It didn't last, unfortunately. Mid-November, Dean slid downhill healthwise. The exhaustion and fatigue hit him hard, and even though he tried to be cheerful, Cas could tell it wasn't easy. The doctors had told him it would be like this - good days, decent days, ok days, bad days, worse days.
Dean had been diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis. What it boiled down to was days, sometimes weeks, with no problems, no symptoms at all. Dean would feel great. He'd get some painting done, help Cas in the garden, swim in the pool, help with meal prep. He smiled easily, cracked jokes, and acted like his old self. When Sam came for a visit in September, he and Dean took the Impala down to the city for lunch. Dean drove both ways, and in general, felt great.
Sometime around Halloween, the change had begun. He started having trouble sleeping. Then the tremors came back, and the clumsiness, which of course brought a fresh wave of depression with it. The depression got worse after two failed attempts at sex.
Cas watched him struggle, at times feeling completely helpless. He did everything he could to keep Dean comfortable, to keep his spirits up, and Dean, bless him, did his best to not let his depression take over. He was trying so hard, and Cas loved him for it.
The last several days had been bad. Dean had a migraine that wasn't going away, and he'd barely gotten out of bed, despite the fact that sleep wasn't happening. Keeping him fed and hydrated wasn't easy; nausea from the headache caused a loss of appetite.
The weather had turned cooler. Cas had the pool winterized, and the bees tended to stay closer to the hives. Dean's mood seemed to be turning with the weather, his spirits sinking with the sun on the shorter days. Thanksgiving was coming, and their house would be full of family. Sam and Gabe would be there, with Cas's father, Anna and Michael, Charlie and Dorothy, and of course, the girls, David, and Elena. But now, Cas was wondering if Dean was going to be up to it. He wondered if he needed to make other plans.
"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked groggily.
"Uh, nothing."
"Liar."
He felt Dean shiver. "Are you cold?"
"What? No. M'fine."
"Now who's the liar?" Cas muttered, pulling his body off the couch. He threw an extra log on the fire and pulled another blanket off the chair and wrapped a protesting Dean in it. "There."
"Wasn't that cold."
"I don't know why you insist on suffering."
"It's not that. I j-just - I d-don't want you to, to," Dean stumbled. "Want you to rest." He sighed. "Hate when it makes me talk funny."
"I know." Cas settled back into the couch, tugging Dean closer. He stroked his hand through Dean's hair. "You're having a rough week. I'm happy to take care of you."
"W-who's taking care of you?"
"I'm fine."
"Sure."
They sat quietly, watching flames dance in the fireplace. As much as he knew Dean missed the firehouse, Cas loved this house so much more. He loved having everything on one floor, no stairs whatsoever to aggravate his old knees. He loved how modern and energy efficient it was. Loved the expansive property and the lack of close neighbors. He loved how quiet it was at night.
And moments like this? Curled on the couch with a fire roaring in the fireplace, surrounded by their keepsakes and family photos? It didn't get any better as far as he was concerned.
Dean snored softly next to him, asleep on his shoulder. Cas wondered if he had any clue, even after all these long years, how much he loved him. He wondered if Dean knew that taking care of him was a blessing. They'd come so close to not having this. To not having each other.
He didn't care if Dean was sick. It didn't change a damn thing.
Castiel still loved Dean more than anyone in his world.
Two days before Thanksgiving, Dean collapsed in the kitchen and hit his head on the counter hard enough to knock him out.
Cas paced the ER waiting room at Upper Chesapeake Hospital, waiting for news. He felt sick, terrified. Somewhere back there, Tiana was trying to find out what was going on. Doctor Novak-Winchester wouldn't take no for an answer and bullied her way into the ER with her sass and her Hopkins ID and demanded professional courtesy.
Mei sat nearby, paging through an old magazine. She looked up and tracked Cas's movements across the floor. "Papa, calm down."
"I am calm."
"That's why you're wearing a path in the linoleum. C'mon, sit down. Your knees will be pissed if you don't."
Well, she was right about that. Cas dropped into an empty chair. "I'm worried sick."
"No kidding. Me, too."
