And here we have it chapter 2. Watch out for mistakes.
Special thanks to Aqua Burst 07 for beta reading this.
Yeah, I did kinda went back in forth with Genderbent!Mabel's name back in the first. His name is Marble, and thats it.
Thanks for the ideas randomfandom, maybe I could use them in later chapters.
Don't own Gravity Falls.
"Hey Dipper, wake up."
Soos gently shake the apparently passed out Dipper lying on the floor stirring her awake.
"Huh, wait-what?" the twelve-year old-groaned. Opening her eyes, she saw Soos kneeling down with a worried expression on his face.
"You okay? You were out for like a minute there," the handyman asked concern evident on his voice.
Suddenly remembering the situation, Dipper quickly stands up and grabs his shoulders.
"Soos, oh my god! You've gotta help me!" Dipper asked, shaking him to emphasize the seriousness of her dilemma. "Marble-has-this-new-friend-who-also-happens-to-be-a-zombie-they-met-at-this-cemetery-I-mean-where-else-would-you-find-one-"
"Whoa, freno dude breath, stay calm. Take a seat," he said, placing a small pink chair in front of her. Dipper looks anything but calm.
"Soos! I think my brother is trying to hook me up with a zombie!" she blurted out, pacing back and forth.
"Hm. How many brains didja see the guy eat?" Soos asked.
"Zero," the girl replied with a sigh, looking down.
"Look, dude; I believe you. I'm always noticing weird stuff in this town. Like the mailman? Pretty sure that dude's a werewolf. But ya gotta have evidence. Otherwise, people will think you're a major cuckoo clock," the handyman advised.
"As always, you're right. Thanks."
"My wisdom is both a blessing and a curse."
"Soos! The portable toilets are clogged again!" Stan called out from downstairs.
"I am needed elsewhere."
With that, the handyman packed his tools and leaves for another task at hand.
Finally being alone, Dipper composes herself thinking her next course of action. Did her brother just make friends with a zombie? Is she just being paranoid? She really has no idea any more...
Dipper walked into her room, pulling her duffel bag beneath her bed. Opening it, she searches through the contents and pulled out one of her old favorites - SDG 465 camcorder. Dipper stared at the device; she might as well just stall him.
She makes her way outside and sees her brother and Norman, still in the same place where they had that outright disturbing conversation minutes ago.
"Hey there sis!" Marble waved at his sister.
"Hey there guys! Hey Norman." She smiled, gaining Norman's attention. "You know, I haven't know that much about you apart from being my brother's new buddy here. How about you and me have a walk around town?" She gestured outside, ignoring the growing grin on her brother's face. "It'll be just you and me for a nice little chit chat."
She finished nervously laughing; honestly, she has no idea why she was feeling bashful. He's hiding something, she can tell, and the only way to find it out is to examine him close and personal, without Marble around of course. She seen 'Marble The Matchmaker' at work. Though, he's quite a pro. She seen a lot number of happy couples courtesy of him at school. She'll stall both of them for a while before he'll hatch up some convoluted plan that would set her up on a date surrounded with Muppets and glitter.
"You're asking him out, sis?! That's so awesome!" Marble cheered, grinning.
"What? No!" Dipper denied, blushing. "I just wanna have a friendly chat, that's all!"
"Oh, uh, um, sure." Norman said, stretching out the last part. Both boys were exchanging what Dippper thinks supposed to be some sort hidden message only between them through exaggerated eye movements. "Lead the way," the teenager told her, eyes still locked on Marble's.
Now, to see who this guy really is.
Marble watched his friend walk away with his sister with barely contained happiness. Sure it wasn't a date, but it's a start. He snaps his fingers as an idea formed on his head, he recalls her sister packing her old video cam in her duffel bag back at home. He bolts his way to their room, this is one moment he can't miss recording.
_ZOMBIE TRAIT # 1-IMMUNITY TO TRAUMATIC INJURY_
"And I'm still moist."
