BWA HA HA HA! I am so evil to Edward. I'm terribly sorry Edward!


"That was so hilarious!"

I glared at Emmett; it was he who put me through this torture. It was all his idea. He had come up with this diabolical plan and persuaded the others to help me.

Jasper was next to him. His shoulders were shaking in laughter. Suddenly everything felt really funny and giddy. I almost started to laugh until I realized that it was Jasper's power that influencing me to do so. I immediately twisted my face into a scowl.

Alice's giggles sounded like wind chimes as she gasped, "Edward-I-never. (Huge burst of laughter). Knew-you-screamed-like-a-girl!"

I growled at them. How cruel my family was! How evil they were!

"That wasn't funny…" I said through my clenched teeth. I glared at my family, hoping they would stop laughing. They didn't, instead they laughed even louder.

Rosalie finally calmed down enough to talk. "Come on Edward. It was funny! You were screaming when she just wanted to ask you something!"

Alice joined in. "Did you see her face when he started to scream? She was horrified!"

They each squealed with laughter over and over again while Jasper and Emmett were on their back laughing.

If I could blush I would be beet red.

Well…maybe I did overreact a little. But how was I supposed to know? Her thoughts were so nauseating that I guess I misinterpreted them. How was I supposed to know she was just asking me if I wanted to go hunting with her when her thoughts were the complete opposite?!

Besides, I bet she was going to sexually harass me if Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie weren't watching like a pack of wolves. Her mind said it all. She really wanted to rape me in front of everyone, except somehow she kept her actions in control. I shuddered again. Tanya's mental images burned. My mind will never again be clean again.

I stiffly walked out of the room; my hands were in tight fists. I wanted to punch someone. I hoped that Esme and Carlisle would understand my longing to rip out Emmett's throat. How does he come up with things like this?

I was outside now. I felt strangely relaxed all of the sudden. Maybe it was because I was going to kill Emmett today, or perhaps the strain of the embarrassing incident was gone. Whatever it was, I was glad. I was glad that I finally had some peace, until I saw disturbing pictures of me.

I whipped my head at the source of the grueling pictures. It was Kate, the red head. I tried to close my mind, but the thoughts were so loud! I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts that were shouting down at me. So much for peace.

Well, I guess he turned down Tanya. Maybe he would prefer a redhead?

I turned my head at the thought, Kate was closer to me now, probably only a few feet. I groaned. Just what I needed… I wondered where my other stalker went…

"Hey Edward…" Crap. I thought too soon.

I turned my head hesitantly to the other side, and there was Irina. She tossed her hair in the wind, trying to impress me, I guess, when really I thought she looked kind of stupid.

Crap! There's Irina! She's trying to steal Edward away from me! Kate was growling inside her head. I quickly got out of the way, sensing something was going to happen.

I was right. At that moment Kate pounced on Irina, snarling like a feral animal. Irina pushed Kate back and punched her in the stomach. I almost imagined that they would start to grow cat claws. It was a cat fight…over me.

The sight of these two fighting over me was really funny, in fact so funny that it was prudent that I laugh. I'm hardly some lottery prize, and I don't know where they got the idea that I showed any preference for them.

I walked away again still laughing. Life was funny, or rather, existence was funny.

But not for long… Two words, evil Alice.