Rifiuto: Non Miriena
A/N: Written: 2010. Rewritten: 2015. Found: 2019.- Licia
Finally, I'm out of that house.
Granted, I'm attending university, but at this point, I could cross the Impassable Desert and it would still be the biggest weight off my shoulders. Not that I'll escape Mama or the others, but at least I'm away from that man. And that, in and of itself, is perhaps the biggest relief of all.
Shiz University looms before me, a sprawling campus of old, ivy-covered brick buildings, winding paths, expansive commons. I've read of the history of Shiz University; how it was the first major place of education to open its doors to women back in the eighteen hundreds, and how it had survived riots, war, fire and near destruction. It had seen so much and was still standing, still opened its doors to students of all races and classes.
Heaving a sigh, I adjusted the rucksack on my shoulder and grabbed my suitcases. The walk to the Admissions building wasn't long, but it was just long enough to distract me from the voices whispering in my ear. Eventually, I reached the building and hurried up the steps to the front lobby. A long, Quoxwood table stretched out before me, and after quietly waiting my turn, I stepped up to the woman seated directly before me.
"Um... Thropp, Elphaba." I pulled my paperwork out of my pocket, unfolding it and handing it over. The woman glanced up, a look of surprise crossing her features and I sighed. "Before you ask, yes, I've always been green. No, I didn't eat grass as a child, and no, it's not contagious. I was born this way." The woman nodded once, before hurriedly turning back to the log book.
"Elphaba Sophelia Thropp. Crage Hall, Room three-fifteen. Here are the directions to Crage Hall, and a basic layout of the campus as well as your schedule for the semester. Welcome to Shiz." She held out a key, and I took it and my paperwork back, thanking her quickly before grabbing my things and hurrying from the building. I had no desire to stay for orientation; all I wanted was to find my dorm and curl up for a few hours.
Other students milled about, some of them knew each other, others didn't and were getting to know other students. I could feel glances being thrown my way, but ignored them as I made my way to my dorm and eventually slipped inside. Traversing the three flights of stairs to the third floor, I hurried down the hall before stopping at three-fifteen. Without a word, I slid the key into the lock and turned it; I could hear the tumblers begin to click into place, and soon pulled the door open, slipping inside.
The room was basic, like I'm sure most college dorms are- a bed, a desk, a dresser and a closet, with a small fireplace in the corner and a small bathroom- but this dorm had two of everything except the fireplace and bathroom; that was obviously to be shared between me and another girl.
"Well, isn't this... quaint?" I turned, sighing in resignation as she moved past me into the room.
"You came?" I kick the door shut behind me and feel my rucksack drop from my shoulder into the crook of my elbow. "Silly me, of course you came. You'll never leave me alone, will you? Why can't you be like a normal mother, who hugs and kisses her oldest before she leaves and then let's her go away to college?"
She turned back to me from running a finger along the desk. "You know that's not possible, Fabala."
"I know." I can feel my cheeks turning darker, and have the decency to feel ashamed for getting so upset. My first response is to turn away, locking my gaze on the ground. "I'm sorry, Mama. I just... it gets frustrating. You won't leave me alone, you won't let me have a normal life, any of you-"
"Now wait a moment, Fabala. I gave you as normal a life as I possible could when I was still- before I- before that monster-" She stopped, chewing the inside of her cheek. "I'm sorry you were given this, Fabala, I really am. I never meant for it to happen-"
I turned back to her. "You didn't give this to me! I was... born with it or... or something! It's just another part of my... freak-of-nature existence! This isn't your fault!"
"I know, Fabala, and I wish I could figure out some way to stop it, or at least find a name, so that you had something to go by." She swallowed against the lump in her throat, and reached up to brush at the tears on her cheeks. "Look at me, crying over something as silly as my not providing for you, when I should be crying because you got into Shiz. My baby is a college girl. Sweetheart, I'm so proud of you."
I sighed, letting her reach up to take my face in her hands. Despite all her faults, despite her leaving me alone, despite everything, she's still my mother, and I love her. And to be honest, I'm glad she's always with me, even if she does get on my nerves most of the time. Mama was the only one that saw beneath my skin, that didn't see the me as the 'weird child' for being able to speak with spirits. She took me seriously, even as she doubted herself, and questioned everything she thought she knew about her marriage.
Silence falls between us, before she finally asks, "Do you know what you're going to study?"
All I can do is shrug. "Haven't given it much thought. If I could, I'd take classes to... to learn more about... about this." I gesture between us, and she nods. "But there aren't any courses on something like this, so I guess I'll just... take a few and see where my interests take me." She nods again, giving me a small smile.
"Just don't bury yourself too deep in studying, Fabala. You need to have a little fun. You're in college after all."
I roll my eyes. "Right, Mama. Because I'm such a party girl."
I turn as I hear the door to my dorm open, and watch in surprise as a petite blonde enters, carrying at least four suitcases. She drops them all on the floor, and looks up, her own eyes widening in shock. When she speaks, she reminds me of a chipmunk, or a squirrel on too much helium. "I... must have the wrong room."
I struggle to speak for several minutes, before glancing down at the number on my paperwork. "Crage Hall, room... three-fifteen?"
The blonde quickly glances at her own paperwork, before nodding slowly in dismay. "Three-fifteen." She huffs in annoyance and crosses her arms. "I was told I was going to have a private room."
I roll my eyes as she looks up, disgust flashing across her face as our gazes lock. "Let me make this really easy for both of us, then." I gather my things and stride to the bed closest to the fireplace, dropping my things onto it before turning to face her. "I stay out of your way, and you stay out of mine. Clear?"
She glances at the other bed, screwing up her mouth in annoyance, and then dumps her own bags onto the bed before striding to the door. "As Gillikin crystal."
Once she's gone, I collapse onto my bed with a groan. "It's going to be a long year."
