I own nothing of Dragon Age. Just Amilee. ***Edited 4/11/2017***


"Come with me, into the trees, we'll lay in the grass, and let the hours pass, take my hand, come back to the land, let's get away, just for one day..." -Stripped by Shiny Toy Guns


-Two days after Therinfall-

Night was falling as the contingent of the Inquisition stopped to make camp.

As she stepped out into the crisp evening air, Amilee sighed wearily, the strenuous battle with Envy setting in her bones, making her stiff and sore.

Having to hide her power from most of those around her, it was harder for her to maintain a high mana reserve without casting stronger spells. The only magic she'd cast thus far in the presence of those even in the inquisition were barriers and minor force spells to defend her comrades, saving any offensive attacks for her daggers. With having fallen back on her rogue abilities to supplement, she'd come out with more than a few bruises and scratches from close quarters combat, even with the minions Envy had summoned for aid.

Cole had been there as well, fighting back to back with her, watching out for her and her comrades. By the end of the battle, however, the others couldn't recall the young man who had assisted them and he'd disappeared entirely before she could even ask if he would like to come with them. Her chest was still tight from that momentary fear. The fear that she would never see him again.

Why would he have forgotten her? she wondered to herself as she lay sleepless in her tent the first night after they left. For what possible reason would he have done that. Unless... He had cared more about her then than she'd thought he had. Tears sprung to her eyes as the ache in her chest became sharp and she finally let herself weep over the fact she had still lost him, if only the part that knew her.

It wasn't until the wee hours of the morning, as she was drifting in and out of sleep from sorrow, that she felt it. A soft vibration that started at the back of her mind and spread all the way to her fingers and toes. She shuddered from the sensation and sighed with overwhelming relief.

He had followed.

His distant presence remained from then on, through the next day and into the night. Amilee had never felt so torn as she was now over what to do about it.

She had tried not to reveal she was distracted by it. Varric had, at one point, asked her what was on her mind but she told him it was nothing.

Leave it to her old friend to pick up on her mood. Only those she'd become close to could see beyond her mask of indifference. She closed herself off to everyone else, except when it came to completing a mission.

Since the events of Val Royaeux two years prior, Amilee had become a recluse, keeping to herself except when it came to a select few people. Leliana, her spymaster and confidant, as well as the Hawke family, which included Varric, whom she maintained constant contact through letters she wrote. Even as the Guardian of the Inquisition at present, Amilee continued to shut everyone else out. She'd accepted her life was no longer her own. Her new duty to serve and protect the people of Thedas made her to set aside all personal feelings so that she could focus solely on their goal.

But now, with Cole back in her life...

She politely excused herself from the encampment, knowing full well the others would believe she simply wanted time alone.

He was following once again, as he had done in the past. Only this time he was different, more capable of taking care of himself. And while she was glad he had survived all this time, it left her with so many questions she didn't even know where to start.

Where had he been all this time? What had happened to him after she'd 'died'? Was he following now because of her?

Honestly, she wanted that hum to stay, for him to remain with her. But that was a selfish hope, a silly idea only a lovesick girl would dare wish for. More than likely he wanted to join the cause, offer his skills as a rogue and as a spirit.

If she could, she would admit it. She had fallen for that gangly young man, endeared by his vulnerability and his courage, a familiar reflection of what she had been when she herself had first come to Thedas. While it had been chaste, the profound connection she had felt, the peace and security when it had been only the two of them... Romance and passion was one thing, but true love for the soul of another was pure, unadulterated, and immutable... And it resounded within her, even now. She could no more deny the pull of that hum anymore than she could stop breathing.

It had taken almost a weeks time for them to travel from Haven to Therinfall and the return trip would be the same. With winter setting in, it was going to be cold, especially at night. No matter how distraught she felt over the situation, she wasn't going to let Cole follow them alone, without an offer of shelter. But did she dare offer to let him close to her again, knowing full well he was not the same, their past forgotten from his mind?

Her feet knew the answer as they marched her up into the darkened treeline, over a steep hill until she spotted him crouched upon an outcropping of boulders, under a small grove of pines.

His hat lay at his side, his hair a halo of pale blond locks, now longer, the curls he'd had before now falling straight, framing his angular features. Light azure eyes slightly aglow with power from the spirit within watched her with wonder as she came to stand before him. "Sure steps, the warmth follows, tail to star but in reverse..." His brow furrowed with confusion. "You... you found me. How did you do know where I was?"

