September 1978
It was the worst fucking day ever. Or at least in Marlene's opinion at the moment. She sat on the cold wooden floor of her flat as her eyes repeatedly stumbled over the words in the letter she had just received via owl.
Dear Ms. Marlene McKinnon,
We regret to inform you that based on your performance on the Official Auror Character and Aptitude Test (OACAT) you are seen as unfit for further Auror training. Although your practical defense skills were exemplary and your dedication is exceptional, we do not believe that you have the required character to preserve as an auror in the long run. Having the ability and desire to fight is simply not enough, especially during the trying circumstances of today's world. Under more extensive research of your marks, it came to our attention that your Transfiguration N.E.W.T only passed Exceed Expectations by three points. This information strengthened our decision for your denial.
If you still desire to become an Auror, we suggest you contact us and retake the OACAT in the future.
Auror Headquarters
Ministry of Magic, Level 2
"THIS IS SUCH SHIT!" Marlene screamed as she violently crumbled the letter and threw it across the room with great force. "FUCK THE AURORS. FUCK TRANSFIGURATION. FUCK MINNIE. FUCK ME," she said with more emphasis on each sentence.
She collapsed on to the ground and pulled her legs into her chest. Her body wracked with another deep sob and she wiped her eyes vehemently. Life was going spectacularly shit at the moment and her emotions were all pouring out at once. Her relationship with her long-term boyfriend had dissipated and she was looking forward to throwing herself into Auror training as a cathartic way of coping. Now that she lost that future, she never felt so utter dejected.
Suddenly someone knocked on the door. Marlene waited for five knocks and sure enough they came. She got up miserably and opened it. She was face to face with her best mate and flat mate, Emmeline Vance.
Emmeline took a good look at her distraught friend. She was wearing her dumpiest oversized sweatshirt and baggy jogger pants. Her hair that normally tumbled into sleek curls looked like a matted bird's nest. Her makeup-less face was red and puffy from crying the entire morning.
"You look like shit, Mars," Emmeline Vance said bluntly as she entered their flat. "What's wrong?" she asked with steady concern.
Marlene lost her voice momentarily due to all the crying and screaming. She quietly walked to the other side of her room and picked up the crumbled letter. She shoved it in her friend's face and dejectedly sat on the couch, waiting for Emmeline to finish it.
Emmeline gingerly held the letter as her face twisted into confusion. She flicked a short piece of hair out of her eyes. She just returned from the hair salon. Her previously long dark brown hair was now molded into a shaggy pixie cut that framed her angular face.
"Oh Mars…Mars," Emmeline grimaced and sat down next to her friend.
"What am I going to do?! That was IT. I don't have a back-up plan. I'm going to have to become a stripper now," Marlene said dramatically as she got up and paced around the flat while tugging on her tangled blonde hair. She was starting to lose her mind all over again.
"I don't think so. You might have the skills and dedication for it, but I don't believe you have the 'required character'," Emmeline said disdainfully as she finished reading the letter.
Marlene lunged at Emmeline, but was not quick enough. Emmeline hexed her with a binding curse before Marlene could get to the couch and tackle her.
"This is really not the right time to take the piss out of me, Emmy," Marlene growled and struggled to remember the counter-curse.
"See the way you're behaving right now? Yeah, this is why you were denied. You're too bloody emotional and messy," Emmeline critically commented. She crossed her thin, toned arms across her chest and eyed Marlene with scrutiny.
If there was one word to describe Emmeline, it was tough. She was a no nonsense type of girl and not many people could withstand her unsympathetic directness. Marlene thought she would have made a great drill instructor or whatever Muggles called them.
But Marlene admired her friend's vastly different personality. And though Emmeline would never say she approved of her friend's ridiculousness, she felt similarly. They were quite an odd pair; at least that's what many thought at Hogwarts. Marlene was vivacious, outgoing, and quick to laugh. Emmeline was hardcore, unfriendly, and serious. Marlene made Emmeline's life fun and Emmeline made Marlene's life grounded. The closer they became friends, the more they realized that they had similarities. Both girls dreamed of becoming Aurors.
