Chapter Two – The Groomsmen

"I feel like a fucking penguin." Clint tugged at his long, dark grey tailcoat. There was no doubt he looked good in it, the cut emphasizing his broad shoulders and narrow hips. All of the men looked good in their tailcoats actually, good enough that there had already been one minor crash and several near-misses from women driving past the chapel taking their eyes off the road to gape.

"You'll waddle like one after I cut you off at the knees, Barton!" Sam Wilson snapped as Clint accidentally elbowed him in the ribs.

"This is a stupid suit. It doesn't do anything."

"Oh, shut up, Stark. The whole reason you weren't allowed to try it on before today was precisely so that you couldn't start tinkering and modifying it. Banner, stop pulling at your tie. Rogers, stop looking perfect." Fury glowered at them all impartially.

"Sir?" Steve looked puzzled.

"You're making me feel inadequate."

"You, sir? You came back from the dead!"

"So did you, Rogers. And you, Stark. And you, and you two!" Fury jabbed an irritated finger at Coulson, Rumlow and Barnes.

"It seems to be becoming a habit around here," Bucky noted dryly, pulling a grey leather glove on to cover his metal hand. Brock Rumlow, standing just behind Bucky, snorted with laughter and covered his mouth with his hand, pretending to cough as Fury glared at him.

"Hopefully it's not catching, or at least the actually getting-killed part anyway," Clint muttered under his breath to Sam Wilson, who grinned and then nudged him in the ribs to silence him.

"All ready? I swear it's like herding cats," Fury grumbled, then gestured at the chapel door. "Come on, then, we're going to be late. Where the fuck is Thor?"

"With all due respect, Sir, isn't this the best man's job?" Steve said politely.

"Well if he would just do his job, that would be nice! Where is Thor?"

"I am here, Mister Angry!" Thor boomed, dropping down out of the sky and plonking Mjölnir down beside the door, brushing his suit off with his fingers and making even Captain America look ordinary in comparison with his golden godliness. "I apologise for my tardiness! I have just concluded a successful bildsnipe hunt with the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif!"

"They aren't invited, are they?" Bruce whispered to Phil. "Tell me they aren't invited. Sif sets the Other Guy off something terrible…"

"They're not invited," Coulson said calmingly, "don't worry." He reached forward to open the chapel door. "Everything's under control." Bruce wasn't sure, though, if Phil wasn't trying to calm himself down as much as all of the others.

So who do you think is the lucky groom? Guesses in the comments box… there's a cast of ten to choose from, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Thor, Fury, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Brock Rumlow, Bruce Banner and Phil Coulson.

Thank you very much to everyone who's made guesses so far – they ranged from as far out of left field as Victor Von Doom, to the correct answer – which I won't be revealing just yet!