Shrugging nonchalantly, she replied gently, "I just followed the hum."

Still staring, he tilted his head in question. "What hum?"

Against her nature to keep her secrets close, she elaborated, "When I'm within a certain distance from you, I feel a hum under my skin and in my mind. The closer I get to you, the stronger it becomes. I only feel this when I'm in the presence of a spirit." She didn't elaborate it was from him specifically that she felt this particular sensation.

"Oh," was his only response. Then, "Does it hurt?"

Shaking her head quickly and chuckling, she reassured him, "Hasn't bothered me yet." She brought a hand up to twirl a lock of her hair absently, a discreet sign of her nervousness, as she blurted, "I wanted to thank you for your help with Envy. Had I not had a friend to guide me..."

"You would have fallen, dead and gone. It would have been very sad. And then very bad." He shuddered slightly. "It's good that I helped." Cocking his head, his eyes bored into hers as he asked, "A friend... Is that how you see me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I'm... different." He lowered his head and picked at his hat, rocking his frame a bit. "Strange boy, doesn't move right. Who is that? What is he doing? You're not real! Demon!"

She bristled with instinctual objection as she moved closer and poked him slightly in the shoulder. "That, you are not. "Otherwise, my presence would hurt you, like I hurt Envy."

"It almost does... a slight pull from inside, a lifeline as I tread along the edge of the water," he admitted. "The depths beckon, ready to engulf me, the pull of oblivion, unmending, unmasking, unmaking. But I stay, help instead of hurt, and the warmth instills rather than inflames. It reshapes the bad to create good. Envy was more afraid of you than the Elder One, in that moment... I want it to be spirit."

"That's all up to you, hun," she reasoned with a smile. "No one else decides that for you."

There was a slight pause. "I don't suppose you followed because of me, did you?"

His face went from thoughtful to earnest, his arresting gaze meeting hers again. "You, the Herald, and your friends... You all want to help, to make things right, heal the tear in the sky. It's so loud. You need to stop it. And I want to help"

"What makes you want to?"

"I'm good at killing things, protecting people who need to be, even from themselves. They only see me if I let them. I can hear when they hurt, say what needs to be said, untangle the knot. Then they forget. That helps too."

She smiled, still enchanted by his new way of conversing, and sat on the stone next to him. "So then why are you out here rather than at the camp? I could introduce you to the others, if you like. I'm sure some would be happy to meet you. There's an elf named Solas, he likes spirits too. You might like talking with him."

"The Herald is busy..." he trailed off, averting his gaze shyly.

"Uh huh," she said, leaning into his space to nudge him lightly and quirking her nose to the side in amusement. "Or maybe you're afraid she'll turn you away?"

Chuckling softly at her insight, he agreed, "Yes, that too. You understand."

She leaned away again. "I try my best, hun."

His face conveyed frank innocence as he asked outright, "What is a hun? You call me that, but I didn't have time to ask why."

Amilee adjusted her cloak around her, facing away so he couldn't see her wistful smile. "It's a term of endearment, something to call someone you like other than their name, so they know they're special to you. Like a friend or family member. Hun is short for honey. Honey is sweet and I think you are too. Therefore, I call you hun. Strange logic, I know, but it fits."

"You think I am special? Some people say that about me but I don't think they mean it in a nice way..."

"Well then they are assholes and you should ignore them," she quipped with a sniff.

She stood and brushed off her backside, attempting to ignore the sad fact it hadn't been the first time she'd explained it to him. The first had been the second night she'd laid over him, sharing the warmth of her wolf's body, his hand on her rune so he could listen as he slowly drifted off to sleep. Her heart ached with the memory.

"If you don't like the nickname, I can stop."

"I..." he took a moment to think about it. "I don't have one for you."

She snickered then, lighthearted. "That's alright, I don't need one. I've too many other nicknames as it is." She looked up to the sky, the stars glinting at them through the trees. "It's dark now, I should head back and turn in. Maybe you'd like to come with me? If the others won't see you unless you want them to, you won't have to worry about meeting them until you're ready. And it's better than being out here in the dark by yourself."

He looked up at her with surprise, unused to such open kindness. "You care enough to make ease for others, even if they are strangers." He crossed his arms, and cocked his head to the side again, eyes narrowed in scrutiny. "You don't hear like I do. Are you sure to be so sure?"