Tiana pushed through the door. "Ok," she announced, walking to where they were sitting. "He's going to be alright. No concussion, but he has a really bad bladder infection. It's so bad, it worked it's way up to his kidneys."
"Shit."
"Papa, it's not your fault. He's been having trouble and didn't tell you because he didn't want you to worry. Typical Dad bullshit. Anyway, they're slamming him with antibiotics and fluids, he's got a cath in, and they're going to move him upstairs. Daddy bought himself three days of observation, and I haven't even gotten to him yet, but when I do...ooh, he's gonna get it." She illustrated her point with a shaking fist.
"But he's ok?"
"He will be. I'm trying to get them to let you back there. I don't understand why they didn't let you stay with him to begin with and why it took them four hours to get their act together."
Cas ran a hair through his hair. "I don't know whether to hug him or smack him."
"I advocate both, Pops," Mei grinned. "Tia, do we have to time to get Papa something to eat?"
"Yup."
"I'm not hungry."
"Nope," Mei said, standing and dragging him from the chair, "you're gonna eat whether you like it or not. Who's taking care of you, huh?"
"I guess you are," Cas smiled, as both girls took an arm.
"Damn right," Tiana grinned.
"Sound just like your father."
Dean couldn't look at Cas. He stared down at the blanket. Looked at his old, wrinkled hands. Gazed out the window.
"Dean."
"I know," he muttered.
"Do you? Why didn't you tell me?"
"Was 'mbarrassed," Dean muttered.
"These are things I need to know. You could have done significant damage to your kidneys. Irreversible damage. You could have died. The infection could have caused renal failure and - you could have died, Dean."
"Cas -"
"No, I get it. It's embarrassing to talk about bladder function, fine. Then call the damn doctor. But you can't ignore it, you can't pretend it's going to go away on it's own. Don't you get it? Your whole life has changed. It's different now, and any type of blip in your physical well being is news!"
Casting his eyes back down, Dean picked at a cuticle on his thumb. The sting of hot tears prickled underneath his lids and he slammed his eyes shut, determined not to cry. He was damn sick of crying.
Cas sighed and plopped into a chair. "I'm sorry," he muttered. "You just - you have a bad habit of scaring the shit out of me."
Dean choked on his reply.
"Are you ok?"
He shook his head vigorously, still refusing to meet Cas's eyes.
"Dean -"
"Hola, bitches!" Charlie Bradbury shoved her way into the room, a bunch of garish balloons announcing her arrival. Her still long hair, liberally streaked with grey amongst the red strands, was pulled back into a loose bun. "So I hear someone thought spending Thanksgiving in the hospital would get him out of Turkey Day dish duty, huh?" She released the balloons and dropped a hand to her hip. "Not cool, Young Skywalker."
"Like to take this moment to remind you, yet again, that I am older than you," Dean said, grateful for the distraction of her arrival.
"So? I can Young Skywalker you anytime I want, handmaiden." Charlie grinned over at Cas, "did the nurses threaten to throw him out for being an asshole yet?"
"Hey -"
"I'm sure it's coming any moment," Cas grinned back.
"Saw Tia and Mei in the hall. They're heading to the airport to pick up Sam and Gabe."
"Oh, shit," Dean groaned. "I forgot they were coming. Sam's going to give me so much shit."
"As well he should. Charlie, I'm going to go get a cup of tea if you don't mind. Can I bring you anything?"
"Nah, I'm good."
"I'll take a slice of pi-"
"Nothing. A slice of nothing. I'm mad at you." Cas stomped out of the room without another word.
"Oh, buddy," Charlie murmured, perching on the edge of his bed. "You done it this time."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Bladder infection, huh?"
Dean felt his face heat. "Charlie, can we not? Gross."
"Please. Nothing gross about bodily functions. Part of life, pal."
"Still -"
"How long?"
"What?"
"How long have you been having issues with it? And were you planning on telling Cas at all? Because that's what everyone's upset about. I know you. You think people are grossed out because it's about your bladder and all that, but that's not the issue. They're upset because you didn't tell anyone. You and your whole suffer in silence bullshit."
