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"Hey, Edward!" Alice called enthusiastically. She ran down the stairs, a streak of black hair and white skin, coming to a sudden and graceful stop in front of me. Carlisle and Esme shot warning glances at her, but I liked it. It was natural—for her, anyway.
"Hi, Bella!" Alice said, and she bounced forward to kiss my cheek. If Carlisle and Esme had looked cautious before, they now looked staggered. There was shock in my eyes, too, but I was also very pleased that she seemed to approve of me so entirely. I was startled to feel Edward stiffen at my side. I glanced at his face, but his expression was unreadable.
"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," she commented, to my extreme embarrassment.
Twilight pg. 323
I didn't say anything for a while; all my thoughts were on her kissing my cheek. It felt nice, like nothing I had ever felt before. Wait, how could Alice just walk up to me and kiss me, granted it was on the cheek but still, when it took Edward forever just to stand to be around me? My thoughts are interrupted when Edward clears his throat. I shake my head and glance around the room to find that Jasper has joined us.
"Hi, Jasper." I say quietly giving a small wave. He smiles slightly wraps his arm around Alice's shoulders, who had moved to stand next to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. I couldn't stop the thought of wishing that it was me her arm was wrapped around.
"Hello, Bella." Jasper says, and I can hear a faint southern accent in his tone. I look around the house again, noticing that neither Emmett nor Rosalie are here. I shake my head; maybe not everyone liked me after all.
"You have a beautiful home. Thank you for having me over." I say looking at Carlisle and Esme.
"Oh, thank you, dear, it's nice having someone over." Esme says sincerely and I blush. I glance at Carlisle and see him staring intently at Edward. When Edward nods, I look away from their private conversation.
"So, Jasper. Edward tells me you have a gift." I say shyly, and he nods.
"I do. I can feel and manipulate emotions. For example, right now you are feeling very nervous and shy." He pauses and turns to Alice. "While Alice here is almost vibrating with happiness." Jasper says smiling fondly at his wife. I frown at him, suddenly feeling sorry for him. "Why do you feel sorry for me?" He asks confusion evident in his tone.
"I'm just thinking how hard it must be for you to deal with everyone at school. I know that me just feeling my emotions is over whelming at times, I can't imagine what it would be like to feel everyone's." I pause and another thing occurs to me. "Is that why," I pause, not sure how to phrase my question, "you have more trouble than others coping to your guys' lifestyle? Because you can feel their thirst, too?" I ask looking down. When no one answers I back track, thinking that I have offended someone. "I mean, I'm sorry, it's none of my business, I shouldn't have asked." I say quickly. I look up quickly when I feel a cold hand grasp my own. Alice is next to me, holding my hand in her own, a smile gracing her features.
"No, there is no need to apologize. And, to answer your question, yes. That is why I have more difficulty adjusting. You shouldn't feel sorry for me either. It helps me to tell when people are upset or sad." He glances at Edward, "or when feelings are true and pure." I glance nervously between them, feeling as if another conversation is taking place. I change the subject when I can feel Edward vibrating beside me, a frown marring his features.
"Oh, um, Alice. Edward tells me you can see the future… sort of." I say and sigh in relief when everyone focuses on Alice. Jasper glances at me when I sigh however and frowns.
"It's more premonitions, really. The future changes with peoples' decisions. I wouldn't be able to see your future unless you decided to do something. That's why I might see ten different outcomes for one situation; it all depends on the decisions that are made." She says squeezing my hand.
"Cool." I say smiling at her, and she giggles.
"It can be… it's good for school and all that." Edward clears his throat, but it sounds more like a growl.
"Edward, can we talk in my office?" Carlisle asks a frown appearing on his face. Edward nods, head hanging slightly. When they move towards what I assume is Carlisle's office, Esme ushers us to the living room.
"Bella, dear, can I get you something to drink?" Esme asks kindly.
"Um, water please." I say. Alice plops down next to me on the couch, Jasper sitting next to her. I look at both of them in concern. "Are you sure I haven't crossed any lines. Edward was growling an awful lot. I didn't mean to do… whatever I did." I say softly.
"Silly human, you didn't do anything. Edward is just temperamental is all. He just needs to learn to share." Alice says but without her usual bubbly tone.
"Especially what isn't his to start with." Jasper mumbles. I cock my head to the side and stare questioningly at Alice.
"What? What isn't his?" I ask. Jasper goes to speak but Alice beats him to it.
"Nothing, actually. What they are talking about isn't anyone's property." She sighs and looks into my eyes. "Vampires, by nature, are very selfish creatures. Even if something isn't technically ours, if we claim it, we feel that no one else is allowed to have it. Edward is selfish, even for a vampire." She finishes and smiles, but I can tell that it is forced. I go to ask what they are specifically they are talking about when Edward walks into the room and possessively wraps an arm around my waist. He pulls me into a separate room.
"Carlisle and I need to go out for a few hours. I apologize for cutting this visit short." He says and smiles crookedly but something is off, I can tell in his eyes. A thought occurs to me, I could stay here, get to know Alice better, find out what she was talking about.