Unfortunately only one of them made the cut.
"Honestly Mars, this is really not good. At all," Emmeline said bluntly, her frown overcoming her face.
Although she was upset for Marlene, a little greedy part of her was sad for herself. She wouldn't say, but she was quite excited about training with her best mate. They planned this for years. They were supposed to be side-by-side kicking Death Eater arse together. Now Marlene had gone and fucked it all up.
"Really? Because I thought it was all rainbows and kittens and bloody butterflies! Of course it's not good! It's bad! Really fucking terrible. We were supposed to do this together and now…and now…because I…," Marlene was beginning to tear up again and lost her voice, "Fuck, Emmy. What are we going to do? What am I going to do?"
She sobbed once more as Emmeline released the curse and Marlene cried on her shoulder.
"You could retake the test," Emmeline replied, knowing that it was no good.
Marlene scoffed. Once the Aurors officially denied a person it was exceedingly difficult to join, especially if it was under the basis of character. Not all hope was lost, but they wouldn't even consider her for another year or two. Emmeline had already been accepted and was set to start training that very week.
"I could go over there and offer to shag the entire Auror office, it still wouldn't change things," Marlene said unsmilingly. "Haven't you heard I'm a shitty weak-willed person? Who sucks at transfiguration?"
"If you're going to throw a pity party then I'm leaving," Emmeline said sternly.
"Funny, I don't recall sending you invitation," Marlene replied with petulance.
"Mars, stop. Using humor to divert the situation isn't going to do you any good. We need to seriously think this though. It's going to be ok. I'll make it ok," Emmeline spoke strongly.
Marlene smiled for the first time all day. She knew those words were empty, but they were comforting. It's not like Emmeline could stomp up to the Ministry of Magic and demand Marlene's acceptance. Still it was nice to know that she always had her back. But for once she needed to take control of her own life. She often felt like she played the part of the unruly child in her friendship trio where Emmeline was the dad and Lily was the mum.
"It's ok, Emmy. Or it's going to be. You're going to do your Auror training. No, listen," Marlene interjected before Emmeline could interrupt, "I'll figure it out. It's about time I took control of my own life. I need to grow up a bit. That's what you and Lils tell me all the time."
Emmeline looked surprised by Marlene's uncharacteristic sense of self-reliance, but then returned her words with a small smile.
"Who are you and what have you done with Marlene?" Emmeline joked and Marlene swatted her arm.
A moment passed.
"I'm going to miss having you at my side," Emmeline whispered and looked over Marlene's shoulder.
Now it was Marlene's turn to be taken a back. Emmeline was rarely tender.
When Marlene didn't reply due to shock, she continued. "We know each other's strengths and weaknesses. We fill what the other is missing. We're a team."
"Heterosexual life partners." Marlene added with a laugh.
"You're not really weak-willed, you know. Sometimes you need to work harder on following though. Everyone has bad and good qualities. Yours are just more extreme than most," Emmeline said insightfully.
"Care to share?" Marlene asked curiously. She took the opportunity to hear more about Emmeline's personal feelings. They rarely talked openly about their friendship or about what they thought about each other.
The dynamic of their friendship had altered within the last few months, mostly in a positive way. It had always been Marlene, Emmeline, and Lily back at Hogwarts. Now that Lily was busy being a wife, the two supported and relied on each other more than ever. Anyone would have suspected that they would have clashed more now that Lily wasn't there to balance out the polar duo, but they got along just as well because they understood and respected one another.
"About why you were denied into the Auror training?"
Marlene nodded.
"You're sensitive, Mars. Very sensitive. And bloody emotional. You might be able to duel and act tough when you want to, but your vulnerability might get you or someone else hurt. And sometimes you appease people to end conflict when you really should be fighting back. If you really want to be an Auror you need to be ruthless at times and you can never back down. I know you have that kind of strength within you. You just need to be more self-assured and grow thicker skin, "Emmeline said honestly and Marlene drank in every word she said like a woman dying of thirst.
