Heathrow International Airport, London, UK...

Music: "God Save The Queen" (traditional version)

Quinn, Jim, Lindy, Jake, Helen, Sandi and Joey have just gotten their luggage and are looking for Daria, Jane and Trent. Quinn searches intently. Her face lights up when she spots them.

"There they are."

Daria, Jane and Trent are by the doors. The rest of the group, led by Quinn, approaches.

Daria deadpanned "Family onslaught imminent."

Quinn walks right up to Daria and hugs her.

"Sis, how are you?"

"I'm good, Quinn."

Quinn releases her sister. As she does Lindy shakes hands with Trent. He looks a little smitten.

She said "Trent, it's been a long time."

Trent, remembering that the last time he saw Lindy was six years earlier, seems at a loss for words. Finally...

"Um, well, yeah, I guess it has."

As he said that he thought She's hotter than I remember.

At the same time Lindy thought He's cuter than I remember.


Outside, a short time later...

There is a limo parked in front of the terminal. The driver is holding a sign that reads "Morgendorffer".

Quinn said "Well, here's our ride."

The driver, speaking with a proper English accent, asked "Are you the Morgendorffers?"

Quinn answered "We are."

"I am Nigel. I've been instructed to take you to your hotel."

They all file into the limo without fanfare.


A hotel near the heart of London, evening...

Music: "God Save The Queen" (Sex Pistols version)

The sleeping arrangements are two to a room. Jake and Helen share one suite, Quinn and Jim share another. The third suite is shared by Daria and Jane while the fourth is shared by Sandi and Joey. Trent and Lindy get the last suite.

Lindy said "Well, Trent, it looks like we're roommates."

Trent looks a little awkward.

"Um, yeah, I guess."

Sandi, meanwhile, gives Joey a lustful look.

She asked "Do you have jet lag?"

Missing the erotic tone in her voice Joey said "A little. Why?"

Sandi seductively whispered in his ear "Because I want to start our stay with some hot sex."

Joey perks right up.

"Let's do it, babe."

They rush to their suite, eager to get unpacked and out of their clothes. Quinn notices this and smiles.

Nothing like a vacation to get the spark back. I hope Jim isn't tired because Sandi's not the only one here who's horny.


Quinn and Jim's suite, a short time later...

The room is more like a studio apartment than a room. It contains one bed and a couch that folds out into a bed. At a table Quinn and Jim are looking at an itinerary.

Quinn said "Maybe tomorrow we should check out Buckingham Palace."

"Sounds like a plan."

There's a knock on the door.

Maid: (VO through door) Room service.

"Come in." said Quinn.

The maid comes in with a cart. She looks like Mrs. Doubtfire. She wheels the cart toward Jim and Quinn. She removes the covers from the trays on top of the cart. One tray has a fried fish fillet and french frys, the other has a bowl of clam chowder and carrots. She places the fish and fries in front of Jim.

"Fish and chips for you, sir."

"Thanks."

The maid places the soup and carrots in front of Quinn.

"Clam Chowder and carrots for the missus."

"Thank you."

Quinn gives the maid a tip.

The maid said "Don't hesitate to call if you or your husband need anything."

Neither Quinn nor Jim mention that they are not married, to their mutual surprise.

Jim said "We will, thanks."

With that, the maid leaves.

Jim said "You didn't correct her when she assumed we were married!?"

"Neither did you." She takes a spoon and eats her soup, "This is pretty good."

Jim speculated "The maid probably thinks this is our honeymoon."

"In that case," Quinn said in a seductive tone "maybe after we eat we should get out of our clothes and into each other."

Jim grins as he knows he's about to get laid.

He asked "Honeymoon sex?"

Quinn nods suggestively.


Sandi and Joey's suite...

Sandi and Joey's clothes are strewn all over the floor while they are in bed. The couple are obviously naked under the sheets. Unfortunately, what was supposed to be hot vacation sex turned out to be an epic fail. Sandi looks very disappointed.

Joey said "Sorry, I guess the jet lag affected me more than I realized."

Sandi doesn't even try to hide how disappointed and unsatisfied she is.

"You couldn't stay hard for even one minute." she practically hissed.

Joey said "Look, Sandi, it was just a one time set back because I'm tired."

Sandi's voice takes on a venomous tone.

"Is that it? Or is it really that you've lost interest in me physically as well?"

Joey is now very uncomfortable.

"Don't be ridiculous, Sandi."

Sandi scowls at Joey. There is obvious anger and hurt in her voice now.

"Ridiculous!? You don't even want to have sex with me anymore and think I'm being ridiculous!?"