"Do you think I could maybe stay here, until you get back, that is? I would like to get to know Alice better. Jasper and Esme as well." I add quickly. I frown when sadness momentarily crosses his features.
"Sure. I'm positive Alice would love to spend some time with you. I'll only be gone for a few hours but I'll have my phone so don't hesitate to call me if you need anything." He says all emotion absent from his voice and features.
"Edward, have I done something wrong?" I ask hesitantly. "I mean I can go home if it is more convenient for everyone. I don't mind." Edward just shakes his head and a real smile twitches at his lips.
"You can do nothing wrong, Bella. I just need some time to accept and think about things. And before you ask, none of this is your fault. As my siblings so charmingly put it, I am selfish. I just need some time to think is all. I'll be back." Edward finishes with a kiss to my forehead. He turns and only then do I see Carlisle in the doorway, a sympathetic look in his eyes.
"We won't be gone too long, Bella. I'll have him back shortly." Carlisle says with a kind smile. I smile weakly back at him and in a blink of an eye they are gone. Now alone, I guess I should go and talk to Alice. No sooner do I decide to do this, is she at my side, looping her arm in mine. She pulls me gently up the stairs and into, what I presume is, her and Jasper's room. We sit on the bed and I can feel her staring intently at me.
"Edward says that none of this is my fault, but I can't help but think that it is." I say, finally returning the pixie's gaze. Alice shakes her head and grabs my hand. A pleasant tingling sensation shoots up my arm and I can't prevent the gasp from leaving my lips. Alice pulls away instantly. Missing the contact, I reach for her hand and entwine her fingers. Before I realize what I am doing, I kiss her knuckles. What has gotten into me? My God, I mean Alice is Edward's sister. I can't be having these feelings for her… I'm not even really sure what these feelings are. I have known her for a total of an hour and she makes me feel what I felt for Edward after weeks of talking. I don't know what's wrong with me. I must have been thinking for a while because the next thing I know Alice is calling my name and shaking me gently, worry written clearly in her features and swirling in her golden eyes.
"Bella, are you alright?" She asks with such care that it startles me. I sigh.
"I don't know, Alice, I'm just so confused." I say and notice that I am rubbing her knuckles with my thumb. I immediately drop her hand and move off of the bed. I love Edward; I can't be feeling these things with anyone else, especially his sister.
"Bella, what's wrong, you know that you can tell me right?" I can hear the hurt in her voice. Why is she hurt, because I moved?
"No, I can't. Not this. I need to go home; will you tell Edward that I said that I will see him Monday?" I don't even wait for a response, I just move for the door, trying to hide the tears and blush. I don't reach the door, instead I find myself wrapped in cold yet protective arms and being rocked back and forth. I can't stop the tears from falling.
"Shh, Bella, I'm hear. What's wrong, sweetie?" She asks and I cry harder. "Bella?"
"I think… I think I need to talk to Jasper." I whisper out, trying desperately to stop crying.
"Oh, okay. Just a minute." The disappointment, hurt, and worry in her voice pull at my heart and I almost call her back so that I can tell her. I don't have to wait long before Jasper appears before me. He turns to Alice and I see his mouth move but I don't catch what he says, but Alice leaves the room.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Jasper asks concerned. I chuckle slightly.
"You tell me, you can feel my emotions. I am so confused Jasper. I don't know what to do." I say and look down at my feet, blushing once again.
"You are wondering why you feel so connected to Alice, even though you have only known her for an hour, yes?" I nod my head in response. "Bella, what has Edward told you of Vampire relationships?" I look back up at him.
"He told me that I was his singer." I say quietly. Jasper nods.
"You see, Bella, vampires have mates. I believe you humans call them soul mates? Our mates are the one thing that matter the most to us. We can't live without them, once we find them. You see, it could take decades; centuries even to find our mates. When a vampire finds their mate, a connection is instantly made. They root you to this world, they become your world. Any other relationships are broken off. It really is indescribable. Rosalie and Emmett are mates, as are Esme and Carlisle. And contrary to what the people at school think, Alice and I are not going out.
"A singer, Bella, is when someone's blood calls out to a vampire stronger than anyone else. You happen to be Edward's singer but not his mate." Jasper trails off and looks at me expectantly. I get lost in my thoughts. Jasper said that they feel instantly connected. Edward and I certainly didn't have that… but Alice and I did. Alice made me feel warm inside. I felt safe with her. I didn't like it when she had her arms around Jasper. The unconscious kissing of her knuckles and linking our fingers. Then it hit me. I knew I was right when a small smile plays on Jasper's lips.
"I'm not Edward's mate. But I am someone's mate, aren't I?' I ask shyly. When Jasper nods, worry hits me like a freight train. Jasper frowns suddenly.
"Bella, calm down. What's wrong?"
