Thank u for your reviews! You guys are awesome:). This chapter was kind of hard to write, I caught an awful cold so maybe some sentences don't make sense (when i have a cold i can't think straight T.T), hopefully most of it does. I hope u enjoy this chapter :), suggestions and advices are always welcome. Oh, btw, someone pointed out that Feldt's eyes are green not blue, so my apologies for that mistake
Feldt had never planned to ask Setsuna to accompany her, in fact she would have never had the courage to do so. It had happened automatically, he had looked so dejected and lost that her heart went out to him and the words left her lips uncalled for. Now her nerves were getting the better of her as her whole being seemed to be trembling in excitement.
He said yes!
"Oh for heaven's sake Feldt!" she said to herself "it's not like he's going to marry you or something, it's not even a date." But she couldn't help the smile lighting up her face.
The last months had been a total misery. When Setsuna finally woke up, he seemed to be even more closed up than before, reclining in solitude, he refused to talk to anybody unless it was absolutely necessary.
Her smile banished slowly. It pained her to see him like that, she wished she could approach to him and help him open up. It was obvious that there was something inside him that grieved him deeply, and it saddened her that she knew he would never tell her. Would princess Marina be better at reaching out to him? Her heart gave a sudden lurch of jealousy, and she shook her head to shake the bitter feeling away. Whatever had happened between the princess and Setsuna, it wasn't her problem, no matter what her feelings for him were.
But today she was going to have him for herself. Her sweet smile returned.
"What should I wear?" she wondered as she looked at her small closet. She did have a desperate need for new clothes, some of her clothes were so old she didn't even remember when she bought them. She had a pitiful excuse of a closet.
She was about to change her pink shirt and pajama shorts for a white tank top and another pair of shorts, when her eyes fell on a dress she didn't even know she owned. It was a white dress with an open back. How on Earth did such a thing end up in her closet? She had never owned that style of clothing. Just to see how it fitted, she tried it on and turned around to see her reflection. As she caught sight of herself, she realized with a pang that the dress had belonged to Christina Sierra. Feldt looked away from the mirror, her knees suddenly feeling weak. She had forgotten that the lively girl had left it for her, demanding that she wear more fashionable clothes. She had never tried it before.
She sat down heavily on her bed, debating whether or not to take off the dress, feeling a dead weight on her heart at the thought of her fallen friend. As she thought of her, she just knew what Chris would have said to her at that moment: "Just wear the damn thing! You want to sway him off his feet, don't you?" She could even picture her winking her eye at her with a cheeky smile.
She sighed, "All right, Chris," she said softly, smiling sadly at the memory of her "I'll wear it for you." She stood up again to face her reflection again.
Was this too much?
The dress was a bit too short for her taste and she felt self-conscious about the open back. What would Setsuna think?
She decided to wear shorts with it. Just in case. What if there was a lot of wind outside?
She could imagine a disappointed Christina shaking her head at her.
"I know, I'm a coward" She said silently, but refused to take off the shorts.
Taking a deep breath, she left her room before she would change her mind. Setsuna was waiting beside her door, his expression as thoughtful as ever. He hadn't change his dark clothes, but he was now wearing a pair of fingerless gloves that covered his silver palms. His eyes flickered for a moment over her, and she could have sworn his eyebrows rose a millimeter in surprise.
"I'm ready," she said simply, feeling a blush creeping all over her face, trying to ignore the nervousness that was making her tremble inside.
"Let's go, then" Setsuna replied, and started down the hall, Feldt followed him silently. She rubbed her arms as they walked, trying to think of something to say.
"So... do you need to get anything from town?" She finally asked.
"No," was his simple answer.
An awkward silence fell between them. She was starting to wish she hadn't ask him to accompany her when they finally arrived to where they stored the vehicles. Setsuna kept walking towards a fancy black motorcycle.
"Oh, we-we are taking your motorcycle?" Feldt stuttered nervously.
"Yeah, why? Is there a problem?" He turned to her, and realization dawned on his eyes as he glanced at her dress again "Oh, well we can always take Allelujah's car."
"Oh no, it's not that, I'm wearing shorts," she said, blushing again "it's just that- well... I... I don't like... I'm afraid of motorcycles." she finished clumsily.
He stood in silence for a moment as if unsure he had heard her correctly. "What?" he asked confused.
"Never mind," she waved her hand as if she could wave her last words away "let's ride it."
She tried to walk to the machine with dignity, but tripped with her own trembling feet and fell right on top of it.
"Are you ok?" Setsuna asked her worried, quickly approaching to her.
"Yeah," Fedlt said, hiding her red face in her arms. If she would get any more redder, she would explode.
"Good thing the motorcycle didn't fall down, you could have hurt yourself."
"yay lucky me," she said without enthusiasm. He tapped her on her shoulder to give her a hand and she took it, sighing.