"And sometimes you get into ridiculous and somewhat dangerous situations. Because you push the envelope since you're not willing to place judgment. You're ingenuous as hell."
They sat in silence and Marlene processed Emmeline's words. She nodded in acceptance.
"Thanks, Emmy. I really need to hear that." Marlene said seriously.
"Anytime."
They shared a comfortable silence.
"'Fucking transfiguration. Had it out for me since day one," Marlene said lightly, redirecting the serious conversation with a joke.
Emmeline cracked a smile.
"Three points."
Marlene laughed loudly and Emmeline joined her.
"I know, right?! Remember when I bragged to Minnie about getting an E? I was such a git. But the bitch got the last laugh. Damn her," Marlene commented through fits of giggles and stretched out on the sofa.
"You love that so called 'bitch'", Emmeline pointed out. "She was the only one who called you out for your laziness."
"She didn't have to embarrass me in class daily." Marlene pouted.
"True, you don't need any assistance in that aspect of you life. Your quite capable of humiliating yourself without the help."
"Tell me how you really feel, babe." Marlene said with mock flirtation.
"I'm quite hungry actually. " Emmeline said while rubbing her toned abs.
"Same."
"I'd suggest we'd cook something, but you managed to empty an entire fridge full of a weeks worth of groceries in a few days."
"What can I say, I'm a growing girl." Marlene winked.
"You don't need to grow any more," Emmeline said glancing over Marlene's lengthy figure.
"You do, you little goblin." Marlene teased.
"Ha ha, so funny I forgot to laugh." Emmeline said drily as she stood up.
"I thought goblins were quite clever?" Marlene replied, watching her with amusement. After the heavy conversation they just had it felt nice to know that they could revert back into their usual banter so easily. She really is my best mate Marlene thought proudly.
"Sod off. I'm going out to get some curry. Coming with?" Emmeline said as she absently counted her money.
"I wish. I'm meeting my grandmother for lunch," Marlene replied mournfully. She was definitely not looking forward to it.
"God this has been a rough week for you, hasn't it?" Emmeline glanced up. "Alec's being a prat, the whole Auror thing, and now a meeting with the infamous Mildred McKinnon." She let out a low whistle.
"Why is life punishing me, Emmy? I'm a good person," Marlene said dramatically but there was genuine desperation in her voice.
"Chin up, kid. It's strange to see you so downbeat. I don't like it," Emmeline replied by gently knocking her fist into Marlene's cheek. "You'll get through it. You always do," she finished.
It was an odd turn of events seeing Marlene disheartened and Emmeline cheering her up. Not that Emmeline needed cheering up usually. She took care of herself and got over things rather quickly. But Marlene was usually the one offer advice to others.
"It was so much easier at Hogwarts. Being an adult is harder than I thought it would be," Marlene said with a sigh as she checked her watch. She had to meet her grandmother in less an hour.
"You always have to remember that life doesn't owe you anything, " Emmeline firmly replied as she slipped her wallet back in to her jean pocket. "You have to work for everything you want. But occasionally it'll throw you something good. Or bad. You just have to deal with it the best you can," she ended wisely.
"Good luck with your nan, Mars," Emmeline said over her shoulder and walked out of the door, pulling it shut.
Marlene stood alone in their flat in contemplation. She stared at the door for a few moments wondering when Emmeline got so philosophical.
"You're late."
Mildred McKinnon was eyeing her granddaughter shrewdly. Mildred was dressed in a cobalt blue dress robe and her white hair was pinned neatly in a perfect chignon. It made Marlene feel very undressed as she her smoothed down her red Muggle sundress and then fiddled with her loose locks nervously.
"I'm sorry, I was held up," Marlene said politely and smiled sheepishly at her grandmother, who returned it with a frown. Somehow she managed to get ready rather quickly with the help of a few beauty charms, but she couldn't soothe the appearance of her puffy eyes no matter what spell she tried.
"Your skin looks terrible, Marlene."
"And so it begins," she muttered under her breath.
"What was that, dear?"
