Part 2: I Tell Katsa and Po My Story
Taking two of my father's men's horses, me riding with Katsa, we continued into the mountain forest toward a stream. Both Katsa and Po's clothes were covered with the soldier's blood. We had to walk through a stream, you know, as I had, so as not to leave prints in the newfallen snow. I was still afraid of Po, just a little. He sounded like my mother and had a lot of rings like my mother, and even looked a bit like my mother- other than his eyes. Most men were never as kind to me as this Graced Leinid cousin of mine. I wasn't used to it, and I found myself stiffening every time Po came near me.
After climbing up a huge cliff, we made camp behind a big rock with a lake far below us. That was when Po asked me a question that made me want to hug him: "Are you hungry, cousin?" I was quietly sitting on a rock, holding my knife for all I was worth. I never complained of anything. Mother told me never to complain, to bear every trial with a patient heart. So even though I was so hungry I could hardly stand it, I said nothing, and only watched my cousin pull out bits of meat and an apple from his pack. I kept my eyes trained on the food, I couldn't look away from it, so hungry was I.
"When did you last eat?" Po wanted to know. He set some of the meat in front of me. It was nearly killing me to be polite and wait to eat it until I answered his question.
"Some berries this morning," I said
"And before that?" Po prompted.
"Yesterday- yesterday morning," I replied, reaching for the meat. I couldn't help it any longer!
"Slowly," Po instructed, but I hardly heard him. My teeth had already sunk into the meat and had torn off a huge chunk. "Slowly, or you'll be sick." Obediently, I slowed my chewing and took smaller bites. The food wasn't going anywhere, I told myself.
"I'll climb down to the gully and find us some meat. The sun will set soon- I'll take a knife, Po, if you'll keep a lookout for me." Katsa said. I found it a bit odd, that Po had all the weapons. Not that Katsa needed any, but it seemed to me that Katsa didn't usally travel without at least one knife or dagger and a quiver of arrows and a bow on her back. And it wasn't fair for her to make Po carry all the weapons. I'd offer to help Po, but I could barely lift my own knife as it was. But I let that thought pass. I was hungry. Katsa and Po discussed the precautionary measures Katsa should take while hunting, but I put all my attention towards that wonderful meat.
Later, Katsa returned with a whole string of quail, plucked and gutted as the sun sank behind the mountains. Po was feeding the fire with some of the branches I'd gathered with him after I'd finished off my meat. I lay in the corner, clutching my knife, hovering between the place between sleep and wake, leaning more towards sleep. Sleep…
The smell of cooking meat woke me. Or maybe it was the sound of the meat sizzling on the fire. Or maybe the light of the fire or the crackling of it. In any case, something woke me, and I went to sit with Katsa and Po near the fire, which was blessedly warm, still holding my knife.
"I'll teach you how to use that knife," Katsa said, repeating her promise. "When you're feeling better, how to defend yourself, how to maim a man- we can use Po as a model." That made smile a little, and I looked at Katsa shyly, then quickly back to my lap.
"Wonderful!" Po laughed. "It's quite boring, really, the way you beat me to death with your hands and feet, Katsa. It'll be refreshing to have you coming at me with a knife!"
I glanced back up at Katsa. "Are you the better fighter?"
"Yes," she said.
"Far better," Po added. "There's no comparison."
"But Po has other advantages. He's stronger, he sees better in the dark…"
"But in a fight, always bet on the lady, Bitterblue, even in the dark," Po warned me playfully.
I watched the quail roasting and pulled my blanket tighter. "I would like to have a Grace that allowed me to protect myself." No one said anything, and I figured now was as good a time as ever to tell my story. "The king wants me." I said.
"What for?" Katsa asked.
I made myself small, just thinking about Leck made me feel small. "He has a Grace. My mother told me so. She told me he can manipulate people's minds with his words so that they believe whatever he says, even if they hear it from someone else's mouth, even if it's a rumor he started that's spread far beyond him. His power weakens as it spreads, but it does not disappear. She told me he's the wrong kind of man to be born with a Grace like this. He makes toys of small and weak people. He likes to cause pain. My mother had suspected all of this. From time to time, ever since she first knew him. But he's always been able to confuse her into forgetting about it. Until a few months back, when he began to take a particular interest in me." I never knew what he wanted me for; my father's always been fond of the company of girls, but I don't understand why. I told Katsa and Po how he cut animals with knives and tortured them, how he kept them alive and made them feel pain, then kills them. How Leck told us he'd captured Grandfather Tealiff and was going to torture him, how Leck was going to kill Grandfather right in front of my mother. How we'd thought it was just Leck lying, but when the letters came from Leinid, we knew he was really missing.
"Grandfather was neither tortured nor killed. He's safe now." Po assured me.
"He could have just taken me!" I cried. My voice broke shrilly. "He has an entire army that would never defy him! But he didn't. He has this sick patience. It didn't interest him to force us- he wanted to hear us say yes." I said angrily. I told how my mother barricaded us into her rooms, about the little girl my age with the cuts on her cheek that couldn't walk right, about how we climbed down from the tower using our bedsheets and about my mother killing a guard with the knife I held, and about her twisted ankle.
I grasped the knife and spoke bitterly, "If I were trained in archery, or if I could use a knife, perhaps I could have killed my father when this all started."
"I'll kill him tomorrow, before he does anything more." It was not Katsa who spoke those words, but Po.
"Why you? Why not her, if she's the better fighter?" I asked, confused.
"Leck's Grace doesn't work on me- it works on Katsa. This we learned today, when we met him in the fields. I must be the one to kill him. He can't manipulate me or confuse me as he can Katsa." Po said, then offered me a piece of quail on a stick.
I looked at him, confused, "It's true Leck's Grace lost some of its power over me when he hurt my mother, and it lost some of its power over my mother when she threatened me, but why does it not work on you?"
"I can't say. He's hurt a lot of people. There may be many for whom his Grace is weak, but none likely to admit it, for fear of his vengence."
"How did he hurt you?" I wasn't entirely convinced. I got the feeling there was more to his Grace than he was telling.
"He kidnapped my grandfather. He murdered my aunt. He threatens my cousin." Po said. I guess it made sense, and I turned my attention to the quail in my hand.
"He'll be camping in the forest tonight. He'll be looking for me again tomorrow. I don't know how you'll find him."
"We found you, didn't we?"
"He'll have his personal guard with him- they're all Graced. I'll tell you what you'll be facing." It was clear if I never wanted anyone else to go through what I had, that Po would be the one to kill Leck. And he'd need all the help he can get.
