Ok so I got a review from a guest today, basically saying that I should give up this fic because there is no wrestling in it and that it will fail just like "Hate This Place" did. At first I was so peeved and was about to throw in the towel on this whole FF thing but after a verbal slap of sense and supportive words from XxPunkleexX and RedFoxy. I have decided that this person is not worth it. I shall continue on as planned. I am not doing this for popularity and I don't care about reviews. I'm here to share with all you PunkLee fans what is going on in my brain. If that isn't enough then that's ok. Don't read. I have accepted the review so anyone wanting to read it and laugh is free to do so. And to this lovely person who wrote the review, you are also welcome to review all my other future chapters. Have a nice day. To all who reviewed with proper spelling and punctuation, thank you :)


Another wife so terrified as I am? Oh God, please, no!

"C-Calm down! Candice isn't it?" I ask, trying to think. "It's AJ. Breathe yeah? Nice and deep. Tell me what's happened..."

But she's not calm at all. She just screams again; "They've killed him!"

I turn desperately around and I'm greeted by the sight of Phil, jeans and a rumpled top pulled on as he stands, towelling dry the back of his neck. He sighs dramatically.

"You're too late now sweetheart, you really should take it when it's-" But his smile falls away when he sees my panic. "April, what's wrong?"

"Candice..." I gabble, pressing the phone into his chest and turning back against the armrest of the sofa, propped up there as I bite into my thumb, needing to hear what's going on. Because I need to settle the mania whirring in my head. I'm scared. Really and truly. I might be many things, but I'm not naive and I am so past believing in coincidence. This... This has got Jacks name all over it, I know it has. I feel so sick. He's trying to get to me and Phil through Candice & Zack. This is my warning... and I've just handed it straight to Phil.

I push myself forward a little and about to start pleading for him to return the phone, regretting my instinct. As much as Phil might care for these people, their problems are not ours. This has to be about just us.

Except I'm too damn late. Because he's pacing, facial muscles all contorting in confusion as he tries to make sense of Candice's panic, all fizzling away in his ear.

"Candice? Whoa, Candy... Candy, slow down... what the hell has happened? Darlin', will you just breathe?" Then he stops, rigid in the middle of the room as he listens, his eyes locking anxiously on mine. I have to throw back a look of concern, but really I'm biting into my lip to stop myself sobbing. "What? Why the hell would he-? Intensive Care? Shit! Candy, tell me honestly... has he... gone under again? I mean, you're alright for money yeah? You and the kids? Where are the kids?"

Oh my God, they've got kids!

I hunch forward instinctively, needing to protect my own precious babies from this threat. Because I know now that it's most definitely there.

"OK, good... maybe they should stay with your mom yeah? Candy, calm down, you're not gonna be any use to anyone like this... it's gonna be alright, yeah? I'll be with you in half an hour... yep, I'm getting in the car now... so have a cigarette, dry your eyes then... get back to Zack eh? He needs you. Yeah, alright... bye. Breathe Cand-"

Just to see the amount of pain of his face as he hangs up... I hate myself. I hate that I couldn't stay away and simply hope that his feud with Jack might die where it stood. I did this. I'm the reason Candice is keeping a bedside vigil...

"Phillip?" I coax gently, winding my arms around him as he stands there, stunned. "Baby, what is it?"

There are tears in his eyes. I can't bear it. His voice is breaking with the emotion. With me, he can't even try and hide it and I am guilt-ridden.

"Zack's been... completely done in. Some heavies just barged in and half-killed him. Candice had to grab the kids and run to her mom's. She had to leave him there and they... Fuck sake, they broke both his legs April. He's actually in pieces. And she doesn't know why. If he... If he was in that much trouble... with anyone, why didn't he... call me?"

"Shhh!" I soothe shakily, standing on my tippy toes, nestling into the crook of his neck. "This isn't your fault."

It's mine.

And as he clings to me, I know I simply never want to let go, but in his naivety, my incredible husband is left with strength when I have none. He draws back and dares to smile, a weak offering I know he can never mean.

"I... I have to go..."

I want to protest, and I even have the words, if only I knew how to speak them. But how can I, without revealing the sickening truth and sending him charging straight into John and Jacks threats? I'm not going to lose Phil again, not for anything, not ever.

"I'm coming with you." I tell him determinedly, slipping my fingers comfortingly through his tremoring hand, holding on through nothing more than the shattering guilt. He lets out the smallest sigh of defeat that I have ever known. Even now, he doesn't want to admit he might need me. He nods and moves off to slip into into trainers, that are, as ever, in a messy heap by the door. I pick up my bag from the sofa and turn round, ready to go, ready to protect my vulnerable husband with everything that's within me. Thank god the kids were with Stephen and Kaitlyn, I'll need to phone and tell them what's going on.

We don't speak as we walk, holding on to one another. And I'm grateful, because with the force of this misery, I can feel my confessions pressing painfully against my restricting throat, ready to hurtle out and be known. And I'd sooner die than endanger Phil in a way that would take him in the same way.

But as we move to the car, Phil pulls forcefully away from my hand, rounding on me and pressing into my shoulders. "I'm gonna do this on my own." he tells me steadily, his eyes glazed in such a way that tells me, even though he's looking right at me, he doesn't see me.

I almost choke, terrified. "But... you're not on your own anymore, darlin'..."

He smiles so perfectly gently and I feel so guilty I could well be sick.

"I don't want you to see the state he's in, April, not after last time... it isn't gonna do you any good-"

"I'm a big girl now Phil."