"I said I love your jewelry." She nodded at Mildred's expensive and ornate chandelier earrings that stretched her earlobes down heavily.
"It's very…sparkly," Marlene finished lamely, uncharacteristically at a lost for words. She was usually quite comfortable and confident with most people, but her grandmother unsettled her. Her eyes were the same shade of green-blue as hers, but she found judgment in grandmother's gaze instead of easiness.
"A woman should never be late, Marlene. It's improper," Mildred responded, ignoring the comment.
"Sometimes you can't help what life throws at you. You just have to deal with it the best you can," Marlene replied diplomatically, recalling the conversation she just had with Emmeline.
"Are you being pert with me, young lady? I will not tolerate that kind of behavior."
Thanks a lot Emmy, Marlene thought. It was going to be a long lunch and suddenly she wondered if she could get away with ordering some wine, but decided against it. She already offended her grandmother with a few sentences and would no doubt disapprove of drinking.
Instead of trying explaining what she meant, she decided to save herself the trouble.
"I apologize," Marlene said as authentically as she could. "It's been a rough month for me." More like months, she mused.
"Are you planning on getting married to this Alec Parsons boy? Your mother said that he was a decent lad. His father works at the Ministry. Accounting, I believe. I heard he's following in his footsteps. Accounting is a very practical choice, Marlene," she stated, completely ignoring her granddaughter once again.
Marlene screwed up her nose. She didn't know where they stood as a couple anymore. Things had been relatively easy and simple when they were at school, but now things were unnecessarily undeclared and complicated. Back at Hogwarts they sat next to each other in classes, went to nearly every Hogsmeade trip together, and shared more than kisses in broom closets or in each other's dorms. Ever since the wedding they barley spent any time together, but technically they were still together. Marlene had tried to plan countless dates, but he was always busy and very unenthusiastic.
"We've never discussed marriage. But the answer to your question is a resounding no. And yes, Alec wants to join his father in his Accountant work at the Ministry," Marlene replied as the waiter placed a garden salad in front of her. She raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"I ordered for you ahead of time, dear. And good thing too considering how much weight you've put on. A woman should be petite."
Marlene tried to convince herself that wasn't hurt by the frivolous comment. She was quite aware of the fact that she had gained about a stone since graduation, but to be honest she didn't mind. She saw her muscular body make a drastic change after giving up on the extensive and suicide-inducing Quidditch workouts. She was happy to trade her previously lithe body for a more curvaceous, womanly one. Her chest never looked better, or bigger she thought. But negative remarks about her appearance miffed her nonetheless.
Her grandmother continued. "So you're not to get married, " she repeated. "But I heard from your father that you also wish to become an Auror like himself? A noble profession..."
Marlene beamed at the rare compliment, but was stricken when she realized that she might not be able to ever earn that title. At least not in the next few years she thought glumly.
"For a man," Mildred added uncompromisingly.
Marlene sighed. Internalized misogyny was really not cute, she thought as she reluctantly ate her salad. But she knew there was no use arguing with delusion.
"But I don't wish to discuss that any further. For some reason my son encourages your career choice and refuses to see sense. Your father is very stubborn, Marlene," Mildred said scornfully. "Your brother Daniel no doubt wishes to follow in your footsteps."
"Yes, he's very passionate about helping," Marlene vaguely alluded.
For the most part Marlene's pureblooded family had very lax views on blood purity. McKinnons were not considered "blood-traitors" like the Potters or fanatical purists like the Blacks. Most of them were quite carefree about the issue to be completely honest. The only members of the family who had strong opinions about it were Marlene, her father Manfred, and her younger brother Danny. Naturally all three opposed pure-blood supremacy and believed in equality. Even all of Marlene's friends were either muggle-born or half-bloods, with the exception of James. Most pure-bloods were snobby and vile. Except for James. And Sirius, Marlene added in her thoughts.
"Yes well enough about that. It bores me. Now tell me more about what diet you plan to go on...," Mildred trailed off as Marlene prepared for a lunch less enjoyable then a dementor's kiss.
