In Too Deep

XX

A bead of sweat dropped from Ron's forehead as he inspected the silverware in front of him. He was sitting at a table covered in fine silk tablecloth and topped with an array of several eating utensils. Multiple types of forks, spoons, and knives were arranged in front of him like a taunt. Ron may have had a flair for the culinary arts, but he didn't realize that one needed more than a single fork or knife to eat a meal. However, Bonnie had insisted they spend their Sunday evening at Chez Couteaux, which apparently did not go by Ron's eating philosophy.

The waiter arrived at their table and placed Ron's appetizer in front of him as Bonnie stared across the table in mild distaste at her date for the evening. "Will there be anything else, sir?" asked the waiter.

"Yes, my good man, do you have any coloring books?" Ron gulped as he noticed the withering glare that Bonnie shot across the table. "On second thought, I'm good!"

He picked a spoon at random and began to sip his soup, noticing from Bonnie's expression that the spoon had probably been the wrong choice for the job. Bonnie snapped her table napkin in the air to unfold it, and then laid it carefully across her lap. She watched her dinner companion's sips rapidly change into gulps as he wolfed down the rest of his soup.

"Alright Ron, what's the plan here? You're just trying to make Kim jealous or something?"

"Well, kind of. Maybe not jealous. But once she sees me spending time with you, she'll regret spending so much time with Josh."

"I thought you said her first date with Josh was a couple nights ago?"

"Yeah, but I can already see what's going to happen. All she did after her date was talk about him, and she blew me off today to spend more time with him. This is just like with Walter Nelson! She was obsessed with him."

Ron remembered how Walter Nelson had monopolized Kim's attention. It was a good thing about the braces incident, because otherwise Kim might have stopped hanging out with Ron entirely. Kim always had a weak spot for the good looking types. Ron remembered Walter looking vaguely like a twelve year old version of Brad Pitt with braces. Yes, that was exactly what he looked like, Ron told himself darkly.

He shook off the unpleasant memories and noticed Bonnie looking slightly bored at the other end of the table. "To be honest, I'm kinda surprised you agreed to this," he said.

Bonnie shrugged. "Anything that makes Kim Possible angry is cool with me. Anyway, this is an excuse to get out of my house."

"Why do you want to get out of your house?"

"Family issues. I just don't want to be around my sisters. They've been such a pain lately... Lonnie is getting married soon and Connie just got a new promotion at her fashion magazine job. They never let you hear the end of it."

"Sorry about that."

Bonnie began to feel a little uncomfortable about her openness with Ron. She had not intended to tell him about her personal life – they certainly weren't close – but Ron did not seem like someone who would use it against her. Still, she was surprised at how quickly she had let her defenses down.

"Thanks," Ron said to the waiter as he returned with the main courses and placed them on the table. Bonnie had ordered a steak, rare, while Ron had gotten lamp chops with mint sauce and a side of saffron rice. He dipped a piece of lamb in the sauce and took a bite.

"Sauce is alright," he mumbled through a mouthful of lamb. "Could use a little less lime juice, though."

Bonnie felt a strange thrill at his condescending tone. "What are you, some kind of cook?"

"I'm pretty good at it, yes."

"Interesting." Bonnie would not have pegged Ron as a good cook. He was always eating at Bueno Nacho with Kim, after all. She took a bite of her steak. She liked the meat red, almost raw. There was something about red meat that made her feel, well... carnivorous. As she stared across the table at Ron, she wondered whether what other surprises the loser might be hiding.

XX

Kim walked up to a wrought-iron gate that was placed between two rows of hedges bordering the road. She opened the gate and followed a slate path through the yard to a small, cozy house built from red brick. She was dressed casually but tastefully in black pants, a light green short sleeved shirt, and her favorite choker. She had no coat with her since the weather was a bit warmer than it had been on her first date with Josh, and she was not in any immediate danger of disappearing from embarrassment.