"Alright-" And his hands slide flawlessly down my form and pressing softly into my stomach as the pads of his thumbs trace idle circles. "-so think of the baby..."

I whimper in protest. He knows damn well he's going at my Achilles heel there. "That's not fair... I... we should be there too."

"No." he replies, shaking his head so slightly. "I'll be fine."

"Will you call?"

"Of course I will. And when I get back; me, you Junior in here and the kids, when they're home... we're going out. Gonna go hide in some other..." His eyes dart damningly around as he scrutinises our surroundings. "-less miserable corner of the world for a while yeah? Just us..."

My smile widen in spite of everything. "Like a proper little family eh?"

"Uh huh. And I promise... I'm going spoil you..." And I surrender to the insistence of his lips as they rest against mine, kissing me fiercely. Oh, I miss his kisses already and he's not even gone. I shouldn't let him go - anything could happen and I...

"I love you so much." I whisper, hoping he doesn't read my sincerity for the desperation it hides. I'm so scared. Oh God, why should I feel like this?

"Love you more." he returns teasingly, somehow gone from me before I can even think to hold on, plead with him to stay with me. I stagger back, my chest unbearably tight with the pressure of the next sob that I can at last cry seeing as Phil is gone. But I swing round on my heel before I dare be so weak as to give in again. I take in nothing around me besides the rush of passing noises as I get into my car and charge over to Scarlet, Jacks new club, such determination roaring inside me, all I am aware of is the burning of unshed tears in my eyes, the erratic pounding of my own abused heart and the blood beating in my ears.

I almost stumble down the stairs into the club, falling awkwardly against the cold brick wall and tenderly rubbing my sore elbow as I straighten up. I can't believe how cold and small this place seems to be now, now that such exposed evil is at the helm. It was just a shell now. Simply something else Jack Brooks is determined to destroy.

Drumming my fingers into the cushion of my lip, I look around the darkened bar. But it's still. So, with one heaving breath of realisation, I know the only place it's worth going is through to the office. I flinch at the shadow stretching across the wall - one of Jacks monkeys is positioned at the door. I'm frightened, my stomach writhing, but hell, this brainless bastard is never going to know that. I, and my husband are so much above this kind of world now.

So I defiantly lift my chin and keep moving forward. He snarls at me, his fat lip curling over and blocks my way.

"Get out of my way." I snap, swinging my hair over my shoulder as I glare up at him.

"I don't know what you're doing down here missus, but Mr. Brooks isn't to be disturbed..."

I laugh scornfully out the side of my mouth, pitying how long it must have taken this pathetic excuse of a human being to learn how to reel that off from memory. "Well, I'm Phillip Brooks missus, so why don't you be a good boy and check that again?"

He can't even manage to shrug his shoulders in dismissal and that just makes me flip in anger. "Oh, get out of my bloody way!" I yell, driving my whole weight past him. His first instinct is to get away from me, which means I'm pushing against the office door before he remembers he's meant to be stopping me going in here.

But his huge arms come around me and he tries to drag me from the office, so I keep screaming.

"Get your hands off me!"

"Mr. Brooks isn't to be disturbed lady! I told you once..."

"Roger..." comes a stern voice that makes me go cold and seems to terrify the monkey too as he immediately steps back from me. The office chair swings round and there's Jack, sat back like some perverse spectator, enjoying the show. "...what have I told you about man-handling the clientele, especially the ladies? The pregnant ladies..."

"Sorry boss." Roger mumbles, like some scorned schoolboy before he backs out, drawing the door shut.

Left alone, Jack seems bright. Too bright.

"April! What can I do for you?"

"It was you, wasn't it?" I hiss in disgust, but he has the nerve to look confused, hunching his shoulders in doubt. "Was what me?"

"You think you're such a big man don't you hmmm? But it's animals like that-" I fling my arm out in accusation towards the doorway, beside which I am in no doubt Roger is back guarding. "-that do the real work isn't it Jack? Like John does now, like Phil used to. All you've got to do is call and they'll rough up whoever you like. Me, Phil, Zack..."

"Zack?" He purses his lips in thought but I know he's just mocking me.

"You've had a man half-killed because... why? Because he knows Phil? What kind of reason is that?"

"Reason enough."

"He's his best friend!"

"No, no, no!" Jack raises his palms as he looks down at his desk, chuckling. "Zack was just a little warning to you and those kids of yours. Just to let you know that I don't make empty threats. The clock's ticking on Phillip-" He glances casually at his Rolex watch and I begin to convulse. "And my boys were on the instruction to merely hospitalise poor Zack.."

"You're sick."

He nods. "That's right April." he says calmly as he pushes himself up. "I am. Sick of men like Phillip, my own flesh and blood thinking they're above me, thinking they can destroy me. Because no-one is going to bring Jack Brooks down without a fight. And your husband... he wanted a fight April."

"No. We don't. I don't."

"It's too late. You have until the end of the year or..." He slides his fingertip tauntingly across his throat.

"Don't you know any other way? Jack please, I'll do anything."

He seems amused by my desperation. "You know, that's what was always so nice about you April. I know you would. God, I hate nice people." He folds his arms across his chest and leans back, perching against the edge of his desk. "But still, if you mean it when you say anything, then I suppose it'd be rude of me not to reconsider, wouldn't it?"

I daren't say anything, move or even breathe, even though I want to shudder in repulsion as I feel his presence at my side, can practically taste his rancid breath as he whispers in my ear, letting it go all across the side of my face.

"I'm sure we'd be able to come to some sort of arrangement..."