Okay, that's it! She'll never let Norman take the lead of the conversation again!
Though, she would admit, they did have a decent conversation earlier. He told her where he lived - Norway, and he likes everything Dipper likes. Wow, Marble is one heck of a blabbermouth. It's strange, he talks way more 'normal' when her brother is around, but being alone with her turns him to a skittish mute. Not that she has a problem with it.
She needs to think of something. Based on her stock knowledge regarding zombie lore, locomotion and appetite for human flesh is the only thing its brains function for. The rest of the nervous system is just as good as dead, including pain receptors. But how could she pull this off? She needs a way to hit him something hard and painful, without doing something stupid like chucking a baseball right to his face.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a baseball went right to his face.
"Ow!"
Nope, zombies don't yelp in pain. Heck, they don't yelp in pain standing perfectly still as if the body doesn't care.
But that doesn't make him any more human, if anything it makes him any more less of it, she mentally crosses out trait # 2 out of her checklist.
"Are you okay?" she asked, sensing the genuine pain in his voice.
Norman cleared his throat. "Nothin' you should worry about," he said in an overly smooth voice, obviously trying to look cool in front of her.
Dipper rolled her eyes as they continued walking. There's still more to check.
_ZOMBIE TRAIT # 2-ABSENCE OF COGNITIVE FUNTION_
Though, it might be a stretch, considering how 'locomotives' and a penchant for creepiness is the only thing off about Norman, she's not taking any chances. Zombies have impaired sense of hearing, eyesight and smelling. Fumbling through her vest, she feels her air horn-Marble usually uses on her when she was reading-on her left pocket. Mentally patting herself for being prepared, she leads both of them to a nearby park.
Dipper takes her time enjoying the afternoon air before reaching into her secret weapon in her pockets, never taking it out she readies her finger in the trigger. But someone beats her to it, a high pitch noise erupts in the air subduing nearby dogs.
"Oh god! Make it stop!" he wailed, though he isn't clutching his ears. Instead, he keeps wiggling around as if someone lit him on fire. She could feel every eye's on the park on them; she drags a flailing Norman off to a nearby bench.
The next few moments is always the same routine, Dipper tries something means another dose of pain for Norman, though they did play some games in the playground here and there, the only enjoyable part was Norman pushing the swing for her. Realizing this is going nowhere, she resorts to plan B. Subtly leading them to the forest, it's time for some one on one confrontation once and for all.
_THE MYSTERY ''HACK - LIVING ROOM_
Stan laughed, sitting on his lazy chair. His great nephew came barging in earlier ranting something about something only another Marble would understand. He simply ignores him, that is until the boy whips out a video cam and connects it to his TV, rudely interrupting his afternoon nap.
"Hey kid! Can't you see the time? Lunch Break ends in a few minutes." He moves to stop whatever the kid is doing.
"Grunkle Stan! You need to see this!" he told the old man.
"Okay, fine! Ten minutes!"
The boy nods.
A few minutes later the conman burst out laughing. Norman going scorpion, Norman slipping on a ball, pretty much everything with Norman and suffering in it, or as what he sees.
"Kid, these are priceless, where do you even find these?" he asked. "No don't answer it, I meant it rhetorically."
The conman stands up and makes his way to the kitchen to gets himself a drink.
Marble sits comfily in the chair, taking the remote to browse for more videos. Okay, that was pretty easy. All they need to do is getting to know each other, and then Bam! Dippy's got herself a date. Quickly, he presses rewind before his eyes nearly popped out of his head.
Norman pushed an incredibly bored Dipper in the swings, looks pretty normal. It wasn't until Dipper swings back for the third time with more force, hitting Norman straight in the forehead and knocking his head clean off. Norman's body crawls grabbing its head before placing it back, just in time for Dipper to turn her head around to check him.
"See! it's nothing, my head didn't come off." Norman said.
Dipper just stares at him in confusion.
"Oh no, Dippy! What-do-I-do-what-do-I-do-what-do-I-do!?" he started to panic, clutching his hair.