"I don't know what to do. I haven't had a real relationship before really… besides Edward, and you can't really count that… and I've certainly never had one with a girl before." At this point I'm hyperventilating. A wave of calm washes over me and I start to breathe normally.
"Nothing changes, Bella. She loves you; her being a girl doesn't change that. You two are made for each other." Jasper says soothingly and I calm down further until a thought bursts my little bubble of calm.
"Oh my God! What about Edward. I can't do this, Jasper. I mean we just started going out and he—"Jasper cuts me off with another wave of calm.
"That is what Carlisle took him out for. He needed to explain to Edward what would happen, and that neither he, you, nor Alice could change what was going to happen. And when it did happen, Edward would have to let you go. We all thought that it would take longer." Jasper finishes, talking more to himself than me.
"What do you mean? You knew this was going to happen?" I ask be wildered.
"Alice had had a vision of you coming a while before you got here. Everyone knew from the way she talked about you and the expressions when she did that you were her mate. But when Edward met you and you happened to be his singer, he 'claimed' you before she could even talk to you. And, Alice being Alice, she stepped down." He says smiling fondly while shaking his head.
"So, you mean, what you guys were talking about earlier, was actually me?" I pinch the bridge of my nose when he nods.
This is a lot to take in. It explained what I was feeling for Alice, but how could I talk to Edward about this? And me being Alice's mate… that is going to take some time to soak in entirely. The first step I guess is to talk to Edward. I turn and look at Jasper.
"Alice already called him. She was so worried and didn't know what else to do." I cringe; I didn't mean to make her feel helpless. "She'll be fine. Edward should be here any moment though. I suggest you talk in his room. It's down the hall on your left." Jasper says with a small smile and leaves me alone in his and Alice's room. Putting his advice into action, I move into Edward's room. Not a moment after I sit on the couch does he appear next to me.
I open my mouth to say something, but I realize that I don't know what to say. Instead I look away and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. The couch dips and I feel him wrap an arm around my shoulders. The tears start to fall freely.
"Edward, I-I didn't mean t-to. I don't k-know what is w-wrong." I get out before he pulls me into his side and I start to sob into his chest.
"Bella, I told you, this isn't your fault. I knew this would happen eventually. I shouldn't have done it in the first place, but I did. This is my fault, not yours. Carlisle saw the signs before I did and he wanted to warn me… we didn't think you would react this fast. It's okay, Bella." Edward says rubbing my back soothingly.
"What about us… I mean you—"I am cut off when he places a marble finger to my lips.
"You are my singer, not my mate. I will find my mate eventually, we all do, but for now just know that you will make Alice the happiest person alive by being with her. I'm not mad or upset, Bella. I enjoy the time we spent together. Now, we can spend it together as friends." By now I have stopped crying. He wasn't mad or upset, that made me feel better. "Please don't be sad. You can make Alice so happy, she deserves it. Will you do that for me, I promise you the pros heftily outweigh the cons." He smiles a real smile at me. I smile back and nod. "Good." He kisses my forehead and lifts me from the couch. "She is outside. In the backyard." He says and pushes me out of his room.
I wander down stairs and pass Carlisle and Esme, who smile gently at me. I smile weakly in return. Esme frowns slightly and walks over to me and wraps me in a hug. "It'll be okay, Bella, I promise." She says lovingly and I hug her tighter. When she pulls away she kisses my forehead and squeezes my hand. I smile and turn to the door that leads outside.
I pause when I see her. She is sitting up against a tree, looking utterly lost. Slowly, I make my way to her. I pause right before I reach her, not sure what to do. Making a decision, I sit next to her, leaving a few inches of space between us. What seems like hours of silence passes before she says something.
"Are you okay?" She asks and the sadness in her voice makes my heart ache.
"I'm certainly less confused. I'm not sure if I'm okay yet." I say sincerely, and smile weakly at her. She doesn't return it. "Are you okay?" I ask timidly.
"I'm fine." She says but I can see that she's isn't.
"That's a lie, Alice." I whisper, looking at the ground.
"I will never lie to you, Bella. I promise you that." She says fiercely and I am taken aback.
"Then what's wrong?"
"I-, "she sighs, "I don't want to talk about it." I look at her, really look at her. The light that was in her eyes earlier has vanished. Her bubbly personality isn't there and her ever present smile is gone, too. I caused all of this? It hits me that this hurts worse, so much worse, than what I felt when I thought that Edward would be upset. I scoot closer so that almost no space is between our bodies. I gently grasp her chin and turn her head so that she is looking at me.
"I am so sorry." I whisper and I see the confusion cross her features. "I never meant to hurt you." Shock replaces confusion and she grasps my hand in her own.
"I know that you were confused… I just wanted to help." She says desperately and it almost breaks my heart.
"I was confused because I was feeling things for someone who, I thought, I shouldn't be feeling things for. I was wrong. I didn't want to hurt anyone, but I did anyway." I smile gently at her and I can see the realization light her eyes. "Forgive me?" I ask.
"Always." Alice replies breathlessly and with a new found courage, I leaned forward and kissed her.