A light turned on in the entryway of the house as she rang the doorbell. The door opened, revealing a somewhat pudgy older man with a mustache and glasses. "Ah, you must be Josh's new lucky lady!" exclaimed the man. "Come on in!"

"Hi! Nice to meet you Mr. Mankey."

"Josh is down in the basement waiting for you. Would you like anything to drink?"

"No, that's alright. I think I'll go right down!"

Kim walked down the carpeted basement stairs and saw Josh sitting on a couch in front of a television set. The basement looked like a cozy place to hang out – there was a foosball table, an acoustic guitar that sat atop a stand in the corner, and several easels set up in various places around the room, some holding paintings. One corner of the room also held a bed and a bookcase.

"Hey Kim, welcome to casa de Josh!"

"Hey Josh! Thanks for inviting me over. Do you sleep down here?"

"Yeah, this is my room, basically. I figured there was more room down here to relax and put up my paintings."

"Spankin'!" Kim walked over to an easel that held a particularly colorful painting. "Why don't you show me some of these. What's this one?"

Josh got up from the couch and stood next to her, inspecting the painting. "Well, I wanted to capture the essence of romantic feeling in this one. It's kind of abstract, impressionistic I guess. I always say, it's not about painting something you see, so much as it's about painting the human experience. You know what I mean?"

Kim nodded, although she wasn't really paying as much attention to the painting as she was to the sound of Josh's voice. "Oh yeah. I know exactly what you mean."

XX

Shego flew at a low altitude over the Amazon rainforest in her green and black mini-jet, looking for a suitable place to land. Her GPS indicator showed her the location of the valley she was looking for – apparently, the flowers only grew in remote sections of the Amazon, most commonly in one particular valley – but the rainforest canopy was far too thick for her to land anywhere she wanted. She peered out of the glass cockpit window, observing the tree line below her, and after a few moments she noticed it stop abruptly and shift to a relatively flat landscape. This would do well for a landing, she thought.

As the jet began to touch down, a billowing plume of ashy smoke was thrown up into the air. Shego climbed out of the cockpit and removed her helmet, letting her black hair spill down to her waist. The ground she had landed on was clear for a good distance around, but she saw that it was dark, dotted with various tree stumps and broken branches. The landscape looked like it had been burned – perhaps there was some kind of recent forest fire.

Shego groaned as she began to trek towards the tree line of the rainforest that had not been affected by the fire. The things she did for Drakken were unbelievable. When Drakken told her that his embarrassment spray was created from a flower called the Aurora Orchid found in the Amazon, and that he did not have the antidote with him, Shego had been incredulous. She seriously considered whether or not his disappearing act was such a bad thing. Here she was, walking into a rainforest and hoping some random native could clue her in. She had better be getting a big bonus check this year.

As Shego traipsed across the barren expanse of land, she noticed some activity along the tree line where the jungle began. It looked as if several small fires were in fact still raging, surrounded by people yelling in a language Shego did not recognize. A mechanical noise caught Shego's attention; she noticed a flatbed truck driving towards her from another direction, gaining ground rapidly. A group of men stood in the back of the truck, shouting things she did not understand, but they seemed to be directed at her. Several of them had guns.

Shego suddenly realized why the burned out clearing was there. She had landed right into a slash and burn operation. Probably to create farmland or gather wood and charcoal for the market. Probably illegal, judging by the angry people with guns. Shego considered lighting her fists into flame as the truck pulled to a stop beside her, but based on the heavy armament pointed in her face, it looked like the new arrivals were not interested in giving her any openings.

"Nice day, isn't it boys?" She said as she raised her arms in surrender.

The truck driver barked a command in what Shego assumed was Portuguese, and one of the passengers in the truck's bed pulled out a pistol. He aimed it at Shego's chest and fired a red dart into her flesh. Shego looked down at the dart in surprise. That's just not playing fair, she thought. Her eyes rolled back into her head as she collapsed to the ground.