"I've never seen you so nervous before,"
Oh curse you Setsuna! She thought embarrassed as she stood up. Was that a tiny twinkle of amusement in his eyes? Realizing that she was still holding his hand, she dropped it immediately. He left her to her own thumping heart and went to sit in the front of the motorcycle and put his helmet on.
"Come on, nothing is going to happen, I'm a good driver," he said as he turned it on. The machine roared to life.
He must think I'm an idiot, she thought as she took another helmet. Way to go Feldt. She took a few more seconds before sliding behind Setsuna, while her head screamed at her to get away from the machine she viewed as dangerous.
"Don't worry, you'll be fine," Setsuna said. Could he sense her terror? Did he think she was being ridiculous? She wouldn't blame him if he did.
Timidly, she slid her arms around his waist, and her heart gave a flutter.
"I won't let anything happen to you."
He didn't say it in a romantic way, but matter of factly, as if he said it everyday. Maybe he did, in his head, to the rest of the world. Even so, Feldt couldn't help the warmth spreading inside her at his words.
Trees passed quickly by as they moved through a road made of dirt surrounded by a dense forest. Feldt was hugging Setsuna tightly, eyes shut, trying to ignore the growing fear that was making her heart tremble like a bird, while memories kept coming to her mind. She tried to ignore them, wishing she had agreed to take Allelujah's car. Why couldn't she move pass that incidence that had happened so long ago? She hoped Setsuna didn't mind her tight grip.
Unexpectedly, her fear started to dissolve slowly, while the torrent of memories stopped coming to her mind, and she was able to open her eyes to the landscape quickly passing by. Was this part of Setsuna's strange influence as an innovator? He was warm against her, and she laid her head softly on his back, wishing she could somehow stay like that forever, close to the man she wished she could reach.
As they came closer and closer to the town, buildings replaced trees and the road made of dirt became cement. Tourists filled the lively streets, enjoying the weather and chattering happily without a care for the world. Setsuna parked in an almost full parking lot and the rumbling engine became silent. They both slid off the motorcycle and clicked their helmets on the handlebars. They stood there for a moment, Feltd unsure of what to do or say.
"Oh," she said when she realized he was waiting for her to lead the way "I'm not sure where exactly I want to go first, I've never come to this town before."
she quickly explained embarrassed.
"We can walk around," Setsuna, always so practical, replied. She wanted to smack her brow at the obvious answer. She was acting like a complete idiot. They left the parking lot and joined the tourists walking on the streets.
The day became hotter as they passed stores, bakeries, restaurants and about anything a beach town could offer. Feldt grew more and more reluctant at the idea of entering a store and trying clothes in front of Setsuna. Why did she dare invite him? He was probably bored now, regretting his decision of coming with her. She stole a quick glance at him, sweat beads were running down the sides of his face.
"Aren't you hot? It must be really uncomfortable to be out in this weather with those clothes," she said.
"I'm alright," he answered, in that monotonous and serious voice of his. She would have believed him if she hadn't seen the sweat.
"You can get a heat stroke, you know? You're not immune to everything," she replied, worry apparent in her tone. She quickly looked around until she spotted a men's store. "Come," she said, taking his arm and dragging him toward the store.
Setsuna looked really out of place as he stood between stacks of surfer's clothes, colorful shorts and designer shirts.
"Oh come on! Don't look at me like that, I'll pay for your clothes," Feldt said smiling, "you know, you should really add some color to your wardrobe."
He wondered why would a guy even waste his time for such a trivial matter.
"I thought we were going to look for clothes for you?" he mentioned, and Feldt ignored him completely as she looked around the store. This was much more fun.
So for fun's sake, she took a sleeveless shirt that looked suspiciously Hawaiian. It was red with a big white turtle covering one of the sides. Next she chose a pair of white shorts made of cotton.
"Here, try these," she said.
He took them awkwardly and looked at her as if wondering if she was actually being serious. Feldt sighed and gently pushed him to the changing rooms.
"Come on, it wont kill you to try them," she pushed him into one of the small rooms and closed the door. "You have to show me how they look!" she added.
It took him half a minute to reluctantly change into the ridiculous clothes, and opened the door, sighing.
She blinked several times. She had only seen him wearing the same type of clothes over and over again, and the change of style really did something for his eyes, bringing out the intense brown color. But the most striking thing was he looked so normal it was really strange. Not a gundam meister anymore, not a soldier of celestial being, just a normal guy going out to the beach.
"I'll pay for them," she said, already walking towards the cashier.
"I don't need them," Setsuna replied awkwardly, but she ignored him a second time and kept walking. He sighed again, he had to admit that the change of clothes felt great.
They were out on the streets again, Setsuna carrying a bag with his black clothes while Feldt smiled happily to herself.
"Are you hungry?" she suddenly asked him.
"Are you hungry?" he asked her back.
"It would be nice to have something to eat," she admitted.