Her lips curved up in a wry smirk at his almost devilish remark, knowing he wasn't referring to himself. "You did see what I did to Envy, right? Who in their right mind would try to take advantage of me?" She stepped away, indicating ahead of her. "My tent isn't very large, but it's warm inside and I have enough room on the bedroll for you to sleep too. Or you can wander about the camp, your choice."

"Thank you," he said again with a soft smile, before sobering. "But I don't sleep. I thought I had to before, but the Fade pulls me." Standing at her side, she felt small in comparison, despite his lean frame. His head bowed as he fiddled with his hand wrappings. "No notice, no sound if a hurt calls me."

She shrugged. "Fair enough, hun. Follow me then."


Amilee hadn't slept so soundly in over two years. Cole had stayed in the tent most of the night, perusing to inspect her simple belongings and listening to the others outside. Her body reveled in his presence, contented to slip away into sleep. The nightmares she always had from the Blight and Adamant were blessedly calmed.

It took Cassandra barking and kicking at her feet for her to wake and when she did so, she smiled as she sat up and stretched.

Cole sat unseen by the Seeker in the corner, watching.

"Maker's breath, Amilee. You were sleeping like the dead. You aren't falling ill, are you?" Cassandra demanded warily, narrowing her eyes in scrutiny.

"Nah. Just a really good dream," she said. "Sorry, Cass, I'll be out in a second."

"Alright," was the clip reply, the dark haired warrior pursing her lips. "And stop calling me that."

As the Seeker left the tent, Amilee hopped out of her bedroll and slipped on her shoes and cloak. When she pulled up her hair into it's bun, Cole spoke.

"She likes it when you call her that. Distant as the horizon, a door closed against Faith. Succor for a comrade, but no warmth as a friend. You are kind to her but will not make time unless it's necessary..." HIs head titled from one side to another, eyes hidden by the hat. "They all wonder why you shut them out... How can I help your hurt if I can't hear it?" he queried with mild distress.

Unwilling to deny she had any, she responded hesitantly, "You can just ask me, hun. But my hurts... They stem from many things. It would take longer than I have right now to explain them all. I can tell you some later if you like, but in the meantime, I'll be alright."

He nodded and after a moment, began reciting a nearby soldier's thoughts. "Spatter of red on my armor, glistening, gleaming, so many, too many to fight, I didn't see her before I swung. Her body falls like the shelf I knocked over in the great hall at the marquee's summer home, armor bulky and banging, too clumsy to be this. I should stop, leave before I do it again."

Amilee listened calmly as she packed up her things and he stepped out.

Now that she accepted his new personality, she began to wonder what sort of spirit he was, that would grant solace to someone who was in pain. Thinking back to when she'd been in the Fade with Justice, she recalled his list of commonly known spirits: Justice, of course, and the wisps that were her main encounters. Valor, Wisdom, Fortitude, Faith, Love, Compassion... Compassion.

That would make sense. His empathy would align most with that emotion. But what had triggered the change, from a lost boy that thought he had to kill to keep himself real, to a vagrant spirit who could hear people hurting and ease that pain?

With Wynne and Anders, she could tell they were human, simply possessed. Justice had been a distant buzz in her head, creating a need to move, to do something more. Faith had been a slight cooling sensation, like a wind across a pond. It cleared her head, helped her see beyond her doubts.

With Cole though, she couldn't discern where the young man ended and the spirit began. She hadn't even thought of him as more than just Cole before, but now that she thought about it, the hum was stronger and more effecting of her being than any spirit she'd ever met.

Was he simply the spirit then? Had he always been a spirit and the boy a facade? She wanted to ask him, to find out what had happened after Adamant, but she was afraid of scaring him off.

So she would have to settle for not knowing. For now.


Three Days Later

When Herah and Amilee had first woken in Haven, they had both been declared prisoners, accused of causing the explosion at the Conclave and killing everyone that had attended.

With the severity of the charges, even Leliana's ties with the infamous Hawk weren't enough to keep her out of chains.

Cassandra had interrogated them and taken both out to bear witness to the Breach. Herah had been startled and upset but Amilee was terrified. The thought of demons roaming freely in Thedas struck terror inside her, fearing the inevitable confrontations with these Fade dwellers would test her control over her unique power.