Joey is now nervous. He desperately tries to calm her down but his attempts fall short.

"I know you're disappointed. We can try again."

In a voice dripping with bitterness, Sandi said "Don't bother. I have a headache now."

Sandi then turns away from him and tries to sleep. Joey is both disappointed and relieved. The truth is that he has lost physical interest in her. He'd really rather do it with someone else. Sex with his girlfriend is just not fun anymore.


Trent and Lindy's suite...

Trent and Lindy are sitting at the table talking.

Lindy said "You don't feel awkward sharing a room with me?"

Trent just shrugged.

"Why would I?"

"Because you're a guy, I'm a girl and we're just friends."

Trent said "Jane and Daria are sharing a room and they're just friends."

Lindy said "But they're both girls so potential sexual tension isn't an issue. Unless you know something about them that I don't."

Trent does his laugh/cough.

"Good one, Lindy."

Lindy asked, in an unusually suggestive tone "What are the sleeping arrangements?"

Why did I use that tone? Am I really thinking about seducing him?

Trent, not noticing the suggestive tone in Lindy's voice, said "Don't worry, you can have the bed. I can sleep on almost anything. Just ask Jane."

Lindy giggles at that one. Once she's finished she tells him "Trent, you can have the bed. The fold out will be just fine for me."

She looks at her watch.

"Look at the time. We'd better turn in."

"Um, Yeah, I guess." said Trent, who's unaccustomed to going to bed at a sensible hour.

Lindy gets a t-shirt and boxer shorts from her suitcase. She starts to remove her clothes. Trent's eyes go wide as she removes her shirt and drops her pants to the floor before stepping out of them.

"You want some privacy?" he asked.

Now just wearing a bra and panties, Lindy said "The bathroom feels clostrophobic. I don't mind you seeing me naked, I know you won't do anything." while thinking Not that I'd mind if you did.

Lindys eyes suddenly go wide.

Did I really just think that!?

She then thought I don't know what wierds me out more: changing in front of Trent or the fact that I feel so comfortable around him that I actually want him to see me naked.

Lindy unhooks her bra. Now Trent can't help staring.

He thought Her body's so beautiful. I think I'll write a song about it.

Out loud, he sings "Strip away the shades, cover fades, just unspoiled beauty that God made, no more covers, no more lies, just naked beuaty, before my eyes."

A now completely naked Lindy grins flirtatiously.

She said "Why, Trent, are you singing about my naked body?"

Trent blushes.

"Um, Yeah. You know, inspiration."

Lindy smiles before she resumes changing.


Jane and Daria's sweet...

Jane and Daria are talking.

Jane said "So, Buckingham palace, huh?"

Daria deadpanned "Because what's a stay in London without a visit to Great Britain's most obsolete institution."

"Don't say that in public, unless you like an angry chorus of people shouting "Off with her head"."

"I got enough of that in high school."


Outside of Buckingham Palace, the next day...

Daria and Jane are standing in front of one of the palace guards.

Daria said "You know he's not allowed to talk or move while at his post."

Intrigued, Jane said "You mean I can make obscene gestures and verbally abuse him and he'll just have to stand there and take it?"

"In theory, yes. Just don't expect me to bail you out of prison if I'm wrong."

Jane now has a wicked grin on her face. She decides to put this theory to the test.

"Hey, limey! Yeah, you, the ugly moron in red!"

The guard remains standing and doesn't even blink as Jane flips him off.

She next says "I heard you have a small dick."

No reaction from the guard. Jane is loving this and even Daria is visibly amused.

Jane said "I heard that your mom's a whore."

Still no reaction.

Jane said "You were right, Daria. Wanna give it a try?"

"Fine."

Daria stands in front of the guard.

She said "You do realize that you represent an archaic institution that is completely out of step with the modern world, don't you? Your boss is a figurehead and a pointless relic from a bygone era when feudalism still reigned. You have what has got to be the most pointless job in the world, protecting an old woman who is unjustly deified to an absurd extent. That and you were conceived in a truck stop lavatory by a slut who used a candy wrapper instead of a condom."

No response from the guard, though he probably wants to bludgeon Daria to death. A team of palace guards emerges from the gate. Daria and Jane become very nervous for fear that they may have pushed the envelope too far. The guard that they were taunting leaves his post while one from the group replaces him. The team then marches back inside. Jane and Daria are very relieved that it was just a routine changing of the guard.

Jane asked "Wanna make fun of this one too?"

Daria said "I'll pass. I've had enough antics for one day."

With that, Daria and Jane leave.


