Jane was up early. Far too early to have gotten a good night's rest but so was she.
"Jane it's recommended you get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, and you should be laying down!"
"Don't need it, don't want too..."She grumbled.
Jane was hunched over her counter resting her head on her hand while the other nursed a cup of coffee. Her hair dropped around her but she didn't need to see the blood shot eyes to know how tired she was.
"What was it this time?"
She slid into the chair beside her and rested a reassuring hand upon her shoulder. Jane groaned and moved away from her hand.
"Maur…" she whined. "It's too early. I just want coffee."
"I'm sorry Jane I just want to help."
"Then let me drink my coffee…."
"Fine." Her response was short and clipped. Jane was always grumpy first thing in the morning but today she was miffed by it. She was only trying to help!
"I'll be in the living room if you need me..."
"Kay…" Jane didn't even lift her head.
She sat ion Jane's couch intending on reading one the books she brought along with her but continued to worry about Jane.
Why wouldn't Jane talk to her. Obviously there was something bothering her. Perhaps she was suffering from some sort of stress induced misanthropy. No that didn't sound right…She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. What she need right now was a nice cup of green tea. Surely Jane had that?
She started the kettle when she heard a thump coming from Jane's room.
"Jane?"
"Christ Maura!"
Jane nearly tripped over herself as she yanked down the shirt she had been putting on.
"Sorry!"
Despite her best attempts she still blushed. Jane grumbled something and dropped down onto her bed.
"Have you eaten anything today?"
"No I wasn't hungry."
"Well you have to eat something."
She could see the protest forming from the detective but one look let her know that wasn't an option.
"Fine."
Minutes later they were in the kitchen and she was setting a warm bowl in front of Jane.
"Maura what is this?"
"It's quinoa with milk, cinnamon and apples. It's like oatmeal but better. You'd be surprised."
She smiled at Jane and sat beside her.
"Why didn't you just make oatmeal? And when did I get quinoa?"
"You're out of oatmeal…And I left a box in your pantry from the last time we went shopping together. You never even opened it. Quinoa is the only grain that's a complete protein you'll need it for your recovery-"
"Stop." Jane suddenly growled.
"I'm sorry?" She tried to keep the hurt from her voice.
"You're smothering me more than my mother! I don't need your coddling or your constant reminders of my condition!"
"But Jane I care about you and I hate to see you impeding your own healing-"
"See there you go again!"
Jane pushed off her seat far too fast for what was recommended for her injury and tried to storm off. She wasn't going to let her. Not this time.
"Jane Rizzoli!" she snapped. "You are not leaving until we talk about this. "
She grabbed Jane's arm and was met with an alarmed expression.
"Now let's go and sit down."
Jane looked down at the hand still gripping tightly onto her. She never recalled ever being so rough with the brunette and immediately released her.
"I'm sorry for grabbing you like that…but I'm feeling so closed off right now Jane. Why won't you talk to me?"
Jane's eyes softened and she dropped her head.
"Maur…..I don't know how too."
She was touching Jane's arm again but this time to guide her to the couch in the room over. Jane let her but she could not celebrate the victory just get.
"Would it help if I started?"
Jane nodded and they took a seat, her hand moving to hold Jane's.
"You've been very unkind to me Jane and I've been rationalizing it so that my conscious is willing to forgive you for that but I'm afraid there's only so much my brain will pass over. I just want to know why? Is it me? Have I done something to hurt you? You know how I am with social cues -"
"No Maura it's not you…I'm not trying to hurt you I promise. I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed right now."
"That's perfectly understandable and I want to help you with that. What's got you so agitated?"
Jane shifted uncomfortably, she looked to their hands, the wall, the floor anywhere to avoid her searching gaze.
"Please Jane…" she gently massaged the back of her hand with her thumb. Jane's eyes filled with tears and from the looks of it they were long overdue.
"Oh Jane…" She pulled her into her arms still staying conscious of her injury and held her friend. "Oh honey." Jane gripped onto the back of her shirt, wrinkling the finely pressed material but twisting her heart even more. "What's wrong?"
"Me. I'm what's wrong." she said into her shoulder.
"No. That's not true."
"You don't understand Maura." More tears soaked into her shirt but it didn't matter.
"I'm trying to but you aren't saying anything."
Jane wasn't going to say anymore to her, no matter how hard she pried her for answers. Whatever this was Jane wanted to deal with it on her own but she would be there when she was ready to talk.
Jane's tears slowed in her arms. They came to a stop altogether after a minute or two. Jane pulled back, wiping at her eyes with an ashamed expression. Jane didn't need to be embarrassed by her tears. They all cried. It was an involuntary reaction triggered by-
"Maura I'll eat the quinoa."
She laughed. Of all the things for Jane to say in this moment she chose that.
"Come on then, it's getting cold." She smiled fondly at Jane but Jane never returned the smile.
The brunette walked into the kitchen like she had been put on death row. Jane ate wordlessly, which was abnormal behavior for the brunette, but she ate the bowl down to the last spoonful.
"I take it, it wasn't as bad as you imagined?"
Jane picked up the bowl and put it in her sink, shrugging with her question.
"It wasn't terrible."
Jane moved into the living room, picking up the remote to her TV.
She didn't feel that her company was wanted any longer so she left Jane to herself, heading outside for some fresh air. She would use the alone time to reflect.