"Yeah, well, it's embarrassing when you can't fucking pee on your own, ok? I thought it would pass. I thought I'd be fine!"
"See how that worked out for you?"
Crossing his arms over his chest, Dean huffed and looked away from her. At least the urge to cry had passed into something more angry.
"Dean, c'mon. If I can't say this shit to you-"
"Yeah, and then I'll get it from Sam, from Gabe, from my own fucking daughter. Let's all straighten Dean out!" he spouted bitterly.
"It's not like that."
"No? Then tell me what the fuck it's like, Charlie."
Sighing she reached for his hand, gently unfolding his arms. He let her do it. "It's like this. We're all worried sick about you. You have a very bad habit of not taking care of yourself. And right now? We're all scared. I doubt you've seen your face, but you've got a bruise the size of an MTA bus on your forehead from where you hit the counter. You're not a young dude anymore. A fall like that can do serious damage. Not to mention," and her voice took on a slightly harder tone, "you're killing Cas."
"Cas is fine."
"Shit, you're not really that obtuse, are you? He's not fine. He's not sleeping. I can tell by the circles under his eyes, not to mention he's obviously lost weight. I'm starting to wonder if this is how it's going to be every time you have a flare."
"What do you mean?" Dean asked quietly.
"Last time you had a bad flare, you shut him out and he got pretty badly depressed. I think it was Sam that go through to you that time. Guess it's my turn, huh? So Dean, Cas is badly depressed. And it's kinda your fault."
"Of course it is,"he muttered.
"It really is. You get depressed and you take him down with you."
"Is this supposed to make me feel better?"
"Nope. Just trying to get through your thick skull." She traced the lines on his hand with her fingers. "You know how much we love you. And that's what this is. We love you, and we're worried about you, about both of you, really. You and Cas - you have a good thing. Don't obliterate it in a moment of pique."
Dean startled. "You think he'd leave me?"
"No, no, that would never happen - I just - I don't want you to get him so worked up he has a stroke or a heart attack or something. You're both in your super early sixties. Still got a hella lot of living left to do. So do it? Ok?"
"Feel like such an idiot -"
"That's 'cause you kinda are."
Dean chuckled. Charlie wiggled around until she was laying beside Dean. She wove their fingers together with her head on his shoulder.
"Seriously, I don't know why - w-why," a solid lump formed in his throat and he couldn't get the words out. "I don't - Ch-charlie," he stumbled.
"I know. Sweetie, I know."
He sniffled, soaking up the comfort she was offering. She wiggled them around, switched positions so that Dean was laying on Charlie's shoulder, while she soothingly ran her fingers through his hair. He gave up on fighting the tears and let them come. Charlie hummed a tuneless melody as she continued stroking his head.
His eyelids grew heavy and he let them close, let sleep overtake him.
"Eat."
"I'm not hungry."
"Eat it, dammit."
"Buzz off."
"Nope. Not going anywhere until you eat. It's Thanksgiving. Eat."
Cas shoved his loaded plate back across the table and Gabe just barely caught it.
"I'm getting dressed and going to the hospital. I owe Dean a piece of pie." Cas pulled a plate out and slapped a generous portion of pumpkin pie onto it. He added an equally large piece of apple and wrapped the whole thing in foil.
"Cas -"
"Leave me alone."
"So that's how it is? Someone tells you something you don't want to hear and -"
"SHUT UP, GABE!" Cas roared, slamming the plate onto the counter, feeling it crack beneath his hands. "Ah, shit," he muttered, pulling the foil off. Dean's slices were smashed and the plate had cracked right up the middle.
"Ready to calm down now? How much have you slept in the last two days?"
"Not enough," Cas admitted. "I'm sorry, Gabe."
"No skin off my nose. Just worried 'bout you, bro." He squeezed Cas's shoulder. "Can't really take care of Dean if you're not taking care of yourself."
"If Dean would actually allow me to take care of him," Cas shot back.
"So he's stubborn. Be stubborner."
"Stubboner? Is that a word?" Cas couldn't help but crack a grin.