Outside The Houses of Parliament, later that same day...

Quinn and Jim are taking pictures.

Jim said "So, that's the famous 'Big Ben'."

Quinn said "When I was a little girl I actually thought Big Ben was just some fat guy."

Jim can't help laughing at that one. Quinn looks a little offended.

Jim said "Don't worry, I just thought it was ironic because I thought the exact same thing when I was a kid."

Quinn smiles sweetly.

"Nice save."

At this point they are approached by Sandi. Joey is notably absent.

Quinn said "Hi, Sandi."

Jim asked "Where's Joey?"

Bitterly, Sandi said "He's with Jake and Helen. If you can believe it Helen had to explain to both of them that Big Ben is a clock tower, not a person."

Quinn and Jim can't help snickering given the conversation they'd just had. They stop when Sandi starts looking sad.

Quinn asked "Sandi, what's wrong?"

Sandi said "This vacation is off to a slow start as far as romance is concerned. At least for Joey and I. What did you two do after you settled in at the hotel."

Quinn said "Nothing special."

Jim added "Had some room service, then had some hot vacation sex."

Sandi eyes them enviously.

She said "Jim, could I have a moment with Quinn? Girl talk."

Jim said "No problem. I'll be around the corner snapping some more pics."

With that, Jim left. Once alone Sandi opens up to Quinn.

"Last night Joey and I tried to have sex. It didn't go so well."

Quinn asked "What happened? It wasn't something gross, was it?"

Sandi said "No. He just had trouble getting it up. When he did he had a hard time staying hard."

"Maybe he was just tired from the flight."

"I hope so. I'm afraid he's lost interest in me physically. I even accused him of it."

Quinn said "You were upset, that's all. I'm sure he understands that. He was probably just tired from the flight."

Sandi looks very thoughtful.

"Quinn?" she asked.

"Yes."

"How do you and Jim do it? Keep the spark going, I mean."

Quinn said "We keep things varied in the bedroom."

Sandi said "I meant the relationship in general. It occurs to me that the trouble Joey and I had in bed was a symptom of a broader problem. Our relationship is falling apart and I'm trying like hell to save it. The problem is that I don't see Joey making any effort at all."

Quinn puts a hand on Sandi's shoulder and smiles reassuringly.

Quinn said "Jim and I get each other and don't take each other for granted. He's my lover and best friend all rolled into one. We enjoy each other's company and never wanna see each other hurt. We both want this to last and we're willing to do whatever's necessary to keep it going. My mom once told me that it's the relationships where they're both willing to keep working at it that last. The ones where one or both expect 100% smooth sailing 100% of the time are the ones that don't last. You and Joey just need to keep at it."

Sandi smiles.

"Thanks."


At another area of the Houses of Parliament...

Trent and Lindy are admiring the view of the Thames River.

Lindy said "Trent?"

"Yeah."

"Do you feel weird about last night?"

Trent looked at Lindy.

"Why do you ask?"

Lindy said "It's just that I was a little flirty and we're just friends. I was even naked in front of you. I haven't been that loose with a guy since I quit drinking."

Trent said "You're a graphic designer, I'm a musician. We're both artistic types, we're sensitive to shifts in mood. You were comfortable because you knew I wouldn't do anything."

Lindy said "And you didn't. Except for coming up with a song, that is." Though a part of me wanted to turn you on. Why can't I stop thinking about Trent like that?

Trent said "It's no big deal, Lindy. When it comes to sex, drugs and nudity I've seen it all."

Lindy said "You're so sweet, Trent." I did not just say that!

Trent smiles.

"Thanks."


Musical Montage

Music: "Anarchy In The UK" by The Sex Pistols

We first see the whole gang riding a double deck bus across the Tower Bridge. Next, they're on a guided tour of the Tower of London. Cut to the dungeon and we see Quinn and Sandi looking horrified while Daria and Jane seem perversely fascinated. Next, we see them all snapping pictures of Piccadilly Circus. Trent and Lindy are looking at each other affectionately.

Trent said "No clowns or elephants. This circus sucks."

Lindy seems amused by his cluelessness. Next, we see the whole group at Abbey Road. Jake and Helen look on with a feeling of nostalgia.

Jake said "To think, Helen, the Beatles probably once stood on this very spot."

Cut to a punk rock club. Trent and Lindy are alternating between moshing and making cute faces at each other. Jim and Quinn are doing the same thing over drinks at the bar while Joey eyes them with sadness and Sandi with envy. Last shot is at the end of the week. They are at the London Bridge station boarding a bullet train bound for Paris.