Against All Odds

Disclaimer: Naruto isn't mine.

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2: Newfound Religion

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For perhaps one of the first times in his fairly long life, Sasori truly regretted his decision. Okay, Deidara had been correct. This place was honestly horrible, and no secret, no matter how wholesome, was really worth his time, and soon, those promised five minutes would be up. Pein would be displeased, but he could get the secret itself, if he dared. He was keeping Deidara waiting, and he despised making people wait especially for what may have been a practical joke on his leader's part. Not that Pein was the joking type…

But unfortunately, Sasori could not find the entrance from which he had come in. The place had turned into a maze, an impossible and annoyingly dark maze, and while Sasori had pulled every trick in the book, used his genius to his every advantage, he could not find the way out. It seemed at every turn, there was a wall and at every wall, the path forked in two. And while Sasori had even tried the old-fashioned string trick, he realized, rather dully, that the string seemed to be cut or burned from behind, but when he tried to find the source, it had mysteriously disappeared.

Seriously creepy indeed. Not even Hiruko, the puppet he operated, could compare.

He twitched Hiruko's tail, uncharacteristically nervous. It was odd but Hiruko didn't seem to move as well as usual. The reflexes weren't the same, though his hands moved twice as fast. He could move alright, but his favorite toy wasn't working, making him most displeased. Perhaps, he needed to adjust the joints…

But lost in thought, Sasori didn't even recognize that there was another living thing watching him, waiting, not until at least, it swept down and attacked.

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Sakura groaned as she pulled herself up, untangling her arm from the gate's wire. Oh, how could she have been so stupid? Only idiots would enter the cave… no, really, Sakura? Because only a really smart person would lean against an ancient, vine-covered gate and expect it to hold!

She slapped her forehead. Yes, what had possessed her to lean against the damn gate? Not that she really believed any of those legends, but, she realized dimly as she looked up, the entrance was no where to be found. Groaning, she must've fallen down so far that it was hidden, even though it had felt like she fell only ten feet. It was as if this place denied the very laws of physics that she had spent memorizing for half her life…

Oh. This was just so wrong.

Rubbing her side and muttering that this was way too much work for just one plant, Sakura decided to begin walking, despite it being so difficult to see. The ground was soft and earthy, and while everything seemed pitch black, she decided that there would have to be something worth finding in the cave. She reached down to the soil. Perhaps, she could find the herb in here after all. Or maybe this was all just one big illusion. One big, really creepy illusion…

She continued walking.

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Sasori couldn't decide whether it was a bird's or reptile's skeleton. Either way, it was damn ugly, damn disturbing, and made Hiruko look like a Teddy Bear, something which really did piss him off. He reared Hiruko's ugly head. Okay, so the cave thing was definitely a very, very bad idea. Pein meet pain.

"I'm making someone wait for me," he grumbled through Hiruko, and creature just shrieked ceaselessly in reply. Had he been human, he was sure it would affect his ears with that annoying pitch. Not like it didn't already. "You're in the way."

But the bird-reptile didn't seem to care, and instead, swooped again, fangs bared. How could they still be sharp? The thing looked as if it were a hundred years old! He lashed out at it, but the bone-made creature merely flew higher into the cavern, into a space that Sasori hadn't even realized was there. What was up with this place, figuratively and literally? This was not worth anything at all…

But, he realized, he was stuck here, stuck trying to defeat this bird creature or he'd die in a cave all alone. And he said he was going to live forever.

Well, he was. Hiruko's tail, long and fast as it was, could not reach its target, and so, Sasori decided, it was time to pull out a new trick.

"Lucky bird, you get to face our greatest Kazekage," he said, as he unraveled the scroll which contained his strongest weapon and his favorite puppet.

The bird-lizard screeched nosily. Hiruko creaked again. Nothing else happened. Sasori felt shock, something he hadn't really experienced in a very long time.

Wordlessly, Sasori took out scrolls to his many individual puppets, trying them all. But they wouldn't appear.

"I can't use my weapons," he breathed. "What the hell is wrong with this place?"

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"Everything is wrong with this place!" Sakura shouted into the emptiness. "This place, this place" echoed against the walls, but soon, only silence remained. "Damn it!" Sakura shouted again, and this time, the echo was even shorter. She slumped onto the ground again and buried her face in her knees. Though Tsunade-sama had taught her to be patient, to wait and listen, she couldn't stand it anymore. It felt as if she had been stuck here forever, though she doubted whether it was more than an hour. There was nothing she could do…

"I'm not going to die here, am I?"

A creaking sound came from a chamber not far from her but deeper still within the maze. Sakura hesitated. She'd had enough of listening to nature's great messages, but she didn't really have much of a choice. She'd die here anyway, right? Might as well follow one more.

She followed the clash, her hands clenched into fists. And as, she listened to the noises, she almost smiled. It sounded like a battle.

And battles were something that Sakura could do.

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Metal against bone, screech against creak, the ungodly versus the mechanic… Hiruko's tail clashed once again against the bird's wings and the sounds of metal and wood resounded throughout the chamber. It was so loud. But no one would hear it…

He could not fight against the bird. He had attacked at every angle, at every weak point, but the creature didn't even come close to defeat. When it broke, it repaired itself. When it failed, it restarted, and Hiruko's metallic stinger could not penetrate its bone.