"It's a word in my world and I'm rich as fuck and do what I want."
Cas chuckled. "So modest, too."
"Always." Gabe reached for another plate. "C'mon, I'll make a plate for Dean. Sit down and eat. Please?"
"Alright." Cas sat at the table and pulled his plate closer. "Doesn't make sense to not to eat the food I cooked."
"Exactly," Gabe agreed, as he moved about preparing a plate for Dean.
"Ok, I've got the stuff he asked for. When are we going?" Sam set an overnight bag down on the table. "Hey, Cas, you're eating. That's great!"
"As soon as he's done, we'll go."
Sam nodded as he crossed the room. He wrapped one of his big arms around Gabe, tipping his head up for a kiss.
Cas chuckled as the kiss got a little heated. "Right here, guys," he reminded them.
Pulling his head away, Sam blushed. "Ah, sorry Cas. All these years later. Man, it just doesn't get old." He slapped Gabe's ass affectionately. "I'm gonna go finish getting ready." He smiled and ducked out of the room.
"Gross," Cas said cheerfully.
"Like you're any better, asshole."
Presenting his clean plate, Cas smiled. "I know. We're just as bad. Can I go see him now?"
"Daddy, you're gonna give Papa a heart attack."
"You're like the third person to tell me that this week."
Tiana stared over the top of her glasses. "But with me, it's a professional opinion, understand?"
"Yes, Doctor," Dean muttered.
"We're worried about both of you," David chimed in. "I wish you'd let us hire someone to come in during the week. Not a nurse," David clarified, holding his hands up in surrender, "like a housekeeper. Someone to cook and do some cleaning, so that Pops isn't doing everything on his own."
"Yeah, I get it. I'm a burden."
"Dammit, Daddy. That's not it at all."
"Mei's right. No one thinks you're a burden, but we do think you and Cas need a little help," Elena added. "And we're all willing to go in together and split the bill for someone to come in four to five days a week to cook, do laundry, clean, stuff like that. It's not charity, it's all of us wanting to help. Since we're not always available to come help."
Dean's eyes stung with tears. "Makes me feel so damn useless," he muttered.
He was met by a chorus of groans.
"Dad, you need a new catch phrase," Mei said irritably.
"Like an intervention or something."
"Why is it that it always has to come to that? Why do you always do this?" David crossed his arms over his chest. "You're not a burden. We're all damn tired of hearing you say you are. Enough, Dad."
"Yeah, well, Cas won't agree to the housekeeper thing."
"He already did." Tiana pulled a sheet of paper out of her bag. "These are the people we've narrowed it down to. We've starred the ones we like."
"Might as well give up," Mei giggled. She was sitting on Dean's bed, crosslegged. She'd given him a manicure and was now contently painting little turkeys and pumpkins on his nails.
"Hello, everyone!" Cas called, pushing open the door. "I come bearing gifts." He set a bag on Dean's tray, leaning over Mei's head to kiss Dean. "Lovely nails," he smiled.
"She's very talented, our daughter," Dean smiled, watching Mei's careful brush strokes. "Tell me you brought pie."
"I did. Brought something else, too."
Dean looked up. "Sammy!"
"Hey!"
The room dissolved into controlled chaos for a moment, as hugs were given and positions shifted. David and Elena left to spend the rest of the evening with Elena's family in Carroll County and Sam settled his overgrown ass on the end of Dean's bed. Gabe and Tiana busted out Uno cards and rolled Dean's table around so they could play the game, which quickly devolved into a cutthroat showdown between Sam and Dean.
"Draw four, bro!" Sam crowed triumphantly, slapping his card down on the pile. Dean grumbled and added four more cards to his already full hand. He set his cards down for a moment and shoved another large chunk of pie into his mouth.
"Ooo suck," he mumbled around the chunks of apple.
"Only 'cause I'm winning and you hate when I win."
"Won't last. Don't get cocky."
Cas smiled as he laid a reverse card on the pile. "There. Have your revenge, dear."
Dean shuffled through his hand. "Oh, man. I don't have any good cards!"
Exploding into laughter, Sam slapped Dean on the back. "Haha, told you I was winning!"