XX

Ron Stoppable would normally have been enjoying the bright summer morning as he rode his scooter down the familiar street to his best friend's house, but he was starting to feel a little apprehensive. Was this whole weird arrangement with Bonnie such a good idea? He was still upset with Kim, but he hadn't really planned out exactly what he wanted to get out of any of this. He just had the vague intention of getting under Kim's skin, but perhaps he was overreacting to the whole Kim and Josh sitch.

"What do you think, Rufus?"

The naked mole rat looked up from the scooter's basket, where he had been poking his head out from the side and enjoying the breeze that brushed past his whiskers. "Um, dunno?" he squeaked. Rufus sometimes found himself asked to respond to his owner's private thoughts, but unfortunately the naked mole rat was not a master of telepathy.

"I mean, pretending to go out with Bonnie to get back at Kim. You think it's a good idea?"

Rufus rolled his eyes and adjusted his tiny crash helmet as he went back to enjoying the ride.

They finally arrived at the Possible home, and Ron knocked on the door. He was cutting it a little close today, but they still had a few minutes to spare before they'd be late to school. There was a long pause after his knock with no answer, and he rang the doorbell nervously. Was he running more late than he thought?

The door opened and revealed the face of Kim's father, James Possible. "Hello, Ronald!"

"Hey Mr. Dr. P. Is Kim ready to go?"

James frowned. "She already left. Josh came over so he could walk to school with her this morning. Did she not tell you?"

Ron felt like he had just gotten smacked with a two by four.

XX

Kim stood next to her open locker and watched Josh walk away, still floored by the kiss he had just planted on her lips. The way his bottom moved when he walked was hypnotic. Monique would say that boy has a bodacious bottom, Kim told herself. She dropped a textbook on the ground, which she had been in the process of trying to dislodge from behind her locker terminal when Josh distracted her. As she got back up with the textbook in hand and closed her own locker, she noticed Ron's locker door hanging open down the hall. Obscured by the locker door was a familiar pair of loose pants and the bottom of a red sweatshirt. Kim smiled. She hadn't talked to Ron on Sunday, so she had to tell him everything that had happened since then!

She ran down the hall excitedly. "Hey Ron, you wouldn't believe the day I-"

Kim skidded to a halt as Ron's locker door closed. Ron himself turned around at the sound of her voice and revealed who he had been speaking with.

"Oh, hey there K. I was just having a little chat with Ronnie here!"

"That's nice," Kim said flippantly, not noticing Bonnie's tone. "I need to talk to Ron about my hot weekend date with Josh Mankey now, if you don't mind. Don't you have somewhere to be, Bonnie?"

Bonnie's mouth widened into a wolfish grin as she grabbed Ron's arm with her own and leaned against him. "As a matter of fact, yes. Ron is going to walk me to my next class. What a gentleman!"

Kim's mouth, along with her unfortunate textbook, dropped like a stone.

"That's right KP," nodded Ron. "Me and Bonnie had a hot weekend ourselves, you know. Maybe sometime I can tell you all about it!"

Ron suddenly leaned over to kiss Bonnie on the mouth. Bonnie's arms stiffened and eyes went wide as she wondered what in the world he was doing; this was definitely not something they had planned on. At the same time, she felt a rush from Ron's unexpected boldness. Maybe the dork was finally breaking out from under Kim's wing. She brought her reaction back to normal and returned the kiss after seeing Kim's infuriated expression.

"What is this, Ron? Is this some kind of joke?"

Ron broke the kiss and stared at his best friend. "Me and Bonnie decided to start going out, KP. I guess I just have a sweet tooth for some Bonbon!"

Bonnie ignored the comment and smirked at Kim. "Maybe Ronnie's tired of being your lackey, Kim. He's ready to move up to the big leagues now. Too bad I can't say the same for you!"

