just before the tears. It hurts, and I know I've only brought this on myself. How dare I be upset about him moving on when I was the one who ended things. His personality was so easy to fall in love with, but his body, as shallow as that seems, just wasn't the right fit for me.
He tried shushing me, but I just shook him off. "Why couldn't I be straight? Or at least bi? We were perfect." I mumbled incoherently through gasps of air.
"Don't say that." He whispered. "You can't change who you are. And I would never ask you to." He rubbed familiar circles into my back. There had been plenty of nights just over a year ago when we would sneak into each others rooms and try to convince ourselves that we were okay, even though we were entirely heartbroken. Hell, we still are.
"I hate this. I hate that I'm in love with both of you. I hate that I had the perfect guy but I'm gay. I hate that I'm so…" I trailed off and took a breath to slow down my words. "Vulnerable. I should just leave. She's almost 19, ready for college. She doesn't need me anymore."
He didn't speak for a long time, and with how well I know him, I could tell it was because he was on the brink of tears. But he always had to be strong for me. He always tries to save me, be my hero, as if he didn't already know that he always had been. He hates crying in front of me, always assured me it was okay for me to cry in front of him.
I don't deserve him, friend or more. And it is absolutely killing me that Dani, the person I've been pining for since I found out she existed, doesn't even give me a second glance. Yet here is Danny, ready to put down any and everything for me.
"I don't think you should give up yet." He finally said. "I think you'd be surprised how clueless we Fentons can be, even about our own feelings."
I really didn't know how to respond to that, because if I just said that I'm ready to give up again, he'd just argue with me. But it was all unnecessary, because that familiar blue mist came from his mouth and his face became serious.
"Ghost time," we said together. He smiled at me, kissed my forehead, and was gone. Leaving me utterly alone and way too lost to tag along.
After about ten minutes of self pity, I started packing. It was time to move on. I already caused myself and others so much heartache. I had most of my bathroom and a good majority of my clothes in suitcases when I heard a frustrated groan come from down the hall.
"Sam?" Came Dani's weak voice, and I knew I couldn't ignore it, even if I was frustrated with her at the moment.
Letting myself into her room lead to a sight I hadn't seen in quite a while. There was a bad burn mark on her shoulder that she was attempting to put ointment on, and a big gash along her left thigh below her sleep shorts.
"Fuck," I whispered as I picked up an alcohol wipe from the open med kit next to her. "What happened?"
"Skulker. Upgrade," she hissed and winced as I cleaned her wound. "You know the drill."
I focused on the task at hand, had her bandaged within a couple minutes because of how accustomed to these injuries we have all become.
"I'm sorry if I woke you up," she mumbled. "I know it's late." I shrugged, trying not to think of what had actually woken me up. I started back to my room to finish my packing. I'd have to tell her I'm leaving in the morning, right now just didn't feel like the time. "I really appreciate you," she called after me. I didn't turn around, but she continued. "I probably wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you taking care of me."
I closed my door behind me and fell into a new puddle of tears. When I finally picked myself up off the ground, I started unpacking.
Two years I've been tortured by living with her, and if it meant keeping her alive, I wouldn't trade it for the world.