"Children," Gabe said warningly.
"Children is right." Mei slapped a draw four on the table. "Four for you, Tiana," she grinned.
"Ugh!" Brown eyes found his across the table. "Little sisters!"
"I feel ya, Tia," Dean grinned.
Later, things had calmed down and it was just Dean and Cas in the room. Cas had elected to stay, bringing the car with him so he could take Dean home in the morning.
"So the catheter is apparently a thing now. At least, it's a thing when everything stops working."
"Yes. You're going to have to carefully monitor your output so you don't get like this again." Cas's gentle fingers traced the bruise Dean knew was on the center of his forehead. "I hate being terrified like that."
"I'm sorry," Dean breathed, shifting until he was snuggled into Cas's side. "I didn't mean to scare you."
"I guess I should be used to it. You've made a lifetime out of pretending things are fine when they aren't. I need you to stop doing that right now. I need you to tell me when things are wrong. I need to know when you don't feel good. I need to know these things."
"Ok," Dean said meekly. "I'm gonna try to -"
"No. Not to sound like Yoda, but there is no try. You need to do. You need to say, hey, Cas, I can't pee. Hey, Cas, I'm nauseous. I need to know when things aren't right so we can fix it." The first tear slipped out unbidden. Dean pressed his face closer to Cas's neck. "Oh, Dean. Don't cry. It's ok."
That only served to make him cry harder.
"Dean, baby, come on. It's ok, come on." Cas wrapped his arms tightly around him, pulling him closer and stroking a soothing hand down his back. "I wish you'd stop this. I know it's upsetting but acting like the whole world is coming down around you doesn't help."
"It's not even that. I just don't understand why - w-why this had to ha-happen to me. W-why me? Haven't I been - haven't I b-been through enough?"
"I know it seems that -"
"It doesn't seem! It is! Since 2001, my life has been fucked up! I got like t-twenty y-years of decent health. N-now this. Can't e-even t-talk right anymore." He shuddered, exhausted by his outburst.
"It will get better. A week from now, you might be in the remission stage."
"Yeah, and then it's a relapse. Remit, relapse. I heard the doctor, too. This is the rest of my goddamn life."
"So is this how you plan to spend it then? Instead of making the most of the time we do have? When the good days come, do you plan to stay in bed and be angry at the world? You're accusing the disease of taking your life away but it sounds to me like you're willing to give it away."
"It's not like that," Dean mumbled, ashamed.
"Then what is it like? Because I'm pretty sure I'm mishearing you."
"I don't want to give up. I don't."
"You're depressed. You have a therapist you refuse to see. She can't help you if you don't go."
Dean didn't say anything else. He knew Cas was right. He knew it.
"I think we should both be in therapy, to be honest."
"Really? 'Cause you seem fine."
"I'm not fine. I'm falling apart, but like you, I hide it. Because I don't want you to see it. Because you'll do that guilty thing you do, like it's your fault."
"Is my fault."
"No. It's not."
Dean squirmed and rolled away from Cas on the hospital bed. He pulled the sheet up over his head. "It's my fault. I stress you out and I make everything terrible and now you're having problems that you wouldn't be having if it wasn't for me. It's my fault."
"Baby, I don't know what else to say to convince you it isn't." Cas rubbed the back of Dean's neck, and Dean melted into his touch. "It's extenuating circumstances. It's outside elements that make dealing with this that much harder. But it's not you. And it's not your fault. I promise you that."
More tears dripped down Dean's nose and onto the sheets. He had nothing left to say. Cas rubbed his neck, eventually replacing his fingers with his lips. Eventually, Cas drifted off behind him, snuggled up against Dean's back.
It was a long time before Dean found sleep.
Things plateaued for them after Dean's hospital stay. As Cas had predicted, Dean went into a remission state. The fatigue still bothered him, but the tremors weren't as pronounced. Christmas was uneventful in the best way possible, and made easier by the arrival of Janne, their new housekeeper. She was younger than both of them, but had designated herself their new mother, and it took exactly a week for Cas to look around and wonder how they'd ever survived without her.