Kim fought back the urge to attack Bonnie right there in the hallway; she knew the minute she did, Barkin would appear out of nowhere and slap her with a suspension. Besides, technically Bonnie hadn't done anything wrong, even though the scene in front of her was wrongsick beyond words. Kim did not understand what was going on. Out of the blue, Ron and Bonnie were a couple? Perhaps the brunette had brainwashed her best friend somehow. Unable to form words, the red-headed cheerleader brushed silently past Ron and Bonnie as she left for her next class.

Bonnie watched in satisfaction as her foe left, defeated. This was getting more interesting by the minute.

XX

In Bonnie's imagination, the lunchroom seemed much more crowded than usual. She watched the chatting students apprehensively. This would be the real test. Nobody had really seen her spending much time with Ron until now, although she didn't know if anyone in the hall had seen their kiss, other than Kim. But now, now she would find out if her scheming was going to work out the way she hoped or backfire on her horrifically.

She thrust her tray of unidentifiable lunch food at Ron. "Hold this for me."

"But I already have a lunch tray!"

"Um, watch me care? Hold one in each hand and follow me!"

Bonnie led Ron across the lunch room to the senior table. She was not a senior, but her status at the school was such that she got away with sitting there. Several of her cheerleading teammates were at the table, including her friend Tara, and a couple of well-built jocks were allowed to sit with them for decorative purposes.

Bonnie heard a gasp rise up from the lunch room as her fellow students noticed the strange couple walking towards the senior table, followed by an uneasy silence. Every pair of eyes in the room followed Bonnie and the nervous looking boy trailing behind her with a tray in each hand. One particular pair of green eyes were trying their best to light Bonnie on fire just by the power of their stare. Bonnie smirked as she walked by Kim and Josh, who were sitting at a lunch table with Monique; she could practically taste the anger that her rival was radiating.

The senior table was completely quiet. Its occupants watched in confusion as Bonnie pushed a jock aside to make room for two chairs, and then signaled for Ron to set the trays down. She delicately sat down at the table and brushed her hair back, ignoring the expressions around her. Ron sat down beside her with an uneasy grin on his face. "Hey guys, what's going on!"

"Not much Ron!" Tara replied with a smile.

One of the jocks, appraising the situation, worked up enough courage to speak. "What's going on, Bonnie? What is this dork doing here? Isn't that where Brick usually sits?"

Bonnie glared. "Brick will not be sitting here anymore. We broke up" - at this comment, several girls rolled their eyes - "and I've decided to give Ron Stoppable the incredible privilege of being my new boyfriend."

No one was sure what to say. Tara thought it was one of the more freakish situations she could imagine, and she was bothered by the fact that Bonnie knew she had something of a crush on Kim's goofy friend until quite recently. Still, it could be worse.

"Well, I'm happy that Ron is sitting at our table!" she said in a sunny tone.

The other occupants of the table did not seem to share Tara's opinion. "I don't know about this," said the same jock who had asked about Brick. "If we let that dork sit here, aren't we opening the bloodgates?"

"Floodgates," Ron corrected.

"Whatever, dork. What will stop Ron Reiger from deciding he's senior table material? Then all of a sudden we have two Rons here! How are we going to tell them apart? Maybe I need another helping of tater tots, and I say 'Ron, get me more tater tots', and then they both get me tater tots and I have too many tater tots and then Barkin is all up in my face for wasting tater tots and-"

"Shut up!" Bonnie screeched. The jock froze in terror. Bonnie looked around the table and realized the precarious situation she was in. The sudden change was too abrupt for them; if she wasn't careful, she might end up with a food chain mutiny on her hands.

"Look, I'm going out with Ron because it bothers the bejeesus out of Kim. This is just temporary. Anybody have a problem with it, and I'll make sure you're sitting at the chess team's table. Got it?" Bonnie's sharp fingernails tapped on the table in a catlike manner. Everyone at the table nodded meekly, except Tara.

Ron felt a sudden sense of shame as he noticed Tara looking at him and Bonnie. The blond cheerleader's deep blue eyes seemed to be tinged with disappointment. Ron began to wonder if he was in over his head.