At that moment they heard the sound of music and laughter, and as they approached an intersection, they saw that the long street had been closed and a festival filled the road now blooming with life.
"Oh!" Feldt said delighted "Let's go there,"
He was about to ask a monotonous why when she took his arm and pulled him toward the celebration.
"I bet you have never gone to one of these!" she said to him, and her smile was simply so cheerful and her bright green eyes so filled with pleasure that he couldn't help the tiny crack of a smile that enlightened his somber expression.
"I thought you needed to buy some clothes," he said as she pulled him, and she shrugged.
They stopped by one of the stands to buy shrimps on sticks and moved along the numerous stands to see around. They saw dancers, artists and cooks, people selling masks and even a pair attempting to do a magic trick. Setsuna looked at it all not enjoying it personally, but with a satisfaction growing inside of him with each step he took.
This is why he had been fighting, for those children running around with happy smiles, for that mother nursing her child, for that brother carrying her baby sister on his back. They didn't need to know what was to fight a war, the piercing terror that follows you around in the night, the guilt of past mistakes.
He didn't have to be part of their normal lives, he would always live with a burden on his back, live with his own demons, but as long as he could say that it was worth it, he would continue fighting for the future.
Somewhere between all the noise and activities, Setsuna lost the plastic bag carrying his clothes. Feldt argued that they should look for it, but there were so many people now that she had to agree with him that it was pointless.
They finally arrived to the end of the stands, and Feldt decided to stop by a quiet cafe to refreshen and relax. They sat at a small, round table, sipping cold strawberry lemonades Feldt had insisted Setsuna try, and as she sat there with him, in the warm late afternoon, listening to the catchy music surrounding the cafe, she couldn't help to think at how surreal such a normal day seemed for them. It was so strange she wouldn't be surprised if it was all a dream.
"Why are you afraid of motorcycles?" he suddenly asked her, his eyes studying her silently. His gaze did strange things to her insides.
She wrung her hands nervously, not sure how to answer. In Celestial Being, they all stressed the fact that they had to keep their pasts and real identities in secret, even between themselves. Heck, she didn't even know what his real name was.
Such thought saddened her. If they were all friend and had survived so many deadly situations together, why couldn't they trust each other with their pasts? Wasn't her story hers to share or to hide? She decided to simply tell him, thinking it wouldn't do any harm.
"When I was little my parents would sometimes apologize that we couldn't lead a normal life on Earth, but they were always affirmed that it was necessary for the creation of a better world. However, they did send me to Earth occasionally, to experience first hand a little of the world they wanted to save. I would stay in the house of a man who took care of homeless children," she sap her lemonade for a moment before continuing, and a small smile lifted her lips "I enjoyed my time there, and took my 'mission' of learning about Earth very seriously. I was always fascinated by the cars, amazed at how old they seemed compared to the magnificent ships I had seen on space. How could people live happily in a place that seemed so out-of-date? But there weren't such things as motorcycles on space, and I was captivated by them," she stopped again, and stole a quick glance at Setsuna, wondering if he was going to think that her story was absurd. He was looking at her attentively, she lowered her eyes and continued.
"There was a man who lived close by who had one, and I convinced one of the kids to come with me to drive it," she blushed slightly as she remembered the way she had convinced him. He was a kid with a rebellious nature, and he had a crush on her. She had promised him a kiss if he would help her steal the motorcycle for just an hour. Now she wanted to shake her head at her bold promise. As a child she had been as quiet as she was now, but she would have done about anything to get her little hands on a machine. "The kid managed somehow to steal the keys from the owner, and we sneaked into his garage when we knew he wasn't home. We pushed the heavy motorcycle outside, and I sat on the driver's seat all excited, but I started to have doubts as it was way bigger than I had expected, so the boy told me to let him drive it; after all, he was taller than I was. But in my stubborn ambition I ignored him and turned it on, I released the clutch and throttled up. It was faster than I had imagined, too fast, and in my fear I had no idea how to stop, I was heading toward a cliff... I was lucky the cliff wasn't too high." She stopped for a moment again "I know it sounds stupid, ridiculous even, to be afraid of one little accident when we have gone through much more dire situations, but I guess it's because it was my first real experience with the fear of death." She sat quietly for a moment, letting the music fill the silence, and then she asked him softly "I've always wondered about your life, Setsuna."
A calm quiet fell upon them, and she gave him the choice to share something about him. As the silence stretched, she looked shyly up at him, and was struck again at the deep sadness that haunted his beautiful brown eyes. What had been so tragic in his life that he looked so hopeless?
"Let's go," she said quietly, and not knowing how else to reach him, how else to break down that invisible and intimidating barrier between him and the rest of the world, she took his hand in hers, and led him to the outside, toward the shore. Her hand felt small in his, but the warmth emanating from his was reassuring. Her breath caught in her throat when his fingers curled around hers.