Dean's good health continued, so in January, they decided to make their planned trip to Paris for their thirtieth wedding anniversary.
Mei and Tiana fell in love with the city and disappeared together most afternoons, while Cas and Dean went to the Louvre and retraced the steps they'd taken so many years before. After a few days of walking and sightseeing, Dean grudgingly admitted that he needed to use the wheelchair. Cas covered him with a blanket and took him out on the town anyway. After all, they hadn't been to the Eiffel Tower yet. As evening fell, they found a quiet bench in view of the tower.
"I will never forget what it felt like, to come around that corner, hear the music, then realize it was you singing. I think my heart stopped for a moment." Cas smiled and took Dean's hand. "What was it like for you?"
"I focused on the music so I wouldn't lose my shit. I was terrified you were gonna bail the minute you saw me." Dean squeezed Cas's hand. "Glad I went through with it."
"I can't believe it's been thirty years."
Dean nodded.
They sat quietly, watching people walk by.
"Never traveled so far, never traveled so far, to get back where you are," Dean sang softly, his voice gruff with age. "All this time, we were waiting for each other. All this time, I was waiting for you. Got all this love, can't waste it on another, so I'm straight in a straight line, running back to you."
Cas's heart swelled, warmth tingling through him despite the January cold.
"Straight in a straight line, running back to you. Straight in a straight line, running back," he lifted Cas's hand and kissed it, "to you."
"Oh, Dean," Cas whispered. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. These past thirty years - a gift, Cas. A goddamn gift," Dean's voice broke. "Every time I stop and think about how close we came to not having this - I've never taken a day, a minute, one second for granted. Not one second." Dean's voice was thick with emotion as he pressed his lips to Cas's hand once more. "Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for my second, hell, my third, fourth, and fifth chances."
"It wasn't that dramatic," Cas smiled. "Thank you for letting me back in." He pulled Dean closer and kissed him. They were completely lost in each other when a camera flashed.
Blinking, Cas stared up at their giggling daughters.
"Ugh, old guys kissing, gross," Mei pulled a face, but there was joy in her eyes.
"This whole big city and you manage to stumble onto us?"
"Daddy! It's the Eiffel Tower. Not our fault you were here when we just happened to come see it."
"Yeah, right. You two are up to something."
"No idea what you're talking about."
Somewhere near the base of the tower, music swelled. The tune was familiar. The words that were being sung even more so.
Tiana's eyes were bright. "Take Daddy's hand, Papa," she smiled, moving behind Dean to push the wheelchair. She pushed Dean away from the bench, closer to the main lawn of the tower.
A pretty dark haired lady in a red dress was singing, while others behind her played the piano and violins.
As Cas gripped Dean's hand, familiar faces swum into view. Sam and Gabe were there, beaming like the idiots they were.
"This is their doing, I assume?" Cas asked.
"All of our doing," Mei confirmed. She'd slipped over to Cas's other side and taken his arm.
David and Elena joined them, hands clasped, as they walked beside Dean. "Happy Anniversary, Dad and Pops. You guys deserve this," David said with a pat to Dean's shoulder.
Sparing a glance at Dean, Cas wasn't surprised to see tears streaming down his face. After all, he was in the same shape.
"I don't know what day it is, I had to check the paper. I don't know the city but it isn't home. You say I'm lucky to love something that loves me, but I'm torn as I could be wherever I roam."
Cas smiled down at Dean. Dean smiled back. Then he kicked the footpads of his wheelchair out of the way, struggling to his feet with David's help.
"Dance with me," he smiled, holding his hand out to Cas.
"Are you sure? Can you handle this?"
"Damn straight or die trying."
Cas grinned and let Dean pull him into the shelter of his arms.
"All this time we were waiting for each other. All this time I was waiting for you. Got all these words, can't waste them on another. So I'm straight in a straight line running back to you."
They swayed in each other's arms, in time with the music. Cas felt like he was floating. Surrounded by their children and their beloved brothers in the city where it all finally came back together, Cas didn't think he could be happier than he was in that moment. Looking into Dean's shining eyes, it was clear he felt the same.