He paces back and forth around the living room. Okay, he can do this. He can save her! He can do this! Think, think, think... what would Dipper do? ...She would panic for a few more minutes then ask advise from Soos ...oh, right!
He made his way outside, spotting Soos tuning up the golf cart.
"Soos! I need your help!" he yelled, running towards the handy man.
"Sup hambone!" Soos waved at his friend.
"Have you seen Dipper around?" he asked, stopping right front of him to catch his breath.
"Um, actually, I think she went to that creepy opening in the forest near the slope right there," Soos said, pointing him the direction.
"Thanks Soos! Can I borrow the cart? Just this real quick."
"Sure dude, here." He tossed Marble the keys, who caught them with ease. "Is this about Norman?"
"Umm, yeah, how did you know?" Marble asked him in confusion.
"Dude, me and your sister thinks that that summer buddy of yours is a zombie."
"Oh crap! Soos, I think you're right! I just saw his head came off in this Dipper's cam! I've gotta find her fast!" he mounts the cart and revs up the engine.
"Here dude, incase for the zombie." Soos handed him a shovel, followed by a bat. "And this is in case you see a piñata."
"I'm coming for ya sis!" he yelled, driving off to the forest.
_FORESTS_
Dipper and Norman stood in the middle of a clearing in the forest, neither the two of them saying a word.
"I—"both of them blurted out, once again silencing both of them.
"It's okay, you can go first." Dipper said.
She's really waiting for this very moment to finally ask him dead on for the truth, but she had a faint feeling Norman would just actually spill the beans right here right now.
Norman nodded. "Um, now that we've got to know each other, there's something I should tell you."
"Ok, sure dude."
The interrogation can wait, this looks important. Dipper, suddenly, has this nagging feeling she's gonna regret this.
"Um, just don't freak out. Okay? Just keep it open minded be cool!"
He zips his jacket wide open, unveiling the truth about him. Dipper's jaw dropped.
Standing right where Norman was once were a bunch of garden gnomes. A total of five, with a pair at the bottom as what might be Norman's legs, another pair standing on top of the first, each holding a long stick with hands in the end, and then there's one standing on top of them as the head. Apart from being the only gnome on top, his beard is a healthy shade of brown, unlike his companions, implying he's younger than the rest of them.
"Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?" the 'head' gnome asked with concern from a now what appears to be his real voice rather than Norman's.
Dipper stared at them, eyes widen with shock.
"R-r-right, I'll explain. So! We're gnomes. First off, get that one out of the way."
She still stared.
"I'm Jeff, and here we have Carson, Steve, Jason and…. I'm sorry, I always forgot your name." Jeff introduced his cohorts completely unaware of the short circuited girl in front of them.
"Shmebulock!"
"Shmebulock! Yes!" Jeff snaps his fingers. "Anyways, long story short, us gnomes have been lookin' for a new queen! Right, guys?" He says glancing at his cohorts, with the rest of the gnomes chanting 'Queen' with hungry looking eyes straight at her. "Heh. So what do you say?" tapping his left foot, making 'Norman' kneel in a proposing fashion. "Will you join us in holy matrignomey? Matri…matri-mo-ny! Blah! Can't talk today!" one of his hands reaches out to offer a beautiful engagement ring. "And your brother says you're smart! I say you're overqualified for this!"
And for the second time this afternoon. Dipper fainted. Strike two.
Jeff just stares at the apparently passed out girl in front if them.
"What do you think that she means guys?" he asked, glancing at his fellow gnomes.
"Yes!" Carson cheered.
"Definitely!" Steve followed.
"Absolutely!" Jason finished.
"Shmebulock!"
_DEEPER IN THE FOREST_
Dipper stirs awake, suddenly feeling an extra layer of clothing and something binding her, eyes still closed, she could hear the voices.
"Get those chairs placed Steve! No, not there Jason, do it exactly like Carson did!"
"Shmebulock."