They'd journeyed to a tear in the Fade, otherwise called a rift, to fight off a demonic horde, Amilee keeping away from the fray so she would not reveal her strange ability as Herah showed off her prowess with a very large wooden club. After Herah had successfully closed her first rift, Amilee had a tearful reunion with Varric and a pleasant introduction to Solas, an apostate elf who had great knowledge of the inner workings of the Fade and it's inhabitants.

Once the battle at the Temple of Sacred Ashes was done, Herah having cosed the rift with her mark and Amilee having prevented any loss of life with her deflecting barriers, they seemed much less of a threat to everyone. In fact, the two of them had gained new titles for themselves: The Herald of Andraste and the Guardian of Haven.

It was after they debriefed in the war room that Cassandra declared the Inquisition reborn, their directive to investigate the origin of the explosion and ultimately close the Breach. Excitement and dread warred within Amilee when she realized she was walking down yet another adventurous path.

"Might I have a word, Amilee?"

Startled out of her daydream, the smaller mage looked up from the snow the group was wading through on horseback to find Solas had come up alongside her. The elf carried an air of wisdom, almost arrogant in his assurance of value. He could be considered handsome with with his strong jawline and regal air about him but Amilee wasn't young or naive enough to believe this was all he was. Something told her he carried more secrets than he let on.

To his request, she replied, "Of course."

They slowed their horses considerably, allowing the others to pull ahead. Once they were out of earshot, the elf explained, "I wanted you to know, I have met an acquaintance of yours."

Quick to smile, she confirmed, "Cole."

He returned her expression with one of pleasant surprise, unused to seeing her mood so quick to brighten. "Yes. He told me of how you two met. You are very lucky, do you know that?"

"Sometimes I'm not so sure," she responded, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. "Why do you say so?"

"To overcome a demon such as Envy, one must have great willpower. I regret that I've neglected to take the time to speak with you beyond necessity. But with what Cole has told me, you seem to have the unique ability to absorb demonic energy, using it to create magic in turn. If I may ask, how did you come to acquire this gift?"

"It's not really a gift..." she grumbled, shifting in her saddle nervously. Wrestling a moment with her need to keep things private, she decided to acquiesce. "A magister had kept me captive for a time, long ago. He had me taught Tevene in an attempt to extract 'secrets' I may have held. There weren't any secrets to be learned of course, I was just a girl pulled into the wrong place at the wrong time. But when he couldn't get anything out of me, he attempted to perform a binding ritual to force my servitude. It... backfired and the ritual took on a form all it's own. The demon he'd summoned for assistance disappeared, transferring mana and a spell burst from within me. Suffice it to say, the magister did not live to regret his decision." Adjusting her collar, she continued, "There was a keeper of a clan camped on Sundermount a few years back named Marethari. She had a word for it. Rulecar something or other."

"Rulen cairn," the elf corrected gently. "I had not thought I'd meet someone able to survive the condition, let alone have it in the first place. Any details and instructions for ritual have been lost ages ago. You are indeed quite lucky."

He proceeded to ask her many more questions, having momentarily forgotten his original purpose in starting the conversation. By the time his curiosity over her power was sated, the first few years of her history in Tevinter and Kirkwall were revealed, minus her intimate past with Anders. In the time that had passed during the conversation, the group had finally reached the outskirts of Haven.

"So back to the subject of Cole, are you certain of what he is?"

"I believe he is... in between. A spirit who has become human, at least in body. He isn't a demon, though I'm starting to think he had been at one point. But I will make sure the others understand if they accuse him as such."

He chuckled. "Yes, you, of all people would know if he was. I wonder if you can identify what sort of spirit he is."

"If I could venture a guess? I would say Compassion. He's not very stoic, as I'd imagine Justice or Fortitude to be. Faith and Valor, I think, would be more confident. If he was Love, I'd think he'd be more concerned with tending to and creating relationships, not focused on healing a person's pain. He's... more subtle and shy. Maybe it's a more specific, rarer emotion, I'm not sure."

Seemingly impressed by her answer, Solas nodded. "Your assumption is correct, although Compassion itself is a rare spirit. It is fascinating, that one of his temperament could find the will to manifest a body, especially that of a young man. It will be interesting to see in what ways he will help the Inquisition."

Amilee simply nodded her agreement, burnt out from talking and unable to continue the conversation without revealing her past with Cole. As they entered the gates to Haven, she bid the elf a polite goodnight and headed for the war room to discuss their journey, before turning in.


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