After dinner with their children and brothers, Dean had reached his fun limit. He was tired and achey, and more than ready to go back to the hotel. They left everyone to enjoy a fourth bottle of wine, and Dean allowed Cas to roll him up to their room.
"Thirty years," Dean sighed as they rode the elevator up to their floor. "Blink of an eye, if you ask me."
"Indeed. That was a lovely surprise, wasn't it? And dinner afterwards? I had a wonderful time."
"Yup. I'm glad I was feeling well enough to enjoy it."
"Me, too."
"Would you be interested in taking a bath? We have such a big tub in our room."
"Honestly? I'd love too, but I don't know if I'd be able to get in and out safely."
"Do you trust me to help you?"
"Well, yeah."
"Ok then."
Dean chuckled as Cas wheeled him down the hall and into their room. Once inside, he started the water in the tub and came back to help Dean undress.
"You sure about this? I'm not that light anymore," Dean added, patting his slightly chubby midsection.
"I'm sure. I'm strong enough. No worries," he said, kneeling to undo Dean's shoes.
"I like when you undress me. That's hot, Cas."
Chuckling, he reached for Dean's belt, undid the buckle and pulled it from his jeans. "I like undressing you."
Cas was strong enough, Dean discovered. He felt plenty secure as Cas moved him from the chair and into the warm water, which felt like Heaven on his aching muscles. Cas climbed in behind him and he settled back against Cas's chest and sighed.
"Good?"
"Good." Dean enjoyed the feeling of each and every one of his muscles unlocking and unwinding, as he melted more and more into Cas's arms. "Mmm, we should use the tub at home more."
"Been trying to tell you that," Cas murmured. He trailed the tips of his fingers down Dean's arm, traveling slowly down to his waist. Shifting a little, Cas positioned them so he could run his hands across Dean's hips. His fingers danced a slow trail towards Dean's groin.
"Lost cause," Dean muttered.
"Is it?" Cas wrapped his hand around Dean's dick, stroking gently. "Does that feel good?"
"Yeah," Dean breathed, "but it's a waste of time. Every time we've tried to lately -"
"Ssh," Cas cut him off. "Don't think. Don't concentrate. Just feel. Just let go, and feel. It doesn't matter if you come as long as you feel good. Ok?"
"Ok."
"Close your eyes."
Dean complied, letting his head roll back onto Cas's shoulder. The grip on his cock was firm, sliding up and down slowly, gently. Dean didn't think. He lost himself in the rhythm of Cas's hand on him. The other hand slid up his chest, fingers finding his nipple. Electric sparks tripped across his vision.
"Fuck -"
"It's good, isn't it?"
"Yeah. Fuck, Cas."
"Ssh."
Something slick joined the party and Cas picked up the pace, sliding his whole fist up over the head, back down and up again, adding a clever little twist with his wrist. His other hand was still exploring, sliding down Dean's back.
"Still doing good?"
"Fuck, Cas, I think I'm gonna - I'm gonna -"
Cas sucked his ear into his mouth, and a finger slipped between his cheeks, finding his hole easily.
"A-ahh!" Dean's hips bucked, and he painted his own chest with come. The aftershocks seemed to go on forever, until he finally slumped back into Cas's arms, panting.
"See? Don't stress it. Feel better now?"
"I feel amazing. Can we get out though? I'd like to return the favor and I think I could do that better in bed."
"Alright."
Once situated in the bed, Dean propped his body on pillows and sucked and fingered Cas to an orgasm. Sated, they curled around each other in bed.
"Damn, I feel good as fuck right now."
"Good. I'm glad." Cas shifted Dean around until he was laying on his shoulder. "Now go to sleep," he chuckled.
"Alright."
It was quiet in the room, lights from the city creating an ambient glow that caught in Cas's pretty eyes.
"Any chance we could attempt Italy before we go home? I'd really like to see the Vatican again."
"Let's wait and see how you feel, alright? But I don't see it being a problem. We can take the train."
"Ok."
Dean was almost asleep when Cas kissed his forehead and whispered, "Happy Anniversary. I love you."
"Love you, too."
