Chapter Two: Sherlock's Sexy and John's Hair Is Cute
Sherlock's dialogue is in bold.
John's dialogue is normal.
'John?'
'Yes, love?'
'Why did you pull Lestrade out of a taxi?'
'He refused to get out voluntairily.'
'I see.'
'...'
'John?'
'Yes, Sherlock?'
'Why did Lestrade not want to get out voluntairily?'
'I told him Mycroft was coming over.'
'And...?'
'Well...'
'Lestrade is smoking again.'
'Stop staring at him.'
'I can stare at whoever I want. I am in my flat, in my dressing gown, looking throguh my window-'
'Our window.'
'Whatever.'
'Say it.'
'But John-'
'I'm waiting, Sherlock.'
'Fine, fine; our window.'
'Don't roll your eyes at me.'
'I'm not rolling my eyes, John.'
'Yes you are, Sherlock.'
'Am not.'
'Are too.'
'Am not.'
'Are- God, why are we fighting?'
'You started it.'
'Anyway, I dragged Greg out... wait, smoking? I thought he quit?'
'Oh, so you're allowed to stare out of the window but not me?'
'Yes.'
'You/re a weird man, John Watson.'
'Amazingly, you're not the first person to say that to me today.'
'Lestrade was working a case, why is he here?'
'He shouldn't smoke, smoking's bad.'
'Well duh, he's forty-seven, I do believe he knows that.'
'And you're thirty-four yet somehow don't know it.'
'... I don't smoke.'
'Yes you do.'
'Well, not anymore; I quit, remember?'
'Sherlock, don't lie to me.'
'I'm not lying, I have quit.'
'Oh, really?'
'Yes.'
'You sure about that?'
'Quite sure.'
'Don't want to... you know, tell me the truth?'
'I am telling the truth, John.'
'...'
'Oh.'
'Yeah.'
'I... didn't know you knew about those.'
'You didn't think I knew about you hiding cigarettes in my dressing gown?'
'Well you barely ever wear it.'
'Except when I have a migraine. When my head hurts I have some tea, walk around the flat in my jim jams, and wear my dressing gown.'
'Right...'
'And what was I doing yesterday?'
'Drinking tea, walking around the flat, and wearing your pyjamas.'
'Yes.'
'So...'
'I know you have a cigarette when you get bored; I smelt it on you yesterday.'
'Oh.'
'Yes, Sherlock.'
'I'm... sorry?'
'You're quitting, alright? No secret stashes or anything; cold turkey.'
'But John-'
'No whining either.'
'John-'
'No sex.'
'JOHN!'
'No sex, Sherlock, I told you that.'
'You're witholding sex because I smoke?'
'No, I'm witholding sex because you lied to me. Sherlock, you're a grown man, I can't stop you smoking. I don't appreciate you lying to me about said smoking. So; no. Sex. For. A. Week.'
'A week?'
'Yes.'
'But John-'
'No, I don't care if you have no cases or are incredibly horny or find the way I hold my toast adorable, no sex.'
'... you do hold toast incredibly cutely.'
'No, Sherlock.'
'And when you wake up, your hair goes all messy, very arousing.'
'Sherlock, stop it.'
'Stop what, John?'
'Stop being all... sexy.'
'Am I being sexy?'
'You bloody know you are.'
'Yes, well...'
'No, Sherlock, stay away.'
'John-'
'Three metre radius, Sherlock.'
'But John-'
'You're in my personal space.'
'John...'
'Sh-Sherlock...'
'...'
'...'
'...'
'...'
'What are they doing?'
'Oh yeah, just throw me aside, no worries. I mean, we weren't making out or anything.'
'My brother is outside talking to Lestrade.'
'So? You bastard, you bruised my lip.'
'They're very... close...'
'So...?'
'Why is Lestrade blushing?'
'...'
'John, why are you giggling?'
'I'm not giggling.'
'Yes you are, John, what do you know?'
'...'
'John!'
'Fine, fine; I told Greg that Mycroft sort of... fancied him.'
'Why would you do that?'
'Why not?'
'My brother doesn't want Lestrade knowing.'
'Why?'
'The same reason you didn't want me to know that you loved me.'
'Ah, right; embarrassed, scared of rejection, okay... but Greg likes Mycroft.'
'He does?'
''Course he does, Sherlock.'
'I see...'
'You mean you didn't know?'
'Of course I didn't know; I thought Lestrade was straight.'
'You thought I was straight.'
'Yes, well you were always saying, 'We're not a couple', 'We're just friends', 'I'm not gay'...'
'Well I'm not gay.'
'So the sex we have is... what?'
'I'm bisexual.'
'Ah.'
'Yes, no one ever asked that, did they?'
'No, John, they didn't... very clever.'
'Thank you.'
'I knew there was a reason I loved you.'
'So it's not just my adorable hair?'
'That plays a small part, I will admit.'
'Stop looking at me like that.'
'Why?'
'We'll end up snogging again and we need to be here for Greg and Mycroft.'
'Why?'
'Well neither one's gonna admit they wanna shag the other, are they?'
'That thought is truly horrifying.'
'Sherlock-'
'No, stop.'
'Sher-'
'La, la, la!'
'...'
'...'
'...'
'I thought you didn't want to kiss anymore.'
'It's a good way to shut you up.'
'John, they're coming upstairs.'
'Put your game face on.'
'My... game face?'
'Yup; I'm gonna talk to Mycroft, you to Greg.'
'What, why?'
'Do you really wanna talk to your brother about sex?'
'... no, no I don't.'
'There you go. So sit down, shut up, and be nice.'
'Yes, sir.'
Author's Note: And another chapter! This is fun to write, honestly, but very difficult trying to get everything out in dialogue alone. What I love is that you can interpret the chapter however you want and decide what the characters are doing... good fun :)
Onwards, men, hoorah!
Oh, and cheers for the reviews, you guys rock! They were all funny and made me smile, which was amazing after my computer died. So... thank you again.
{Dreamer}