"I know, Shmebulock."
"Shmebulock."
The last thing she remembers is that she and Norman, talking, and the Gnomes.
Gnomes!
Eyes snapping wide open, the first thing she notices is a.) The White Ruffle Wearing Dress she's wearing b.) They'd tied her up to a post c.) More Gnomes
Dipper let out her loudest scream yet.
_WITH MARBLE_
A loud scream echoed through the forest, one Marble knew too well. "I'm coming, Dippy!"
Steering the cart to the left, he follows the noise till it leads him to the deeper parts in the forest. Once he turned the corner, his eyes widened. His twin sister, who wearing a white dress, was bound on a post screaming? Surrounded by a couple of... Gnomes? Which also happens to be lying in pain on the ground clutching their ears.
Did he just got himself drunk with Marble Juice again? Cause that's the only perfectly legit reason why he's seeing this right now!
When his sister stops screaming, he snaps out of his daze. Some gnome forcefully covers her mouth with a masking tape. She winced, screaming through the tape.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Let go of my sister!" Marble yelled, leaving the cart, shovel in hand.
Jeff turned around to see who the intruder is to be greeted by a very pissed off Marble, who jabbed a shovel right at his face. "Marble, dude! Oh, it's so good to see you! It's me, your buddy!"
This one looks quite familiar, then it dawn to him.
"Norman!?" Marble shrieked, almost dropping his weapon.
Jeff nodded. "You see, no need to get violent here buddies. You see, us gnomes have been searching for a perfect queen for long time. Before it was a tossup between some spoiled, bratty, rich kid or a pair of weirdoes. That is until she came along, and she's perfect! She'll get to marry one thousands of us and become our queen for all eternity."
All the gnomes cheered.
"Mmphf! Mpmmmppph!" Dipper cried out, struggling to break her binds.
"Yeesh Marble, you never told us she packs one heck of a scream." Jeff noted.
"Let Dippy go or else!" Marble threatened, but Jeff was anything but intimidated.
"You think you can stop us, boy? The gnomes are a powerful race! Do not trifle with the-" He was cut off when the twelve-year-old simply swats him away with a shovel, earning a satisfying yelp of pain.
"You lied to me! No way I'm gonna let my sis marry any of you jerks!"
He makes his way to his sister, swatting every gnome either pouncing on him and making a Gollum impression left and right. Quickly, he brought down the shovel, neatly cutting of the bindings, freeing his sister and removing her tape. Dipper quickly takes off the dress like its on fire, silently thankful that she's still wearing her normal clothes underneath.
"Marble! Run!" The twins made a mad dash back to the cart and hightails their way out. Dipper hoped into the driver's side while Marble sat beside him.
"He's getting away with our queen! Gnomes of the forest: ASSEMBLE!" Jeff cried out.
Several gnomes appear and begin to stack up.
After a putting some considerable distance away, Dipper makes a stop.
"Hurry, before they come after us!" Marble said to his sister, who was breathing deep recovering from the initial shock of being nearly betrothed by thousands of old little men few minutes ago.
"I wouldn't worry about it. See their little legs? Those suckers are tiny." Dipper said, smirking.
On cue, the ground shook beneath them, and a huge menacing shadow looming over. Turning around, it's just a lot of gnomes, hundreds of little men stacking up to make one huge terrifying red gnome shaped being.
"Alright right, teamwork, guys. Like we practiced." Jeff yelled on the 'drivers seat'. The monster lets out one huge pants wetting howl.
"Move, MOVE!" Marble yelled.
Dipper didn't need to be told twice. She presses the pedal as hard as she could, accelerating the card mere seconds before a giant hand could have smashed them. The arm breaks, losing a lot of gnomes, which just dutifully returned to their post mere seconds. The giant ran after it.
"Marble, please tell me you've brought the journal with you?" The boy pulls out the journal from his sweater, flipping through pages. He stopped on the right page.