How could he win? There was just no way… just no answer…

And then suddenly, completely on cue, a girl stumbled into the chamber.

Sasori's first impression was that she had pink hair. Bright pink hair. Emerald eyes. Generally pleasing features. It was natural for a puppet master to recognize these things, these odd characteristics that would make a character memorable and a play attractive. And then, he saw her step forward with an easiness that surprised him. The way she moved – it was far too graceful for the ordinary. This girl was a ninja, same as him.

She looked back curiously from Hiruko to the bird, her eyes flashing from fright to determination. She readied her stance, as if this scene were absolutely normal, as if it were just another mission. Well, at least she didn't seem to be a ditz…

"So," she asked curiously, "tell me, greatly annoying nature spirits, which side am I on?"

Okay, so maybe she was. Sasori had no idea what the hell she was raving about, but, he reasoned, she was probably in a pretty similar position as him if she thought he was a nature spirit. He made a mental note to make Hiruko look more menacing. And although he wasn't who she addressed exactly, he could at least answer the question.

"Mine," he said simply, waving Hiruko's tail at her. "Do you know how to defeat this bird?"

The girl looked at him completely startled that he could talk. Or that he spoke so casually. Sasori made another mental note to speak loudly and ominously when he pretended to be a nature spirit. Not that he really planned on doing that again, and soon, her time would be up.

"I thought it was a lizard."

Definitely a ditz. Okay, so it wouldn't have mattered anyway. He hissed through Hiruko's wooden teeth.

"I guess you don't know then."

The bird swooped; he parried it with the tail. The girl watched it curiously.

"Is that metal?"

"And poison," Sasori replied icily as he batted that creature away. Cursing his luck, Sasori continued waving the tail around. Obviously metal. So, here he was about to die, a pink-haired brat beside him, a brat who just stood there, completely worthless. Well that was fair enough, he supposed, the fate that he deserved for his rather unconventional lifestyle. But if he survived, he made himself promise he would never doubt Deidara again… except maybe on art…

"But it isn't you," the girl muttered quietly. She looked at him. "Is that your real body?"

What did that matter? But Sasori shook Hiruko's head anyway. "It's a puppet."

But the girl didn't seem to be listening. Amidst all the clashing and the banging, she paced back and forth, and Sasori almost admired her courage. Or idiocy. Sometimes there was no difference between the two. "You will be your only shield…" she murmured briefly, her eyes closed as if she was trying to remember something. "I wonder if… the substance has to be organic…"

"Well, the attacker certainly is organic," Sasori muttered dryly. "It's made of dirt and bone."

Suddenly, the girl raced over towards him, her fist behind her. She aimed a punch at the bird with a mighty swing.

Miss! But the wall before her crumbled into bits, and Sasori raised his eyes appreciatively, despite his initial impression. Such brute strength from a pink-haired brat. Ditz or not, she could hurl a nice swing.

But however nice it was, he noted, she couldn't reach it. The bird didn't target her. And, Sasori realized quickly, the bird didn't target her most likely because she could hurt it. Though now, she wasn't tall enough or fast enough.

But Hiruko was.

"Jump onto the tail," he instructed to the kunoichi as he extended it towards her. Without hesitation, she was on, surfing on the tail against the bird, his fingers, her eyes chasing the bird in determined unison.

It clashed with her hand.

The bones flew everywhere.

Ditz indeed.

"Well, it's gone," she said approvingly as she studied her hand which was completely unharmed, and Sasori was almost annoyed that this little girl managed to destroy what had previously been a great adversary to him as easily as swatting a fly. She changed her focus from her hand onto Hiruko's face, completely oblivious to his disgrace.

"So it seems only living things can destroy the living dead," she noted. Sighing slightly, she jumped off Hiruko's tail, landing skillfully before him. She almost extended a hand to him, but after surveying Hiruko, she offered instead a faltering smile. Sasori snorted slightly beneath his puppet, but the girl didn't hear him. Instead, she introduced herself.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Haruno Sakura. So what are you exactly?"

Sasori ignored her as he mulled over this newly acquired information, facing the very, very unfortunate facts about this god-forsaken cave. One, Hiruko couldn't hurt his enemies. Two, he couldn't use his fucking puppets. Three, he couldn't even use himself considering that these things could only be defeated by organic material, and an unfortunate side-effect of becoming a puppet himself, was that he really wasn't organic anymore. And these three facts all pointed to dependence upon this bright-haired Haruno Sakura who may or may not be a ditz.

Yes, Deidara deserved more credit than he gave him credit for.

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AN: The only thing I hate more than reading action chapters is writing them. Now, if you really just hate, hate, hate chapter 3, then you probably won't ever come to like this story. But for now, please forgive the plot devices and bear with me for at least one more chapter. I only have a few action chapters planned… some at the beginning, some at the end. But really, I prefer romance. Don't worry; they'll get out of the cave soon enough (sort of).

It's harder to update now that school's started. And thanks so much for the reviews. I wasn't expecting any, and all of them were wonderful. :)