Disclaimer: I do not own LotR……unfortunately. Or fortunately because I would lock up Legolas and that would ruin the story!

Story start:

The first thing I noticed as I woke up was that I indeed had the ability to wake up AT ALL. Though I may be dumb, I KNEW that I had died. Someone with common sense would think 'hey maybe a doctor brought me back!'…Well that person would be wrong. To start, though I felt AMAZING, I could feel the dried blood on my shirt. I could also feel that instead of a not-so-comfy hospital bed, I was on the cold forest floor. A forest because I could feel TONS of dirt, a stick, the shade (christie13194: yes you can feel the shade…. STOP SNICKERING DEBBIE Deb: is laughing hahahaha…. feelsnortthewheezeSHAAAAAADE falls to floor laughing me: twitch twitch), the wind, and insects crawling up my ar-WAAAAAIT, INSECTS! "GAAAH mother of shit! GEEET OFFFFF!" I screeched while jumping around getting tons of black, little bugs off of myself.

Meanwhile:

A short distance away in the forest of Mirkwood, 3 large spiders sat contemplating their next meal. Large food had been scarce as of late; since travelers had decided to travel Mirkwood was too dangerous a trail. It also did not help that the elves had grown to smart for their tricks, and now knew the forest better than they. They prayed to whatever god would answer them for a decent meal yet none could be found. That is until, seemingly out of nowhere a loud screech echoed through the forest. Each Spider looked at one another in a giddy fashion, and with a satisfied 'click, slice, slice' of their pinchers they took off after their new meal. Each leaping from tree to gray tree leaving a thin trail of silver web-silk behind them.

ANOTHER meanwhile:

It had been a mostly quiet day for the scouts of Mirkwood. Each of the Elves crouched in their talans waiting for an attack of any kind. Among the 13 scouts were 3 men of noble birth: Prince Legolas, and Lords Elladen and Elrohir of Rivendelle (there for a visit). Each of the elves sat at ready, with each of their senses hyped to the max. Suddenly, every elf there turned their heads to the south of the forest were the party picked up a horrible screech. In a silent understanding each per-no elf swiftly climbed to the foot of the tree, and raced to where they heard the feminine screech, hoping they got to the maiden before the spiders did.

Back to Cici

After I had brushed off all the little buggy things I assessed my surroundings. From what I could tell, it was a very vast creepy forest. All of the trees appeared huge and powerful with dark gray trunks that stretched as far as the eye could see. The floor beneath my feet was a mossy green, with tons of little whitish green flowers survived on the little sunlight that I could see leaking from the canopy. I also noticed that my suitcase was only a couple feet away from me and seemingly untouched. However, the BIGGEST thing I noticed, without a doubt, was I was lost in an unknown forest with no means of getting help. Sighing to myself, I almost went to sit down… that is until' I noticed the rather large furry leg in front of me. Looking up my eyes widened at what I saw. In front of me stood 3 HUUUGE hairy spiders at least 15 feet tall, all complete with large pinchers and millions of gleaming red eyes.

2 words came to my mind as I stared at the monstrous arachnids. "OH SHIT!" I squealed while backing up ever so slowly. Steadily the spiders started to step forward, each with a hungry gleam in their eye. Thinking quickly I yelled out "uh, STOP!" and. …They did?! Each looked at me curiously so thinking up something I cried out "you guys don't want to eat me! I am all bony and crunchy. I'll give you a stomach ache err something!" My pleading however did not work, though the spiders seemed amused. 'Great Christie give them dinner AND a show you RETARD' I scolded myself mentally.

From what you've seen, you can obviously tell I am NOT the smartest cookie in the jar. So using my WONDERFUL makes rainbow motion with hands IMAGINATION (me: lol GOOOOO SPONGEBOB! Deb: NOOOO …GOOO CAKE! Me: wth! Cake, I never said anything about cake! Deb: oh…CRACK! Me: eye twitch mumbles idiots, I'm surrounded by idiots!) I made another plan. This time I ran up to the BIGGEST spider there and gave it a good side-kick to the front leg. Let me tell you, BIG mistake, HUGE! Not only did it just piss the spider off, It hurt my leg! "Fuck man, are you a spider on steroids or SOMETHING!" I yelled at the spider while grabbing my foot in agony.

Looking up I could see that the spider was going to jump at me. However….

CLIFF HANGER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry people, but I just had to.

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