"Gnomes," he reads out loud for his sister to hear. "Little men of the gravity falls forest. Weaknesses: unknown? Aww come on!"
"So much for that." Dipper muttered, and he places the journal back to his sweater.
"Come back with our queen!"
The giant reared one of its hands and swung it, sending a bunch of gnomes on top of the cart. The gnomes bite anything they can touch. Shmebulock tries to reach Dipper, only to be swatted away by her brother.
"For the last time, she's off limits!" Marble shouted.
"Who are you to say that?" Jeff shouts back.
He throws the shovel right at the giants head, missing Jeff by a hair.
"I'm her brother! And I said so, that's why!" Marble declared.
Dipper couldn't help but proudly smile. Alpha twin Marble is one of the rarest things she gets to sees him be. This only cause to anger Jeff more, picking a large tree, he throws is right in front where the cart is heading
"Look out!" Marble yelled.
Dipper swore she felt her heart skipped a beat split second the moment a huge tree was thrown right in front of them. Instinctively pressing her foot on the brake as hard as she could, panic overtaking her as she can't stop swerving the cart left and right driving right only missing the tree by a hair. Though their lucky streak finally came to an end when the cart suddenly overturns, landing them straight to the mystery shack.
"Stay back, butt face!"
With a yell, Marble throws the bat right into the gnomes, only to be swatted away with ease. The giant reaches out grabbing Marble, lifting him up in the air.
"Marble!" Dipper cried out.
Dipper stared up at her brother helpless. Ugh. Where's Grunkle Stan-?
"Look dude, this is your fault! None of this would have happened of you just let us all enjoy the nuptials, but nooooooooo you just have to come barging in and ruin everything!" Jeff berated his former friend with disdain.
"My fault!? You lied to me! Tried to woo my sister under my nose! How could I not do it." Marble lets out a small cry of pain when the grip suddenly tightens.
"Marble, no!"
She's running out of options, no weapons around, nothing to use, except for…Oh, wait!
"Hey Jeff! Yes, yes I will marry you!"
Her brother visibly blanched. "Dipper, don't!"
"Hot diggity dog! Smart move right there, like I said, overqualified. Alright let him go guys." The giant's hand loosens, dropping Marble in the ground, who quickly makes his way to his sister.
"Dip, are you crazy? Marrying these guy's gonna suck major butt I tell you!"
But Dipper just smiles and pats her brother's arm reassuringly. "It's okay bro, I got this."
"Excuse me, coming through." Jeff finally makes his way to the ground, approaching Dipper with a smug look of victory, eagerly presenting her engagement ring; Dipper held's out her hand as Jeff delicately puts it on her. "Bada-bing,bada-bam! Now let's get you back to the forest honey!" he announced.
"You may now kiss the bride." Dipper quipped cheekily, batting her eyelashes, the girliest thing Marble had ever seen his sister do.
"Well, don't mind if I do," he said adjusting his blue pajamas before leaning up to kiss her.
Then, reaching for her vest, Dipper pulls out the Air Horn she'd been carrying all day along, aiming right onto Jeff's face.
"What?" That's all the reaction Jeff could muster before Dipper pressed the button as hard as she could eliciting a very loud noise. The gnome shrieked in agony, behind him. The giant let out a painful howl, crumbling.
Sure, she could have just use it earlier to free her brother, Jeff deserves to have it worse. Close and personal.
"That's for kidnapping me!" Another press. "And that's for lying to my brother." Another press. "And this is for making me wear that stupid girly dress!" She kicked him as hard as she could, sending the poor gnome straight back to the forest.
"I'll get you back for this!" Jeff manage to let out flying mid air.
"Who's giving orders? I need orders!"
"My arms are tired."
With their leader gone, stomped and kicked out to the forest; the once formidable pack of gnomes were reduced to headless chickens, realizing their utter defeat by the hands of two brown haired twins.
"There's more of that came from," Dipper readies the air horn with a grin. The gnomes scrambles back to the forest as fast as their little legs could carry.
And finally, its over.
Both exhausted, mentally and physically, the twins released a tired breath before taking a seat on a nearby bench. For a moment, Marble was carefully choosing his next words before sighing. "Look, sis, I'm sorry. If only I knew Norman was a bunch of gnome jerks."
Dipper simply smiled at her twin. "Look bro, no need to be sorry on everything. Well, for the most part anyway; I've been too caught up on my books too much lately, you were just looking out for me. If anyone's here at fault, it should be me."
"What? No way sis! You were this close to being a gnome queen because of me!"
His twin simply shrugs. "Guess thats what I get for being non-conforming, but hey, we both made mistakes here."
Marble felt the weigh of guilt lift off his chest, only one thing was missing. "Awkward sibling hug?" He offered, opening his arms wide.
"Awkward sibling hug." Dipper smiled and gives her brother one tight hug.
"Pat pat," they said in unison, patting each other in the back.
"Yeesh. You two got hit by a bus or somethin'? Aha!" Stan laughed at his own joke, watching his great nibblings enter the room with disheveled looks. The kids just gave him an unamused stare before making their way upstairs, back at their room for a good nights sleep.
The old man bit his lip, suddenly he felt bad. "Um, hey! W-wouldn't you know it? Um, I accidentaly overstocked some inventory, so, how's about each of you take one item from the gift shop? On the house, y'know?"
Now he gets their attention, "Really?" Marble beamed.
"What's the catch?" Dipper asked suspiciously, a nice Stan is a very dangerous Stan.
"The catch is do it before I change my mind."
Yup, thats Grunkle Stan alright.
Dipper looks around checkng the merchandise, these are not actually that bad. She stops right in front of a mirror, where she can see her messy brown hair littered with leaves, suddenly feeling self conscious, she cleans her head off. From the corner of her eye, she spots a blue trucker's hat with a blue pine tree motif on the white forehead in the corner. Perfect. She puts on the cap and faces herself in the mirror. Hm. That oughta do the trick!
"And I will have a... Grappling Hook!" Marble proclaimed, helding out grappling hook.
"Wouldn't he rather have, like, a bat, or something?" Stan asked Dipper, who shrugged. Typical boys stuff and Marble are two diffrent things.
Testing out his new toy, he fires off the hook into the ceiling before getting pulled up. He somehow latch himself on a support column " Grappling hook!" this kids a natural.
"Fair enough."
_DIPPER&MABEL'S ROOM_
After what might possibly the longest first day of summer in their lives, the twins are finally able to enjoy a good nights sleep on their beds. Marble is still busy spending the excess energy, hopping and playing around with his grappling hook, Dipper, on the other hand, is busy making her very first entry on the journal. She turns around watching her brother with a smile. The journal told her that there was no one in Gravity Falls she could trust. But when you battle a hundred gnomes side-by-side, you realize that they've always got your back.
Marble fires off impaling one of his plushies, reeling it back he turns to his sister with a smile.
"Hey, Marble, could you get the light?"
"I'm on it!" Aiming at his target, he fires knocking the lamp out of the window literally turning the lights out. The twins shared a playful laugh.
"Good night Marble."
"Good night Dip."
"Hey Marble."
"Yeah sis?"
"Marble The Matchmaker's over, right?"
Marble paused.
"Marble!"
Doublechecking to see that the coast is clear, Stan approached the soda machine encoding a combination in the number pad. The machine lits back to life, before moving aside revealing a hidden staircase. Entering, the old man takes one last glance in the gift shop, before he finally disappears, the machine going back to its place.
Whew, now that's a wrap.
Do you like it?
-Yes
-Definitely
-Absolutely
Either way, review plz. As always, constructive criticisms are welcomed. Especially for an amateur like me.
So furthermore.
I kinda went ooc with Marble here, but hey. I'm pretty sure Male Mabel would exert some more "Alpha Twin" when his sister is concerned. He is more than Mabel with testosterone.
Till then, see you next chapter.
